What’s this? Can it be? Yes, tis I, Beddict, back from the dead, both metaphorically and literally speaking, as I was recently shocked back to life after keestering (spellcheck wanted this word changed to “racketeering” for context) a bad batch of horse tranquilizers (or is that what they’re supposed to do?). Where have I been all season, you ask (or more likely don’t care)? Well, if you must know, I’ve been searching for my life’s purpose, something to dedicate my life to, something that inspires me…

At one point in time, I believed that writing was my true calling, believing I had the skill to become a known author, but, as per usual there was something holding me back from reaching my full potential, a blockade altering my path to glory yet again. As you sit at work reading this (while you should be working) you think to yourself: “Man, I can’t stand my wife. I wish I could go back in time and take a shot at the Brazilian stripper I met on my bachelor party in Vegas. She really seemed to get me.” Also: “What could possibly stop Tehol Beddict?!?!?! The man has a rocking body, a heart of gold, a slightly above average sized pipe, and a real talent on the key board. If he can’t become successful, who can!?!? WHY? WHY IS THIS WORLD SO CRUEL?!” The truth is, I’ve always given up on things too early, finding some excuse or reason to quit. Some would call this a fear or failure, some would call it laziness.

I’m sure many of you have experienced the same, or I don’t know, maybe you don’t have talent of any sort…and, errrr, that’s ok too… :-( …I guess what I’m trying to say here is, we all must dig deep within ourselves to become that person we were meant to be, to use the talents bestowed upon us by the Elder Gods. I’ve wasted many of the prime years of my life, but don’t intend on continuing to do so. Of course, we never intend to be utter failures in all aspects of life, so maybe I’m destined for a life of misery and despair. Say one thing for Tehol Beddict, say he’s probably f*cked.

Oh, wait, is this a football column? Below are my thoughts on a few stories I find interesting in the NFL at the midway point of the season. Take Heed!