A clash between two AFC teams that enter week 8 with highest projected point total, thanks to the reigning MVP Patrick Mahomes sidelined while he recovers from a knee injury.

Per NFL Next Gen Stats, Derek Carr has the 11th highest passer rating and NFL best completion percentage (74.1). On paper, this is an interesting matchup for Carr who is: facing a defense that has allowed the 4th most receiving yards per game, just placed DB Phillip Gaines on IR, are without DB Bradley Roby until after their bye week, have DB Tashaun Gibson questionable, and are 6.5 point road dogs. BUT Carr ranks 9th in fewest pass attempts per game, has the 8th fewest passes over 20 yards, lacks elite receiving weapons outside of his TE and has a head coach who is enamored with running the ball. Carr is best viewed as a 2-QB league starter and desperation spot fill in 1-qb leagues. Rudy projects Carr as QB21 in week 8.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

If you’re reading this, congrats! You’re still playing meaningful games! Either you’re winning that consolation bracket to have your league’s #1 pick next year (who will it be? Todd Gurley? Saquon Barkley? New York Jet Le’Veon Bell?!) Or, since you’re a Razzball reader, you’re on the march towards ANOTHER championship title over your chump friends. Take a long look at your bench — are there any guys on there who have 0 starts for you, but you’re just remembering years past when they were productive? Stop trying to make fetch happen — cut ties and grab one of these guys below who are more likely than the name value players you’ve been holding on to and hoping they’ll perform.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Well that was one hell of a ride. My Bills had Houston right where we wanted them. And Nathan Peterman just… just… just did Nathan Peterman things and threw a pick-6. I really shouldn’t have been surprised when it happened. He has to have done that at least 2847 times by now in his 396 day career. Before I go on a long tirade about how bad Josh Allen looked before he got hurt, let’s just take care of this game in its’ entirety.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I was overseas last week in London and noticed there was an overabundance of barber shops though a severe lack of dentists; good hair is important, mind you, but why not have good teeth, too? Speaking of Barber’s (look at that segue) we have one in Tampa coming off a two TD game though he’s not the man of the week; but before we get to that, let’s recap the game we’re playing here:

You and I all know this is Free Agent Auction Bidding, and we started with $100 FAAB dollars. I don’t have any left, so if you do I’ve broken this week down into 3 categories: 1. Spend all the monies, 2. For a buck and 3. If they clear. Understood? Good, let’s get to it.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Is Tom Brady the best football player of all time? I need your help to solve an argument.

Anyway, the top two (healthy) scoring fantasy QBs, Alex Smith and Carson Wentz, are out this week. #1 scoring fantasy RB Kareem Hunt is on a bye. Three top 10 WRs are out: two due to a bye (Tyreek Hill and Michael Crabtree) and one possibly due to his own stupidity (Mike Evans.) And the two top TEs, Travis Kelce and Zach Ertz, will be out as well.

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Around noon eastern time today, I was enjoying my life. It was another day, and I had a delicious lunch consisting of a [email protected] and a granola bar. Pretty great. Matt Bowe (make sure to wish my man a Happy Birthday!) and I were talking about Joe Flacco’s broken back, and everything was going according to plan. It was going to be a normal Friday.

And then from around 12-12:15, it all went to crap. It was confirmed that Ezekiel Elliot was going to be suspended for 6 games. So I began writing about that. But then, Sammy Watkins got traded to the Los Angeles Rams. Okay, no biggie, just write two seperate pieces about it. But then, Jordan Matthews got traded to Buffalo. So screw it, we’re going to talk about all of these moves now.

I really hope Adam Schefter’s phone didn’t get hacked.

Please, blog, may I have some more?