Boys and Girls, I’m finishing business school and I thought it was going to be incredibly hard to go out and find job opportunities in the real world. I enjoy waking up at 10:30 AM every day to eat a bowl of cereal and then trudge over to class, then head home watch Netflix or play video games, get a workout in, then maybe some lady time. I’m enjoying the life right now, but it is coming to an end. My generation of young adults hears that the job market is small and that we’re all going to be hobos or living with our families for a good portion of our life until we all have Phd’s, win the lottery, or  sue someone or a company because they screwed up big time. To my surprise, I have had four firms this past week ask me to come in for interviews. I even woke up today with a voicemail and E-mail asking me to come in tomorrow to talk business. I do not want to leave my current 10:30 AM wake ups, but my prospects of not being homeless and doing lots of drugs are really looking up. Thanksgiving day Football will have already been finished when my post goes live, so I apologize for that, but I can’t help but enjoy all these companies calling me and asking to learn about what I can provide them…

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brady

For Halloween this year I heard that many computers are masquerading as The Stats Machine. Just so there is no confusion, let me set the record straight and say that there is only one Stats Machine. It’s formula cannot be duplicated as it is only documented in the mind of its creator. Me. For the last seven weeks TSM has cranked out its interpretation of every players performance and reported to you who it believed were the cream of the crop. The upper crust if you will. The Stats Machine doesn’t care about how many fantasy points a player scores. Instead it looks at raw performance (stats). Opportunity (snaps and targets). And opposing defenses. After the first four weeks of the season I instructed TSM to spit out its YTD rankings. Let’s compare those rankings to the current YTD rankings as defined only by fantasy points. In simpler terms, let’s see how the players TSM ranked as the best are now doing based on fantasy points scored after seven weeks…

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Every week I’m amazed that, theoretically, it is very possible to drop my entire team after Monday night’s game and rebuild a winning team with the scraps that are available on the waiver wire. I say theoretically because I really wanted to use that word in this post. That’s not completely true. I say as much because, as they say, hindsight is 20/20. By the way, who the heck are “they”? It’s easy to read Monday morning’s newspaper and pick out the top performers that no one saw coming. After all, that is why they are on the waiver wire in the first place. The skill is being able to identify those players prior to Sunday. Let’s take a look at this week’s collection of misfits that together, combined for over 200 points (201.98).
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Three words Jim Bob Cooter. Why do I begin this week’s edition of Through The Wire with the name of the Lions newly promoted Offensive Coordinator? Not because I feel his advancement will have any sort of positive impact upon the Lions offense. No, not at all, but for two very specific reasons, that are completely unrelated to football.

1. His birth name isn’t Jim Bob. It’s is in fact James Robert Cooter. To this I say he chose the Jim Bob life. That says a great deal about a person.

2. He’s a creep who likes to get a little silly, by breaking into woman’s bedrooms and stripping down to his tightie whities.

So now that I’ve been given my medium to express my feelings of appreciation for all that is The Coot, let’s move on to more pressing matters.I not going to do what everybody thinks I’m going to, and that’s talk about the Arian Foster injury and freak out man. Instead I’m going to quite simply state that I’m rooting for injuries at this point. So Arain Foster’s torn Achilles, good for business. On that note, here are your Week 8 wavier wire adds.

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With Halloween this weekend, the country has been consumed with ranking their favorite sweets. The divergent opinions and tastes are what make life beautiful and interesting. How boring would the internet be if everyone agreed with each other?

Here are two different descriptions of Butterfinger:

“Butterfingers. We’re not exactly positive what’s going on inside of a Butterfinger — what is it? And why is it orange? — but they sure are delicious. Nobody’s gonna lay a finger on my Butterfinger (both a good candy strategy and a euphemism for something inappropriate, probably).”- ETonline.com

“Oh come on; this can’t have been designed for human consumption. This isn’t a candy bar, this is a chocolate-coated grenade filled with shrapnel made of peanut brittle. I feel like Butterfinger was an elaborate prank that got to the point where it was too embarrassing to call it off, so they just went with it, and because of Bart Simpson, people still buy the f***ing things (I’M OLD).”- Jezebel.com

What’s this have to do with football? Butterfinger may be an acceptable name for a candy, but not for a football player that’s paid to catch the ball… The average catch rate lies in the low-to-mid 60% range. The player I’m going to talk about today has posted eight seasons under 60% and is currently at 50% for 2015.

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Jeremy Maclin (concussion) missed practice on Wednesday. Occasionally you see a player suffer a concussion on Sunday and return to practice by Wednesday.  At another extreme, you have players that miss several weeks with a concussion, something that seems to happen to players with a concussion history.  To my knowledge, Maclin does not have a history of suffering concussions, but I suspect he’ll miss this week.  I’m thinking it’s a one or two week injury, but with the Chiefs having their bye in week 9 expect him back no later than Week 10.

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Let’s just have another article about the waiver wire dandies that are the Kansas City Chiefs running back situation, seems original!  The Google hit limit has been exceeded by fantasy writers who aren’t really breaking anything new to the news story that is the demise of J.C. and the rise of West and Davis.  Be creative man, that’s why Lego kits are more fun when you go rogue and build a space blimp instead of a firetruck as per your purchase.  Instead of pursuing more dirt to throw onto the fantasy run game abyss in K.C., I am going flip it and reverse it and instead pick on their defense this week that takes on the Minnesota Vikings.  Because there is nothing like spitting on the grave of fantasy-dom then kicking their butts on both sides of the ball.  So this week, I am turning my black light away from it’s normal duty of inspecting the geography of hotel rooms and pointing it at Stefon Diggs.  At first glance, and after numerous minutes of research I have come to the conclusion that he is not related to the Damon Wayons character fro the The Last Boy Scout.  I was made aware of this by him being a fake made up character in a movie and Stefon being an actual WR asset for you this week.  Open Pandora’s box and continue down the fantasy worm whole known as my imagination…

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wincrab

Well, the 2015 NFL Draft is finally over, and after 29 days (okay, to be fair, it was four days), we can finally get a better picture of how roles, players, teams, game-plans, etc. will take shape as we move closer to the start of the season. The draft itself didn’t have many surprises, in fact, the biggest surprise was Chip Kelly not innovating a trade for Marcos Mariota and actually concluding that Sam Bradford is the answer. He very well could be, but we’d never know as his UCL would implode before that point. Regardless, the first round went about as close to the mocks out there as could be expected, and it’s worth pointing out that the Titans will be facing the Browns in Week 1, setting up a potential match-up between Jameis Winston and Mariota. Only the hottest of takes on Winston will be accepted for that week…

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VtmQ8gD

Without targets, there would be no receptions. Being targeted is the first, and most crucial factor, to the success of a pass catcher. If the ball isn’t thrown in your direction, you cannot succeed. I decided to take a look at how targets were being spread around among each team and then how each player was converting those targets. Below are the results and I’ve included a link to the Excel spreadsheet (Download) containing the full report. This exercise will only be “targeting” wide receivers and tight ends.

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 uk2ZYmu

An artist’s depiction of yesterday’s Cowboys game.

I’ve come to the conclusion that the first every Sunday of football should always have the Dallas Cowboys doing whatever that was they did yesterday afternoon. In fact, let’s start a petition to have them on Monday AND Thursday night as well. I mean, can we even say that the Cowboys actually did anything in training camp? This looks like the exact same team from last year, and I’ve already started decorating my house for the holidays seeing as how the Cowboys are already in mid-December form. True, as the sharp and always entertaining (in gouging your own eyes out sort of way) commentating duo of Joe Buck and Troy Aikman informed us, if not for all the turnovers, this would have been a close game. I’ve never seen something so beautifully and succinctly useless at the same time. If it weren’t for the Normandy landing and the eastern invasion of Russia, Germany had a pretty good World War II. And while the game was technically close without including large portions of events that happened during the game, I was left with this one burning question– What is it called when you throw to a receiver that had 12 people covering him?

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