Remember a few weeks ago when I recounted my tale of  trading Dak Prescott because I had Deshaun Watson only to lose Deshaun Watson for the season? The QB I added was Tyrod Taylor. The Bills have one of the softest fantasy playoff schedules (Week 13: Patriots, Week 14: Colts, Week 15: Dolphins, Week 16: Patriots.) I like Nathan Peterman as a deep option and you’ll find him in my waiver column on Tuesday. And there will definitely be plenty of J. Peterman references. Teasers!

As always, if you’ve got league-specific questions, I’ve got league-specific answers down below…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Hello my loves! Welcome back to another rendition of Hit it or Quit it. How was your week? Did you manage to avoid arrest for indecent exposure? Yes? What is wrong with you? You need to step your game up then, otherwise we can’t be lovers anymore. I had a fairly decent week until I got bent over and did raw in one of my leagues when I wasn’t notified that Michael Crabtree was out and ended up starting him. It handed me my first loss in that league and yeah, I am still salty about getting a case of the CRABtrees. Alas, such is my life. I am still sitting ontop of all of the men in that league, so the view is pretty sweet. Wait, that sounded dirty…heh, heh, heh… Now, I am sure you are all here because, like the song of the Siren, you couldn’t pull yourself away. Again, it is understandable, I am pretty awesome after all. In a week where the Black Widow Curse was pretty quiet (probably from all that man flesh she feasted on in Week 3), it is not guaranteed how long her satiety will last. So, with that, let’s get down to business and stop all this pillow talk. Ladies and gentlemen, convicts and degenerates, ask and ye shall receive. I give you, Hit it or quit it, Week 5…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

What’s going on everybody, and welcome to another edition of my weekly rankings! Well we have another full slate on our hands, now with the 9:30 am EST start time in London between the Jaguars and Ravens, so make sure you wake up a little earlier than usual to tinker with those lineups.

Week 2 was definitely head and shoulders above the first week of the season, so let’s take a look at what Week 3 has to offer, but before we do, let’s recap the week that was!

Check out Rudy’s exclusive DFS and season-long tools that are sure to help you be profitable this fantasy football season!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Last week my six start selections scored 99 fantasy points. That includes one of whom scored 0 points. Don’t look at me — look at Hunter Henry. That’s on him. How did my ‘sit’ selections do? 51 total points. That included a bold pick of Ezekiel Elliott who the Giants held to an average of 11 fantasy points in 2016. Elliott netted 18 fantasy points. What does it all mean? I’m a great lucky guesser.

If making week 1 picks is difficult because you don’t have any real in-season data from which to make your predictions, week 2 is nigh impossible because you have some fluke games like the Bengals being shutout in week 1 only to lay another turd on Thursday night against the Texans. The same Texans who in week 1 only scored 7 points against the first place Jaguars! What’s a fantasy football prognosticator to do?!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Hello everyone, and welcome to another post in our Razzball Divison Preview series. Today I’m taking a look at the NFC North, which, in my opinion, is one of the most interesting divisions in fantasy this year. There are so many storylines and moves that occurred over the offseason that have made this division incredibly relevant fantasy-wise (not that it hasn’t been in the past though). This could either be a great division, or a frustrating one, but we’ll have to see how it shakes out during the regular season itself. But we can’t wait forever, right? So let’s get started now and talk about these four interesting teams.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Our word of the day is gambling.  I love gambling, most of the time in small amounts unless I’m at the black jack table at 3 A.M. after my second trip to the ATM, but that’s a story for another time.  Plus, I was much younger then (if you consider two years ago a long increment of time).  When not gambling after consuming a bunch of whiskey, it’s usually a few bucks here and there on March Madness, NBA playoffs, or the reason why you’re reading this, the NFL.  When I’m making money gambling on sports, 75 percent of the time it’s because I’m betting against the public.  Fantasy football isn’t much different…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

After an extended hiatus, due to soul searching summer travels, me and Zach return for a podcast that was recorded on two separate nights over the past couple of weeks so beware of #productionvalue.

I rambled a lot about missing out on Ezekiel Elliot last season while gushing over Joe Mixon’s fantasy potential. We don’t condone domestic disputes, but we condone fantasy production. We try to decide what a healthy Sammy Watkins can do for Tyrod Taylor. We also bring up Browns quarterbacks and Jeremy Maclin.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Floyd Mayweather and Conor McGregor aren’t the only ones getting overpaid to disappoint us this upcoming fall (More on this and much more next week when Tehol graces us with his presence on the Razzblitz podcast).  Jeremy Maclin, who was recently released by the Kansas City Chiefs, has been signed by the Baltimore Ravens to a 2-year deal that will pay him 6 million this upcoming season.  The other team involved in the sweepstakes, the Buffalo Bills, either couldn’t or wouldn’t match.

Please, blog, may I have some more?