Just north of Chicago, Fermilab was one of the most important sites in the Manhattan Project, which resulted in the development of the first atomic bombs during World War II. Throughout the Cold War, the particle accelerator at Fermilab crashed protons together at speeds nearing that of light, and scientists investigated their interactions to learn the deepest secrets of the universe. With research budgets under attack, the scientists at Fermilab brought in the top minds from Japan to work with the local businesses — namely the Chicago Bears — to study the deepest secrets of quarterbacks. With some of the nuances of English lost in translation, many of the Japanese scientists said they had unlocked the energy that would bring success to the Bears’ franchise quarterback. The report they drew up was titled, “Big Mitch Power.” 

But there was a group of dissenting scientists who argued that “Big Nick Power” was the secret to the Bears’ success in 2020. They kept pointing to the salary of the Bears’ backup quarterback, Nick Foles, as the proof that the incumbent Trubisky was indeed a “Little Mitch.” Meanwhile, Big Nick Power had the arm and the salary to justify his stature as the Bears starting quarterback going forward. 

Until Week 3, it was unknown whether Bears’ head coach Matt Nagy was concerned about his QB being a “Little Mitch,” but when Trubisky failed to inspire the Bears offense during their matchup against the Falcons, Nagy indeed outed himself as a believer in Big Nick Power. 

Please, blog, may I have some more?

You ever watch that move Napoleon Dynamite? Come on, you’re looking at advanced statistics for your imaginary football team — I KNOW you’ve got that movie on DVD and a “Vote for Pedro” shirt sitting non-ironically in your closet. ENYWHEY, there’s the character of Uncle Rico, who kept taking film of himself throwing a football in an effort to chuck it over a local mountain or grain field or really, just about any object that could be placed in front of him. Now, after the complete decimation that your fantasy football team received in week 2, are you thinking, nay, hoping that some team will sign Uncle Rico so he can bring his swagger and dynamite — see what I did there? — arm to your favorite team? Well, worry not! Blake Bortles has come back! Undrafted free agent Nick Mullens is taking the field! Taysom Hill is making $8 million to be the third best quarterback on the Saints and he’s completed 6 passes in his NFL career. And Kaep is still on the outside. At this point, let’s give Uncle Rico a shot. Heck, Gardner Minshew is 90% Uncle Rico DNA. Fingers crossed no more QBs get hurt in Week 3, otherwise you should be gearing up to start Dwayne Haskins in your next DFS hot taek.  

Please, blog, may I have some more?

There is not much going on after one week of the regular season. All we really know so far is that with all the player safety concerns over head injuries and leg injuries don’t compare to the danger of collarbones. We have to hope they don’t try to legislate these hits out as well. Otherwise it will really turn into flag football. With all this being said, you should really not want to make any trades after Week 1. But if you do, or if someone in your league is panicking, here are some players you might want to grab cheap or sell high.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

We are one day away from draft night and I cannot wait. Who do you have your team taking with their first pick? If you are like me, you are consuming all of the NFL content to keep you satisfied until the regular season kickoff. Your teams have reported for offseason activities, the 2019 regular […]

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Hey y’all.  Please note that where fantasy position ranks are cited: they were pulled from www.pro-football-reference.com’s NFL Fantasy Rankings. Also note that these are non-PPR rankings.  This list only includes Un-Restricted Free Agents (UFAs), it does not include Exclusive Rights Free Agents (ERFAs) or Antonio Brown (We can rank Tony once we see if his QB is going to be future HOFer Big Ben or future Gym Teacher Blake Bortles or someone in between, but don’t think either spot or any in between really changes his value much).

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Hey everyone, and welcome back to another Start ‘Em, Sit ‘Em post! I hope everyone had a great and safe Thanksgiving, so let’s break down Week 12!

Let’s get to it!

*Note* – My Week 12 Rankings can be found here, and be sure to check out Rudy’s projections for this week here!

*Note* – I won’t be including the “studs” in any of my “Start” columns. You should always start Aaron Rodgers, Todd Gurley, or Antonio Brown!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Have you ever shared custody of a dog with an ex-spouse or girlfriend/boyfriend? Prayfully not, my goodmen, but surely you know some poor sod who takes part in this sad and pathetic lifestyle, someone you look down upon with shame as if they were a lower form of human life. As if they, well, you know, thought sharing a dog with an ex was a solid idea. If you didn’t know someone before, you do now!! ME, Beddict, former Commander and Chief of the Players club, himself, somehow buried in this game like a rotting  casket. How did we (me) get here? There is not enough battery left in my MacBook Air (Lap top in laymen terms), to tell that tale, and thank the Elders for that, but I’ll whack ya with a few deets, just in case you want to get your beak wet…..I don’t even know what that means. 

Anyway, I have five dogs total, two with my ex in Seattle, and three with my last girlfriend in New Orleans. NOLA won’t actually speak to me, either because she despises me, that or she’s being respectful to her strange new emo- King Fiancé. All I know, is that when I stalk her Instagram every night, I NEVER SEE MY BABY JILLIAN!!! I see the other two angels, but little Jillie bean is nowhere in sight…Hmmmm, anyway, I HAD five dogs scattered across the country like dust in the wind, six if you count the dog that was mine that I gave to my Mom 14 years ago. He was so handsome, I say, “WAS,” for he was tragically killed three weeks ago, ON MY BIRTHDAY, ruining my day and in a way, my life. So I suppose we’re back to five, four if Jillian is no longer among the breathing. This led to my first ex sweetly offering to “ALLOW” me to see our two dogs for a week or so, since she felt so awful about Q-ball being run over on my birthday and all. We weren’t on speaking terms so I thought this to be a truly grand gesture of kindness………Alas, life only allows pleasant emotions for short periods of time before ripping them out with rusty machete. One week turned into 10 days, and it also turned out that she was getting married and just had nowhere else to leave the dogs since they’re too old to be left at any kennel. Married to the friend zone king who had stalked her our entire relationship, you know the type. Shit, some of you probably are the type. For me to properly draft the proper amount of ratchetness involved would take the last remaining splinters of my soul, and that, guys/gals, is too much to ask. Even of me. 

What am I going on about? This is a fantasy sports website. But isn’t that why you love (Despise) me? Below are my thoughts on this past week’s NFL games. Take heed!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Is it not the most awkward damn trolley you’ve ever seen? That it will be on display in Buffalo of all places with a decent chance of vandalism in the forecast for it only makes me more excited for the Pats blowout of the Bills on MNF. While Booger rails against logic and analytics throughout the broadcast and Jason Witten bumbles through introductory 3rd grade math, there is a non-0% chance a member of the #BillsMafia will make a leap of faith from the stands onto the #BoogerMobile. But before that game takes place, there are a couple from the Sunday slate that are worth looking at.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

OPE! As we say here in the Midwest. I almost forgot to turn in my week 8 rankings for your Wednesday morning viewing pleasure. I found time in between dipping fried foods in buttermilk ranch and harvesting corn and soybeans to give you what I have for this week. 

With the trade deadline coming up, weekly rankings could get rather interesting in the next couple of weeks. We already have Amari Cooper moving to Dallas from Oakland and that will be a wait and see kind of thing. At least he has a bye week to work with Prescott and learn the playbook. I view it right now as a pretty lateral move for fantasy football purposes. If the Jaguars want to become relevant again this season, don’t they need a quarterback upgrade? Is somebody willing to pay a hefty price for a Le’Veon Bell rental? We will find out after week 8. Here are this week’s rankings.

Please, blog, may I have some more?