We’re getting to the part of the season where the teams that started hot make way for new teams to start to get hot. The Kansas City Chiefs looked unbeatable until they showed a chink in their armor in Detroit, and the Texans looked pretty pedestrian until recently. The Texans were a popular upset pick for Sunday, but it’s still surprising to see them come back from an early 14 point deficit when it looked like the Chiefs were going to roll right over them. 

The Vikings passing game has looked lethargic so far this season with a lot of the blame being placed on Kirk Cousins when really Kevin Stefanski and Mike Zimmer deserve a lot of the heat. Stefon Diggs, who is one of the most talented wide receivers in the league, was left for dead by this Vikings offense. Until Sunday when he went off for 3 touchdowns. Things in this league can shift at any time. 

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Here at Razzball, we can’t get enough of the Chubb puns. Whether it’s Donkey Teeth, Zach, or myself, we’re going to force our d*ck jokes into you. WOAH! WOAH! WOAH! Personal foul and possible ejection on MB. We’re going to have to bring in Mike Pereira for that one. After further review, I will be allowed to review the early games for you. Later today, you can find Donkey Teeth’s round up of the late afternoon games and the Sunday night tilt. 

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When P&E came into my clinic today I rushed them into my office and closed the door. “Let’s get right down to business” I said, opening up their chart. “The bye week was not kind to you” I mourned as their faces dropped.

“But how?! No one played a game for us!” I had to gently explain that even though their fantasy team was on bye, the real NFL players still had to suit up. Devin Singletary once again showed his incredible efficiency scoring 11.7 fantasy points on just 6 touches. Unfortunately this performance was wasted on the bye week and what’s worse is that he pulled up lame with a hamstring.

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P&E came into the office today for a checkup and I am pleased to report excellent progress with a Week 1 victory!

They got exactly what the doctor ordered, and without a doubt the biggest development was Sammy Watkins. He turned in a historical performance, carrying P&E to an easy victory. Now with Tyreek Hill shelved for a while this team has 2 top 10 WRs to go along with Travis Kelce and Brandin Cooks. What’s more is that Devin Singletary played 70% of Buffalo’s snaps and looks to be one of the first late round RB darts to hit.

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Well that was… Something? Do we live in some sort of simulation where everything that we get excited for ends up being a disappointment? Yesterday was truly an exhausting day to be a fantasy football enthusiast and football fan in general. I’m used to bad Thursday night games to open up the season. It’s pretty much an expectation at this point. But when an unenthusiastic game is preceded by some tidbits of bad news it can put a dark cloud over things. At least the first full Sunday is only two days away!

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The other night I was sitting around, flipping channels when my phone started blowing up with “911” and then “we’ve got a bleeder!” The messages were from a friend of mine who isn’t much of a fantasy footballer but he and his wife (we’ll call them P&E) were wrangled into a couple’s league with some neighborhood friends. It is a 13 team, standard scoring league with a 1/2/2/1/1 starting roster. I watched in horror as the texts continued:

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One of my favorite movie scenes is an obscure moment in Batman (1989) where Grissom is talking to his associate Jack Napier (pre Joker transformation). They are in a deserted office and Grissom, Napier’s boss, is telling him about why he was chosen for an important job. Grissom grips him by the shoulders and hisses “you’re my…numbah one…guuyyy”. It’s both creepy and awesome. I feel like I am telling this to each and every player on a weekly basis as I slide them into my lineup.

Since I am in an all time high 18 fantasy football leagues this year, I have a lot of guys. But only a select few have the honor of being so cherished by me that I have invested heavily. These leagues range from a long running standard redraft to  startup 2 QB superflex PPR devy league and everything in between. Because of this, some draft strategies have been different than others, but overall I clearly have some soft spots for certain players.  If you like reading about other people’s fake football teams, proceed!

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If you ask 100 fantasy analysts who they have as their #1 QB in fantasy, I’m sure 100/100 would tell you that it’s Patrick Mahomes. However, if you then ask them who their #2 QB in fantasy is, and you’ll get a variety of answers. Some will tell you it’ll be Andrew Luck. Some have Deshaun Watson. Some are going back to the Aaron Rodgers well. However, I’m here to tell you that we should be strongly considering Baker Mayfield as the QB2 in fantasy football this season.

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The draft accuracy rankings for Fantasy Pros came out on Sunday morning and for my first year competing in the contest, I think that I did alright. I finished 57th out of 154 competitors and I would have done a lot better if it weren’t for those meddling running backs! Rex Burkhead, David Johnson, and Peyton Barber wrecked my running back chances to the tune of a finish of 126th at that position. On positive notes: I finished 8th in quarterback accuracy, 35th in wide receiver accuracy, and 12th in tight end accuracy. Also if you need kicker advice holler at your boy, I finished 2nd in kickers. I’m guessing that kickers don’t figure heavily into the algorithm. In year two, my goal is a top 10 finish.

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