Opening the week as the highest over/under of the season at 55.5, HOU @ KC now sits as the tied-for-2nd highest point total in 2019 at 55. A clash between offenses that rank #4 (KC) and #9 in points per game. Poorly buried by the NFL in the early slate of games, everyone get their popcorn ready early this Sunday. Both teams rank in the top 10 in total offensive plays ran this season, #3 KC and #8 HOU, and find their way onto this weeks shootout game preview.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Hey y’all.  Please note that where fantasy position ranks are cited: they were pulled from www.pro-football-reference.com’s NFL Fantasy Rankings. Also note that these are non-PPR rankings.  This list only includes Un-Restricted Free Agents (UFAs), it does not include Exclusive Rights Free Agents (ERFAs) or Antonio Brown (We can rank Tony once we see if his QB is going to be future HOFer Big Ben or future Gym Teacher Blake Bortles or someone in between, but don’t think either spot or any in between really changes his value much).

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Sometimes when you stream, you get House of Cards season 1, but sometimes you get Fuller House. We hope that our rosters are set at this point in the season, but injuries and bad match-ups happen and you may be scrambling around looking for streaming options and hopefully I can at least reach Netflix Arrested Development level with these recommendations for this week.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Streaming on a Team Plan

All my teams are packed

I’m ready to go

I’m standing here waiting for Thursday

I hate to wake you up to say goodbye

But your playoffs are breakin’

It’s early no more

The teams awaiting

He’s blowin his own horn

Already I’m so lonesome atop

I could die (if I lose)

But I’m streaming on a team plan

Don’t know when I’ll ever lose again

Oh babe, I hate to lose

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I apologize for not being able to write an Ambulance Chasers last week — I was questionable going into Wednesday when I write this article, but it quickly turned to doubtful as the day went on. I tried going to my big boy job, but had to leave early Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. I’m unfortunately and nerdily allergic to cough/cold medicines so every time I get sick it hits really hard and I just have to ride it out.

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Welcome back, my Lovelies, to another e-rousing week of Hit it or Quit it, with Yours Truly, your Goddess of innuendo. Although I want to say that I took a pounding this week, I am happy to say that it was not in Fantasy Football. Hey, you have your hobbies, and I have mine. Your Goddess went a respectable 4-1 this week, with that one loss being the sacrificial Razzball Contributor’s Black Widow League in which I opted to play the submissive, rather than the Dominatrix (I save that for my other leagues). Sometimes we all have to make sacrifices and this time I opted to throw my body upon the pyre and only pick up those I write about in that league, so I can give you firsthand experience. Alas, that league is a pathetic 0-for and it really sticks in my throat since those of you who know me know that I hate to lose. So, I opt to drown out the memory with whiskey…lots and lots of whiskey.

The curse spared me this week. How did you fare? That being said, Leonard Fournette has been sitting deep in the closet in one of my leagues and I am dying to whip him out and have some fun. Only the Black Widow knows when and if that will happen. In the meantime, I am making due with the lovely specimens which are coming my way via my other leagues. Guys, look, I honestly take no pleasure in whipping the Holy sh** out of you in your leagues week after week, but it is what you pay for, and I am a woman of the people, so…Oh, who am I kidding, I absolutely LOVE beating the Holy sh** out of you week after glorious week. It does more for me than the array of toys in that special box under my bed, and that is really saying something.

Ok, I know, I seem to be rambling while I bask in the Week 6 slain carcasses which lay before me and you didn’t pay extra for the emasculation this week, so I will move on and get to what brought you here. Ladies and Gentlemen, Convicts and Perverts, your wait is over. I give you Week 7, Hit it or Quit it.

Please, blog, may I have some more?