What the heck just happened.  Smooth sailing on the ship of the S.S. Fantasy, and then, we hit the large iceberg known as the “injury”.  From a fellow owner of the some of the guys injured, like most of you, survival mode is kicking into high gear.  The news about Keenan Allen is particularly troubling, because I completely bought into Allen, drinking the Kool-aid preseason and basically owning him everywhere.  I even own him in the two-team league that I share with my mom.  Yeah it’s sad, but we share a league, but draft six teams a piece.  The winner gets a sundae at the local ice cream shop with unlimited toppings.  The league is fun, but not accepting new applicants!  So back to the land of Whale’s Vaginas and who in Sam hell will benefit from the pass happy attack of the Bolts.  The names are fairly well bantered around fantasy circles: Stevie Johnson and  Malcolm Floyd are the main beneficiaries of the unfortunate-ness that is the kidney injury to Keenan.  So what you are asking yourself is who to grab, who will be the main beneficiary and basically what the hell do you do with the void that is a WR2 that you now (and me) have.  Well, the good news is that in the sum of several 100 words, the answer or for lack of a phrase, the non-answer will pronounce itself like a lighthouse set in the middle of Iowa.  So hang out, get relaxed, and put on some comfy pants for the next 2-7 minutes, depending on reading level and we can talk this out in a group format.

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As we pick up the pieces in Week 8’s aftermath, the injury Gods have once again smiled on me, and shat on all of you. In last week’s post, I proclaimed that I was rooting for injuries from here on out, and as Megadeath once said, “Killing is my business… and business is good!” So do I care that Le’Veon Bell’s knee crumbled like Tehol’s self respect after being tricked into trappin’ on a weekend trip to FLA? No! No, I do not. My job is not to sob with you, oh no. My job is to slap you in the face, get you to man up, stop crying, and prepare for the war ahead. I’m like General Patton, but for fantasy sports and with a Jewish last name. I think the easiest way to put it is, we got injuries y’all. There is a very solid chance that there is a team out there that three weeks ago boasted Jamaal Charles, Arian Foster, Steve Smith, and Joseph Randle. That guy was probably pretty smug at the time, because his team was probably pretty good. Now he’s panicking like a cabbage in an Irish garden. If you were a good friend, you’d send him here, tell him to ask a question, and let him know it will be alright. If you’re anything like me, you’d give him some bad advice, send him here for even worse advice, and bluntly state “You’re screwed Brah”. But let’s forget that hypothetical owner for a moment, his girlfriend is too hot for him anyway, and he smells like mothballs. We got injuries on injuries this week, so let’s get into it. Here are your wavier wire adds for Week 9 of Fantasy Football…

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Just like Oprah with her giveaways, the football gods certainly gave us a lot of injuries to have to deal with in football and also to deal with in fantasy football. That is what this post is for though, to figure out the treats from the tricks (yeah, yeah, it was late but it still works).

Firstly, we are dealing with the season-ending injury of a consistent fantasy football contributor and one of the best wide receivers to ever play the game. Steve Smith Sr. went down on Sunday with a torn Achilles and is out for the season. Arguably the only wide receiver/tight end worth owning in Baltimore, the task will fall onto a rag-tag bunch of misfits. Now, whether or not the Ravens actually go out and try to acquire a wide receiver before the trade deadline on November 3rd is another story. But for the time being, considering who is there… it’ll be hard to figure out who will pick up the slack. But when Smith down with his back injury before, Kamar Aiken was the one who seemed to be the biggest beneficiary of Smith’s absence. He had two straight weeks of 75+ yards (Week 4 and 5) receiving and saw the most targets of any Ravens wide receiver during that span. He is immediately thrust into an inconsistent WR3 zone that owners need to grab, as first round pick Breshad Perriman does not seem like he will be playing this season. Aiken may not be worth playing right away, but he deserves to be on benches for those who are lacking wide receiver depth.

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Jay’s updated his Week 16 Rankings for tonight’s games: the Eagles vs. Washington, and Chargers vs. 49ers. Check them out here!

It’s fantasy championship week.  I hope that you have made it to your respective fantasy finals, and that you’re in line to win major candy bars with a victory this weekend.  With the holidays next week, there won’t be a start and sit article for Week 17.  However, as the offseason approaches, there will still be plenty to read on the site, and within the coming weeks, I’ll have a way-too-early top 100 for 2015 posted on the site and numerous other strategy, draft and other articles to hold you over.

Let’s get to it, shall we?

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Welcome back, my lovelies!  Here we are at Week 16 already!  Wow, this time has really flown by this season.  Okay, maybe not, but I was trying to be positive there for a second.  Let’s be honest, this Fantasy Football season has totally blown dead bunnies, with Week 15 being the worst of the worst, well, not for my “Black Widow” Curse anyway.  In that regard, Week 15 was like a feast fit for a King…or Queen in this respect.  My Fantasy Updates were popping up faster than Welker on Molly with one injury report after another.  Concussions and broken bones and severed spines, oh my!  I think my curse gained at least 1500 pounds on the man souls it managed to gorge on over the weekend.  And, like the true selfless beauty I am, I made sure it feasted on my own rosters, and not yours…well, not all of yours anyway.  I am a giver as much as a taker.  It’s all about balance.  Most of you are in the same position as me right now, and it is not a pretty one.  We are forced to look at fifth and sixth stringers and we’ve had to dig so deep in depth charts that we are close to striking oil or finding some old dinosaur bones or something.  Whatever it may be, one thing is for certain, fantasy football is a game of chance, plain and simple, just like dating.  So, let’s cruise the fantasy football version of match.com, see what rejects are left for us to pick up, so that we can continue to limp those hoopties into Week 16, and, by the grace of God, possibly a playoff victory.  Get in, sit down, strap up, and hold on, my lovelies, it’s time for Hit it or Quit it, Week 16.

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The election is finally over.  As someone that doesn’t want to pay my cable company for DVR (they charge an additional $15!  I’ll just play on my phone for two minutes, thank you very much.), I couldn’t be happier that there are no more political ads.  They just don’t make sense to me.  You’re going […]

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So this was it.  This was the night that Matt Cassel could’ve saved his starting job.  Could’ve saved the Chiefs from a 1-7 start and from forcing Chiefs fans into watching the Brady Quinn era unfold before their nearly gouged out eyes.  Cassel could not have asked for a better matchup to prove his mettle […]

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Is there anything better then NFL football? Well, maybe NFL football with NFL referees, but hey, it’s not stopping me from watching. How has this sport not caught on worldwide? Truly befuddling. But who cares about any other countries? This is America baby. We don’t do Royal families (though the Kardashians are close). We don’t […]

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