635730277588618227-2015-07-20-justin-hunter

Welcome everybody to this week’s edition of Deep Impact! This is an important week, dear readers. For many of you, it is one last shot to lock up a first round bye or sneak into the playoffs and pray for a Giants-like romp to the championship. For many others, this will be your last week of fantasy football for the season, as your failed early round picks of Brandon Marshall or Rob Gronkowski (What idiot would have ever suggested those picks? Please don’t look at my preseason articles) give you another reason besides seasonal affective disorder to go see a therapist this winter. To those jumping off the metaphorical train after this week: don’t jump off anything literally, it’s going to be ok. Go book that therapy appointment, and thanks for reading along this season. To people gearing up for the playoffs, let’s take a look at the under 10% owned population and figure out what unearthed gem can take you to the Promised Land.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

A week where we saw an undefeated be beaten by the Colts (yes, THOSE Colts) and also some more major injuries, we are getting closer and closer to fantasy football playoffs times and knowing who to have and not to have is important. That is what I do, I tell you who to have on your benches, who to play, and who to drop as well. With some injuries at quarterback and running back, there will be some players who need to be stashed or even better, grabbed and potentially be worth playing. In the past three games, Derek Carr has thrown 11 touchdowns to only one interception and is quickly turning around compared to what he did in his rookie season last year. With a solid run game and two good wide receivers to throw to in Amari Cooper and Michael Crabtree. He has thrown for at least three touchdowns in the past three games as well and thrown no lower than 289 passing yards in those games as well. He is quickly proving to be match-up proof and does not show any signs of slowing down as the season progresses. For owners who may have lost Ben Roethlisberger (again) may need a quarterback on the waiver wire to pick up the slack and there may be no better option right now than Derek Carr as he continues to rack up fantasy points like crazy. And with Matt Ryan, Andrew Luck, Philip Rivers, Drew Brees, and Eli Manning still having bye weeks coming up over the next two weeks, Carr could be the perfect plug-and-play quarterback.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

wincrab

Well, the 2015 NFL Draft is finally over, and after 29 days (okay, to be fair, it was four days), we can finally get a better picture of how roles, players, teams, game-plans, etc. will take shape as we move closer to the start of the season. The draft itself didn’t have many surprises, in fact, the biggest surprise was Chip Kelly not innovating a trade for Marcos Mariota and actually concluding that Sam Bradford is the answer. He very well could be, but we’d never know as his UCL would implode before that point. Regardless, the first round went about as close to the mocks out there as could be expected, and it’s worth pointing out that the Titans will be facing the Browns in Week 1, setting up a potential match-up between Jameis Winston and Mariota. Only the hottest of takes on Winston will be accepted for that week…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The Internet nearly broke this week when the Cleveland Browns announced they were going to start rookie Johnny Manziel at quarterback… or so we think. It looks like Brian Hoyer might be sent to the bench to give the Browns a spark, according to published reports. But is he worth it from a fantasy standpoint? We’ll examine that and more as we take a dive into the waiver wire. There are three or four weeks left in your fantasy season, so this is the time to make the solid moves that will get you into the playoffs. So, what about Manziel? Yes, he was a change of pace for the Browns, as he rushed for a touchdown last week, but let’s see why you don’t want him. Tight end Jordan Cameron is questionable for this week after missing his last five games with concussion symptoms. Miles Austin is still hospitalized after taking a hit to his lower back and hurting his kidneys. Andrew Hawkins is the best receiving threat the team has right now that’s healthy. Yes, Josh Gordon is there too, but I would want to see how Manziel works with all of his weapons before seeing how much he impacts fantasy values on Lake Erie. The Browns finish the season with Indianapolis, Cincinnati, Carolina in Week 16 and Baltimore in Week 17. The chances are there for Manziel to throw it a bunch and get the all-important rushing yardage as well with a pair of weak rush defenses during the fantasy playoffs. Dare we say it, Manziel could be a nice play down the stretch if you want a quarterback with a good situation that you can pick up now.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Happy busiest bar day of the year! Every year, your local bars will fill up the night before Thanksgiving with people coming home for the holidays or looking to get a jump start on their extended weekends. They may also be drowning the misery of the great family feast or the loneliness of having nowhere to go. It’s a time honored tradition of bar folk that is greater than the call of old St. Pat’s. Trust me on this one, I’ve spent too many years and have too many friends in the industry. But one thing is for sure, you can always bury your head in a glass of something to run away from whatever pains you. Let’s toast to that! Good, now that I got you all a little liquored up, let’s talk about fantasy football. *pours fresh glass of scotch* It’s a horrible horrible game that kills you a little more each and every week with the maddening calls you have to make as you not only try to figure out if “your guy” will perform but if his coach will give him enough snaps at being relevant. Okay, enough of this rambling. Let’s look at this week’s battle…

Note: All evaluations are based on 0.5 PPR, and ranks are from FantasyPros.com

Please, blog, may I have some more?

If you don’t remember from last week, and since most people don’t remember what they had for breakfast I wouldn’t be surprised, we discussed that paying down at QB makes sense unless under extreme circumstances if you are using the rule of 5. If you don’t remember but wish you did, well, here. The concept revolves directly around how much can you reasonably expect from your QB vs a skill position. Now, Drew Brees scored over 32 this last week. At 8.2K, that was probably the best return you could’ve expected and was close to 4x value. But the second best? Eli Manning with over 27 at 5.8K. Sure, you lost 5 points but you gained 2.4K to spend on skill positions. Skill positions that could score you 39.4 points (Odell Beckham) or 36.7 (Demaryius Thomas). It’s that wiggle room you want to create from QB by playing matchups so you can pay up at the skill positions most weeks. Wanna know who gives me that wiggle this week? Alex Smith. Not that kind of wiggle. Gross. Don’t look at his season stats to weigh his $6,200 price tag. Instead, look back on weeks where KC had to throw to keep in the game. I can already tell you you’re not looking in the right place. That’s his 2014 game log. You’ll find nothing there. Go back nearly a full year to week 12 of 2013 and you’ll see a healthy line against the Broncos where he threw for 293 yards, 2 TDs and ran for 46 yards. Sure, doesn’t sound that exciting but it’s roughly 24 points and gives you the chance to pair with…oh, I’m getting ahead of myself so you’ll just have to read on. Here’s my red hot takes for the week 13 DK slate…

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 10 team league of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It lets us know that you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Follow me, if you will, into the minds of the casual DraftKings player. Casual player sees Kyle Orton and how badly he played on Thursday Night Football. Casual player is disgusted by this. Casual player is even more disgusted by Kyle’s neck beard. Casual player is never playing Orton in any fantasy situation, ever. Well, sorry casuals but that’s how you lose: by saying never. That’s the great thing about this here game we play. It’s daily, not seasonal. You don’t have to own Kyle the entire year, you just have to own him for the right matchup and when the price is right, you’re even better off. Now I’m gonna discuss a bit of strategy. It’s a general way of processing or viewing your salaries over there on the DK. Take those salaries and divide them by 1,000. That should give you some kind of decimal point. For Kyle this week because he’s $5,400, that number would be 5.6. Now take that decimal number and multiply it by 5. For Orton, that gives you (5.6*5=) 28. Casual players don’t do this which is why casual players let a start at home against an opponent who’ve given up the most fantasy points per game to opposing QBs on the year slide by. To date, the Jets have given up 25 passing touchdowns to only 3 INT. Oh and the last time Orton faced them? He collected 4 of those TDs and zero of those INT, finishing with 26.12 DK points. Now I’m not making the promise he’ll do that again but here’s a little dirty DK secret. Those top tier QBs? Yeah, they’re priced about 9K most weeks. So for example, Aaron Rodgers is 9,900 this week. That’s nice. So for him to really reach a good value for you in a tourney, you either need (9.9*5=) 49.5 points from him – his highest point output this year is 39.6 – or you need to find values around him at much lower price tags that will go off. Trust me, I’ve been there and it’s hard to do. It’s much simpler to aim for a lower priced QB with a good matchup most weeks. It’s just too hard to find that blend and be that handicapped at the skill positions most weeks to warrant such a thing. I know, I know, none of this says Orton’s any good but was Austin Davis when he threw for 375 against the Eagles? Yeah, not so much. If given the opportunity to pay down at QB, most weeks follow Nike’s mantra and just do it. All this to say, if you can’t tell, I’m strictly calling Orton a GPP only play this week. Heck, he could get pulled at halftime after the kiss of death vote of confidence on Monday. But it’s hard to imagine that happening so I’ll be rolling with him plenty. But enough about neck beards, let’s get on with this. Here are my red hot takes for the week 12 DK slate…

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 10 team league of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It lets us know that you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Week 9: 7-6, Overall: 55-48-1, Locks: 5-1

Greetings! Beddict’s back in the hizzy, already 0-1 this week after Andy Dalton was brought to his knees as if he was Miley Cyrus, after spiking (NSFW… kinda) her own drink with multiple mollys. I apologize, for I feel wrong comparing Andy Dalton to someone with real talent. Is there anything grosser than Miley going full camel toe, sticking her demonic tongue out, and twerking that pasty pancake ass? Sure there is… Andy Dalton playing QB in the National Football League. That was one of the most embarrassingly pathetic performances I’ve witnessed from a QB in my many days upon this earth. Not since Curtis “Putrid” Painter started almost the entire season when the Colts were tanking (not talked about enough) to get Andrew Luck, have I been cursed with watching such peon like play. Seems like a great guy in real life though… moving on. Let’s get to this week’s picks, shall we? The quest for the perfect week continues.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

If you know anything about me, or at least have read more than a few articles, you’ll know that I have a few movies in my referential lexicon that I lean on heavily. Number will will probably always be Anchorman. I mean, seriously, within 17 weeks of fantasy football, San Diego gets referenced at least 17 times. How could you NOT go with the German definition when presented the opportunity? Rhetorical. Sixty percent of the time you do it…every time. So let that bring us to the present where I am yet again quoting a movie but this one might be before your time. I don’t know how young you are. Based on some of your texting-based understanding of the human language, I’m guessing at least 30% of you are of the ‘Y’ generation. Don’t worry, I can still understand what you’re saying even if you don’t use punctuation and end sentences with ‘LOL’ and don’t worry part two, I ain’t mad atcha nor am I picking on you. If there were ever a request for Samuel Johnson truncated, you’d have nailed it. Thankfully, my movie reference isn’t THAT old. Nah, I’m just looking back at The Neverending Story. I don’t know if it’s on Netflix. Damn, now that I say that I HOPE it’s on Netflix. FALCOR! But more to the point, Marshawn Lynch was one of the bigger disappointments for DK players last week but I’m here to tell you, dammit it wasn’t his fault! He had a TD called back and for what it’s worth, the Rams played a very good game, which limited his grind down yardage as he finished with a miserable 2.9 ypc and ended with a defeating 9.1 DK points on the day. Not quite what people signed up for when paying $7,100. Oddly, his price point hasn’t changed this week. Given he’s facing the Panthers – a team that is giving up 5,29 ypc to opposing runners – staying the course with Marshawn makes a lot of sense. Marshawn should be a good get for both cash and GPP given his price and him coming off a frustrating week 7. But that’s so last week, let’s talk about this week. Here are my hot takes for this week’s DK slate…

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 10 team league of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It lets us know that you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Welcome back, my lovelies! Here we are again, hooptie-ridin’ into Week 8. Yours truly managed to go a solid 4-2 this past week, which was not too bad considering most of my rosters now are waiver wire pickups and those few grounds crew guys I picked up back in Week 3 (Manuel is currently my all-time points leader). It also seems that the trip to the Voodoo Mambo, to rid me of the Black Widow curse, helped somewhat, as I managed to get through Week 7 without any of my players incurring concussions, blown knees, felonies, misdemeanors, or severed appendages. But, hey, it is Monday night at 8:00 PM as I am writing this, and I still have a couple guys playing tonight, so… anything is possible. Before I decide to feast upon more man souls this week, follow me and my spectacular breasts (they still don’t inhibit my ability to throw down some Fantasy Football knowledge) as we journey together into Hit it or Quit it: Week 8.

Please, blog, may I have some more?