When Daniel LaRusso unleashed the crane kick on John Lawrence at the end of the finals of the 1984 All Valley Karate Championships, not only did he win the tournament and defeat the Cobra Kais, but he also made movie history. If any guy tells you that he’s never gotten into the crane kick position, he’s either lying, physically disabled or lying. The only movie scene I’ve reenacted more times than the crane kick is when Thornton Melon gets on the diving board, executes a few armpit farts and tests the wind with his thumb before pulling off the Triple Lindy.

What does any of this have to do with fantasy football? Very little, but if you want to be the best around (or at least in your league) you need to be willing to take advantage of any advice that may come your way. We do not train to be merciful here. Mercy is for the weak. Here, in the Stats Machine, in competition: An opponent confronts you, he is the enemy. An enemy deserves no mercy. With that, I offer you the second installment of the Stats Machine in hopes that its content can give you that edge you deserve for reading this post.


Hidden Rupees Category 1: Best of the Rest (Weekly)

These are the players that are owned in less than approximately 70% of most leagues that were top performers based on last week’s stats.

Running Back: Knile Davis (35.5 SAV)

Jamaal who? Ha! I pity the fool that didn’t handcuff Charles with Davis. And I feel even worse for the owners that drafted Davis but have already dropped him. Who am I kidding, I don’t feel bad. The truth is I’m glad you did as I was able to pick him up in one of my two leagues. I bid $52 out of $100 FAAB, but lost to a $76 bid in a 12-team PPR. I was able to snag him with a $10 bid in my other 8-team league though. With Charles likely out until at least after Kansas City’s week 6 bye, Knile is setup to help out any fantasy owner for the next few weeks (and maybe longer). He didn’t miss a beat filling in, rushing for 79 yards on 22 carries and 2 touchdowns. He also saw 9 targets, of which he caught 6 for another 26 yards. For now Davis is your KC Masterpiece. Honorable Mention: (Matt Asiata 25.85)

Update: Apparently there is some slim chance that Charles will play on Sunday. I find that very hard to believe, and dumb, if he truly has a high ankle sprain. If he does share time with Knile, then all bets are off and you’d likely be better with another option and wait and see how things shake out.

Wide Receiver: James Jones (27.7 SAV)

It might be easy to confuse James Jones with Julio Jones when looking at this year’s stats, but they are indeed two completely different players that happen to have the same initials and play the same position. And at the moment they also have very similar stats. Everyone considers Julio a stud. Does that mean James is as well. If “a” equals “b” and “b” equals “c”, then doesn’t “a” equal “c”? While I wouldn’t consider James a stud, his week 2 stats are certainly stud material. Nine catches on 14 targets for 112 yards and a touchdown has me Jones’ing for some more. (Week 3 stats not factored into this article) Honorable Mention: (Mohamed Sanu 22.7)

Tight End: Niles Paul (26.25 SAV)

If Trent Reznor and Niles Paul collaborated on a project would it be called Nine Inch Niles? Or does that sound more like a porno you’d skip over when surfing the interweb (unless that’s your porn genre of choice)? Niles had a great week. And that will tend to happen when the quarterback throws the ball your way 11 times and you catch 8 of them. I’ll take 8 catches for 99 yards a touchdown from my tight end any day of the week, and twice on Sundays. But that doesn’t mean I am running out to grab Niles off the wire. I’m gonna keep an eye on the rapport he develops with Cousins and take it from there. Honorable Mention: (Owen Daniels 21.1)


Hidden Rupees Category 1A: Best of the Rest (Year To Date)

Here are the players at each position that are owned in less than approximately 70% of most leagues that have the highest SAV score year-to-date.

Running Back:
Justin Forsett (40.15)
Knile Davis (38.3)
Bobby Rainey (35.05)

Wide Receiver:
Andrew Hawkins (42.35)
James Jones (40.35)
Brian Quick (38.3)

Tight End:
Delanie Walker (46.65)
Larry Donnell (40.55)

I am buying all of these guys except Forsett and Donnell. I like Donnell, but I think you can get a better player than him since most teams don’t carry more than one tight end. I’ve been high on Andrew Hawkins since before week 1. Right now he’s the go to man in Cleveland and I’m enjoying every minute of it. That might change a bit once Jordan Cameron returns to full health and then when Josh Gordon completes his suspension, but until then I’m all in on Hawkins.


Hidden Rupees Category 2: Best of the Best (Weekly)

These are the top performing players based on last week’s stats regardless of percentage owned. I expect a lot of these to be no-brainers, but that won’t keep me from highlighting them.

Running Back: Giovani Bernard (35.5 SAV)

The “Nard Dog” (not you Andy) comes in as the top running back in PPR formats last week and year-to-date. Combine 27 rushes for 90 yards and a touchdown on the ground with 5 receptions for 79 yards in the air and you have the recipe for a running back stud. Even with Jeremy Hill behind him vulturing some TDs, I still love me some Gio. Honorable Mention: (Knile Davis 35.5, Darren Sproles 32.95)

Wide Receiver: Jordy Nelson (39.3 SAV)

Did someone say 209 yards receiving and a touchdown on 9 receptions and 16 targets? Now those ain’t no Jordinary stats. Everyone knows the Packers are going to put up a lot of points, the question is just how many of those will be in the hands of Nelson. And right now the answer is “plenty”. Expect that trend to continue. Honorable Mention: (Dez Bryant 29.3)

Tight End: Jimmy Graham (35.7 SAV)

Surprise. Surprise. It didn’t take Jimmy Graham long to appear as the tight end of the week. Brees and Graham hooked up for 10 catches on 13 targets for 118 yards and 2 touchdowns. If I were taking bets I’d say this isn’t going to be the last time Jimmy is highlighted here or that he puts up those numbers. I heard that Larry Johnson said when Jimmy gets married and has kids, he refuses to allow anyone to refer to the mother of those children as Graham-mama. Honorable Mention: (Delanie Walker 30.8, Antonio Gates 29.45)


Hidden Rupees Category 2A: Best of the Best (Year To Date)

Running Back:
Giovani Bernard (62.3)
Le’Veon Bell (60.7)
Matt Forte (55.45)

Wide Receiver:
Jordy Nelson (64)
Calvin Johnson (53.4)
Brandon Marshall (51.7)

Tight End:
Jimmy Graham (59.4)
Julius Thomas (50.2)
Martellus Bennett (48.85)

I think this list of names speaks for itself. Perhaps Martellus Bennett is the only surprise player here. Let’s see if he can stay here.


“Keep Them Hidden” Rupees: Duds of the Studs (Weekly)

These are the worst performing studs of the week. 

Running Back: Reggie Bush (9.2 SAV)

We’ve got Bush! Maybe Reggie was hanging with the Tri-Lambs on that deserted island before last week’s game. Six rushes for 26 yards coupled with 2 catches for 6 yards will make even Kim “I hate you” Kardashian regret playing Reggie.

Wide Receiver: Percy Harvin (8.75 SAV)

After last week Rick Riordan wrote a new book for his mildly popular series entitled Percy Jackson Harvin and the Incredibly Terrible Performance. One catch for 5 yards and fumble! If it wasn’t for the 2 rushes for 45 yards and a touchdown, this would have been way worse.

Tight End: Rob Gronkowski (9.1 SAV)

Even though he was only on the field for 27 of the team’s 65 offensive snaps I am still giving him the title of “Donk” of the week as his owners just expect more from him. Four catches for 32 yards and a drop just isn’t going to keep the fan club happy.

And if you’d like, examine the numbers yourself… (Downloadable Excel).

Losing does not exist in this dojo…

Put him in a body bag!

 

Previous Stats Machine Results:

Stats Machine Week 2.

  1. Steve says:
    (link)

    Just traded Keenan Allen and Cameron for Cor Patterson and khiry Robinson
    Have ertz as starting TE
    Was looking for upside in Patterson
    10 team standard
    Do u like trade??

    • CL says:
      (link)

      @Steve: I think Cameron is the best player in that deal. Ingram will be back, so Robinson may not get you as much as you think for the whole season. Patterson is a good pickup. Soooooo….. meh?

    • malamoney

      malamoney says:
      (link)

      @Steve: See my response below. I accidentally created a new comment as opposed to responding to yours…

  2. malamoney

    malamoney says:
    (link)

    I think Keenan Allen for Cordarelle Patterson is a push. That means you traded Cameron for Robinson. You definitely don’t need to carry two tight ends in a 10 team league, but I’m not sure how I feel about that. Who are your other running backs? Are you going to start Robinson? Ingram should be out at least a month giving Robinson a chance to show us his skills.

  3. Nikko says:
    (link)

    Hey! I have trade possibility: My Le’veon bell and Sanders for his Gio and Chris Johnson??

    • malamoney

      malamoney says:
      (link)

      @Nikko: Is this a PPR league? What we are basically looking at here is Bell for Gio and Sanders for Johnson. What does the rest of your roster look like? Have you been playing Sanders? Will you play Johnson?

      • Nikko says:
        (link)

        @malamoney:

        QBs: Matt Ryan
        RBs: Bell, Hill, Miller, Sankey, Forscet, Donald Brown, Jerick McKinnon
        WRs: Sanders, Vincent Jackson, Markus Wheaton, Welker
        TE: Ertz and Cook
        K: Tucker
        D: Texans

        Its standard. And I guess if i play Johnson, itll be due to match ups. Sanders is one of my starting receivers

        • malamoney

          malamoney says:
          (link)

          @Nikko: I think trading Sanders will weaken you at wide receiver. It will be interesting to see how things change with Welker back in the mix in Denver, but I don’t think you can afford to trade Sanders.

          What receivers are on the wire?

          • Nikko says:
            (link)

            @malamoney: Well he also offered me the trade with instead of Chris Johnson i would get Brian Quick.

            The tops 7 on the wavier are:
            Hurns
            Miles Austin
            Malcom Floyd
            Jason Avant
            John Brown
            Cotchery
            and Hester

            • malamoney

              malamoney says:
              (link)

              @Nikko: Hold. In standard I’d rather have Bell than Gio. Or at least it’s damn close. Let’s say we call that a push. Then you are looking at Sanders for either Johnson or Quick. I wouldn’t make either of those trades. This trade doesn’t seem to do anything for you.

              • Nikko says:
                (link)

                @malamoney: What do you think of this trade: Jeremy hill and Welker for his Ball and Decker. He is a big Broncos fan

                • malamoney

                  malamoney says:
                  (link)

                  @Nikko: Ball and Decker

  4. Jon smith says:
    (link)

    Who should I play D Jackson or L Fitzgerald

    • malamoney

      malamoney says:
      (link)

      @Jon smith: PPR? Either way, I’m going with Fitzgerald.

      • Jon smith says:
        (link)

        @malamoney:
        Thanx
        It seems as if he is jus a decoy..
        How bout D Woodhead or T Richardson.. As I sit I have Woodhead in

        • malamoney

          malamoney says:
          (link)

          @Jon smith: If it’s PPR I could see Woodhead. If not, I’m going Fitzgerald.

  5. Zandy says:
    (link)

    std league

    send doug/rainey and mike wallace for joique and roddy?

    • malamoney

      malamoney says:
      (link)

      @Zandy: Sounds about fair, but I might be concerned about Roddy and his bad hammy. Plus there seem to be a lot of other options for Matt Ryan in Atlanta (Julio, Douglas and Hester). Rainey’s fumbles troubled me on Thursday, but I think I might hold on this one.

  6. Steve says:
    (link)

    My other wr are d Thomas Jeffrey Cobb and Crabtree
    So didn’t need Allen and wanted Patterson upside
    Needed a rb
    Had Moreno and Ingram and Vereen
    Don’t need 2 TE and he is always hurt

    • malamoney

      malamoney says:
      (link)

      @Steve: You might have been able to get more for Cameron. Not a horrible trade, just not one that I’d make…

  7. zach says:
    (link)

    What would you do with Pitta and Witten? I have both and don’t really want either. I’m trying to trade Witten since I think he has more name value. Do I package him with a guy like Kendall Wright/Hakeem Nicks/Wes Welker to get a slight upgrade at WR?

    • malamoney

      malamoney says:
      (link)

      @zach: Sure, but that depends on your definition of “slight upgrade”. Who are you targeting?

      • zach says:
        (link)

        @malamoney: I was looking at Colston, Emmanuel Sanders, and maybe Victor Cruz. These are all guys on teams with bad tight ends.

        • malamoney

          malamoney says:
          (link)

          @zach: If you can turn either Nicks or Wright into Colston, Sanders or Cruz, DO IT!

          I’d hold onto Welker until we see how he does his first few games.

          As for the others I rank them: Sanders, Colston, Cruz, Wright and Nicks.

  8. allday says:
    (link)

    keeper league.

    le’veon/colston/edelman for frank gore/dez
    leveon/keenan allen/ t. gerhart for dez/f. gore

    montee ball/andre johnson for megatron

    toby gerhart for houstons D (haha toby gerhart is terrible)

    • malamoney

      malamoney says:
      (link)

      @allday: These are all subjective based on the rest of your roster and your keeper rules. But if I am basing it purely on the players involved:

      Dez, Dez, Megatron and Gerhart. I generally try and get the best player in the trade. Gerhart hasn’t looked good, but I’d take a starting RB over a DST most days of the week.

  9. Lemmingness says:
    (link)

    Standard league,

    Would you drop Randle and/or Hartline for James Jones/Sanu/Hawkins?

    Thanks a bunch

    • malamoney

      malamoney says:
      (link)

      @Lemmingness: Absolutely for Hawkins or Jones. Maybe for Sanu. I rank them Hawkins, Jones, Randle, Sanu and Hartline

  10. Joseph says:
    (link)

    I feel like I need an upgrade at WR only having: Sanders, Vincent Jackson, wheaton, and Decker. My RBs are Ball, Bell, Miller, Sankey, Donald brown, forcsett and McKinnon. There are two offers: Sammy Watkins and Donnie a very for Montee. Or I give Montee and Sanders for Ellington and Mike Wallace. Thoughts?

    • Joseph says:
      (link)

      @Joseph: Also, his Cobb for my Ball?

      • malamoney

        malamoney says:
        (link)

        @Joseph: I’d take Ball. Not to mention if you give up Ball I think you are leaving yourself thin at RB. After Ball and Bell you have a bunch of hopefuls. Miller will get a shot with Moreno out, but who knows what he will do with it and once Moreno returns…

        If you are dead set on upgrading at WR and have to trade Ball to do it, could you trade Ball and someone for Cobb and Ellington? And that someone cannot be Sanders.

    • malamoney

      malamoney says:
      (link)

      @Joseph: I would not make either of those trades. Ball and Bell are studs and they are your only RB studs. If you were going to move one, you’d want a stud WR in return, but I think you are fine.

  11. Yager says:
    (link)

    Who is the better flex start this week, Bradshaw or Tate…. Or would you just start Tate over Garcon. My two other receivers are Jeffrey & Megatron, so they are locked…
    Thanks for the help.

    • malamoney

      malamoney says:
      (link)

      @Yager: Bradshaw and Garcon

  12. Pete says:
    (link)

    I just watched the crane kick GIF loop above for literally 3 minutes straight. Thank you.

    • malamoney

      malamoney says:
      (link)

      @Pete: Anytime. Good luck today.

  13. Montezuma's Revenge... right now says:
    (link)

    this week only, across fantasy writers the answer to this is all over the place (Jaywrong is much higher on woodhead than anybody else, and lower on d.brown is mostly why). ridley vs woodhead vs miller? PPR league. could also go charles in this RB 2 slot this week, but i’m not trusting a dude with ankle sprain who shouldn’t even be playing and is just really likely to injure it worse and go out early,making this same decision go on each week for more than it should’ve in the first place. I agree completely with Jay’s ranking Charles below the other 3 of these.

    • malamoney

      malamoney says:
      (link)

      @Montezuma’s Revenge… right now: I think you have to go with Miller. I do like Woodhead in PPR, but Woodhead and Brown are going to cut into each other’s production. And figuring out which one will reach the end zone is likely a crap shoot. With the answer probably be Gates. Miller is going to be the man in Miami this week. Surprisingly he is averaging 4.7 yards per carry in his first 2 games, while the Chiefs are allowing 4 yards per carry. They have yet to allow a rushing TD, but I think Miller is still the safe play and I see him putting up 15 points. Good luck.

      • Montezuma's Revenge... right now says:
        (link)

        @malamoney: thanks. may the Triforce be with you.

  14. Montezuma's Revenge... right now says:
    (link)

    what about vereen vs miller in a different PPR league? in this question, there’s fantasy writer consensus of vereen as far as i can see.

    • malamoney

      malamoney says:
      (link)

      @Montezuma’s Revenge… right now: It’s next to impossible to figure out how Vereen will be used on a weekly basis. His status is also questionable. I expect he will play, but I am likely going with Miller as he should get more touches…

  15. goodfold2 says:
    (link)

    having all these RB in PPR (only can start exactly 2), rainey/vereen/s-jax/miller/mathews/d.will drop d. will or s-jax for blue or ingram?

    • malamoney

      malamoney says:
      (link)

      @goodfold2: If you had asked me before Thursday I would have said Rainey and Miller, but now that Rainey has already played, I’d go Miller and Vereen.

Comments are closed.