TomCoughlinface

Because of the bye period (which sounds like a LIT-History course at a San Francisco community college) and a frighteningly exciting game (for those of you who were awake) in London, we only have two games this afternoon. The first is my Chargers taking on the Raiders, or the RAIIIIIIIDAAAAAAAHHHHS if you like the cut of Chris Berman’s jib, and seeing as how I highlighted the Chargers afternoon match-up against the Packers last weekend, today’s focus will be on the always derp-filled NFC East rivalry between the Dallas Cowboys and New York Giants. I have to say, I remember when the NFC East used to be fondly referred to the “NFC Beast”, mainly because of the division’s focus on the running game and building a team to win in the trenches. Of course, Washington was terrible during this period as well, but little did anyone know at the time that this long-forgotten strategy would be twisted and manipulated and morphed over time into what we have today. The complete opposite. But one things for sure… Washington… Washington never changes. Today’s game once again features a battle for first place, something I’ve been mentioning the past five weeks for any NFC East team, seeing as how no team actually wants it. So how will the Cowboys and Giants end up both losing today? (More possible than you think.) Let’s find out!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Greetings! I’d like to start by informing you that my doctor prescribed me Wellbutrin, which is a mild anti-depressant, but can also help with A.D.D. (which I have in the worst way). I don’t believe in taking adderall, as it’s just another form of meth, and your boy is stimulant free (other than herbal viagra). I’ve only been taking it for two weeks thus far, but it’s totally changed my life and in multiple ways at that. Not only am I more focused than ever, as I wrote this post in record time (yes, I wrote this part last), but I’ve reached the type of mental zone that I’ve only once witnessed before, and that was Bradley Cooper in Limitless. Not only do these magic blue pills make me feel better about leaving the world of modeling to become a fantasy sports writer, but I’m not busting nuts like the Steamboat Geyser. I kid you not, this shizz is incredible!  I can’t lie to ya, I’m feelin myself like Mac Dre right now, and I pray to the Elders I never lose this feeling, for I fully believe, at this moment, that I can take on the entire world and become the most famous fantasy sports writer that ever lived… Until I crash anyway, then I’ll be back in the gutter, begging sloppy drunk chicks to take me home for a hot bath and a TV dinner. I’ll let you be the judge, but, uhhhh, watch the video after the jump to see how I feel right now.

I am Tehol Beddict and this Start ‘Em, Sit ‘Em! TAKE HEED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My rankings have been updated and can be found here.

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Please, blog, may I have some more?

Last week’s boom or bust plays busted all over my screen. Andrew Luck goes for 354 and 4 TD’s without giving any love to Donte Moncrief. Oh good grief! The Colts talk him up, and then fail to pass the memo onto Mr. Luck… and all of us who played him got fu*ked. Oh well, we move on and get ourselves ready for Week 10. There are a lot of flex-filled teams on the bye this week, and I’ll be honest, I’m having trouble putting a positive spin on it. The Colts, Texans, Vikings, Patriots, Washington Football Team and Chargers are all chillin’ on sofas this weekend, leaving us scrambling to the wire or calling up a”stash” on our bench to fill the void.

Please, blog, may I have some more?