Throughout the ages there have been countless pieces of legendary kitchenware. There was of course that Holy Grail, from which Jesus and his disciples suckled the sweet nectars of enlightenment. Then later there was George II’s silver coffee pot which recently sold for $7 million. And can’t forget Harry Potter’s Goblet of Fire either. Now there’s a new piece of silver-like-material garnering the attention of the world: The RazzBowl. As 189 of the top fantasy analysts in the universe went to battle against 63 of the hungriest fantasy football fans in the multiverse, your benefactor (that’s me, Donkey Teeth) found himself surrounded by wolves and sharks in the early rounds of his RazzBowl draft. Jake Ciely had a crazy look in his eye as he stole Saquon Barkley at pick 8. Rob Waziak took to mental warfare, milking the clock down to fractions of decimals of quantum milliseconds before swiping Diontae Johnson in the 4th round as he lulled the rest of the league into a deep slumber. Joe Bond woke us up by rattling off clever penis inspired league names in an effort to win a free Rotowear t-shirt. All the while I cowered, shaking in the corner, wondering how early I might have to reach for Kerryon Johnson is this league of the undead, and unloved. Anyway, here’s the first four rounds of our 2021 RazzBowl draft:

Note: This is a full PPR, 1 QB contest. See Full RazzBowl Rules & Settings.

Pick Player Team
1.1 Christian McCaffrey Joe Bond | Fantasy Six Pack
1.2 Dalvin Cook Kenyatta Storin | Number Fire
1.3 Alvin Kamara Adam Murfet | 5 Yard Rush
1.4 Nick Chubb Rob Waziak | Waz NFL
1.5 Derrick Henry Matt Cochran | Fan
1.6 Ezekiel Elliott Daniel Haas | Fan
1.7 Jonathan Taylor Donkey Teeth | Razzball
1.8 Saquon Barkley Jake Ciely | The Athletic
1.9 Stefon Diggs Greg Boyce | Fan
1.10 Travis Kelce Jordan Loupe | Razzball
1.11 Tyreek Hill Mike Petropoulos | BRoto
1.12 Aaron Jones Mase Riney | 5 Yard Rush
2.13 Calvin Ridley Mase Riney | 5 Yard Rush
2.14 Darren Waller Mike Petropoulos | BRoto
2.15 Austin Ekeler Jordan Loupe | Razzball
2.16 Davante Adams Greg Boyce | Fan
2.17 Joe Mixon Jake Ciely | The Athletic
2.18 Antonio Gibson Donkey Teeth | Razzball
2.19 DeAndre Hopkins Daniel Haas | Fan
2.20 Justin Jefferson Matt Cochran | Fan
2.21 Najee Harris Rob Waziak | Waz NFL
2.22 J.K. Dobbins Adam Murfet | 5 Yard Rush
2.23 Clyde Edwards-Helaire Kenyatta Storin | Number Fire
2.24 A.J. Brown Joe Bond | Fantasy Six Pack
3.25 Keenan Allen Joe Bond | Fantasy Six Pack
3.26 D.K. Metcalf Kenyatta Storin | Number Fire
3.27 Allen Robinson Adam Murfet | 5 Yard Rush
3.28 Terry McLaurin Rob Waziak | Waz NFL
3.29 D’Andre Swift Matt Cochran | Fan
3.30 Tyler Lockett Daniel Haas | Fan
3.31 Patrick Mahomes Donkey Teeth | Razzball
3.32 CeeDee Lamb Jake Ciely | The Athletic
3.33 Amari Cooper Greg Boyce | Fan
3.34 Robert Woods Jordan Loupe | Razzball
3.35 George Kittle Mike Petropoulos | BRoto
3.36 Josh Allen Mase Riney | 5 Yard Rush
4.37 Josh Jacobs Mase Riney | 5 Yard Rush
4.38 Julio Jones Mike Petropoulos | BRoto
4.39 Chris Godwin Jordan Loupe | Razzball
4.40 Chris Carson Greg Boyce | Fan
4.41 Darrell Henderson Jake Ciely | The Athletic
4.42 Miles Sanders Donkey Teeth | Razzball
4.43 David Montgomery Daniel Haas | Fan
4.44 Mike Evans Matt Cochran | Fan
4.45 Diontae Johnson Rob Waziak | Waz NFL
4.46 Adam Thielen Adam Murfet | 5 Yard Rush
4.47 D.J. Moore Kenyatta Storin | Number Fire
4.48 Kyle Pitts Joe Bond | Fantasy Six Pack


My Picks

1.7 Jonathan Taylor – I went over why I love Taylor this year in my top 10 running backs for 2021 fantasy football where I ranked him #2. This was a no-brainer pick for me at seven, and I think the whole world is asleep at the wheel letting JT slip past the first few picks this year.

2.18 Antonio Gibson – I’m not one to box myself into any draft strategy, but RB/RB is my preference in the first two rounds this season. Landing my #1 and #8 ranked players at #7 and #18 was a dream. The sky is the limit for these two, they could legitimately finish the season as the top two fantasy players and I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised.

3.31 Patrick Mahomes – I’m not one of those analysts that will tell you to automatically fade the quarterback position in your draft each season. It has it’s merit, but each league is unique and we can’t discount the advantage of owning the #1 QB come fantasy playoff time. If there’s one format to pay up for the top QB, this is it. This contest uses 6 point passing touchdowns AND awards 1 point for every 20 passing yards, as compared to the traditional 1 point per 25 yards. Know your league. 

4.42 Miles Sanders – I hate to be one of those guys who talks non-stop about how much they love their team. But man I love my team! I have a feeling Sanders in the fourth round will be something everyone looks back on and wonders, “how did we let it happen!” I mean, I do get it, everyone is afraid this is the year Kerryon Johnson finally breaks out!


Best Values

3.35 George Kittle – With Kelce going in the first and Waller going early second round, Kittle with the next to last pick in the third was incredible relative value for Mike Petropoulos of BRoto. Relative value aside, this is great absolute value too! There’s a very real advantage to owning one of the top tight ends come RazzBowl playoffs, when many of your opponents with have to weigh an Evan Engram against a Tyler Higbee against that Norwegnien neighbor kid, while you sit back and play the set-it-and-forget-it game. Kittle is the last of the true elites in my book.

4.43 David Montgomery – I talked about it in my top 25 running backs for 2021 fantasy football: Montgomery going at the back end of the third after finishing last year as the #4 fantasy back seems nuts. Well forget back end of the third, fan Daniel Haas just landed him midway through the fourth round!


Biggest Surprises

1.4 Nick Chubb – Rob Waziak shocked the draft room in the early going with this selection. Chubb typically will go off the board at the back end of the first, maybe even early second round in full PPR leagues such as this. That said, I love Chubb as well (#7 in my rankings) and sometimes we have to take a stand and draft our players wherever we can get em. There was no way Chubb was making it back to Rob in the second round, so it was pick four or never. Respect.

4.41 Darrell Henderson – So I guess Jake Ciely isn’t too worried about the Rams bringing in another running back in the wake of the Cam Akers’ season ending Achilles injury? I have a similar lack of concern about the situation myself. Now, there’s a chance this might be the high water mark for Henderson once we run the ADP and min/max numbers on all 21 RazzBowl leagues. But as I look over our draft board, the only two running backs left who I would’ve grabbed over Henderson at this specific pick were Sanders and Montgomery (the next two picks off the board). So while initially this pops out as a reach, it’ll probably only end up being slightly ahead of Hendy’s ADP by the middle of draft season. No issues with the pick whatsoever.


  1. Jolt In Flow says:

    Hahaha! I swear if in 10 years you’re still doing fantasy football (or the equivalent of it at that time), I’ll bring up Kerryon Johnson. You need a half Lions blue, half Eagles green shirt that says, “I still believe” on the front and “Carry On” on the back.

    If Metcalf was still around at your 3rd round pick, would you have taken him over Mahomes?

    Nice team so far. Looking forward to seeing the rest of it.


    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:

      Haha! I think BDon has become the new Kerryon guy actually. I just like Sanders too much to have any excitement about Kerryon as more than a handcuff this year.

      That woulda been a tough choice for me, but I think I go with Mahomes because of this format. With it being best ball for the first 10 weeks, I think WR is the position I’m most OK being weak at. Will go with a volume approach and hopefully three of my guys separate themselves from the pack by playoff time week 11. Also, much easier to land a surprise WR via free agency compared to the other positions…

      Thanks, Jolt! Always appreciate ya!

  2. Earl says:

    Hey Donkey,

    I have 1.1 pick in rookie draft. Do I take Harris or Chase?

    My team could use wr help more than Rb but still like both

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