Does anyone play in a league where you can trade FAAB dollars? I don’t know if there’s a website set-up for that, but there must be. I could see there being strategy involved with a trading a 4th wide receiver for $10 or using that extra cash to sweeten a deal. Especially over a long season, and if it was a keeper league to boot trading those extra dollars toward the end of the season could really make a difference. Well, I’m sold, if you’re interested check back in about eight months and I’ll have a league ready to go. Now, on to the show.

So this is Free Agent Auction Bidding, and we started the season with one hundred dollars. Ten weeks in, does anyone have any money left? (I have less than $10 in all my leagues) But let’s say you do, let’s say you missed out on all the guys you wanted up until this week, maybe you’ve added and dropped a couple defenses, but that’s it. In that case, spend spend spend!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

As expected, we had a triumphant trade deadline in the NFL. The names that we were seeing at the end of the night yesterday aren’t necessarily the big names that ended up being moved. The Colts ended up staying put with their offensive weapons that were being brought up. The Dolphins didn’t move Jarvis Landry as expected. Calvin Johnson will stay retired, at least for the remainder of 2017. Now, Martavis Bryant will be back in the game plan for the Pittsburgh Steelers.

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Crowd chants: “WE WANT JEN! WE WANT JEN!” I know, I know, sometimes real life gets in the way. You probably woke up this morning expecting your usual Hit it or Quit it article and were disappointed to see the picture of Diddy at the top of the football blog but I promise you that we will get through this together. Jen will be back next week and if you would like to check out my regularly scheduled Monday programming, you can find it here.

And now, are you going to Hit it… or Quit it?

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Welcome to another edition of Jay’s (hey, that’s me!) Review of all things Week 2. Except for Monday Night Football, just as bad as Thursday Night Football, but now without Chris Berman. So slightly better. Maybe. Who knows actually? I’m just waiting for when the NFL figures out how to have a game on every night and additionally draw out the NFL Draft for entire offseason. You think it might not happen, but Roger Goodell is already telling Robert Kraft to hold his beer (usually it’s his penis). So yeah, that was basically me saying that MNF is too late for this existential journey, maaaan. And sure, what I just typed may have come off as sassy, but that’s only because MB RSVP’d (so many acronyms, so little time!) probably the best GIF from Week 2 with the Lynch Safety Dance. You probably only understood that reference if you’re a member of AARP, but hey, on the bright side, more acronym dropping. So instead, I have chosen Todd Gurley to shine my light upon with the utmost care and love. Which is what I also refer to as a boner. And behold above, if that GIF doesn’t turn you on, I don’t want to be off. I feel like this could be the new Dyson’s vacuum cleaner slogan. Or the first last line I’ll ever say to a first last date. The possibilities are endless, just like a world with a functioning Todd Gurley. Is he back? (Maybe?) Was he ever gone? (Yeah.) (Vague) Answers to these questions and your usual daily allotment of hot takes, yokes (jokes in egg form, or I guess I could have just corrected the typo instead of typing this long sentence out… wait, am I still typing?), and your Week 2 Top Plays in GIF form are all after the jump!

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Hello everyone, and welcome back to another article in our draft strategy series, where we take a look at each position and how to best attack it in drafts. We’ve covered QB’s, backs and receivers up to this point, so now let’s switch our focus to the Tight End position. I’ve been pretty in-depth with our backs and receivers conversations, but it’s going to be a bit straightforward for this article. Not saying I’ll not give quality and dependable analysis (do I ever?), but it won’t be as complex.

So let’s jump straight into it…

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After two straight Superbowl appearances, the NFC South is coming up faster than that lady from The Leftovers and this past season of Fargo.  Yes, I know her name is Carrie Coon, I didn’t have to google it, and she’s become my favorite actress.  Some of you already know that I think that the Leftovers is the best show ever made, but I’m also impressed that Fargo was able to pull off another good season for the third straight year.  Fargo has a built-in setting, but coming up with a different cast, story line, and ending every year and doing it well blows my mind.  To put it in perspective it only took a second season for True Detective to suck at the same format.  Well, I guess it didn’t “suck”, the acting was awesome.  I’m one of the few who bought into Vince Vaughn in his role.  The story was a snoozer, I can’t defend that part.

Before we get into our second division preview, be sure to check out Zach’s preview of the AFC East.  Zach will be covering the AFC while I cover the NFC.  Also, we must rejoice that Jay has returned to give you his rankings and predictions for the 2017 season.  Zach and I are going to try and record a podcast every week to get you ready for the football season.  We plan on having a few surprise guests, but most of it will just be us two talking shop.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Granted, there isn’t a rich history to draw from in terms of “quality football” on Thursdays, but you have to think that this being an actual Sunday Night production, coupled with the fact that we actually haven’t had a real game in what feels like decades, I’m pretty sure I would have been enamored if it was the Vikings playing against the Titans (which we’ll actually receive this Sunday! Wooo?). That being said, the game was actually pretty good on the scale of Graham Gano to those muscles in your arm that benefit the most if you’re throwing a penalty flag. (I mean, there were so many flags this game, it felt more like a United Nations summit, amirite?) Both teams looked sluggish throughout though, which was probably to be expected in the first game of the season. The Broncos and Panthers burned a lot of timeouts too, each for their own derpy reasons. For Denver, they seemingly forgot to count and had multiple downs where 12 men were on the field. For Carolina, five total timeouts from both halves were wasted because of terrible clock management by Newton (though I’m pretty sure Jerry Richardson was only upset with three-fifths of them). In fact, Andy Reid probably uploaded all these timeouts to his PornHUB account. That being said, I have to add that I found myself pretty frustrated with the continued non-calls on what were some brutal hits to Cam Newton. There were at least three blatant roughing the passer calls that were missed (or ignored?), and the last hit, late in the fourth quarter that actually drew a flag (you can see it after the jump), which was a helmet spear of all things, was offset by an intentional grounding. Oh, okay then, that makes sense. But the game was close throughout and quite entertaining, and due to the fact that Trevor Siemian flirted between the lines of profoundly mediocre and downright awful, the Panthers had a chance with seven seconds to win the game with a 44-yard field goal attempt in altitude… so yeah, we know how that turned out. Congrats to your 0-1 undefeated Panthers! Wait a second…

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It’s a bird. It’s a plane. It’s malamoney’s fantasy football rankings. The best thing about rankings and projections is that no one ever calls you out for having absolutely sh!tty projections. It’s not until months later when the season is over that projections can really be evaluated for efficiency, and by that time who really give a flying [fill in the blank]. Not to mention, who’s actually going to take the time to do so.

Here is my process for generating projections. Step one. Develop a random number generator. Step two. Generate hundreds of random numbers. Step three. Publish projections. Okay, so that’s not exactly how I get from point A to point B. Truth be told, I wouldn’t be surprised if there were some sources out there that did.

First I calculate my own set of player projections. Next I download between five and ten other sets of projections. Finally I take all of the projections, including my own, and run them through a program I’ve written that averages all of the projections together. I considered dropping the high and the low scores, but that just seemed a little counterintuitive. Besides, it’s not like I’m judging figure skating over here. The biggest pain in the ass is dealing with all the various spellings of the same name. Odell Beckham Jr. versus just Odell Beckham. Steve Smith Sr. versus just Steve Smith. T.Y. Hilton (with the dots) versus Ty Hilton. And how about Le’Veon Bell (with the apostrophe) versus LeVeon Bell. When the dust finally settles and I’ve lined up all the edges, I have my projections.

If you are interested in my positional rankings based on projected points, please take a look at my last post, The Adventure of Bidding. If you are just too damn lazy to click a link, I will summarize…

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Well, we all knew the Bengals season was going to end as soon as they played their first playoff game, the only questions to be answered was the how and why. Unfortunately for the Bengals, the answers came about a month too early. Now sitting at 10-3, Andy Dalton broke his thumb while, of all things, making a tackle (shown above) after throwing an interception. The loss came at the hands of perpetual division rival and bee-uniform wearing Steelers, further complicating the Bengals road to their one-and-done playoff appearance. Even Tyler Eifert went down with a concussion in the first half of yesterday’s game. So you have to wonder, can they still get a bye and go for a loss during the divisional playoffs? Or will that loss come during Wild Card Weekend? All joking aside, you’d have to think that with this year’s Andy Dalton, the Bengals had the best chance they’ve had since the Carter administration to get a playoff victory, but depending on how long Dalton is out, you have to figure that limping into the tournament and unable to get a playoff win is the most likely scenario. And also sounds like a new verse for Alanis Morrisette’s “Ironic”.

Here’s what else I saw during Week 14’s Sunday games…

New to Daily Fantasy Football? Try out this new free FanDuel’s contest, where half the league is guaranteed to win. (Played on FanDuel before? You can build a team for $5 for a chance of $100,000, part of a one million dollar prize pool!)

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Technically, it’s “Newton’s law of universal gravitation”, but let’s not cut hairs here when it comes to aesthetically pleasing titles. I’m into that whole brevity thing, man. But like Newton’s law — that two bodies in the Universe attract each other with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them, or, like how Paula Abdul explained while singing with a cartoon cat, that opposites attract, Cam Newton has been able to work with what is probably the most underwhelming receiving depth in the league. Not counting the Browns. (You never count the Browns.) I mean, Ted Ginn Jr. is a starter. THIS IS CRAZY. With last night’s win against the hapless Saints, the Panthers are now 12-0 and the only undefeated team remaining. Or, if you live in Carolina, they are now the only undefeated team with a 11-1 record. Regardless, no matter what unfolds the next month, at this point, it looks like the Panthers are set to make their run to the Super Bowl, where they’ll likely face off against the not-Bengals…

Here’s what else I saw during Week 13’s Sunday games…

New to Daily Fantasy Football? Try out this new free FanDuel’s contest, where half the league is guaranteed to win. (Played on FanDuel before? You can build a team for $5 for a chance of $100,000, part of a one million dollar prize pool!)

Please, blog, may I have some more?