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**VIDEO RELEASED BY ANIME DONKEY TEETH PRIOR TO WEEK 5**

I watched my first boxing match on Saturday night since Conor McGregor “fought” Floyd Mayweather four years ago. I must say, the big dudes this weekend were quite entertaining. I especially enjoyed the theatrical entrances to the ring from Deontay Wilder and Tyson Fury—it was like the movie 300 meets the Dave Chappelle’s Prince skit. Game. Blouses. But my goodness, Wilder was pummeled by the Gypsy King in that heavyweight bout. The only ones beat up worse than the Bronze Bomber this weekend were the New York Giants who lost Saquon Barkley to a nasty-looking sprained ankle, Daniel Jones to a concussion and Kenny Golladay to a hyperextended knee. But as the old saying goes: when one ankle swells to the size of a doggy door, another buy-window opens. Devontae Booker may only have a week or two in the limelight, but if Sunday was any indication (16 carries for 42 yards, 3 receptions for 16 yards and 2 touchdowns), Booker should see a heavy workload until Barkley is back and should be added everywhere. That’s not the only Giant buy this week, though. First-round rookie Kadarius Toney erupted for 189 receiving yards on 10 receptions. Captain Obvious here again to tell you Toney is worth a roster spot in your league. Yes, your league too. The kid might have catapulted himself into the alpha role for the Giants, which is a very fantasy-friendly role as they’ll be playing from behind often this year. Toney and Booker with be two of the top adds for week 6 with Toney possibly holding substantial value for the remainder of the year. Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy football:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Up until this write-up, I have been exploring the Mariana Trench of fantasy football players for the deepest of sleepers. The pressure is building and I need to surface for some fresh air. Time has come to assess what I’ve seen from the known commodities of the Fantasy Football world – the land-walkers. I have more players listed this week and I think they will be more relevant to the leagues in which you play. As usual, I have a little bit of everything – Quarterbacks, Runningbacks, Wide Receivers, and a Tight End (I’ve been working out). I hope you enjoy it.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Thursday night proved that we can’t give up on players or teams after week 1. Mike Evans and Curtis Samuel didn’t have massive weeks but they gave us hope and sometimes that’s enough, ya know? Jameis Winston also looked somewhat sharp. Who knows if those spike weeks are coming for him and the Tampa Bay offense, but at least things were better than the week 1 game against San Francisco.

Week 2 features some good afternoon matchups in Denver, Los Angeles, and Oakland if the early slate doesn’t satisfy. Lets get to some injuries!

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Hey y’all.  Please note that where fantasy position ranks are cited: they were pulled from www.pro-football-reference.com’s NFL Fantasy Rankings. Also note that these are non-PPR rankings.  This list only includes Un-Restricted Free Agents (UFAs), it does not include Exclusive Rights Free Agents (ERFAs) or Antonio Brown (We can rank Tony once we see if his QB is going to be future HOFer Big Ben or future Gym Teacher Blake Bortles or someone in between, but don’t think either spot or any in between really changes his value much).

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Ever since Jim Harbaugh left for Michigan to chase Ohio State in the Big Ten, the NFC West has been a tale of two teams.  The Seattle Seahawks and Arizona Cardinals have traded blows over the past few seasons to represent the West with a home playoff game.  This season is business as usual for the Seahawks.  Seattle continues to reload while getting healthy where they were shorthanded the prior season.  The Cardinals are becoming more of a question mark as Father Time creeps in on offensive weapons that Bruce Arians depends on.

The once left for dead San Francisco 49ers are seeing a light at the end of the tunnel by bringing in John Lynch to be the GM.  Many questioned this tactic until we all witnessed him fleece the Chicago Bears on live television in the most one-sided trade that I can remember.  While we as fantasy team owners know to turn our noses this season, there are a few pieces in place to keep an eye on for the future.  Who knows, maybe there in a 2017 break out star on the 49ers.  We witnessed the magic that Kyle Shanahan can brew up last season with the Falcons.  The Rams changed head coaches but did little else to garner any attention after a disaster-ridden offensive season in 2016.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

la-sp-broncos-siemian-sanchez-20160829-snap

I always thought AI stood for artificial intelligence, especially with my background in engineering. Little did I know that it shared its abbreviation with the deliberate introduction of sperm into a female’s uterus or clitoris for the purpose of achieving a pregnancy. I think that is the procedure they are currently performing on both Jay Cutler and Tony Romo. The facts are a little fuzzy, but that sounds about right. I believe Marcus Semien and Trevor Siemian are the donors, but it could also be Danny Woodhead, Wendell Smallwood or even Ha Ha Clinton-Dix. To be honest, however, I don’t think anyone cares. On the other hand, what they might care about is the following list of jabronies. I think if you tried setting your lineup as such, the web app might just reject it on principle. Let’s take a closer look.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

latavius-murray

Football is back, and better than ever. After an offseason that felt like it lasted forever, we finally get to sit back, relax and enjoy some games that count. It seems like ages ago Cam Newton left his press conference. But here we are. For me, it means benching the wrong player at 12:59 pm. But (hopefully) you will not make any wrong decisions this year en route to that coveted fantasy title. It’s time to forget about 2015, and focus on the year ahead.

Although the mentality of Week 1 of the NFL Season in a fantasy sense means to just start the players that we drafted in order, this might not always be the case with a lot of fantasy teams. Especially for the owners that drafted Jamaal Charles in the 2nd-round. Players like Jameis Winston, Blake Bortles, Jeremy Hill, Adrian Peterson, DeMarco Murray, Mike Evans, and even Jarvis Landry all have either bad or less-than-ideal matchups to kick off the NFL season. I always advocate the strategy of “never bench your studs”, however, if we can definitely upgrade at a position to maximize the upside in our starting lineup, we should go for it. Simply put, Week 1 isn’t a guarantee.

Many teams enter Sunday with high hopes for the 2016 season. But one team in particular is looking to have a season like no other in the past few years. The Oakland Raiders enter the year with great young talent, veteran leadership where it matters the most, and to capitalize on a weakened division with play from their high-powered offense.

And their running back is at the forefront of it all. So let’s get to it…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Week 1 is upon us internet friends and that means real, live American Football! Let us rejoice. With that, it’s time to crush our opponents and begin the systematic take down of our fantasy leagues. The focus of this article each week is to bring you the best passing and rushing matchups along with a few interesting notes and stats pertaining to QBs, WRs, RBs & TEs. After you’ve processed the information you’ll be ready to make the right lineup decisions to help you win . As the season progresses, we’ll have a bigger sample of data to draw on. But for this week we’ll stick to some historical trends and numbers that will help us better identify the top plays of the week. So what I’m basically saying is…..This article will definitely dig deeper and be more complete as the season moves along. So without further hesitation, let’s dig into some numbers that might help you win your match up this week. But……before we dive in I should probably offer up some sort of lede which ties into the catchy title. Right? Okay, well Kirk “You Like That” Cousins has a delicious match up with the visiting Pittsburgh Steelers. Pittsburgh ranked 22nd in TDs allowed last season and 30th in passing yards allowed. That’s not optimal for a defense. In fact, that’s pretty close to orange cone level. Add those numbers to the fact that he’s at home this week (which we’ll talk about below) and you have yourself a QBILF!? Anyway, here’s a look at some other numbers to guide you through Week 1:

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Welcome to the fourth and final installment of the “Sleepers, Breakouts and Busts” series!

I skipped around a bit, publishing the TE’s article a few days ago, but now, we have the ever so elusive WR position.

Over the past few years, the consensus draft strategy has shifted from its former ways; going HB-heavy in the first few rounds to in extreme cases, not drafting any backs in the first few rounds. 2015 was a brutal one for the top backs, as injuries and busts led teams that were loaded at the WR position to become the champions of many leagues. Even as we see the consensus moving towards PPR leagues, receivers are becoming more and more vital, with the plan to get as many of them as we can get our hands on. They are quickly becoming the most popularized position in the NFL.

Taking a look at Jay’s WR Rankings (PPR can be found here), there are at least 13 guys I would be happy with as my #1’s, especially if I found myself going HB-heavy.

But there is specifically one receiver I believe everyone should be actively targeting in drafts.

So let’s get to it.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Peytonsulk

History has been made. If you watched yesterday’s game between the Chiefs and Broncos, you saw Peyton Manning achieve an amazing feat, one that could only be done in a robust and tenured career. That’s right folks. There hasn’t been a quarterback in the modern era that has done what Manning did. And that’s throw for five or less completions with at least four interceptions and less that 40 yards, something that hasn’t occurred since 1977, and he’s only the sixth quarterback to ever hold this prestigious monument to futility. Oh, and he also broke the all-time passing yards record held by Brett Favre. The man is a true record breaker folks. To be fair, Gary Kubiak, post-game, stated his regret in starting Manning due to major foot and rib injuries, leaving me to believe that Gary Kubiak is a pretty bad football coach, but we already knew that. No matter what it was, Manning has had a truly great career, probably the best quarterback in the history of the NFL. But instead of remembering the game for a truly remarkable moment, we’ll be remembering the game for a truly remarkable moment. Peyton Manning was benched in favor of Brock Osweiler… I honestly can’t see how this can get any worse. Oh, what’s that, Tim Tebow is still alive? This is gonna be good

Here’s what else I saw during Week 10’s Sunday games…

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agent_smith

Mr. Anderson. Welcome back. We missed you. This week I tried to make things a bit more difficult by limiting myself to just the Sunday early games from which to choose. The unsurprisingly reality was that it was still quite easy to cobble together a lineup that would beat just about any team it was matched up against. Next week perhaps I will try using only players from the late games. This week’s crew combined for 180.1 points and includes one player that will undoubtedly be the top waiver wire pickup this week.

Please, blog, may I have some more?