After the week two Bloody Sunday Massacre, I knew it would be tough watching Monday Night Football this week. Anytime my man Darren Waller touched the ball I flinched in anticipation of another torn ACL or high ankle sprain. My standing Tuesday morning appointment with my fantasy football therapist, where I usually just complain about how unlucky I got in the past week’s matchups, will now be used to work thru this post traumatic fantasy stress syndrome. Fortunately, Darren Waller is one player I won’t need to cry about during that session as he destroyed the Saints’ defense with 12 catches for 103 yards and his 1st touchdown—let’s just hope he didn’t injure his back while carrying the Raiders offense. I ranked Big Sexy Waller as my #3 tight end and #36 overall in my 2020 fantasy football rankings so I’m looking pretty smart, as long as you ignore where I ranked Kerryon Johnson and a bunch of other players. Also, don’t ask why I’m required to wear a helmet around my house. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday for fantasy football:

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Week 1 is finally here! Are you ready for some football? Thursday night party! And by party I mean small gatherings of less than 6 people. 

B_Don and Donkey Teeth have to talk about the recent Odell Beckham story to lead off the show. Then, we get into the tight end overview. Both of us have Kelce over Kittle and then we talk about DT’s infatuations, Darren Waller and Rob Gronkowski. We give our case for why we are lower on Tyler Higbee than the industry coming off his strong 2019 finish. B_Don then tries to talk DT off Jonnu Smith’s bum a**. 

After the TE discussion, we take a look at some seasonal awards where we both give you our MVPs, draft values, SB predictions, sleepers, busts, breakouts, and ROY. We wrap up the show with a couple of fan questions from @AGrieke and @BensGotTweets as they prepare for week 1. 

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Danny Kelly of the Ringer, stops by the Razzball Football Podcast to chat with B_Don and Donkey Teeth. We discuss Raheem Mostert’s trade/contract demands, and how the 49ers RB situation could play out moving forward.

Then we move on and take a look at Danny’s #SFBX (Scott Fish Bowl 10) draft, and his general strategy for the event. We ask him about his draft strategy, his slllloooowwww draft, and ask him about the expectations for some of his team members.

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Ryan McDowell of Dynasty League Football stops by to talk all sorts of football goodness. We start with the Cam Newton signing where Ryan and B_Don are on the opposite side from Donkey Teeth. 

Ryan is un-officially, well, we assigned him the title, VP of the Scott Fish Bowl (SFBX), so, we asked him about his involvement and what kind of workload this event puts on him.

Then, on to the good stuff, we talk to the SFB vet about his SFBX draft strategy with some of the interesting wrinkles that Scott put in this season. Ryan discusses his plan with the adjustments to the scoring, specifically toward QBs.

In both SFB and standard re-drafts, we discuss how to fight the urge to go with dynasty rankings, and avoid the shiny bobble. Speaking of WRs, we ask Ryan if the current class, and looking foward, the 2021 class, can keep up with the seasons our ’19 rookies provided. And of course, we have to ask Ryan about our ongoing Andrews/Waller debate. 

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Deep in the hills of Los Angeles, there is a sacred space of learning that the kids call, “UCLA.” For those not familiar with the nature of university, it is like a bank where you can keep borrowing money no matter how bad your report card is. On the outskirts of UCLA, there is a junction where students spend their borrowed money. Hip shoppers stop at the Whole Foods, put their Chase Sapphire cards into a point-of-sale machine, and smile with maskless glee as the POS takes nine bucks from their account for a single watermelon. Across the street, there’s an In-N-Out, where students shout “ANIMAL STYLE” and wait for their slathered beef like it was the first co-ed on screen in a slasher film. 

In the winter, the Rose Bowl celebrates the imagined paradise that is California: the orange groves, the rose gardens, the summer nights on the beach with a Mai Tai. The RazzBowl, however, celebrates the real paradise that is California: Raiders Chargers Rams greasy burgers and expensive watermelons. And just like your friends want you to come out for one more $15 Mai Tai before taking the Uber to your dad’s condo, the RazzBowl wants you on board for the wildest ride in fantasy football. 

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Since time immemorial tight ends have perplexed the world. We all know you want an end that’s tight, but how tight is too tight? The great Albert Einstein tackled this enigma with his theory of relativity, where he concluded Darren Waller epitomizes the perfect balance of tightness and plumpness in the end department. And who is Donkey Teeth to argue with genius Einstein? Waller’s an adonis of a man, and well endowed too.

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Our buddy Pat Fitzmaurice of FootballGirl.com and the Fitz on Fantasy podcast stops by to reminisce about his strong performance in the inaugural RazzBowl last year. B_Don and Donkey Teeth ask Pat about his strategy for this year’s RazzBowl. Then, we ask him about some of the players from his team last season to see what he thinks about them for 2020.

Whether he’s done with David Johnson and where he would take Dalvin Cook with a pending holdout looming. He weighs in with the ongoing TE feud between podcast hosts, Mark Andrews vs Darren Waller, before we move onto some discussion about his Green Bay Packers.

We ask him about Aaron Jones possible holdout, and the Packers questionable draft day moves. He gives us his thoughts on who he’s looking at to fill in at WR after Davante Adams. B_Don tries to understand the fascination with Jace Sternberger. 

The guys wrap up with some rookie RB talk from Pat’s Wisconsin fellow alum, Jonathan Taylor, to Clyde Edwards-Helaire, and his overall ranks of the big 5 rookie RBs. 

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It happened again. Episode 4 of the legendary Fantasy Football Malpractice show is now playing on computers near you. The Boof and Dr. Donkey Teeth are taking over YouTube! 

This week we have a brief real talk about the current social climate in the United States before diving into fantasy football. In the news and notes segment we chat about DeAndre Hopkins’ proclamation that his numbers will only improve in Arizona and how the COVID induced NFL training facilities limits might provide opportunity for us fantasy football players. Then we dive into the RazzBowl, introducing the format for those not in the know. Sign up for the RazzBowl now!

Later in the Dynasty Dive segment we talk dynasty tight ends, including Jonnu Smith, Mark Andrews and the beast, Darren Waller. Lastly the show rounds out with a discussion about the evolution of gadget players in the NFL and who might see a fantasy uptick in 2020 due to this usage. Buckle up and prepare for some malpractice!

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In 2019, Razzball as a site fell in love with Darren Waller. It started before he became a player to watch on Hard Knocks in August, but the love only intensified. DonkeyTeeth was one of his biggest proponents in 2019 and he and I probably owned him in every league that we weren’t facing each other in. 

DonkeyTeeth’s love for Darren Waller has carried over into 2020 and we discussed it earlier this week in our football group chat. We even decided to put our money where our mouth is and made a gentleman’s wager. For the price of a Rotowear t-shirt, I took the side of Mark Andrews scoring more fantasy points than Darren Waller in 2020. I’m going to take it a step further. I don’t believe that Darren Waller will live up anywhere near his draft price in 2020. 

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B_Don and Donkey Teeth are back with another podcast episode to discuss DT’s dynasty QB and TE rankings. They start with the QB position and discuss their different tendencies toward more rush heavy or pass heavy QBs in dynasty. Additionally, the guys talk their appetite for starting a dynasty roster with an elite QB and an elite TE, and which players would be worth taking early. 

B_Don brings up a few top 10 dynasty QBs for DT that they have differing opinions about their future. Starting with Kyler jumping up to 3, Josh Allen coming in at 6, and then Baker even being in the top 10 QBs. After we go through those 3, DT admits his love for the ‘stache while B_Don is less enamored with facial hair.  

At TE, we start with a discussion about whether Kittle belongs in his own tier as the sole elite dynasty TE. We check in on the second tier and discuss DT’s boy Waller and why he has him over Mark Andrews. Overall, the duo talk about the TE tiers and how they could be arranged. We go on to discuss the Bucs, Rams, and Jets TE situations, with varying opinions on where those TEs should fit in the rankings. 

Please, blog, may I have some more?