I have a very interesting story to tell you, the readers. Picture this: Myself, good ol’ Zach, sitting on his couch, cursing Drew Brees. “Why is he cursing Drew Brees?”, asks you. Good question. Yes, I played Drew Brees, and yes, I loved that decision. However, out of the 8 tournaments I played last Sunday, Brees was only in 1 of those lineups. I was really high on Jay Cutler and Joe Flacco, and they did alright (19.54 and 22.60 pts), but they did not have Drew Brees-type games last week. So there I was, Monday morning, convincing myself that I should no longer write for Razzball anymore, and I should just spend the rest of my days rewinding old DVD’s. I had spent nearly $55 on entry fees for tournaments, and I was struggling, only winning $12. But then something happened. Graham Gano happened. 3/3 on FG’s and 2/3 on XP’s. On Tuesday morning, I opened up the FanDuel app, and I yelled, “YES!”, as I realized I still had the willingness to fight. $75 had been won. Thank you Graham Gano (And Jonathan Stewart).

Join myself, Jay, and your fellow readers in a special Razzball-only Contest! Buy-in is just $5.00 and the top-12 finishers in a 55-team league are all part of the prize pool! Sign up here!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Greetings all. I’m here for the first of many DraftKings posts. And by ‘many’ I mean ‘once a week for 17 weeks’. Sounds daunting, I know. Wanna know what’s even more daunting? Trying to write this up two weeks in advance. Yes, you’re talking to August Sky when you comment on here. Well, it will really be September Sky in the comments but he’s commenting for August Sky from here. Do you know how hard it is to be split personalities based on months in the same post? The United States of Tara got nuthin on me! And why am I writing so far into the past you ask? Well, I have a few reasons…32 of’um to be exact. You see, I’m on the final leg of the #32in32in32 tour with Nick Capozzi starting on the 30th of August. That’s in Chicago and here’s me pointing at the spot on that sweet Razzball tour bus where Chicago is just in case regular maps confuse you. I won’t be home until after the first game of the year so I’m thinking ahead and getting the goods to you in a reasonable amount of time, ya dig? So apologies in advance if my info seems more dated than my cultural references. I’m doing my best! But now that we have that covered, let’s go even further into the past. Here’s my Pump & Primer post from earlier this August. It’s a great stop for those of you who are wondering just what the heck this DraftKings business is. BTW, you’ll notice I keep giving you a hyperlink for DraftKings…see I did it again! That’s your ticket to the $100,000 play action tournament care of Razzball if you’re a first time DK’er. And by clicking on that link and signing up through us, you let DK know that we sent you which lets them know we like them. It’s like Valentine’s Day and we’re secret DK admirers and you’re the box of chocolates we’re sending with a note attached saying ‘I wanna make sweet, sweet love to you down by the fire on a polar bearskin rug’. So it’s a win, win situation. Minus the staples you got from the attached note. Sorry about that, we’ll use tape next time. But you’ve already got a DK account, you say, but want something tempting from this post? Well how about Razzball’s 20 Team Week 1 DK Challenge? I reserved my seat back in August, where have you been? But of course, now that we’ve covered the pimping, let’s get to the playing and namely, playing against a bad defense. You see, the Cowboys were easily one of the worst defenses last year. I know, I know, don’t hang your hat on last year’s stats. But what did the Cowboys do to improve? By getting rid of DeMarcus Ware? Last time I checked, losing your best defensive player doesn’t improve your squad. This team is a mess and Jerry Jones is out there doing bathroom selfies in lewd ways to try and forget that he owns it. Speaking of owning, that’s what Colin Kaepernick will do come Sunday. Though I’m not the biggest Kaep guy for the year, I do think this matchup is for him to go hog-wild in given the set up. Colin finishing the day with 30+ points wouldn’t surprise me in the slightest and he’s not even priced in the top five QBs for the day. By the end of the day, Colin will have you saying ‘Oh Kaep-tain, my Kaep-tain, our fearful trip is done, The ship has weather’d every rack, the prize we sought is won’. And not to get all sappy on you but yes, that’s my Robin Williams shout out. Gonna miss you, Mork. Now on with the week one picks for DraftKings contests for 2014 Fantasy Football…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

As we open the season, all of our NFL teams have the same goal— to play in Super Bowl XLIX in Glendale, Arizona on February 1. Our fantasy teams have the same goal— to play in our respective league’s Super Bowl whatever week (usually 16) that it falls on. For some of you, getting there will be difficult if not impossible. Others will find the road to be easy, and cruise through the season. For me, I fall in the latter when it comes to getting to the Super Bowl. That’s mainly because I live about 40 minutes north of University of Phoenix Stadium. Getting to the Super Bowl is easy for me, even if traffic sucks.

That’s what I’m here for. To help you navigate the journey from your starting point to your league’s Super Bowl. We’ll help you avoid the roadblocks of poor play, the detours of bye weeks, and the potholes of injuries. That said, let’s turn the key on the season and start giving some recommendations for players who can be picked up now to help you out in the long term.

Please, blog, may I have some more?