Like Shooting Fisher in a Barrel

November 21, 2016 | 2016 Fantasy Football, 2016 News & Notes | 96 Comments

Granted, there are many times when the lede’s topic is about the Sunday Night Football game, but sometimes I like to shake things up a bit. If only because there some really annoying things about it, ranging from Cris Collinsworth not taking a vacation in Syria, to the lazy, league approved narratives for everything, all the way to being reminded that NBC’s dramas are still being made. So sometimes, I just need a breather, ya know? And plus, if there’s an opportunity to make fun of the a Jeff Fisher led team, you know I’m going to take it, no questions asked. If you’re new to the site, I’ll give you a brief synopsis of my own personal feelings towards Fisher. You know how the words “winless” and “undefeated” exist? There should be a word for “being two games under .500”, and I think that word should be: JeffFisher. Here, let’s put it in a sentence: “People keep saying that Todd Gurley is regressing to the JeffFisher, but I really just think it’s because the offense is sh*t.” And now we have the first career game from Jared Goff, and it looked about as bad as we were expecting. And I gotta tell you, I lived in Los Angeles for almost five years… this is not the best way to grow a fan base. Not only is Fisher challenging the patience of Rams fans, but also men’s hair fashions. And also my ability to come up with a third thing, but I think you get the point…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Who Are These Guys, Week 16, Un-BEAR-able

by: malamoney

There would be no other proper way to begin this rant than by saying the four words that are screaming to be ejected from my mouth. Ef you Jay Cutler! What a bag of dog excrement. I don’t know him personally, and he might be a good dude to slam beers with (doubtful), but as far a quarterbacks are concerned, he can just go away. I’m sick of all the “Jay Cutler is a top quarterback” talk that I’ve heard for the past few seasons. He’s not.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Start ’em and Sit ’em, Week 5: Davis’ Cup Runneth Over

October 4, 2014 | 2014 Fantasy Football, Roster Strategy | 34 Comments

by: SethDaSportsMan

“Start ’em and Sit ’em” was on hiatus last week as I made my way to Boston to catch Derek Jeter’s farewell game on Sunday. Things went well. Some random dude gave us a free parking pass when we were driving up to Fenway, Jeets got a hit in his last at bat, and I even caught a foul ball.

So did you miss me? (You’re supposed to say, “yes”). I’ll just assume you did, and we can all move on. Fantasy football didn’t stop for me just because I didn’t put out a Week 4 column. I never got off the saddle — well, maybe once to enjoy a warm bowl of chowdah. Hopefully you survived that hectic week of byes, and let’s keep on, keepin’ on to Week 5…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Start ‘em and Sit ‘em, Week 4: A Rivers Runs Through It

September 27, 2014 | 2014 Fantasy Football, Roster Strategy | 82 Comments

by: malamoney

This week I’ve been tapped to fill in for Seth and write the “Start ’em and Sit ’em” column. Those that have read my Stats Machine posts will know that I think projections are for the birds. I am more of a “by the numbers” kind of guy. I rely on statistics to make my points and fantasy sports decisions. I believe that making “gut” decisions is the recipe for failure, but maybe that’s because I’m gutless. Or was it heartless. I forget.

By no means do I profess to be an expert in this realm, so with the help of some number crunching, I have targeted the players that have good match-ups and those that do not and present them to you as my start ’em, sit ’em’s of the week…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Betting with Beddict, Week 3: Momma Said There’d be Days Like This

September 20, 2014 | 2014 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Buy/Sell | 56 Comments

by: LT Murray IV

Welcome to the first official installment of Betting With Beddict. Exciting, I know. Last week, I included my picks for the week and was obliterated, going 5-11. Since it wasn’t an official BWB post, we shouldn’t count it. Am I right or am I right? Or am I right? Obviously, I don’t, or wouldn’t bet on each and every single game, as that’s for the rich and stupid. Beddict is in the stay-rich business, and what hurts the most is that the three teams I believed in most of all totally let me down. I believed Seattle [Jay’s Note: LOL], San Fran, and Miami to be full on locks, and was quickly humbled like Ray Rice when thousands of fans lined up to return their Rice jerseys on Friday… or like Christian Slater when he tries to go straight into nightclubs through the VIP line and gets choke slammed and left convulsing on the concrete. Sports gambling is a roller coaster, and if you’re truly taking it seriously, you can’t do what I did a few years ago and just starting betting on every single sporting event that’s going to be on TV. Don’t go there, trust me. I ended up in small village in Nicaragua, sucking the toes and taint of a drug lord’s wife, only so he’d spare my life. After completing my 3 year bid of red eye punching, I returned to the states and usually only picked a few games to throw down on, but you’ll get my take on every game and hopefully it helps you out in some way shape or form. As a bonus, my posts are extremely entertaining (debatable), so at the very least, you’re getting an extra serving of Beddict, and that’s nothing to turn your nose up at.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Waiver Wired, Week 3: Don’t be in De-Knile about this Chief

September 16, 2014 | 2014 Fantasy Football, Waiver Wire | 59 Comments

by: Andrew Nordmeier

It’s time to run to the waiver wire and put your claim in for Kansas City running back Knile Davis. Star running back and first-round pick Jamaal Charles left the loss at Denver in the first quarter with an ankle sprain and didn’t return. Davis took the field and had 79 yards and two touchdowns on 22 carries. He added a pair of catches as well, and looked sharp. Davis could be a starter on some other running-back hungry teams and he should be on your fantasy roster this week. Charles (sprained ankle) looks to be questionable at best for this week against Miami. He’s been diagnosed with the dreaded high ankle sprain, and Davis should capitalize on it. The Dolphins are giving up 101 yards a game on the ground so the opportunity is there for Davis. The week after, it’s a Monday night tilt at New England (122.5 yards per game) for the Chiefs. Week 5 is a brutal matchup at San Francisco. We know how tough they are to run on, hunh Matt Forte? It wouldn’t make sense for the Chiefs to bring back Charles to get pounded into ground chuck before the team’s bye week on Week 6.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Start ’em and Sit ’em, Week 2: Fire up Philly in Farmland

September 13, 2014 | 2014 Fantasy Football, Roster Strategy | 89 Comments

by: SethDaSportsMan

Thank god I don’t do these posts till Saturday, because you wouldn’t have liked my advice had I included Thursday night’s players into my start/sits. Everyone knows that Thursday Night Football is a curse for fantasy players. Even Peyton Manning has fallen victim to it. In the final TNF game of the 2013 season, Manning had arguably his worst performance of the year, completing just 65.8 percent of his passes for 289 yards in the Broncos’ embarrassing 27-20 home loss to the Chargers. Maybe it’s the short week coupled by the night game, or the fact that it’s on national television. Who knows. But it doesn’t bode well for good statistics.

I had Ben Roethlisberger and Torrey Smith pretty high up in my Week 2 rankings, but that was just stubborn of me. You can’t get much worse than the nine fantasy points Big Ben put up, Owen Daniels vulturing Dennis Pitta every step of the way, or the one catch for 10 yards Torrey had — especially after Joe Flacco had said earlier in the day that he expects his top receiver to catch 100 balls this year.

Sunday should offer many more offensive fireworks than Thursday night’s dreadful affair. There are plenty of matchups to exploit, including the Saints vs. Browns, Patriots vs. Vikings, Chiefs vs. Broncos, Jaguars vs. Washington Football Team, and Cowboys vs. Titans. But none should be more exciting (and fantasy-team boosting) than the Eagles/Colts game. The high-flying Eagles (pun intended) travel to Indy to take on the 900 horsepower Colts (pun also intended). You’re always gonna start Andrew Luck, Nick Foles and LeSean McCoy, but their supporting casts deserve a lot of attention this week and are all nearly must starts in most fantasy formats. Fringe fantasy starters like Darren Sproles, Riley Cooper, Ahmad Bradshaw, and Dwayne Allen are near automatic starts this week, and even Colts’ tight end Coby Fleener is worthy of consideration in deeper leagues. The only guys I’d be hesitant to recommend are Hakeem Nicks and Trent Richardson, who have proven to be too untrustworthy. Not only will this game have a large effect on the outcome of your fantasy matchups, but we get to wait till Monday night to have it all play out. Now, that, my friends, is what fantasy football is all about!

Please feel free to post your start/sit questions below. Until then, here are the rest of my starts and sits for Week 2…

(All recommendations are based on PPR formatted leagues)

Please, blog, may I have some more?

2014 Rookie QB Impact: Much Ado About Nothing

May 15, 2014 | 2014 Fantasy Football, 2014 NFL Draft, Fantasy Football Buy/Sell | 3 Comments

by: walt

The NFL Draft… I’m about drafted out. In the Cleveland area, local talk radio has been so Browns focused that I’m not even sure if we have a professional baseball team. Check that, we do… we just don’t have a closer, but I digress. Holding the draft three weeks later than last year just added to the amount of BS we had to sift through trying to figure out who was going where. As much as I would love to give you yet another recap of what happened, and it actually turned out to be a fairly exciting night, I’m moving forward.

Watching the NFL Draft is kind of like watching a R-rated movie when you were a teenager. Remember waiting with baited breath for some girl to rip her top off for no reason? That’s the draft. You watch a few lineman taken, a defensive back, where’s the QB??? This year we got our money shot early with Blake Bortles being drafted third. What we really want to know is: How will he and some other guy from Texas A&M do this year? I’m going to tell you about these two QBs this week, and a couple more next week.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Witness: Beddict’s 2014 1st Round Mock Draft

May 7, 2014 | 2014 Fantasy Football, 2014 NFL Draft, Mock Draft | 22 Comments

by: LT Murray IV

Greetings!!! Welcome to Razzball’s first ever, REAL NFL Mock Draft. The more you know and understand about rosters and the NFL in general, will only help you achieve your grandiose dreams of fantasy greatness. Who better than I, Tehol Beddict, Razzball’s own in-house football expert, to break down what all 32 NFL teams should be doing with their first round selections? Don’t answer that.

I expect there to be numerous trades in the first round, and all throughout the draft, but I’m not even going to attempt at predicting all of the trade scenarios. That’s like trying to decipher how Nicolas Cage went from an A-list leading actor to the holding up “Will Work for Food” signs on Hollywood Boulevard. I don’t recall ever being this pumped up about an NFL Draft, as this is one of the more intriguing draft classes in some time. I’m giddy like a school girl on Christmas Eve!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Who Went From Chump To Champ From The Cut On A Dime?

December 23, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Daily Notes | 107 Comments

by: Sky

I guess this question is really a two parter because there’s a yang to this yin. But to be honest, it’s Monday after week 16 has almost concluded. Losers need not apply. *Hears readership heading for exits*. Wait, wait, wait, did I say losers? I meant Lugers! Yeah, that’s it! You know, people who luge? Yeah, get the eff out, winter Olympic sports people! And take that Jamaican bobsled team with ya! Now where was I before I was rudely interrupted by a buncha sore Lugers…oh yeah, we were talking Fantasy Football, of course. The kind of Fantasy Football that wins championships, i.e. the bestest kind. For all the talk of JC Superstar and Knowshon this year, it’s kinda been lost in the shuffle that LeSean McCoy has been beasting all year. Ok, it’s hard to say that about @CutOnDime25 but when you think about it, it’s kinda true. Everyone talked about how he could be a fantasy stud in the off-season when Chip came to town but really, everyone was talking about Chip not him. Then Vick started the year off hot, so Michael Vick was the point of discussion. Then Vick sucked and that, of course, was the point of discussion. Then in waltzed Nick Foles who started running Chip’s offense at full steam and then he was the point of discussion. It’s odd that a guy can lead the NFL in rushing yards and be a bit of an afterthought in this game we play but that’s what happens when you’re consistently good but rarely breakout great in this game. Everyone wants week 15 JC Superstar, week 8 Megatron, week 13 Josh Gordon (will someone PLEASE give that man a nickname). But Shady has just ‘been there’. He’s had some big rushing days, don’t get me wrong as his 133 yards on the ground Sunday were his 6th 100+ yard effort of the year and he does have a 200+ yard snow game to his credit. I don’t know, maybe I’m Chris Collinsworth’ing this whole shizz and creating a narrative that doesn’t need to be made but I swear I’ve heard more about other players of this caliber over the course of the season than LeSean. Here’s to you, Shady, and the joy of the championships you brought to all those peoples out there who aren’t Lugers. In other news from week 16 of the 2013 Fantasy Football season…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Confessions Of A Schaubaholic

December 6, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Daily Notes | 173 Comments

by: Sky

I know, I know, I should’ve seen this coming. I think Hunter S. Thompson put it best: ‘You can turn your back on a person but never turn your back on a drug’. I let my guard down, forgot that I was dealing with an addict. Kubiak’s passion for Matt Schaub runs deeper than THE Bruce Dickenson’s want for more cowbell. I should’ve known that he’d get the itch at some point again. How many days had it been since crazy ‘ole Kub had seen a ‘drop back and fall to the ground because I’m an immobile QB’ sack? When was the last time he got to see one of those patented stalled drives down near the goal line from his old QB flame? We all understand, Gary, you just can’t quit this man. You guys had such good times together. Like that pick-6 he threw in week 2. And then that other one he threw in week 3. Oh and do you remember that one he threw in week 4? That one was a beauty. Personally, though, I’m partial to the one he threw in week 5 that helped him set an NFL record for consecutive games with a pick 6. I mean, imagine that: your starting QB setting NFL records. That makes you proud as a coach. You can’t quit that. Not after someone has made a burger about it. No sir. You don’t care what the stats say or the energy the new QB brings to the team. You do anything and everything in your power to undermine the confidence of that young man. I mean, who does he think he is? Throwing 5 TDs in 2 games to big AJ, the guy who had 4 total in his last 20 games heading into that string. He’s…uh…just not moving the ball right that way. Gotta spread it around. We need more 5 yard bootleg passes to the TE! We can’t have plays that go for more than 10 yards. What’s the fun in that? That’s not Schaub-style football, dammit! Dear Gary Kubiak, consider this lead paragraph my love song to you in the swan song that is your career as the Houston Texans coach. Please note I typed it only using two fingers, both of them middle. In other fantasy news from week 14’s Thursday Night Football contest…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Hard Targets: Alshon Jeffery Turns the Tables and Undresses Saints

October 11, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Hard Targets | 17 Comments

by: LT Murray IV

Greetings! Tis I, your servant, Tehol Beddict, here to talk some fantasy football and stimulate your minds. It seemed like Alshon Jeffery was untouched during the Bears losing effort against the Saints of New Orleans. I know what you’re thinking: ” Tehol, an attractive young man not being “touched” by a “Saint” is an oxymoron!” I know this to be true. I’ve dug oh so deep into the dark, crusty annals of our worlds history, and rarely have I read about a supposed “Saint” that wasn’t either a sexual deviant or just a disgracefully foul human being in general. If you doubt me, send your boys to Sunday school with no parental vision, just make sure they wear a wire. Does anyone even read my column? After this opening I’m guessing my readers just went from 2 to zero. Sky don’t edit this or I’ll show up at your front door with Bishop Eddie Long in tow, and you know what that means: A nice friendly game of “Butts Up.” Anyway, I know Jeffery didn’t follow up his record breaking performance this week with anything special, but the fact remains he is now heavily targeted and was missed on a few bombs last night against the Giants. This young bull has undoubtedly been blessed by the Elder God’s with immense size, talent, and stature. I can only imagine what he’s packin and I’m not speaking of weaponry. Although I suppose that could be considered weaponry as I’m sure it’s deadly when he uses it’s deep impact capabilities. Jeffery’s stat line from last week you want? Here it is: 10 receptions for 218 yards with a TD on 13 targets. Yea, he truly went Berzerk, and I’m not talking the horrific, embarrassingly bad, new Eminem song produced by that dirty old man, Rick Rubin. I’d start every week at the WR 3 spot or flex if I were you. But If I were you, then you’d be me, and you’d be betting oiled up with banana cream pudding with two female midgets licking it off for a hot new advertisement in Bangkok and telling me what to do with my fantasy roster. Again, nobody is really reading this far, right?

Please, blog, may I have some more?