We have finally reached the end of the slow burn that was the 2021 NFL season, the longest in history, but I am stoked for the playoffs. With the regular season in the books, It’s an opportune time to finish up the top 40. I will be putting out player ranking by position in the weeks to come. Players ranked 26-40 offer a great collection of talent, and a few of these stars will reach the top 25 next season, so this is a good group to get to know.

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I’m not sure what the record is for lowest word count in a published article at Razzball, but I get I can beat it. Here goes:

“Buy Javonte Williams. Sell Melvin Gordon.” – Kirksey

      – 30 – 

There really is no other way to spin what we saw on Sunday night for the Broncos. Javonte is the new sports car finally unleashed on the highway while Melvin Gordon is the old family mule, limping around in the back of the barn, waiting out the end of its days. 

Of course you want to buy Javonte Williams, especially like a game on Sunday, but the price tag now may be ultra prohibitive, especially in dynasty formats. I saw a lot of hot takes on Monday saying Javonte Williams is the new RB2 in dynasty behind only Jonathan Taylor. “Easy to refute,” I thought. But then I thought, and thought, and thought some more. Maybe Najee Harris. Maybe De’Andre Swift. Maybe Antonio Gibson. But it’s not as crazy as it sounds.

 

And Javonte has 101 fewer carries that Jonathan Taylor. Plunder the 401K, sell the Bitcoin, just do whatever it takes to buy Javonte Williams. 

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‘Tis the holiday season, which means it’s time to spread some love, warmth and cheer. It is also an opportunity for me to share one of my favorite holiday-themed jokes: What do you call 100 bras cut in half? 200 yarmulkes with chin straps! Get’s me every time. Similarly to a bra cut in half, fantasy assets are not always what they seem at first glance. You can’t judge today’s productivity of a particular item based off the usefulness of yesterday. Such is the story of a bra snipped in two, and such is the story of the players I’ll be discussing today. Some have had rather strong fantasy campaigns to date, while others have been quite underwhelming. But as we embark on Week 13, fantasy playoffs are drawing nearer and nearer, and managers need to begin plotting their strategy around which players will provide the most BOOM during that stretch of the season. For some leagues, the trade deadline may be in the rearview, but some owners may still have the ability to add stock in the names below as they eye up a deep playoff run. As I’ve said many times and will reiterate once again, I’m not here to help you build a playoff roster. I’m here to help you construct a championship team and bring home the hardware. Here is a short list of names that could help you do just that.

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Deep in the nacho cheese-smelling depths of NFL Headquarters somewhere under the Mojave Desert, one of the expert schedulers thought, “Russell Wilson vs Ryan Fitzpatrick…the Chef versus the Magician in Prime Time!” And then 2 months later Fitzmagic is benched for an undrafted QB who wasn’t in the league for two years…that’s Taylor Heinicke bee-tee-dubya. OK, the Magic Man is dealing with a messed-up hip, but it’s tough to argue that his NFL career isn’t over. Meanwhile, Russell Wilson broke a finger and the resulting surgery took him out of commission for a month. When he returned to action, Gordon Ramsey would have kicked him out of the kitchen immediately. In the two games since returning to the field, Wilson had completed a combined 51% of his passes with no TDs and 2 INT. With so many fantasy teams staring down the playoffs and one of the top quarterbacks failing, did we see a resurgence of Russ’ skills? Let’s check in to see how Monday Night Football went. 

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! Warning ! Your 2021 fantasy football season is on FINAL NOTICE. Otherwise meaning: your team is swirling down the crapper, spiraling more quickly thank my bank account after a fun-filled day spent at Chuck-E-Cheese, and you’re desperately in need of that one (maybe two?) player to save you from permanent destruction. Now, there’s this scene in New Girl where Nick shows Jess his box of overdue bills, which he hides in the closet — a place where he puts things he doesn’t want to have to deal with. Heading into Week 11, do not let your fantasy roster become a hidden box of overdue bills. Get the box out. Read the writing on the wall (in the letter). Take a stand and do something about it. Target the right players. Don’t waste a waiver claim on the guy who will save you for one week, rather, go big on the one name that could turn your entire season around. In this segment, I’ll detail seven players who hold the potential to flip the switch your 2021 fantasy football season. Many of these names have been discussed in this week’s waiver column, but as I’ll discuss later, not every waiver add has rest-of-season relevance. These players aren’t so much league winners, as they are league savers. 

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Welcome to Week 10, ladies and gentlemen. 

We’ve reached a real impasse here over the halfway mark of the NFL season. Major stars are down, breakout players are rolling, and Mike White is a starting quarterback in the NFL. The draft wouldn’t be further behind us and our expectations have been subverted every step of the way. This is where winners are made and losers are born. 

Tuesday’s gone with the wind. And we’re coming up hard on Sunday morning. 

Anyway! The teams on bye this week are the Bears, Giants, Bengals, and Texans. See ya next week!

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I was working in the lab, late one night. When my eyes beheld an eerie sight. For my monster on his slab began to rise and suddenly to my surprise… He did the Mash. The Monster Mash

Just take these wise words in for a moment. Breathe them in. The monster… he did the mash. And don’t we all do the mash sometimes, much to the chagrin and sometimes excitement to our contemporaries? Yes, even sometimes it will truly be a “graveyard smash”. 

What was this section about? Oh uh Halloween injury report. Right. There was a thread here but I got carried away in the poetry of Bobby “Boris” Pickett & The Crypt Kickers (Side note: Here’s a great TV performance of Bobby Pickett doing the Monster Mash, a real masterclass in making really weird faces and being a weirdo).

The teams who will have some extra trick-or-treating time on bye this week are the Ravens and the Raiders. See ya next week! 

Let’s get into this week’s horror show!

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Ah yes. Week 7. It’s so easy to look over this slate of games and think: “huh. This seems like a boring week”. This might be partially influenced by watching superstars Teddy Bridgewater and Case Keenum face off in an extremely boring game in Cleveland. And listen, you’re probably right. The favorites might just sweep the board and we may experience the most lopsided and dull day in NFL history. But how many times have you really seen that EVER happen? That’s right, it’s always any given Sunday, baby. 

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I see you there with your lone win, maybe two, and you are starting to worry. This is not at all how you thought the season was going to go when you were drafting back in August. The real fear is starting to sink in of completely missing the playoffs and having to play for your league’s last place trophy, which is probably some horrid garden ornament you must display in your home every day through the following season. I am here to tell you, there options and you guessed it, we are looking towards the silver screen for inspiration. When John Cassavetes’ acting career was in trouble in Rosemary’s Baby he reached out to his neighbors for help, but now he must help raise that baby and apparently something is wrong with his eyes. You could always see your local Godfather for some trade assistance and a deal no one could refuse, but horseheads are in short supply these days. Then again, it is probably better to buckle down and focus on fielding the best lineup you can. Allow me to be of assistance with this week’s waiver wire recommendations.

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Is it me or are a lot of guys injured? Normally, I’d have some little cutsie intro to get into the carnage but sheesh, man! I don’t know about you but I’m getting killed out here! I actually sprained my right knee on a fishing boat last weekend and was listed as limited but here I am, dammit.

When I see the players I roster in person someday, I’m gonna tell them: If I can man up and type up a bunch of nonsense about fake football with a ligament injury, well then YOU GOTTA PLAY TOO, YOU BIG BABY!

As you can tell, this has been a tough week. Between my injury, all the injuries on my fantasy teams, and what’s happening to my Raiders… Well, we’ll get into that last part later.

And to add to the prevailing roster chaos we have our first bye week of the year! See you next week Jets, Falcons, 49ers, and Saints!

Let’s segue right into Sunday morning with an Intra-Florida showdown in London.

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Ah, do you smell that in the air? No, it’s not the sweet hoppy smell of the IPAs flowing at Urban Meyer’s Pint House. No, that’s the smell of Football Sunday… and the smell of torn tendons and pulled hammys. That’s gotta hurt! Still probably can’t hurt as bad as I’m sure many of you out there in the ether are with depleted rosters. God bless the poor souls playing Davis Mills this week. You will be in my prayers. 

Anyway, let’s dive into this week’s injury headlines hot off the presses!

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October is upon us and thus the gates of all things spooky have opened. Although no living room werewolf transformation or demon spawned baby can match the terrors on the field this past week. No, I am not talking of the awkward non-hug between Tom Brady and Bill Belichick at the end of Sunday night’s dark and stormy game. I am speaking of the gruesome injuries, quarterback play which may require an old priest and a new priest to fix, and once thought done players seemingly rising from the dead. Things are getting downright strange in the fantasy football neighborhood, so who we gonna call? Waiver Wire!

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