As we head into draft season, everyone loves making their sleeper list and dreaming of being in on the next Austin Ekeler. However with all the chatter on social media and the endless stream of fantasy websites, “sleepers” have almost become extinct. There is no such thing as a mid-to-late round guy that no one is excited about. All your favorite sneaky plays are also your friends’ sneaky plays. Therefore you’ll have to reach up and take one a round early, which renders the pick less valuable.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Deep in the hills of Los Angeles, there is a sacred space of learning that the kids call, “UCLA.” For those not familiar with the nature of university, it is like a bank where you can keep borrowing money no matter how bad your report card is. On the outskirts of UCLA, there is a junction where students spend their borrowed money. Hip shoppers stop at the Whole Foods, put their Chase Sapphire cards into a point-of-sale machine, and smile with maskless glee as the POS takes nine bucks from their account for a single watermelon. Across the street, there’s an In-N-Out, where students shout “ANIMAL STYLE” and wait for their slathered beef like it was the first co-ed on screen in a slasher film.
In the winter, the Rose Bowl celebrates the imagined paradise that is California: the orange groves, the rose gardens, the summer nights on the beach with a Mai Tai. The RazzBowl, however, celebrates the real paradise that is California: Raiders Chargers Rams greasy burgers and expensive watermelons. And just like your friends want you to come out for one more $15 Mai Tai before taking the Uber to your dad’s condo, the RazzBowl wants you on board for the wildest ride in fantasy football.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Have you ever seen the show Alone on the History Channel? It’s a wilderness competition to see which contestant is able survive the longest in severe climates with no food and very few supplies. There’s no camera crew, each contest is responsible for filming all their own footage so they’re legit alone out there. A new season just started and *spoiler alert* one of the guys found an old boat which he repurposed into a hot tub by filling it with water and starting a fire underneath the hull. Man’s genius knows no bounds. Point of this tangent is I’m that guy. I’m out here alone in cold, ranking Austin Ekeler, Miles Sanders and Kenyan Drake acres ahead of the rest of the fantasy world. It’s alright though, I’m chilling over here in my homemade boat tub sipping on some juniper tea. Anyway, I went over most of these guys in my overall top 10 for 2020 fantasy football, but I won’t make you click—only click if you really want more nonsense—because here’s my top 10 running backs for 2020 PPR fantasy football with projections:Please, blog, may I have some more?
I usually try and come up with witty and/or euphonious titles for my pieces. Then I open the door, wine and dine, and provide copious amounts of foreplay for my loyal and content-thirsty audience. Today, though, it’s all about the business, so no fooling around.
FADE AUSTIN EKELER!Please, blog, may I have some more?
The build up to the 2020 NFL Draft was like waiting for Christmas morning as a child, the release of Game of Thrones Season 8 as an adult and the return of Taco Bell’s Nacho Fries as a stoner, all at once. But alas the excitement of the draft has come and gone. Giants fans were left wondering what might have been if their GM figured out how to use a computer, Bears fans were left wondering what it feels like to make a good draft pick and fantasy football fans were left wondering when Donkey Teeth’s 2020 fantasy football rankings would be released. Sorry Giants and fellow Bears fans, I have no answers for you, but fantasy fans you’re in luck. It’s redraft rankings season! All of my 2020 dynasty football rankings have already been released, dissected and judged as terribly inadequate. Anyway, here’s my top 10 for 2020 fantasy football:
Just kidding! Tricked you again! First, I’m contractually obligated to plug my wildly popular new YouTube show called Fantasy Football Malpractice with myself (Dr. Donkey Teeth) and The Boof. Episode two was released earlier this week where we discuss NFL in the COVID Era, drafting for upside and some of our worst takes from 2019. Watch, subscribe, comment and click that thumbs up dealie if you don’t hate us too much!Please, blog, may I have some more?
Donkey Teeth and B_Don reconvene to discuss DT’s dynasty RB ranks. Of course, any discussion with Donkey about running backs has to include some Kerryon Johnson.
The guys are split on a number of running backs including Joe Mixon, Melvin Gordon, and Austin Ekeler. DT gives us his case for Jonathan Taylor as a top 10 dynasty RB, and why he hates Marlon Mack.
We take a look at the Cardinals situation for this year and beyond before jumping into some late round guys and 2019 rookies that people may be ready to throw into the garbage pile. Stay tuned for the end as DT has an exciting announcement (that he almost forgot) about a new platform coming to Razzball Football!Please, blog, may I have some more?
And now after I have teased you with 2 days of WR rankings, it’s time for the pièce de résistance: rookie RBs! Nothing has the potential to shift a fantasy league like a freshman RB who finally gets hot come playoff time. We saw with David Johnson in 2015, Alvin Kamara in 2017, Nick Chubb in 2018 and Miles Sanders a year ago.
If you’ve been following my offseason process, you know what I look for when ranking prospects. If you are a first timer please check out this article explaining my general rationale.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Last week, Matthew Berry released his early top 10 RB ranks. Before I get into them, I’m not in the business of bashing Berry. I don’t think he’s the worldwide leader (get it?) for fantasy football analysis but he means a lot to the community, no matter who you are. We are many months away from a single snap of pigskin, so I’ll take the rankings with a grain of salt and just as a conversation starter. And a conversation starter it was. David Johnson as a top 10 RB? Is there a new RB named David Johnson that I’m unfamiliar with? Anyone who has David Johnson as a top 10 let alone a top 15 running back in 2020 has a typo on their 2016 tape of him and it was marked 2019 on accident.
Since a standard league at ESPN is PPR, I’m assuming that this is a PPR list. The rest of his list is pretty standard. He has the regular top 4 of Christian McCaffrey, Dalvin Cook, Saquon Barkley, and Ezekiel Elliott. The rest of the list rounds out like this: Alvin Kamara, Derrick Henry, Aaron Jones, Austin Ekeler, and of course, David Johnson. I’m not sure about the order that I would have my top 10 going into 2020, except that I will probably have Austin Ekeler over Aaron Jones. But I do know that as of now, Miles Sanders will be a top 10 PPR back for me.Please, blog, may I have some more?
The 2020 NFL Draft Combine has come and gone. Here’s what we learned: Henry Ruggs isn’t slow, two large trees were killed in the making of A.J. Dillon’s legs, Jonathan Taylor is THE MAN, and eight large deep dish pizzas (Pequods-only) in three days is too much for any one donkey. So now what? First, I’ll probably need to go to the gym to work off these 30 extra combine-pizza-pounds. But you’re here for fantasy football discussion, not updates on Donkey’s rapidly deteriorating physical and mental health. Well, our 2020 Dynasty and Rookie Rankings are now being populated and updated frequently, and B_Don is plowing thru the film on his 2020 NFL Draft Previews. I went over my top 20 and top 40 dynasty running backs last week and made a couple minor post-combine tweaks once the dust settled (insert Jonathan Taylor eggplant emoji). Anyway, here’s my top 60 running backs for 2020 PPR dynasty football:
Disclaimer: If you’re sensitive to ridiculously high rankings of Kerryon Johnson, don’t scroll too far.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Have you stocked up on disposable N-95 masks, canned goods and lotion yet? Oh, you don’t think you’ll need a stockpile of lotion for what’s coming? Once I’m in self-quarantine, here’s how I picture my daily routine:
12:00 AM – 6:00 AM: Dream About Kerryon Johnson MVP season(s)
6:00 AM – 9:00 AM: Eat Pancakes
9:00 AM – 12:00 AM: Rosterbate to my Dynasty Teams
Needless to say, my lotion supply is locked and loaded. Speaking of locked and loaded, check out all of our 2020 Fantasy Football Dynasty and Rookie Rankings! I went over my top 20 dynasty running backs (full list at bottom of this post) earlier this week between visits to the lotion dealer; yes, I’m still irrationally high on Kerryon Johnson and crystal meth. Anyway, here’s my top 40 running backs for 2020 PPR dynasty football:Please, blog, may I have some more?