Not long ago I threw a bunch of pieces of scrap paper with random letters scribbled on them into my fedora. I then randomly drew fifty letters from the titfer. Next I conducted several ritual sacrifices to the fantasy gods, assembled those fifty illegible letters into twenty-five pairs and selected the first football player who came to mind with matching initials to compile my Top 25 Dynasty Rankings for 2020 Fantasy Football. And that’s the story of how Kerryon Johnson landed at #18 overall, as the readers pointed and mocked.  Of course, I’m kidding about this process. I don’t own a fedora, it used a baseball cap.

A week later I repeated the same exercise to compose my Top 50 Dynasty Rankings for 2020 Fantasy Football which landed Juju Smith-Schuster at #50 overall. And outrage ensued. The angry mob called for Donkey blood. So I quickly handed over my Top 75 and Top 100 Dynasty Rankings for 2020 Fantasy Football. But those only fueled the riots. “Put the rankings into one easy to view list,” they said. “We don’t need your stupid explanations and jokes,” they said. “You’re the ugliest Donkey we’ve ever seen,” they said.

So I withdrew into solitude for a couple weeks, rosterbating and meditating and then rosterbating more until finally I had another 100 arbitrary player names collated into one easy to read list for the bloodthirsty mob’s viewing pleasures. Anyway, here’s my updated top 200 dynasty rankings for 2020 PPR fantasy football leagues:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Strategy hardly ever changes for quarterbacks. Late round quarterback has been the way to go for quite some time in the fantasy football world. The last two seasons we had eruptions from late round quarterbacks Patrick Mahomes and Lamar Jackson. We even had a big late season showing from Jameis Winston who was being drafted outside of the top 10 of quarterbacks. Fantasy football seems so easy!

The difficulty always lies in finding the RIGHT late round quarterback. If you put your sleeper eggs into the Mitchell Trubisky basket, you probably found yourself drowning your sorrows in a bottle Malort. Ahh, Malort. My favorite Malort saying is, “It’s easier telling someone that you have nothing to live for.” 

Rookie quarterbacks are so exciting. There are always a few exciting new names to look closely at. I was extremely impressed watching Joe Burrow a couple of weeks back. We already know that Burrow is 99.99999% going to be a Cincinnati Bengal next year. Unless he decides to pull an Eli Manning and tells his agent that he would refuse to sign in a rust belt industrial purgatory. So assuming Burrow ends up smoking cigars in Cincinnati, the Bengals would be wise to improve their offensive line during free agency. The Bengals ranked 26th in the NFL in adjusted sack rate in 2019. 

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Now that I’ve given you my Top 25, Top 50 and Top 75 Dynasty Rankings for 2020 Fantasy Football, I’ll elaborate a little more on my general dynasty football philosophy. If you gathered some of the stale bread crumbs I left in the first three segments, you may have understood my philosophy to be one part L. Ron Hubbard, one part Antonio Brown and two parts Gordon Gekko. As the great Gekko once said, “I hate hockey and I don’t like kids.” Hmmm I think that’s the wrong quote from the Book of Gordon Quotes I got for Kwanzaa. That one may have been Gordon Bombay.

But getting back to the Gekko philosophy, I tend to look at my dynasty teams like investment portfolios. I tie my capital up in stable assets with upside—both at the draft and in season. This means I tend to fade the running back position. By nature, running backs aren’t stable due to the physical toll their work takes on the body and their greater dependence on offensive schemes, as well as the supporting cast around them.

Of course you won’t be winning your fantasy championship without at least a couple good RBs, so I focus the back end of my portfolio on a handful of growth or even penny stock backs with a chance to skyrocket into Phillip Lindsay or Raheem Mostert types. All of that said, there isn’t one ‘right way’ to invest. So acquire the players you believe in, build around them, and stay flexible in your views. Anyway, here’s my top 100 for 2020 dynasty football PPR leagues:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Welcome to Stat-o-Matic where we will look at some advanced stats around the NFL. As a disclaimer, I am using this space to play around with some numbers and present some interesting findings. But, by no means is this validated or predictive data. I hope that it will lead to meaningful discoveries or it could inspire you to go down your own rabbit hole. We’re going to explore together, crunch some numbers and see what pops out. Stats courtesy of PlayerProfiler.com.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

A quick google search tells me there’s only three predators capable of killing a Jaguar. The first is the anaconda—that big ass snake from the Jon Voight movie. The second is the caiman—these little gator looking guys in Mexico and South America. And the third, of course, is Derrick Henry—which makes sense because he looks a lot like a Predator. In week 13 last year, Henry took 17 carries for 238 yards and 4 touchdowns. I remember that game well because I was required to attend a 2.5 hour holiday lights trolley tour on that Thursday night which, to my surprise, turned out to be much more pleasant than watching Derrick Henry destroy my fantasy hopes and dreams before the week even started. Fast forward around 12 months, if you were playing against The Predator this week then I hope you also had a long Sunday afternoon holiday light trolley tour to attend. Henry rumbled for 159 yards on 19 carries plus another 16 yards on 1 reception and 2 touchdowns—he has 10 touchdowns on the season and is now under protest by PETA for his crimes against Jaguars.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw during yesterday’s late games in fantasy football:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Welcome to Stat-o-Matic where we will look at some advanced stats around the NFL. As a disclaimer, I am using this space to play around with some numbers and present some interesting findings. But, by no means is this validated or predictive data. I hope that it will lead to meaningful discoveries or it could inspire you to go down your own rabbit hole. We’re going to explore together, crunch some numbers and see what pops out. Stats courtesy of PlayerProfiler.com.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I used to put my trusty Coleman tent to work every summer. A group of college friends and I would gather for a long weekend of debauchery and mosquito bites. Eventually, after enough blood loss, we outgrew the authentic camping experience and upgraded to cabin glamping. Also, our old campsite not-so-politely asked us to never come back. Regardless, my Coleman tent hasn’t seen any use in recent years. That is, until yesterday, when Tevin Coleman helped me pitch a tent as he obliterated the Panthers defense with 11 carries for 105 yards, 2 catches for 13 yards and 4 touchdowns! Who do I call if my tent has been erect for over 24 hours? Anyway, here’s what else I saw during yesterday’s late games in fantasy football: 

Please, blog, may I have some more?

You have to love when two guys have career days and the starting percentages are probably pretty low on them. I say pretty low because I’m sure there were people in bad bye week spots or in deeper leagues that had to start Chase Edmonds or Marvin Jones Jr. Marvin Jones is a solid WR3 for fantasy but I don’t think that many were elated about slotting him in against the Vikings. For those that were savvy enough to start Jones Jr., he rewarded them with 10 catches, 93 yards and 4 touchdowns. That is a best ball format wet dream. In the leagues that I own Jones Jr., I can’t see myself leaving him on the bench again against the Giants next week. 

Chase Edmonds was a different type of situation. David Johnson was named active going into the game and he took one carry for 2 yards and didn’t touch the ball again for the rest of the game. I’m guessing that the majority of people that heard Johnson was active took Edmonds out of their lineup. Well, Edmonds carried the ball 27 times for 126 yards and 3 touchdowns. Incredible. Let’s get to some other performances from the early slate on Sunday.

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It was Aaron Rodgers‘ agent—Gabe, not that nice State Farm guy—who contacted the referees Monday morning with his very indecent proposal. “Illegal hands to the face,” Gabe whispered, “and be sure to delete those emails!” Trey Flowers and the Lions were the innocent victims of this elaborate conspiracy, with Flowers erroneously flagged twice in the 4th quarter as the officials gifted the game to the Packers. Final score: Lions 22 – Packers 13 – Refs 10. Anyway, here’s what else I saw Monday night in fantasy football: 

Please, blog, may I have some more?