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As Grey pointed out yesterday, I hope all of you had a great Thanksgiving. It’s my favorite holiday of the year, mostly because I cook, drink, and football the sh*t out of it. And, of course, it’s a day of thanks, so what better thing is there to do than to thank you, the Razzball community? Well, now that I think of it, I should probably thank your mom for that one thing at that one position that happened multiple times… But seriously, the truth is, I’ve been lucky to be given the opportunity to entertain, help, and interact with all you, and I love it. And all I have to do is fart and d*ck jokes all day long. That being said, after enjoying my extravaganza of a feast (I’d be happy to share my recipes in the comments if you’re interested), I will admit… I may have napped too long. When I woke up and saw the ending of the Eagles-Dallas game, I thought I slept right into December. In fact, Romo actually saw his shadow yesterday, confirming that Romocember has arrived early. There was also a Bears-Lions game that was captivating for about a quarter and then there was a Seahawks-49ers match-up featuring Jim Harbaugh and Pete Carroll. And I’ll admit, I hadn’t seen an interaction between two assholes like that since I watched Requiem for a Dream

 

Chicago – 17, Detroit – 34

Matthew Stafford – 34/45, 390 YDS, 2 TD. Matt Stafford has a name that would work very well in a pictogram puzzle. It would essentially be just a floor mat, “hew” written out, and then a staff of some sort, ending with a Ford F-150.

Calvin Johnson – 11 REC, 146 YDS, 2 TD. Advantages of being Calvin Johnson: He’s good at the game of footballing. He can retrieve things from high places, like a high shelf and what not. He’s also very efficient at dusting the top of a refrigerator. The disadvantages of being Calvin Johnson: Being a Decepticon. To be honest, this can technically be an advantage.

Jay Cutler – 31/48, 280 YDS, 2 TD, 2 INT and 1 CAR, -1 YDS. Ended the game with an interception, which seems to be the most Jay Cutler way to end such a Jay Cutler game.

Matt Forte – 5 CAR, 6 YDS and 6 REC, 52 YDS. There is no God.

Brandon Marshall – 6 REC, 42 YDS. This was the worst production by a Marshall since Renaissance Man. (Farts, leaves room.)

 

Eagles – 33, Cowboys – 10

Mark Sanchez – 20/29, 217 YDS, 1 TD and 7 CAR, 28 YDS, 1 TD. Mark Sanchez perfected his quarterback slide by practicing going under middle school fences in a hurry…

LeSean McCoy – 25 CAR, 159 YDS, 1 TD. That production seems a bit Shady, right? I mean, maybe. Eh, you’re right, it’s the real McCoy…

Riley Cooper – 4 REC, 32 YDS. Cooper likes most holidays, but he hates Black Friday with a passion.

Tony Romo – 18/29, 199 YDS, 2 INT and 1 CAR, -1 YDS. Starring in Romopocalypse Now.

Lance Dunbar – 2 CAR, 15 YDS. Lance Dunbar… more like Dungbar, amirite?

 

Seahawks – 19, 49ers – 3

Russell Wilson – 15/22, 236 YDS, 1 TD and 7 CAR, 35 YDS. Russell Wilson plays point guard like Russell Westbrook plays quarterback.

Marshawn Lynch – 20 CAR, 104 YDS and 1 REC, 7 YDS. Do you ever think he ever marvels at how good he is at football? Or is it just because my mouth is full of Skittles?

Robert Turbin – 4 CAR, 8 YDS and 2 REC, 47 YDS, 1 TD. Turbin snuck out? Way to go Obama…

Colin Kaepernick – 16/29, 121 YDS, 2 INT. Most teams avoid Richard Sherman, so it was a surprise to see Kaepernick throw the ball directly to him… twice.

So you have Michael Crabtree (3 REC, 10 YDS.), Anquan Boldin (3 REC, 18 YDS.), and Vernon Davis (2 REC, 13 YDS.)… so you should obviously keep forcing it to Brandon Lloyd (1 REC, 6 YDS, 6 TGTS, tied for highest), who was matched-up against Richard Sherman for most of the night… bold strategy, I guess.

 

  1. Paul C says:
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    “It’s a bold strategy, Cotton. Let’s see if it pays off for ’em.”

    Most teams avoid Richard Sherman, so it was a surprise to see Kaepernick throw the ball directly to him… twice.

    • Mordacious Levator says:
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      @Paul C: cool boldface (where does he get all those wonderful toys?)

  2. TJ says:
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    Charles Clay and Dwayne Allen are on waivers in my PPR league. Worth dropping Larry Donnell for either?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @TJ: Hold.

  3. ThGreatKyle says:
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    So just tryin this for the first time wanna know something I saw your ROS rankings and want to know who to keep for ROS. SO Steven Hauschka or Justin Tucker, It seems like the Hawks kick more field goals then the Ravens what is you opinion thanks!

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @ThGreatKyle: I like Tucker, but it’s close enough where I think it doesn’t matter.

  4. Scott says:
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    Kaepernick has been the antidote to struggling D’s. Witness what happened to the Rams.

    • Mordacious Levator says:
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      @Scott: oh hell yeah

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Scott: His accuracy is just terrible, and you take away the read-option… just not much there. Is it play-calling? To be fair, I think it’s a bit of everything.

  5. ryanoger says:
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    Hope you had a great Thanksgiving

    So I’m wondering who I should slot in this week and based on your rankings I think I know what to do but…

    QB- A Rodgers
    WR- Jordy
    WR-Keenan
    RB-DeMarco
    RB-Denard
    TE-A Gates
    Flex WR/RB/TE- ?

    Gostkowski and Bills

    Who should I slot into my flex spot?
    Mike Evans, Tre Mason, Latavius (if he goes), Sims, Kelce, Percy, Jordan Matthews (off the board)

    Should I slot Keenan where I have him or slot Mike Evans there and flex someone like Tre Mason? Thoughts? Denard with that WR eligibility he can be slotted there as well…what’s my move?

    Thanks as always man

    best,
    Ryan

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @ryanoger: You too! I’d go Evans/Mason.

  6. Scott says:
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    Looking ahead to Week 15, do you like Eli Manning vs. Washington or Zach Mettenberger vs. Jets?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Scott: Manning.

  7. Jake the snake says:
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    Hey jay I have two open spots on my bench so I can add without dropping anyone.
    Who would you add for the stretch run / anyone I should keep tabs on for insurance?

    — my rbs: Gio bernard, jeremy hill, rashad Jennings, dan Herron, Crowell & ben Tate

    — my wrs: Demaryius thomas , Kelvin benjamin , odell beckham jr, martivis bryant & kenny stills.

    — here are available RB’s:
    Roy helu, benny Cunningham , gerhart, Davonte Freeman , DMC , taliaferro , joe barnyard, juwan thompson, Khiry robinson, & Shonn greene.

    — available WR’s;
    Stedman Bailey, andre holmes, eddie royal, donte moncrief, Preston Parker, Brian hartline , Marqise lee

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Jake the snake: If it’s an open spot, Cunningham and Lee.

  8. Steve Stevenson says:
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    I’m about to have a free roster spot thanks to a 2-1 trade. 0.5 ppr, start 2rb, 2wr, 1 w/r/t. What would you use it for?

    A. Playoff DST stash, either GB (Atl, @Buf, @TB in playoffs) or KC (@Ari, Oak, @Pit). My biggest need is wk15.
    B. Cameron, as an upside flex stash and potential Gronk insurance
    C. Hillman, in case he gets his job back (I’m starting CJ Anderson)
    D. Stills. I have 3 solid WR with good matchups (Dez, Roddy, Benjamin) but he does have a nice setup

  9. ThGreatKyle says:
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    ROS IN ORDER Jordan Cameron or Larry Donnell

  10. Clos says:
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    Should I start Rivers or Newton? 3 qb league.. Started Sanchez and I thought Kaepernick was going to come out and have a good game.. He clearly f’d me hard last night.. So now I’m stuck with either starting Newton or Rivers.. Right now I’ve got Rivers starting.. Who would you start?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Clos: Rivers.

  11. Nick says:
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    Hey Jay, who should I start in a non-ppr league?

    WR3 options: M Bryant, Sanu or K Allen?
    Flex: Ingram, Mathews or the WRs listed above..

    I know you say Ingram is safer bet to Mathews, but I think I’ll take your homerism & run with Mathews at flex…unless you think a combo of K Allen at wr3 & Sanu at flex is better…

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Nick: Bryant and Mathews. Beware of the homerism!

  12. goodfold2 says:
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    testing. comments aren’t showing up in hockey part of site. don’t know why.

    • goodfold2 says:
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      @goodfold2: ok, they work here. i’ll email JD i guess.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @goodfold2: Yeah, I saw that email just pop up. I’m sure our tech guy is looking at it. Though, communication may be delayed due to holiday.

      • goodfold2 says:
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        @Jay: no prob with me, i’m in no hurry. thanks.

  13. SMLV1 says:
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    Should I really roll with Jarvis Landry over Andre Johnson and Reggie Wayne this week?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @SMLV1: It’s closer for me right now, double check my rankings at midnight (pst) tonight. I should have a clearer picture.

  14. Janssen with the Stars says:
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    Does Reece jump up in your rankings now that Murray has been ruled out? Need to start one of these at FLEx in deep 14 team league:

    Reece
    Ivory
    Rudolph
    Helu
    Davonte Adams

  15. david says:
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    Great stuff as always Jay!
    I have the Bills and Cardinals DST…. In Week 14, the Bills play Den (and GB after that) (yikes!)… The Cardinals play KC (then STL)

    Should I drop the Bills even though they have carried me all year? Other options out there include Min (vs Jets) and Rams (vs Was) or should I stick with the Cards for week 14 and 15 then play the Bills week 16?
    I do like the Bills’ week 16 matchup vs Oak though…
    What do you think?

    Thanks!

Comments are closed.