The Eagles won the Super Bowl! Of course, America wins in the battle of the most patriotic mascots in the NFL. I think that the best part is that the Patriots got beat without any fluky helmet catches and by a quarterback not named Eli Manning. BDN Foles (deconstructed abbreviation NSFW) put together his second straight clutch performance for the Eagles. The RPOs, the beautiful RPOs. They’re so hot right now. It’s like if the wildcat was sustainable and effective. When it was all said and done, it was a great season finale of NFL Football. It was right on par with any Breaking Bad finale and much better than the latest season finale of Game of Thrones.

Speaking of prestige television, did you cry when you saw how Jack died? Yes, you did. You bawled harder than your wife and she had to hold you while you sobbed. Don’t pretend you didn’t stay after the game for This Is Us. Westworld and This is Us, be a guy who can enjoy both. Or don’t, there’s more to strive for in life. Reading about fantasy football in February is a great start! About a week and a half ago, I covered quarterbacks and running backs, so you should check that out. It’s time to put the 2017 season in the past once and for all with reviewing the wide receiver and tight end positions.

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Well, hello my lovelies! Have you missed me over the past two weeks? I know I missed all of you. Being an international sex symbol and all around catch has been exhausting. My Sugar Daddy decided to fly me all over the world for the past two weeks and hence, no time to pay attention to any of you. Well, not really, but it sounded good in my head as I was writing it. How are we faring? It seems none of us can escape a week without the loss of one of our beloved on our rosters and right now our teams are so ugly you wouldn’t even f**k it with your buddy’s d*ck. It’s understandable. Eventually, the lights have to come on after last call and no matter how much you try to convince yourself that you are looking at a winner, there isn’t enough tequila in the world to make that team look sexy enough to bang. Well, that’s where I come in. Let me be your bartender and slip you a roofie or two as we journey into Week 9 of the 2017 season. Ladies and gentlemen, convicts and perverts, I give you Hit it or Quit it, Week 9!

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Week 3 was a crazy, crazy week. Thanks Trump! I kidd. Blake Bortles, Case Keenum, and Eli Manning all threw for at least three touchdowns, with Bortles throwing four! The Jets dominated. It gets crazier, though. Eight of the games on Sunday had the road teams as favorites. The Jaguars, Colts, Bears, Jets, Bills, and Redskins all took care of business at home. Bow wow wow yipee yo yipee ya! Home dogs! The Lions should have won and the Chargers…well, just scroll down to the recap of that game and all will become clear.

The 2017-2018 Razzball Commenter Leagues for Basketball are now open. Get more info and join here!

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