So many significant and/or season ending injuries in the NFL this past week.  By the time Thursday comes around there has already been a lot written about these situations, specifically how to value the backups.  The aspect that you probably haven’t seen covered as much at Razzball is how to value the players lost for the season in keeper or dynasty leagues.  So that’s what I’ll be hitting on.  For the players who have suffered less severe injuries, it’s important that we get a handle on their recovery times.  In other words, to properly value Jeremy Langford, we have to know the extent of Matt Forte‘s injury, which is easier said than done.  First I’ll discuss the players with season ending injuries, starting with the most valuable fantasy football players.

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What a propaganda piece that Vine of 2014 C.J. Spiller is.  For one thing, it could give the impression the result of the play was a TD.  It wasn’t, in fact he scored zero rushing TDs last year.  Instead it was his last snap of 2014.  Yes, that’s the play he was injured on.  This sums up why he must be one of the more frustrating running backs to own (I can’t say, I’ve never owned him).  There is new optimism for him because he has left the Bills for the Saints and with that move comes some hope that he will be utilized correctly as a committee back who can make plays in space.  In general the fantasy powers that be are ranking him about right — he’s the 23rd RB in FantasyPros ECR (expert consensus rankings).  I think many folks rank him in the 24-30 range so the bump to 23rd comes from those experts ranking him in the 15-20 range and that’s too high for me.  This post will explain why.

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What’s up Razzicans! If you are still here, you are either still playing or just can’t let us go. If it’s the latter, then all I can say is watch this and don’t take it personal. I’m kidding, glad to have you. We’re doing something a little different this week to close out the 2014 fantasy season. I’m also writing this post with my pants on for once. (It’s about as awkward as that one time I wore boxers to gym class during wrestling week.) Here is the breakdown, I’m covering the NFC games and my boy Ralph is covering the AFC later today. I’m gonna gloss over the players that should be usable and play the whole game or at least have some level of relevance.

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Can I tell you that due to the title of this post, I get some of the kinkiest followers on Twitter? Let’s just say I didn’t realize the “handcuff market” was so vast and expansive. Because these people are following me and supporting my efforts here, I feel it only necessary to give them a shout out. To all the weird fetish sites that obviously have never read a word of my writing, thanks for the follow and keep up the good work!

Now onto business, lots of handcuffs to discuss due to some evolving situations in Phoenix, Cleveland, Minnesota, and New Orleans…

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In a thrilling day of footballing, there were nine games decided by a touchdown or less, three games decided by a field goal or less, and two overtime victories. It was enough to make some teams (looking directly at you Jim Caldwell and the Lions) wonder why someone like Alex Henery, who single-handedly (or footedly? Is that a word?) lost the game against the Kyle Orton led Bills 17-14, (to what was a 58-yard field goal to Dan Carpenter) still holds a job in the NFL. Missing one field goal is okay. Missing two is unacceptable. Missing three in a game, one of which came with 51 seconds remaining… well… if anything, Henery should be immediately cut just for allowing the above photo to be a thing. Fun fact: If you look up the word “d*ckish” in the dictionary, you’ll find a smug Jim Schwartz smiling right back at you. And while you could easily see getting carried off the field after beating Detroit in the fifth week of the regular season as the most Buffalo thing ever (landing as a tie with eating and drinking too much before sobbing uncontrollably… or is that Cleveland?), apparently asking your team to do this in the preseason, as far back as OTA’s seems, I don’t know, spiteful? Smarmy? Maladjusted? Well, to be fair, with Schwartz, no one would ever see him being that kind of guy… But hey, some good came out of this. Kyle Orton threw for over 300+ yards with a touchdown against the number one ranked defense in the NFL, which is pretty good. And probably the eighth sign that the end of the world is here.

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We’re in this together!

I know, I’m asking a lot of you. After capping off the day of football with the Sunday Night Game, it soon dawned upon me how scary it is that this division will, at some point in time, produce, at the very most, one playoff team. It’s a scary thought, especially since it was manifested watching a Saints secondary that I should buy to use as a spaghetti strainer. Anything that allows the Cowboys to have consecutive competent drives is something this world isn’t ready for. And it wasn’t just this one game either. You had the Falcons collapse against a Vikings team that has lost it’s best player in Adrian Peterson, is starting a rookie quarterback in Teddy Bridgewater, and still believes Christian Ponder deserves a roster spot in the NFL. Ugh. And then you have the Jacksonville Jaguars Tampa Bay Buccaneers, who, we don’t need to spend too much time on. Because Bucs are gonna Buc, amiright? And last, but certainly not least, (because, in a stunning turn of events, they are currently occupying first place in this travesty of a division), the Carolina Panthers. Who, apparently, didn’t take Steve Smith’s death threats seriously and proceeded to get maimed in Baltimore. Which is actually pretty common, now that I think of it. And yes, just to state for the record, their secondary collected a game check this week. That is all.

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So, if you don’t know what to make of this year so far, join my club. I just started it, but looking at the numbers… yes, it appears the entire Earth is already a member. There are so many fascinating and ridiculous and unfortunate and just plain dumb things happening all around us this year, it’s no wonder that Wes Welker took a Molly. Wait a second… WHAT IF WE’RE ALL ON MOLLY? It’s almost as if Rust Cohle is writing my life at the moment. “Someone once told me, ‘Time is a flat circle.’ Everything we’ve ever done or will do, we’re gonna do over and over and over again.” Alright-alright-alright. I’ll be sure to tell my grand kids about that. In the meantime, I’ll have to seek out some kind of solution as how to grasp the events that this season has wrought upon us all. I hear whiskey is nice this time of the year…

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Dear Running Backs,
What the hell is going on? Seriously guys, not only are you getting injured at an alarming rate, but your off the field antics are ridiculous, and not ridiculous in a Dennis Rodman fun idiot kind of way. Let’s take a minute to reflect. More than likely we the fantasy football collective will be without Adrian Peterson, Ray Rice, Jamaal Charles (maybe not), Ryan Matthews, Mark Ingram, Knowshon Moreno, Doug Martin and Jonathan Dwyer for several weeks. Oh okay, yeah, no one cares about Jonathan Dwyer, but you get my point. That’s seven starting running backs and we’re only two weeks into the season. Early in the fantasy baseball season we talked about the closerpocalypse well this is the runningbackalypse. I fully expect another three to be injured and Matt Forte to be found out as the real life Buffalo Bill by the time this blog posts. It’s been that kind of year. As corny dancehall reggae artist Elephant Man would say ju-kno! Well I guess the silver lining is there were plenty of intriguing handcuffs promoted to starter in the last week. Some are temporary, others could be more permanent, and some tried to get in on the runningbackalypse. Either way here are the ones to keep an eye on.

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Welcome to the real world, where the Saints are 0-2 and 80’s pop music cries, waiting to be recognized once again.  Now, I am not one to go off on tangents or shed tears for the Saints at all, the team’s problem is and will be defense all year.  Khiry Robinson comes up after the broken wings of Mark Ingram, whose injury has given Khiry the uniform of youth.  And by that, I mean the starters pinny, that we as fantasy footballians covet from a late round pick.   It’s love, not because I wish the Saints offense was more black and white, but because they are a pass-happy bunch that grinds it at the goal line.  I get it, and I hope they don’t slow down and run to her (her being the end zone), early and often.  So if I had my way, I would sculpt the Saints playbook with my own hands, and include the versatile backs that they employ down in the shadows of Lake Pontchartrain.  So here’s what I foresee happening this week with Khiry, and why if you are in a bind with injuries or insecurities about roster spots, he may be a good bet to net you some positives this week.

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Rarely do we see a week so overabundant in the injury department.  Millions of fantasy teams were brought to their knees (likely ‘cuz they have no ankles to support them) after the seemingly endless amounts of bones, ligaments and tendons that were demolished in Week 3’s slate of NFL games. Fantasy football owners are going to be racing to the wire this week to replace their fallen and it’s important that you are kept up-to-date with who to grab and who not to grab…

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