Aaron Jones Reeks of Limburger

November 11, 2019 | Fantasy Football Daily Notes | 18 Comments

Few people know why the Packers are called “Cheeseheads.” It’s tradition: the worst Packer performer from the previous week is bestowed with a chunk of stinky Limburger cheese which is stuffed into the bottom of their helmet for the following game. In week 9, Aaron Jones took 8 carries for 30 yards and hauled in 1 catch for -1 yards. Needless to say, he was Mr. Limburger for their week 10 game against Carolina and their dairy boy tracked down an extra stinky piece of cheese for this contest. This wedge of stank carried such a putrid scent that the Panthers defense gave the Packer running back a little extra space to roam on Sunday afternoon. Aaron Jones took full advantage, rumbling for 93 yards and 3 touchdowns on 13 carries—he now has an impressive 14 touchdowns on the season. Rest of Season Player Rater has him listed as RB#10 and I’d even bump him a couple spots higher. Anyway, here’s what else I saw during yesterday’s late games in fantasy football:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

RazzBowl Revelations: Highscool Flashbacks

November 2, 2019 | RazzBowl | 5 Comments

by: Donkey Teeth

As a much younger donkey I tried out for the highschool basketball team. I was galloping all over the court at tryouts, nobody could defend me. Really thought I had a spot locked up on the team but when the dreaded cut day came around, they gave me the axe. I guess donkey kicking defenders is “frowned upon.” Pssssh.

Fast forward to present day. RazzBowl cuts are only days away and I’m having flashbacks to basketball tryouts. Half our impressive field of 180 industry competitors, with a handful of fans mixed in, will be eliminated come Monday evening. The night terrors are unbearable!

One person who doesn’t have to worry about the first RazzBowl cut is Pat Fitzmaurice of The Football Girl. Fitzmaurice has now held the lead for three consecutive weeks and has been top 3 in the overall standings for the entire season except for one week when he fell down to 6th place. Pat’s performance to this point has been so dominant that the RazzBowl Committee is considering rebranding the contest as the FitzBowl next year. But the RazzBowl Committee is very corrupt so the CloroxBleachBowl is the front runner.

What makes the RazzBowl especially unique compared to other best ball formats and industry leagues is our addition of a $10 FAAB budget for the entire way season with a minimum of $1 bids. This allows teams to cycle out dead roster spots (e.g. Andrew Luck, Lamar Miller, etc) but it also means each team will only be allowed a maximum of ten moves for the entire season. Every dollar of each competitor’s free agent budget is just as precious as a Bill Belichick smile.

When teams choose to pony up their FAAB, it’s worthwhile to take a look and see why. There could be a goldmine of speculative adds buried in the RazzBowl transactions this season.

Here were the top FAAB buys in the final week of RazzBowl FAAB bidding:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Absolutely FAABulous Week 9 – Ground Control To Captain Kirk

October 29, 2019 | Waiver Wire | 14 Comments

by: Phil B.

I’m still holding onto Johnson, so to speak, since we spent a lot on him last week. Same goes for Edmonds (even with Ken Drake adding to the desert confusion) though it isn’t looking good in the near term. Fear not as better days lie ahead…however some of you can’t afford to wait yet still have FAAB dollars left to spend. Done with hedging, let’s get to spending! (By this point in the season you should’ve spent some FAAB money so we’re updating the amount we have at this point to $50; if you have more by all means add it to the dollar amounts listed here):

Please, blog, may I have some more?

After Last Night, Conner Needs Some AC And A Joint

October 29, 2019 | Fantasy Football Daily Notes | 17 Comments

by: MB

Injuries on the last drive of a football game can be one of the most frustrating parts about fantasy football. You’re at home rolling your eyes with your victory already in the bag wondering why James Conner is still out there with a two touchdown lead over the winless Dolphins. Then it actually happens and your jaw drops and you go numb. James Conner gets up grimacing and holding his slumped shoulder.

It’s hard to get upset from an actual football perspective. The Steelers are 1 first down away from the victory formation and Conner had been running all over the Dolphins all night. Conner just ran into some bad luck. Conner also seems to always be banged up in one way or another. He’s had an ankle issue, a quad issue, and now an AC joint issue and we are only about halfway through the season. I’m not sure what the recovery timetable is for AC joint injuries is, or if he’ll miss any time at all. It’s definitely something we’re going to have to monitor as the week goes along.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

RazzBowl Revelations: Donkey Dreams

October 26, 2019 | 2019 Fantasy Football, RazzBowl | 8 Comments

by: Donkey Teeth

I had a vivid dream last night. It was so real. I was in bed, buck naked, with my supermodel girlfriend on one side and the RazzBowl trophy nestled on my other side. When I awoke, only one of the objects of my affection was actually there: the RazzBowl trophy. That’s right, I sleep naked with the RazzBowl trophy every night! And my supermodel girlfriend is out of town for the weekend doing supermodel stuff.

But there’s another man with his eyes and heart set on the now moist RazzBowl trophy: Pat Fitzmaurice of The Football Girl. Our top dog, Fitzmaurice, has extended his lead out to a commanding 38 points and has now held the lead back to back weeks and, maybe even more impressively, his squad has been top 3 in the overall standings for the entire season except for one week when he fell down to 6th place. Can he close the deal and lay with the fabled RazzBowl trophy? Only time will tell.

When teams choose to pony up their FAAB, it’s worthwhile to take a look and see why. There could be a goldmine of speculative adds buried in the RazzBowl transactions this season.

Here were the top buys from the penultimate RazzBowl FAAB run (FAAB ends after next week’s run), along with some donkey thoughts:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Absolutely FAABulous Week 8: Chasing Edmonds

October 22, 2019 | Waiver Wire | 23 Comments

by: Phil B.

Real quick want to bring up Sunday tinkering. In a league where I have Patrick Mahomes, Davante Adams and Alvin Kamara (I promise I won’t talk about my team for long, but it’s my column, so bear down with me) I knew it was a loss after Mahomes went down Thursday night with seven points. I had no good flex, so I put Chase Edmonds in. Great call, right?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

RazzBowl Revelations: Pour One Out for Our Fallen Mahomies

October 19, 2019 | RazzBowl | 4 Comments

by: Donkey Teeth

It’s with great sadness that I write this weekly RazzBowl update. Team Donkey Teeth has just lost one of it’s best less than 48 hours ago. Fortunately, although my Mahomey is down, it seems he may not be out for the count. My emergency Mahomes prayer hexagon assembled yesterday and has succeeded in saving the top QB’s season, at least for now. The joy of football Sunday’s won’t be quite the same for the next couple weeks, but rest assured my team will persevere. I’ll be taking the rest of the guys apple picking today to lift their spirits and next week I’ve arranged for a nude body painting class—team morale will soon be at all-time highs. Things are pointing up, if you know what I mean.

Shifting our attention over to the RazzBowl overall standings, Pat Fitzmaurice of The Football Girl has reclaimed the top spot in the standings once again with a 13 point lead over Adam Ronis of Fulltime Fantasy and Sirius XM. Michael Stepney of The Fantasy Authority hangs onto 3rd place as our top 3 have separated themselves from the pack with a 37 point drop off to Danny Kelly of The Ringer in 4th place. With only 3 weeks remaining until the bottom half of every league is eliminated and the playoffs commence; it’s time to buckle down!

When teams choose to pony up their FAAB, it’s worthwhile to take a look and see why. There could be a goldmine of speculative adds buried in the RazzBowl transactions this season.

Here were the top buys from the FAAB-poor RazzBowlers this week, along with some donkey thoughts:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Handcuff Report: Bad Boyz of Week 11

November 16, 2018 | 2018 Fantasy Football, 2018 Fantasy Football Roster Strategy | 9 Comments

by: Nic Romero

Week 11 is upon us and another heavy bye week for us to manage with 6 teams on bye. Luckily, week-12 is the last of the byes with just two teams off.

Only one new name to talk about this week, but we’ll touch on a couple of repeat offenders that are worth updating. Since it is a light week, I start you with a few nuggets heading in to your playoffs. Let’s win you a championship or at least some money if your league pays more than first place.

All of you fall in to one of the following buckets: playoff spot locked up, fighting/jockeying for a final spot, or no chance at all. If you are fighting to lock up a playoff spot, you need to win now and dominate your weekly matchups. The focus is on finding every extra fantasy point you can grab. Is there a better defensive matchup for you to stream? What about a kicker? Maybe even a better QB matchup if you are juggling middle tier QBs on your roster. I’ve seen players like Marcus Mariota, Carson Wentz, Russel Wilson and somehow Mitchel Trubisky pop on waivers as league-mates manage byes. Dak Prescott has a couple of nice matchups down the stretch. If you have a bench warmer that has not or will not hit your starting lineup this season then you should not hesitate dropping him. If it means getting better for a one week matchup then make the move. This needs to be your mentality as we head down the stretch. Scratching and crawling for every point to lock up your final playoff spot.

If you are lucky enough to have a playoff spot locked up then you need to take advantage of the luxuries that come along with it. Do not fall asleep at the wheel. You have worked your tail off to get to this point. My nuggets for you– grab your handcuff now and pick up a defense with a juicy week 14, 15, or 16 matchup. If you know you are getting a bye then only focus on the weeks you will be playing. Even if it is just a nice one week matchup. Don’t worry about having a defense that has a sweet matchup this week. Does it really matter if you finish 3 or 4th seed if you know you are going to make it either way?

Here are a couple of defenses that have plus matchups: Steelers vs Oak (WK14,) Texans vs Jets (WK15), Bills vs NYJ & DET (WK14,15), Titans vs NYJ, JAX, NYG, & WSH (WK13-14-15-16). I really like the Titans D heading down the stretch and they are on waivers this week with a matchup against Andrew Luck and the Colts.

If you fall in the last bucket and have no chance, don’t give up. It is your goal to ruin someones playoff hopes. Is anything more demoralizing than finishing last in your fantasy league? Do you have an embarrassing punishment for finishing last? Don’t let that be you.

I will wrap this up and get to your names. As noted before, reviewing your leagues transaction history is crucial. Look ahead to your playoff schedule and defensive matchups. Can you leverage a trade to bolster a weak spot on your roster come playoff time. This is the last week for trades in most leagues. Drop dead weight and pick up your handcuff.

Boom, let’s go! Here are your week 11 Bad Boyz…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Handcuff Report, Week 5: Bad Boyz

October 5, 2018 | 2018 Fantasy Football, 2018 Fantasy Football Roster Strategy | 18 Comments

by: Nic Romero

Would you believe me if I told you that bye weeks are a positive thing in Fantasy Football? Yes, managing our waiver acquisitions and benches while we fill in for our players on bye can be a headache but there is a silver lining here (I’m on a roll with these movie references).

I have no clue who @pahowdy is but he just got a plug in my weekly handcuff report, good for him. The only thing I would add to this tweet is it applies just as much to season long leagues.

While your opposing owners are desperately trying to cover players on bye, valuable fantasy assets are popping on waivers for us savvy owners to scoop up. Let me know if you’ve heard this one before….one man’s trash in another man’s treasure. Well, this is your opportunity to pick up that trash.

Remember when you, Melvin Gordon and Alex Collins owners, missed out on Austin Ekeler and Javorius Allen because they were the hottest waiver add week 1-2. Well, in a number of my leagues I’ve noticed these early season waiver adds are starting to get dumped as owners scramble to fill in their byes. Comb through your leagues transaction history after each waiver period moving forward to see if you can find any treasure. Your goal is to build for your playoff run and ultimately your championship. Savvy moves like this can push you over the top. The probability of starters getting injured only increases as the season wears on and player usage piles up.

Now on to this weeks’ Bad Boyz report…

Please, blog, may I have some more?