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You know why you’re here. You’re either ready to have your delusions validated by the equally delusional or to become uncontrollably mad when your predictions are contradicted (how could that jackass say that about Taysom Hill?!).

You’re probably already a pretty savvy fantasy mind if you’ve meandered your way over here to the “MENSA of Fantasy Content”, RazzBall Incorporated. You’re no spring chicken, I’m sure and you probably have your own, unique homer-isms and biases when you sit down to draft. Unless you are a complete stat-junkie in hyper-competitive, ultra-high stakes fantasy competitions the odds are emotions play a role in your strategy.

They certainly do for me, I make no apologies for occasionally being an emotional idiot sports fan fantasy player and there are gut feelings that just pan out. Sometimes they can win you leagues and occasionally they tell you to draft Sixto Sanchez 1st overall in RazzSlam and end up on the fantasy baseball version of the no-fly list (meaning, I am now legally no longer an overweight white man with a beard). 

All that being said, some of these predictions are reasonable, backed up by stats, and truly plausible… and some might end me with me being “totally dunked on”, “owned”, “fired from writing your stupid articles, Skorish, for christ sakes these suck!”, etc., etc. 

These 4 bold predictions are going to be somewhat ordered from most likely to most ridiculous. 

So let’s get to it!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Hi Lovies! I am so sorry that I had to abandon you all last week, but you know, I am in high demand. How are you holding up? Week 3 was good to Yours Truly, but I am probably facing arrest for assault, considering what I did in some of the matchups I had this week. Hey, there is no shame in being beaten (within an inch of your life, apparently) by a girl. Especially one as fantastical, amazing, and wonderful as me. See why I am in such demand? As if you even needed to wonder. It is understood that my Black Widow Curse continues to gorge herself on man meat this season, but rather than knees and hammies, she is aiming for shoulders, wrists, and ankles. Hey, she knows what she wants. Who am I to stop her? As long as she leaves my people alone…well, Alshon is a given. Call him my sacrificial lamb, if you will. Things you can always count on, the tides ebbing and flowing, the sun rising and setting, death, taxes, and Alshon Jeffrey hurt. (Sigh)…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

We’re approaching the quarter pole of the fantasy regular season and the elements are showing their teeth. Those of you that started 1-2/0-3 are approaching Dead Man’s Pass were a loss can completely throw you into a tailspin. The ice is slick, the days are long and the food is low. If you are thriving on the trail, then now is the time to take some chances and separate yourself. Let’s forage for those scarce nutrients and press on.  

Each week, I will list intriguing players owned in no more than 30% of leagues per ESPN. For a primer on additional roster management and waiver wire principals read this. At the end I will also point out some players that can be safely dropped for a better option.

Please, blog, may I have some more?