Greetings! Tis I, returning to the glorious world of writing after three long years studying the art forms of Yoga, selflessness and celibacy. I won’t dedicate a significant amount of time discussing the past, as I prefer to live in the now, but in order to make an agonizingly long and fascinating story short (Details saved for the book), my Guru instructed me to expunge my pen name, Tehol Beddict; for in order to shed the purest levels of light and love, one must crawl from the shadows, exposing their mind, body, and soul, for all to witness, for all to judge like Sir William Wallace on the execution block. Yes, there’s a reasonable chance I have my genitals and intestines removed with a dull shovel, get stretched like Rita Farr making sweet love to Mr. Fantastic, only to then receive the kind of whooping Adrian Peterson himself would be proud of before ultimately being beheaded……….BUT, there’s also a decent chance that Mel Gibson makes a movie detailing the events of my life. Say one thing for Mel Gibson, say he’s a psychotic anti-semitic, racist, who’s fall from grace has been been more horrendous than celebrity that is not currently rotting in prison. You know who also had a fall from what was a brief grace? My man, Tygod! The Rodfather! Read on, if you’re curious as to why the man is ranked by PFF, ahead of some of your fantasy faves like: Drew Lock, Josh Allen, Teddy Bridgewater, Daniel Jones, my boy Gardner Minshew and Joe Burrow. He’s two spots behind KYLER MURRAY! Interested yet? Take heed! 

 

Those of you who know me from back in the olden days (maybe like two of you) will undoubtedly recall that I was the FIRST analyst to go on the record saying Tyrod Taylor would win the starting job for Buffalo in camp, and be a solid fantasy option at that. There I go again, being the opposite of selfless, but I’m just trying to reiterate the fact that I’ve been Rod supporter since his days at Virginia Tech. The man was able to produce at a high level for the Bills, with arguably the worst weapons we, as human beings, have ever witnessed. Sammy Watkins was injured for what seemed like the entirety of Taylor’s Buffalo tenure, leaving Charley Clay, who was also incredibly injury prone, as his number one option. What Taylor was able to accomplish in that pathetic situation was almost godlike in my opinion. I won’t dwell on the past, as again, I like to live in the present, so no need to speak on the atrocities that occurred in the dumpster fire which some of you refer to as the Browns of Cleveland. Let’s talk about what’s happening in the gorgeous, currently locked down city of Angels! 

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Quarantine Day 31:

 I sneezed yesterday and my girlfriend (still imaginary) kicked me out of our virus bunker. I’m now writing this from the back yard where I’m sheltering in place under my handmade wigwam shelter. Finally all of those episodes of Naked and Afraid are paying off. I’m not afraid out here but I am very naked. Hope the neighbors don’t mind. Actually, as a Bears fan I’m beyond afraid of our quarterback situation. Remember when the Bears drafted Trubisky over Mahomes and Watson? You do? Damn, was hoping that was just a bad dream! Anyway, here’s my top 40 quarterbacks for 2020 dynasty football: 

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Hey y’all.  Please note that where fantasy position ranks are cited: they were pulled from www.pro-football-reference.com’s NFL Fantasy Rankings. Also note that these are non-PPR rankings.  This list only includes Un-Restricted Free Agents (UFAs), it does not include Exclusive Rights Free Agents (ERFAs) or Antonio Brown (We can rank Tony once we see if his QB is going to be future HOFer Big Ben or future Gym Teacher Blake Bortles or someone in between, but don’t think either spot or any in between really changes his value much).

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Regretfully I am back stateside after traveling to Curacao last week. If you enjoy traveling I would highly recommend checking out the island. It didn’t take long for the afterglow of the trip to wear off though, I had to fly home with a slight cold. It’s safe to say that I will never get irritated at screaming children on a airplane again. I thought my ears were going to explode. As I stepped off the plane I noticed that my ears were completely blocked. Despite this, I managed to make it through immigration and TSA to catch my connecting flight, only to go through the process of having my eardrums almost burst once more. It took a full week for my hearing to come back, but during that time I was able to catch up on week 2 and 3 and now I am back to help you with your Dynasty teams.

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B_Don and Donkey Teeth profile two sexy young wide receivers this week as they dig into the film on Mike Williams and Tyler Boyd. Take a look for both of these young gents on you waiver wire.

Then the sausage fest gets extra juicy as the boys are joined by Razzball’s own Rotowan. They chat about goofy elimination and vampire leagues, Phillip Lindsay, and get Rotowan’s take on Mike Williams and Tyler Boyd. The show is rounded out with a little game of Sausage/Cheesehead/Ditka (Buy/Sell/Hold). Enjoy your weekly sausage here:

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Last year, all my loyal readers wept tears of unfathomable sadness when baseball ended, as that meant the end of the greatest weekly column in the history of the Internet. Thankfully, Razzball has decided this year that they do not want to disappoint everyone out there who make up my loyal fan base, so they have asked me to write a weekly football picks column. Here’s the important stuff – I will be focusing on FanDuel cash picks. That’s not to say that you couldn’t take my advice and use it for other sites, but each DFS site has its own salary structure, so a good play on one site isn’t necessarily a good play on another site. So if you only play somewhere else besides FanDuel, be very careful with these picks as they’re based specifically on the salaries on FanDuel. Further, the bulk of these picks are for cash games. I will make GPP recommendations wherever I feel it’s reasonable to do so, but if you’re only a GPP player, then while this column will still be useful, just know that it’s a cash-first article. Finally, I will be making occasional references to Rudy’s projections, which you should purchase, because they are quite good. That’s not me shamelessly plugging them – that’s me speaking the truth – they’re quite good and quite helpful for anyone who plays NFL DFS. So with that in mind, onto the picks…

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Our football editor, you know him as MB, would recommend a team full of Ryan Fitzpatricks to stream at every position. He made him the lead of his week 1 recap article and has changed his photo on every social media feed to Fitzmagic. I mean his current Twitter name is HarvardQBGawd. He is all in on the Fitz experience, which should serve as a reminder to reign in your overreactions from week 1.

Fitzy had a great week 1, but he also played the Saints who couldn’t cover rock with paper. We’ve seen him have big games before, but let us not forget that he also has a game of 20/44 with 6 interceptions and 0 TDs in his game log. Fitzpatrick takes on the Eagles defense that still looks completely legit, and I’d be a little concerned about a roadrunner/cliff situation coming that reminds us why Jameis is coming back to his job as soon as he’s eligible.

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There were a lot of expectations heading into week 1 of the NFL season and a variety of different results. There was the completely expected: Patriots winning; Aaron Rodgers being da gawd of football. (Yawn.) The slightly unexpected: The Broncos sneaking away with a 27-24 win over the Seahawks; Matt Ryan not returning to his MVP form. (Maybe we all saw that one coming…) And the completely bat-guano, mind-blowing, WTF: Browns/Steelers playing to a 21-21 draw; MVP Ryan Fitzpatrick and the Buccaneers dropping 48 points against the Saints; and the Ravens obliterating the Buffalo Bills 47-3.

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With Training Camp about to be in full-swing, it’s a perfect opportunity to take a look at some key players that are entering their final year of a contract, looking to prove themselves to their team or multiple teams if they’re likely to hit free agency.

Contract negotiations and holdouts are as typical to fantasy owners as touchdowns and RBBC’s, so let’s take a look at some names you should keep in the back of your mind as you approach draft day.

Let’s get into it!

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Zach and I’s great pal Josh Sperry joined us to talk about the AFC North. Who better to talk to about Le’veon Bell than a Steeler’s fan?! We also talk about Joe Mixon, Lamar Jackson, Alex Collins, Joe Flacco, Tyrod Taylor, Nick Chubb, Josh Gordon, Jarvis Landry, Carlos Hyde, and Michael Crabtree, Ben Roethlisberger, Antonio Brown, A.J. Green, and Ju-Ju Smith-Schuster.

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