Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn’t fuzzy, was he? I think that’s how that goes. Here’s my version. Jonathan Stewart was a Duck. Jonathan Stewart had no luck. Without a hammy, what was he? He was Fozzy Whittaker’s ticket to a one hundred yard rushing day. Ok, so that wasn’t very good. How about this one. JStew knew what to do. JStew his hammy blew. JStew knew it true, do you? Admittedly that was not much better. I could keep going with the mediocre attempts, but, contrary to popular belief, I have better things to do. Jonathan Stewart went down. Fozzy Whittaker stepped up, and has been named to my weekly “Are you sh!tting me with this lineup” lineup…Please, blog, may I have some more?
I’ll be honest, I was late turning on the game by about five minutes, and arrived to a replay of a stupid shovel pass by Ryan Fitzpatrick and a field goal. Honestly, the Jets had possession for like 14 minutes in the first quarter and was losing… Typical I said! But whoa, 67,000 points later, I was like, what in hell actually happened? Would this be the game that might actually remove the dreaded Thursday night curse of beyond-sh*tty football? Well, probably not, Phil Simms is still alive… baby steps though. In what was a sorta-kinda “color rush” game, also known as GANG LIME JELLO NEON RAVE GREEN game, the Jets actually wanted it both ways, going with their usual white with green uniforms for the sake of the color blind. All eight percent of you. Which is fine, but if you’re going to go all white, it better be something like K-Swiss or else I ain’t even gonna notice. And yes, the game’s final score of 37-31 seems closer than the game actually was (and was probably quadruple what the O/U from Vegas was), but we did find out some valuable information moving forward. First, the Jets defense kinda sucks. Second, I saw some personnel issues with the Bills. Those include: The Bills. Oh, there were also 13 total penalties this game, good for 109 yards. If only I had picked up the referees off waivers instead of the Jets defense…
Special Note: As you might notice after the jump, our new Player Pages are up and running (whenever a player’s full name is written, you’ll be able to click on it and be taken to a magical box of info and other nifty thingamajigs). Special thanks to Rudy for this brand new feature, and he’ll have a post on this later today delving into the development, his process, and what you can expect moving forward. It’ll probably be a bit more informative than calling them “thingamajigs”, that’s for sure. But if you want a quick look-see, check out my favorite player’s page!Please, blog, may I have some more?
I would say the Marshall Plan was a smashing success in an attempt to combat Soviet Communism back in 1948. Why Chicago was trying to invest $17 billion in aid to Europe last night was anyone’s guess, but that plan would have probably netted more yardage than Brandon Marshall. Despite the game looking somewhat unspectacular on paper (like how the Jets are not as bad as you would think, if you only look at them on paper), the game turned out to be what I expected last night, a dramatic and entertaining game mixed in with plenty of derp for good measure. The Derpmating, if you will. And while the Jets are a mistake-prone football team, their secondary did a good job against a vastly superior Chicago receiving core along with another strong effort from their front seven. The only problem is that the Bears were able to take advantage of those mistakes, even with their entire secondary dying in the second half.Please, blog, may I have some more?
For years, the thing about fantasy football that annoyed me the most was the Running Back by Committee. Belichick and Shanahan were the bane of my existence, and it always seemed like the RB I had was the one who got less carries or who got their TD vultured. I have since given up on […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
How art thou, Razzballians? Where art thou, fallen fantasy comrades? Even backups were sacrificed at the fantasy alter in week 8, leaving me to seriously consider picking up Chris Ogbonnaya with the third overall waiver claim. I must be crazy, but what the hell; at least I’m in good company. Great in Week 8…or at […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
(Doc’s Note: I’d like for y’all to welcome Joe to Razzball! He’ll be giving us his take on fake football all season) AFC East Living in the New York metro area, I can tell you New York Jets head coach Rex Ryan has been quiet. It’s refreshing, and perhaps a little hint that he doesn’t […]Please, blog, may I have some more?