B_Don and Donkey Teeth are back with another podcast episode to discuss DT’s dynasty QB and TE rankings. They start with the QB position and discuss their different tendencies toward more rush heavy or pass heavy QBs in dynasty. Additionally, the guys talk their appetite for starting a dynasty roster with an elite QB and an elite TE, and which players would be worth taking early.
B_Don brings up a few top 10 dynasty QBs for DT that they have differing opinions about their future. Starting with Kyler jumping up to 3, Josh Allen coming in at 6, and then Baker even being in the top 10 QBs. After we go through those 3, DT admits his love for the ‘stache while B_Don is less enamored with facial hair.
At TE, we start with a discussion about whether Kittle belongs in his own tier as the sole elite dynasty TE. We check in on the second tier and discuss DT’s boy Waller and why he has him over Mark Andrews. Overall, the duo talk about the TE tiers and how they could be arranged. We go on to discuss the Bucs, Rams, and Jets TE situations, with varying opinions on where those TEs should fit in the rankings. Please, blog, may I have some more?
In my post-NFL Draft quest to update all of my 2020 dynasty rankings I’ve finally come to tight ends. And you know what I’ve always said about tight ends. Better than loose ends! Rob Gronkowski has the tightest of ends, and he wasn’t leaving any loose ends in his legacy with Brady. Weaving the Gronk into these rankings in the wake of his comeback wasn’t easy due to his wide range of outcomes. But as Big Daddy Kane once said, “Pimpin’ Ain’t Easy.” Anyway, here’s those sweet, sweet updated top 15 tight ends for 2020 PPR dynasty football: Please, blog, may I have some more?
Quarantine Day 27:
Hey all you cool cats and kittens. Did you see the story about the tiger at the Bronx Zoo that tested positive for coronavirus? Very sad. I blame Carole Baskin. Not just for the infection of this poor feline, but for the entire COVID debacle. Speaking of which, the CDC just released some new guidelines and in order to receive a COVID-19 test in the United States you must now meet at least one of these requirements:
b) Professional athlete (Major League Soccer doesn’t count)
c) Movie star (Porn does count)
d) Valued tiger at the zoo
And if you check all four boxes the CDC even throws in a free roll of TP. So far only one man has cashed in on that free roll of one-ply: my preferred 2020 presidential candidate, Darren Waller. Anyway, here’s my top 15 dynasty tight ends for 2020 fantasy football: Please, blog, may I have some more?
Weeks or months of boredom can make a person do crazy things. These crazy things can include making a commitment that could easy last a half of a decade or more. Hey, it’s a good way to abstain from making a commitment that could last 18 years by making a quarantine baby. It’s all about give and take. And trust me, there is no bigger turnoff to your quarantine partner than doing a slow dynasty draft in late March and early April when kick off is still 5 months away. So it seems that 12 of us chose wisely by participating in the Quarantine Invitational.
This league was put together by Razzball’s own Al_FF_red (you probably know him as Boof). He reached out to 5 other writers that he is fans of or friends with to participate. This group makes up the Touts division. There is also the Doubts division. This division is made up of Boof’s pals who he probably refers to as fans. The Doubts division is made up of some sharp drafters who are also some pretty funny dudes, so there will be no discounting of their intelligence. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Quarantine Day 11:
2-ply is but a distant dream. We’re in the endgame now: poop showers.
The average American 401k value has sunken below my prized Ryan Leaf card collection. And even worse, Belgium has, “outlawed non-essential indoor sexual activity of three people or more.” The horror! Please, blog, may I have some more?
Every season in the NFL is full of evolution. You’ve heard a million times that the NFL is a copy cat league and teams lower in the standings try to emulate whatever the stand out teams did in the previous season. No matter what the hot trend is, the tight end position will not die in fantasy football. Each season the position lacks depth which makes hitting your pick in the draft pretty important.
That doesn’t necessarily mean you have to spend an early draft pick on a tight end though. Through spending some time and doing the proper research you can find the later round guys that have a good chance of popping. If you read Razzball in your 2019 prep, you probably ended up with Darren Waller on a lot of your fantasy teams. Let’s take a look at a few categories to break down the tight end position from the 2019 season as we look ahead to 2020. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Not long ago I threw a bunch of pieces of scrap paper with random letters scribbled on them into my fedora. I then randomly drew fifty letters from the titfer. Next I conducted several ritual sacrifices to the fantasy gods, assembled those fifty illegible letters into twenty-five pairs and selected the first football player who came to mind with matching initials to compile my Top 25 Dynasty Rankings for 2020 Fantasy Football. And that’s the story of how Kerryon Johnson landed at #18 overall, as the readers pointed and mocked. Of course, I’m kidding about this process. I don’t own a fedora, it used a baseball cap.
A week later I repeated the same exercise to compose my Top 50 Dynasty Rankings for 2020 Fantasy Football which landed Juju Smith-Schuster at #50 overall. And outrage ensued. The angry mob called for Donkey blood. So I quickly handed over my Top 75 and Top 100 Dynasty Rankings for 2020 Fantasy Football. But those only fueled the riots. “Put the rankings into one easy to view list,” they said. “We don’t need your stupid explanations and jokes,” they said. “You’re the ugliest Donkey we’ve ever seen,” they said.
So I withdrew into solitude for a couple weeks, rosterbating and meditating and then rosterbating more until finally I had another 100 arbitrary player names collated into one easy to read list for the bloodthirsty mob’s viewing pleasures. Anyway, here’s my updated top 200 dynasty rankings for 2020 PPR fantasy football leagues: Please, blog, may I have some more?
Two weeks ago I amused the people with my top 25 for 2020 dynasty football where I wrote about my crooked hard-on for Kerryon Johnson from my cushy American barn. Last week I captivated the audience with my top 50 for 2020 dynasty football where I insulted JuJu Smith-Schuster while vacationing in Madrid. This week I’ll regale the world with my top 75 for 2020 dynasty football, written while stranded in Paris on Jesus’s Birthday. Long story short: the Europeans are on strike. Nobody wants to work, making my holiday travels a challenge. But there’s worse places to get stuck than Paris where Donkey has made the most of it by visiting world renowned Peyronie’s Disease specialists, eating hay crêpes and discovering new football talent; I’ve heard this Cristiano Ronaldo hombre will be a great kicker. Anyway, here’s my top 75 for 2020 dynasty football: Please, blog, may I have some more?
It seems like every season there is a player that was heavily dropped during the regular season that comes back during the weeks of the fantasy football playoffs with an absolute vengeance. Last year, it was was Derrick Henry and the tear that he went on in weeks 14-16, including that unforgettable 99-yard touchdown run that seemed to take an entire quarter to complete and then forgive my long-term memory, you’ll have to let me know what guy that was in the previous seasons. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Antonio Brown lit up his former team the Oakland Raiders this week, going off for 5 catches for 153 yards and 2 touchdowns as he fully delivered on his 2nd round fantasy-draft-price-tag. And just when his owners needed him most. He also chipped in 1 carry for 13 yards and he didn’t even fart in anyone’s face in the locker room after the win. Wait a minute, that doesn’t sound like the AB I know. *checks notes* Ahhhh this was A.J. Brown, not Antonio Brown! My bad, honest mistake. The Titans 2nd round rookie out of Mississippi, A.J. Brown, now has 6 touchdowns and three 100+ yard games on the season. Can I just draft the entire 2019 rookie receiver class on all of my teams next year? Anyway, here’s what else I saw during yesterday afternoons’ games for fantasy football: Please, blog, may I have some more?