Wow. Inspired much? Scenes like that can make grown men weep (not speaking from experience). Luckily for me, Razzball doesn’t take things that seriously… mostly because I cry easily, and Jay can’t just threaten to take me out at any moment in time. Have you seen what’s been happening in the NFL? Razzball would cut him… aaaand Fantasy Sports Network would drop their sponsorship. That would be after a series of varying reports about him being suspended for 2 weeks, then fully reinstated, and then barred from fantasy sports writing altogether. Am I bitter about Adrian Peterson?  Nope (sarcasm). Let’s get on with it:



Ryan Fitzpatrick (10%) v NYG: Fitzpatrick [Jay’s Note: For future reference, Ryan Fitzpatrick’s actual name is Ryan Fitzmagic.] is currently second in the league in yards per attempt among QB’s averaging 8.4 YPA, and he’s completing over 68% of his passes. Fitzpatrick isn’t throwing for a ton of yards, but he’s being extremely efficient, and he’s already proven he can beat marginal (read: Washington Football Team, Raiders) defenses. An added bonus is the Texans aren’t afraid to call passes in the Red Zone. Don’t expect a plethora of yards, but count on passing TD’s (and this guys can still use his legs!)… and if he gives you 3 touchdown’s on Sunday, rejoice and be glad, for we will now call him Ryan FitzHatTrick.

Ryan Tannehill (41%) v KC: Two Ryan’s, One QB Pickup. Decisions, decisions. What we once thought would be a dominant Chiefs defense in 2014 has turned into a disappointment thus far. Their 5 sacks are misleading with 4 of them coming against Tennessee’s awful OL. Miami’s offensive line will offer much better protection for RyTan (can we make that stick?). Additionally, the Chiefs’ secondary hasn’t been playing well, and the loss of Eric Berry won’t help. That brings us to Tannehill. Last Sunday’s game became extremely pass-heavy after the loss of Moreno, and Tannehill still held his own. His receivers just need to hold onto the ball (7 drops over 80 attempts). At home, against a weaker opponent, I think you’ll see more of what we saw against the Patriots in Week 1.


Tight Ends

Jared Cook (15%) v DAL: Lining up in the slot, TE’s like Cook can take advantage of size and coverage mismatches. Cook has been in the slot almost two-thirds of the time he’s lined up, and 10 of his 12 targets have been from that position. That puts him at 3rd overall in slot targets behind Jimmy Graham and Delanie Walker, so he’s keeping good company. He also has a good matchup against Dallas, who just let up 142 yards and a TD to Walker last week.

Dwayne Allen (27%) v JAX: We all know how much Jay loves Dwayne Allen, and we all know Allen dropped a big fat goose egg on Monday night, but there’s still hope. Indy goes up against a Jacksonville defense that hasn’t been effective in defending tight ends AT ALL. Zach Ertz and Niles Paul tore up the Jaguars D in Weeks 1 and 2, respectively. Look for the same in Week 3. Allen has 2 red zone targets with 2 receptions and a TD on the season, while Coby Fleener has 1 target with 0 receptions and 0 TDs in the same situation (in case you’re deciding between the two). Luck favors Allen in the red zone (no pun intended), so I favor Allen in my lineup.


Defense & Special Teams

Baltimore (40%) v CLE: Even with the absence of the purple camo in the stands, Baltimore can get the better of Cleveland in this game. The Ravens have had a few extra days to prepare, since they played on TNF last week, and the Browns are coming off a pretty huge week. Not that the Browns really have “letdown weeks”… they’re more of “letdown seasons”… but let’s say this week has “letdown potential” after the last-minute heroics this past Sunday. Baltimore can slow down the run and force Hometown Hoyer to sling the ball around enough to where I think they’ll create some turnovers and get good pressure on him.   See the blurb on Cundiff below so I can further bore you with Ravens defensive stats!



Billy Cundiff (1%) v BAL: The Baltimore defense may not be what it used to be, but they’ve been successful in limiting the opposition’s scoring from 30 yards and in. They’ve prevented opposing teams from scoring a single touchdown, which has resulted in 6 field goals within this range. Cleveland isn’t exactly the electric offense we’re akin to seeing these days, so there’s a good chance Cundiff will have to bail out the Browns’ offense when they can’t convert.

Dan Carpenter (51%) v SD: He’s the highest scoring kicker right now… Why is he on the wire? If you’re looking for a more consistent kicking option, snag Carpenter, and maybe he’ll build you a nice pine bench for your other garbage kicker to sit on!


Week 2 Recap

Once again, I’m using the standard RCL scoring, which is Yahoo 0.5 PPR:

Jake Locker: 234 yds, 1 TDs, 2 INT = 12.26 pts (25th QB)

Alex Smith: 255 yds, 5 rush, 42 yds = 14.40 pts (19th QB)

Travis Kelce: 6 tgt, 4 rec, 81 yds = 10.10 pts (12th TE)

Brandon Myers: 2 tgt, 2 rec, 33 yds = 4.30 pts (28th TE)

MIA: 29 PA = -1.00 pts (T-31st DST)

TB: 19 PA, 2 sacks, 1 INT = 5.00 pts (T-14th DST)

Shaun Suisham: 1 20-29, 1 40-49 = 7.00 pts (17th K)

Mike Nugent: 1 30-39, 3 PATs = 6.00 pts (T-18th K) – Note: Nugent missed 3 FG’s, so the opportunities were there, he just didn’t convert…womp womp.


Catch me in the streets, or follow me on Twitter @Nicolas_Kern

  1. Joe says:

    Help me out with my Flex spots please? 1PPR, 12 team, (Jordy Nelson, Andre Ellington and Niles Paul are my starters)

    Pick 3 Flex:
    Kendall Wright
    Pierre Thomas
    Bobby Rainey
    Kevin Benjamin
    DeSean Jackson

    I also have Vernon Davis but it looks like he will be a risky play this week.

    • Nico says:

      @Joe: I’d go Thomas, Rainey, Benjamin. I like DJax’s upside this week, but there’s a chance he re-aggravates his shoulder and gets pulled early, so I might lay off.

  2. LT Murray IV

    Tehol Beddict says:

    I want to adopt a baby with you

  3. Randall says:

    The good news is these picks can’t possibly be worse than last week, so there’s that.

    • Nico says:

      @Randall: Tell me about it! Thanks for reading!

  4. The don says:

    Kirhy robinson or dobson in the flex?

    • Nico says:

      @The don: Robinson

  5. Nick says:

    Hey nico, I have Rainey, r Jennings & k Davis…I need 2…do I start Rainey tonight? I’m leaning yes as Charles practiced today and would result in benching k Davis (although I’m hesitant as I’m surprised Charles is already practicing with a high ankle sprain)…what do you think? Gotta set my lineup for tnts game asap!!

    • Nico says:

      @Nick: Yes, agreed!

  6. Braun Weasleys says:

    Made a mistake in drafting reggie bush… Ive been firing out trade offers before bell takes over even more.

    Was just offered:
    Demariyous Thomas and Hopkins
    for bush and jeffrey

    Thoughts in that trade and reggie bush’s ros outlook?

    • Nico says:

      @Braun Weasleys: I think I still like the Bush side. I see Bush still being a top 20 back RoS. If he could upgrade Hopkins a tick, it could sway me.

  7. Bobby says:

    Hmmm…thoughts on what happens when Ben Tate comes back? West has been pretty solid…does Tate take back the lead RB spot? Or do we end up getting the dreaded timeshare…

    • Nico says:

      @Bobby: Just shootin from the hip, I’d assume a 60/40 split for Tate/West when he returns.

  8. Smokey

    Smokey says:

    Sup Nico!!! in your world if you had to save one from a burning fire….Jerry Koosman or Emerson Boozer?

    • Nico says:

      @Smokey: Sorry Booze, but I’m saving Koos, man!

  9. schtickball says:

    victor cruz in my FA.

    is it worth dropping any of the following players for cruz?

    toby gerhart [rashad jennings & doug martin starters]
    joique bell
    martellus bennett [zach ertz starter]
    phillip rivers [matt ryan starter]

    thanks for any input!

    • Nico says:

      @schtickball: Not a huge fan of Cruz coming into this year, and still not overly excited about the Giants offense. I’d say keep an eye Martin’s status, and how this situation progresses, but I wouldn’t make any rash decisions. You have solid depth there.

  10. Adam says:

    I’m liking that Cook recommendation….might have to give him a shot this week.

    Auction league, +.5 PPR….messed up my RB situation at the draft, and now I’m choosing my starters from the likes of Fred Jackson, Donald Brown, and Darren McFadden. It’s not good.

    I was just offered Matt Forte for Calvin Johnson. My other WR are Brandon Marshall, Eric Decker, and Andrew Hawkins.Would you make this deal?

    • Nico says:

      @Adam: Do it!

    • Nico says:

      @Adam: Also, Cook will be high risk high reward. I wouldn’t be surprised if he scores 3 points this week but all signs point to him having a breakout-type game.

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