Driving down a dark neighborhood street last night, I came across an opossum chilling in the middle of the road. This little marsupial, with a penchant for playing dead, got me thinking about one of my RazzBowl draft picks who I sure thought was dead until week 5 came along: Will Fuller. The Varmint scored 3 touchdowns in week 5 as he powered Team Donkey Teeth all the way up from 49th to 18th place.Â
Enough about me though. Unless you want to hear more? No? Dang.
Michael Stepney of The Fantasy Authority has reclaimed the top RazzBowl spot once again over Pat Fitzmaurice of The Football Girl with Adam Ronis of Full Time Fantasy rounding out the top three, all separated by less than 15 points. But look out fellas, Donkey Teeth—like Will Fuller—was only playing dead. RazzBowl on!Â
What makes the RazzBowl especially unique compared to other best ball formats and industry leagues is our addition of a $10 FAAB budget for the entire way season with a minimum of $1 bids. This allows teams to cycle out dead roster spots (e.g. Andrew Luck, Lamar Miller, etc) but it also means each team will only be allowed a maximum of ten moves for the entire season. Every dollar of each competitor’s free agent budget is just as precious as a Bill Belichick smile.
When teams choose to pony up their FAAB, it’s worthwhile to take a look and see why. There could be a goldmine of speculative adds buried in the RazzBowl transactions this season.
Most RazzBowlers are now more broke than Donkey Teeth after the sugar beet farmers market comes to town, but here’s a few players our competitors found some money for this week:
Gerald Everett [$5, $3, $1, $1] – Last Thursday against the Seahawks, Everett looked like a mix between Gronk and C.T. from The Challenge as he dragged defenders, taking no prisoners. He’s worth a shot if you’re tight end needy, just remember Goff has even more mouths to feed than Phillip Rivers.Â
Auden Tate [$3, $3, $2, $2, $1, $1, $1, $1] – Tate was a popular name last week but was only scooped up in 3 of the 15 RazzBowl leagues. Everyone wanted to touch the Tate this week after he caught his first career touchdown. Bengals management denies the A.J. Green trade rumors, which would skyrocket Auden’s long term value. But what do you expect the Bengals to say, “Our team sucks and we’re tanking for Tua”?Â
Gardner Minshew [$1, $1, $1]Â – I’ve vowed to cover Minshew in every post this season because he’s the man. Case in point: Minshew is now experiencing “groin soreness”. Exactly how do you think his groin became so sore? (it was the sex)
Reggie Bonnafon [$3, $3] – And the handcuffing begins. Two Christian McCaffrey owners now have protection. Always carry protection if you’re into the kinky handcuff stuff.
Geoff Swaim [$1, $1] – James Oh Shag Hennessy has hit the IR and Swaim will now be the new top TE in Jacksonville. This just in: the Jaguars have asked Swaim to “take care of Gardner’s groin”. I’m jealous.
Jonathan Hilliman [$1, $1] – I made it known on this week’s waiver wire podcast that I had no interest in Hilliman. The Giants faced the ridiculous Patriots defense on Thursday night this week—Hilliman ended up compiling a meager 35 total yards—and Saquon heals like Wolverine.
Darius Slayton [$1] – Sterling Shepard suffered his second concussion of the season which, as you might guess, is bad news. I won’t be surprised if Shepard misses a large portion of the season and the 5th round rookie Slayton stands to absorb plenty of his targets; Jones has now looked his way 20 times in his first 4 starts.
Preston Williams [$1] – I have a few questions for League 14. Well, actually just one question: how the hell was Preston Williams still available? The kid has been a target machine—30 thru four weeks—and the Dolphins will be playing from behind until 2029. Williams should be rostered in all but shallow leagues.
Others players purchased this week: Darrel Williams x2, Jason Witten, Jordan Wilkins, Paul Richardson, Dare Ogunbowale, Jordan Akins, Darren Fells, Adrian Peterson, David Moore, Duke Williams, Dawson Knox, Devante Parker
Want a chance to compete against the top industry analysts in next year’s RazzBowl? Apply now!
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Find Donkey Teeth on Twitter. Subscribe to his podcast: The Razzball Fantasy Football Podcast on Itunes, Stitcher, or wherever you get your podcasts.
