Unfortunately I am not Bryan Cranston or Jessie Pinkman (he plays himself, right?) and I am not Breaking Bad.  Well I am in the Razzball Writer’s League!  Wait, by breaking bad I mean doing good.  Kinda the antithesis of my metaphor here.  Scrap that open – I’m too lazy to hold down delete though…

Whilst I break bad in the Razzball Writer’s league, I’m looking at a 4-1 then two 3-2 and two 2-3 teams.  I know you’re yelling at your computer, “I don’t care about JB’s leagues!”  But what I’m trying to get at is that week 6 is right when I want to be sure I’m breaking mediocrity.  If I’m below .500 heading into week 6 it means I’m 2-4 and probably toast.  Or 1-5 or 0-6, and only consuming alcohol.  So in those two 2-3 record leagues, I’m staring down the barrel of some really horrible matchups.  I feel like the Jags this week.

And if you’re looking for one the absolute sweetest blue ice fantasy contests this weekend, DraftKings still has an exclusive double up contest for us at Razzball that has a ton of spots open.  Easiest way to double your money you’ll find all weekend.  Unless of course, you want to risk working for Heisenberg – and by that I mean in ABQ not any of the RCL teams!  (Sky is going to get angry for using Breaking Bad references in my open since that’s his meth, isn’t he?  But I’m the one who knocks!)

Please, blog, may I have some more?

So I know you’re all wondering – what do these Razzball guys really do with their lives!?  Spoiler!  You already know if you read Basketball.  Oh well…

If you don’t read/play Fantasy Basketball – give it a chance!  Start up an RCL League!  If you haven’t played it much, it’s the perfect blend of Fantasy Football and Baseball.  “Wait – why is JB shamelessly pandering?!  I thought he was gonna tell us about his life fighting crime!”   Whilst I keep the rogue streets of North Cackalacky free from the seedy (pork)underbelly of crime, I have unfortunately shifted my sleep schedule.  I had to buy a blast shield for my windows.  It was like I was in the Peach Trees Mega Block when Judge Dredd came.  Fortunately Michael Caine IS NOT my butler and that scene from Batman Begins didn’t happen where Bale goes – “Bats are nocturnal!”  I woulda just slapped that foo’.  Long, disheveled and borderline lunatic rantings aside (those last couple of sentences could’ve been from a Tehol article… Never go full Tehol!) – my point is I’ll be getting to your LSDs closer to noon than right away.  It also means I’m writing this up on my Palm Pilot while staking out the mean streets of the Triangle on Saturday Night.  So if anything changes dramatically on Sunday Morning, I’ll get to it before kickoff!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The original plan was to be visiting family with remote internet access the week prior to preseason action. So of course, a wine and food fair event just HAD to bump that back a week. The best part? We didn’t go to the wine and food fair. Too tired from all the traveling and didn’t want to spend time with the annoying relatives. That’s truth with a capital hashtag in front, peeps, and why never to book hotel rooms in advance. I know you don’t care about any of this blather, really, but want you to know that I’m a bit behind on all the goings on over the last week. I heard DX died. Ok, he didn’t die really but in our fantasy football world, being out for the remainder of the year is pretty similar. BTW, it’s bad enough to tear it once but he’s now torn his ACL 5 times. Screw Tommy John surgery, we need Danario Alexander surgery that replaces completely worthless ACLs. But enough about that, I’m gonna do my best to post what I know – very little -and what I gleaned – a bit more – from all this preseason football. I’m going to then gently apply it to this here 2013 Fantasy Football season for you all cuz that’s what I do. I’m a giver. But before I give you that, I’m here to give you this. That ‘this’ is a link to the Razzball Commenter Leagues. We don’t have many leagues. It’s embarrassing. I call my mother and cry on the phone about it and the only person who can change that is you. Maybe not you on your own, but you and another 11 you’s to join your quest for sweet Razzball swag. You can call them mini-you’s if you prefer. But enough about your Dr. Evil impersonations, it’s time to cover a bit of the magic that is preseason football for the 2013 fantasy football season…

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“Pressure pushing down on me Pressing down on you no man ask for Under pressure that burns a building down… Chippin’ around, kick my brains across the floor These are the days, when it rains it pours… Insanity laughs under pressure we’re cracking Can’t we give ourselves one more chance?” “Under Pressure” Queen/David Bowie It’s […]

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To say that Doug Martin went off tonight for his fantasy owners would be an understatement.  For various reasons, many of his owners had been frustrated with the rookie running back coming into the game in Minnesota today.  Some were frustrated with the last few weeks seeing LeGarrette Blount at the goal line where they […]

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Razzball Nation!  The 2012 Fantasy Season is approaching!  It’s great to be back and never too early to start thinking about how to field your best squad. What better way to start planning for your upcoming drafts than to think about sleepers.  And just like your friendly proctologist, I’m going to start with the Tight […]

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I’m mixing things up a little here in the pass d strategery this week. I thought I would show you the actual statistics instead of just the rankings. The “Rank” on the left side is still calculated using the average rankings so that hasn’t changed, but now you can see the numbers behind the rankings. […]

Please, blog, may I have some more?