When Taysom Hill was a senior in high school he received all kinds of offers from big name college football programs, eventually committing to play for John Harbaugh at Stanford One night God came to Hill in a dream, “Taysom!” called God, “I can not permit you to play for that khaki wearing loser, John Harbaugh. Your calling is much higher. You’re needed for a two-year Mormon mission in Australia. But in exchange for your service, one day I will crack 11 of Drew Brees’s ribs giving you the chance to start in the NFL. Also, make sure you wash your hands and take your vitamins when 2020 rolls around.” And so Taysom, as a loyal servant to the lord, went to Australia to spread the good word. 12 years later God made good on his promise by crushing almost half of the ribs in Brees’s body. Hill took full advantage of the gift from above, going 18/23 for 233 yards passing while also taking 10 carries for 51 yards, 2 rushing touchdowns and a fumble lost. I know there’s a lot of hatred out in the fantasy world for Taysom Hill, but you’ll find me lining up on the other side of the debate. What can I say, I love mobile quarterbacks. Hill’s in a fantastic offense with a great coach as well as an elite wide receiver and running back which will make life a nightmare for opposing defenses. He should be rostered by someone (maybe not you) in all leagues for the immediate future, and I’d be buying Hill aggressively in dynasty leagues. He’s obviously the QB of the future in New Orleans. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday for fantasy football:
Todd Gurley – 8 carries for 26 yards, 1 catch for 3 yards. Apparently the Toddfather’s authority isn’t recognized on Bourbon Street.
Julio Jones – 2 catches for 39 yards. Calvin Ridley (5 catches for 90 yards) returned from his foot injury so Julio was obligated to leave with a hamstring injury. The Falcons are only allowed to have one star receiver on the field at a time. Julio actually did return but monitor the injury report this week, hammy injuries are bad news.
Alvin Kamara – 13 carries for 45 yards and his 12th touchdown. I’m sounding the alarm. If Taysom is the QB of the immediate future and more, I’m concerned the shifty QB’s versatility is a threat to Kamara’s upside. I’m not saying he won’t be an RB1, but there’s a chance he finds himself outside the elite group with Taysom stealing a bunch of the ground TDs. Then again, maybe I’m overthinking this . . .
Michael Thomas – 9 catches for 104 yards. Nice of Thomas to finally show up to the 2020 season. Who would have thought, Drew Brees‘s (108 broken ribs) departure was all it would take to kick start Thomas.
Miles Sanders – 16 carries for 66 yards, 3 catches for 15 yards and a fumble lost. When Doug Pederson said he was moving to RBBC this week I spit out my kombucha. Then a few hours later, once my panic attack was over, I convinced myself that Pederson was full of donkey dookie. Looks like post-panic-attack self was mostly right as Boston Scott (5 carries for 24 yards, 3 catches for 26 yards) saw some work but nothing too concerning for us Sanders owners.
Richard Rodgers – 2 catches for 48 yards and his 1st touchdown. Dick Rod finally pounded one into the end zone.
Travis Fulgham – 1 catch for 8 yards. The Fulgham fan club was angry this week when Al_FF_red snubbed him in his rest of season WR rankings. He did still see a team high 7 targets but Al_FF_red is looking pretty smart regardless.
Nick Chubb – 20 carries for 114 yards. Consult your physician if Chubb gives you Chubb for more than 4 consecutive hours.
Kareem Hunt – 13 carries for 11 yards, 1 catch for 10 yards and his 8th touchdown. Some were skeptical whether Kareem the Dream could still produce dreamy fantasy numbers with Chubb at full mast. Sure, he had less than one yard per carry, but let’s focus on the 13 carries and the goal line work Hunt received.
Jarvis Landry – 2 catches for 23 yards. Get me the Tide because that’s some dirty Landry.
Joe Burrow – 22/34 for 203 yards, 2 carries for 12 yards, 1 passing touchdown and 1 torn ACL. What a bummer for such a promising young player, but he’ll be back. Until then we get Ryan Finley (3/10 for 30 yards, 1 carry for 19 yards, no touchdowns and 1 interception). yay.
Gio Bernard – 9 carries for 18 yards, 4 catches for 37 yards. Turns out the Bengals head team doctor is actually Doctor Nick from The Simpsons and Joe Mixon (foot) was just now placed on the IR after not practicing for that past month. At this point Mixon has to be considered around 50/50 to contribute to your fantasy team again this season and the Stache gets a nice boost in value. Of course, the Burrow injury isn’t going to help that value.
Tyler Boyd – 9 catches for 85 yards. All Bengals receivers take a huge hit with Finley now at the helm. I’m no longer excited about running Boyd or the rookie Tee Higgins (3 catches for 26 yards) out there every week. And A.J. Green (4 catches for 41 yards and his 1st touchdown) can pretty much be ignored.
Antonio Gibson – 16 carries for 94 yards, 1 catch for 10 yards and his 8th touchdown. The Antman is looking like a real superhero. He’s a high end RB2 until further notice.
Terry McLaurin – 5 catches for 84 yards. Terry Mack is giving Terry Tate a run for his money in my top Terry rankings.
Adrian Peterson – 7 carries for 18 yards. Did Matt Patricia call for a headshot on D’Andre Swift (concussion) during practice because the rookie’s performance was making it too difficult to give AP carries? I’m not putting it past him. We also had a Kerryon Johnson (6 carries for 17 yards, 2 catches for 21 yards) sighting. Woohoo!
Marvin Jones Jr. – 4 catches for 51 yards. With Kenny Golladay (hip) on early holiday, Matthew Stafford (18/33 for 178 yards, 4 carries for 5 yards) had to lean on Marvin Martian and T.J. Hockenson (4 catches for 68 yards). But when Stafford went to lean on them he tripped and fell on his face.
P.J. Walker – 24/34 for 258 yards, 1 touchdown and 2 interceptions. Walker’s my favorite XFLer since He Hate Me. Walker has a great arm, very entertaining.
D.J. Moore – 7 catches for 127 yards, 1 carry for 21 yards. Moore XFL quarterbacks is exactly what D.J. needs!
Robby Anderson – 7 catches for 46 yards. I guess Bobby A isn’t XFL material.
James Conner – 13 carries for 89 yards, 1 catch for 10 yards. Conner was looking more like a conman the past few weeks. He still hasn’t cracked 100 yards since week six and has only found the end zone once during that stretch, but this was a step in the right direction. Benny Snell (7 carries for 15 yards and his 3rd touchdown) brought the vulture sandwich once again, that’s his 3rd vulture sandwich in the last five weeks.
Chase Claypool – 8 catches for 59 yards and his 10th touchdown. Claypool is only the 3rd player in NFL history with 10 touchdowns in his first 10 career games. Clay can play!
Diontae Johnson – 12 catches for 111 yards. That’s a pretty Johnson. Ideal ratio of girth to shaft.
Juju Smith-Schuster – 4 catches for 19 yards. JuJu twisted his ankle late in the game when he stepped on a penalty flag. No, I’m not joking:
Juju Smith-Schuster twisted his ankle stepping on the penalty. Yes, you read that right.
— Inside Injuries (@InsideInjuries) November 22, 2020
James Robinson – 17 carries for 73 yards, 2 catches for 21 yards. James Son of Robin just keeps cruising along. How high are we drafting this kid next year? Will he rip our hearts out?
Derrick Henry – 28 carries for 133 yard, 1 catch for -1 yards and his 9th touchdown. The Predator’s night vision malfunctioned in the first half against the Ravens defense, but it kicked back in for the second half as he ripped them to shreds. You can only keep a Predator under wraps for so long.
A.J. Brown – 4 catches for 62 yards and his 7th touchdown. That’s seven touchdowns in seven games since returning from injury. How high is too high to rank Brown in dynasty leagues?
Corey Davis – 5 catches for 113 yards. If you’re wondering what a post-hype breakout looks like . . .
Jonnu Smith – 4 catches for 20 yards and his 8th touchdown. Prince Jonnu is touchdown dependent, but he’s found his fix more often than not this year. This makes three straight games.
Lamar Jackson – 17/29 for 186 yards, 13 carries for 51 yards, 1 passing touchdown and 1 interception–he now has 15 passing touchdowns on the season. There’s one more game left in Jackson’s defensive gauntlet as he’ll face the Steelers next week, then it’s smooth sailing for your fantasy playoffs. Buy him now if your league still allows and check out our free trade analyzer to craft the perfect dealio!
J.K. Dobbins – 15 carries for 70 yards, 2 catches for 15 yards and his 3rd touchdown plus the 2 point conversion. Just when we think all hope is lost, J.K. gives us the elusive octopus on his way to a huge fantasy day. Mark Ingram (2 carries for 2 yards) and Gus Edwards (3 carries for 6 yards) are no match for the talent of a Dobbins.
Marquise Brown – 0 catches on 3 targets. We should have seen this disappointing season coming, Hollywood has pretty much shutdown this year with the virus. Not much movie making going on. But did you hear about the movie Tom Cruise is going to shoot in space? Maybe Hollywood Brown should try playing football in space.
Mark Andrews – 5 catches for 96 yards and his 6th touchdown. When Mandrews doesn’t find the end zone he doesn’t have a good fantasy week. In other words, he’s a tight end.
Cam Newton – 26/40 for 365 yards, 3 carries for 6 yards and his 4th passing touchdown. Belichick is once again considering the move to a Fig Newton at QB with he Patriots now at 4-6. Cam actually wasn’t bad in this one.
Damien Harris – 11 carries for 43 yards and his 2nd touchdown. We’ve reached the tipping point were you have to consider Harris a must start pretty much every week. No small feat in the Belichick system.
Jakobi Meyers – 3 catches for 38 yards. N’Keal Harry ‘s (5 catches for 41 yards) return saw Meyers’ targets dip down to only three this week after seeing 6, 10, 14 and 7 over the past four weeks. But it was actually Damiere Byrd (6 catches for 132 yards and his 1st touchdown) who soared against the Texans.
Duke Johnson – 10 carries for 15 yards, 3 catches for 20 yards. This was the worst performance by Duke since the Blue Devil’s lacrosse team scandal. Is David Johnson almost over that concussion or what??
Will Fuller – 6 catches for 80 yards. I always find myself wishing Will’s stat line was a little fuller. This makes two straight weeks without a touchdown after that stretch of six in a row.
Brandin Cooks – 4 catches for 84 yards. Cooks did have a touchdown overturned by an illegal man downfield penalty. He’s seen a spike in usage since Bill O’Brien got the ax with 52 targets over the past 6 weeks. Deshaun Watson (28/37 for 344 yards, 3 carries for 36 yards, 2 passing touchdowns and 1 rushing touchdown–he now has 20 passing touchdowns and 2 rushing touchdowns on the season) has also been very good in the post-O’Brien era.
Tua Tagovailoa – 11/20 for 83 yards and 1 touchdown before leaving with a knee injury. The week we lose Joe Burrow to a torn ACL we also see Tua the Tongue’s knee bend in a direction it shouldn’t. Assemble the prayer octagon! (I’ve heard speculation that Tua was pulled due to ineffectiveness but I’m pretty sure it was at least in part the knee thing)
Salvon Ahmed – 12 carries for 43 yards, 5 catches for 31 yards. I was Salivating over Salvon this week. It wasn’t this best game script with the Dolphins playing from behind but still not a bad line all the same. Myles Gaskin (knee) is eligible to return next week, I’m very interested to see how the backfield shakes out once he is back.
DeVante Parker – 6 catches for 61 yards and his 4th touchdown. If you’d parked Mr. Parker on your bench after the last few mediocre games, it’s probably safe to bring him back out as an upside WR3 whether it’s Fitz or Tua running the show. I miss Saucy Boi.
Melvin Gordon – 15 carries for 84 yards and his 6th and 7th touchdowns. Finally the big fantasy day those drafting Melly in the 3rd round were hoping for. Neither Gordon nor Phillip Lindsay (16 carries for 82 yards) saw a target in the passing game, but they both had success on the ground against a good Miami defense.
Jerry Jeudy – 3 catches for 37 yards. Show me the money, Jerry! Ahhh, that’s a poo-dollar!
La’Mical Perine – 8 carries for 33 yards and his 2nd touchdown. The Jets were supposedly going to give their young running back a feature role coming out of their bye. Yup, sure. That’s why Frank Gore (15 carries for 61 yards, 1 catch for 10 yards and his 1st touchdown) almost doubled Perine’s carries against the Chargers.
Jamison Crowder – 1 catch for 16 yards. Have a couple shots of Jameson if you started Jamison. Breshad Perriman (2 catches for 54 yards and his 3rd touchdown) was the only Jet receiver worth a shot of Johnny Walker. Perriman now has three TDs in the last two games and Joe Flacco (15/30 for 205 yards, 2 touchdowns and 1 interception) seems to like throwing his way.
Justin Herbert – 37/49 for 366 yards, 2 carries for 11 yards and 3 passing touchdowns–he now has 22 passing touchdowns on the year. Was I worried when Herbert cut his hair this week? Of course! You never cut your hair or beard during a hot streak! Luckily the kid was able to dodge the jinx, for now.
Kalen Ballage – 16 carries for 44 yards, 7 catches for 27 yards. That impressive 2.8 yards per carry is enough to relegate rookie Joshua Kelley (4 carries for -2 yards, 2 catches for 4 yards) to the bench. I guess 2.8 > -0.5 ypc. Is Austin Ekeler (hamstring) ever coming back? Can anyone confirm he’s still alive?
Keenan Allen – 16 catches for 145 yards and his 6th touchdown. That’s four straight weeks with a TD and he was targeted 19 times in this game. Allen has been a screaming buy for the past few weeks, I hope someone out there was able to take advantage. He’s obviously a locked in WR1 and arguably in the elite tier with Hopkins right behind the Davante Adams solo tier.
Mike Williams – 4 catches for 72 yards and his 4th touchdown. Big Mike with the medium fantasy line. Williams is boom or bust WR2 right now.
Hunter Henry – 4 catches for 48 yards and his 3rd touchdown. That’s back to back weeks with a touchdown as Henry breaks out from his six game streak of 20-30 yard receiving games.
Aaron Jones – 10 carries for 41 yards, 4 catches for 30 yards and his 8th touchdown. Jamaal Williams (5 carries for 12 yards, 1 catch for 4 yards) getting half the carries in the Packers backfield is more annoying those Progressive commercials with Flo. Alright, not quite that annoying, but close.
Davante Adams – 7 catches for 106 yards and his 10th touchdown. That’s eight touchdowns in the last five weeks. If Davante were a character from The Addams Family he’d obviously be Cousin It, a one of a kind beauty.
Allen Lazard – 2 catches for 18 yards. The Lizard King returns! He’s still sharpening is claws, make sure he’s owned in your league.
Jonathan Taylor – 22 carries for 90 yards, 4 catches for 24 yards. I was beginning to think JT peaked back in the 90s during the Home Improvement days. This was very, very encouraging as no other running back saw more than 6 carries. Nyheim Hines (6 carries for 2 yards, 3 catches for 31 yards) should continue to have a role in the passing game with Captain Dumpoff Philip Rivers (24/36 for 288 yards, 3 touchdowns and 1 interception) at the helm.
T.Y. Hilton – 3 catches for 36 yards. Paris Hilton’s brother is really living The Simple Life. On the plus side, he did lead the team in targets and I can’t shake this feeling that a breakout is near.
Michael Pittman – 3 catches for 66 yards and his 1st career touchdown. Pittman looks like a pitbull out there. I expect this is the first of many touchdowns . . .
Justin Jefferson – 3 catches for 86 yards and his 4th touchdown. Justin is the most influential Jefferson since Thomas. I wonder if they’re related? Anyway, what’s that bacon smell? Ahhhh Pigskinonator ranked J-Jeff #11 among week 11 fantasy wide receivers. The bot knows he’s a legit WR1.
Dalvin Cook – 27 carries for 115 yards, 5 catches for 45 yards and his 14th touchdown. The Chef has had enough of all the Russ Cookin’ business. Dalvin’s the only one I want cooking for me right now.
Adam Thielen – 8 catches for 123 yards and his 10th and 11th touchdowns. My call to sell him Thielen around midseason was based on his second half performance over the past two years. Turns out past performance is not always indicative of future results.
Ezekiel Elliott – 21 carries for 103 yards, 2 catches for 11 yards and his 7th touchdown. That’s his first TD in over a month. No one welcomed Andy Dalton‘s (22/32 for 203 yards, 3 touchdowns and 1 interception) return more than Zeke. I bet Elliot never thought he’d be so excited to see Dalton behind center. The buy-low window–which looked a lot like a wall with rusty spikes sticking out of it–is now shut.
Amari Cooper – 6 catches for 81 yards. Have you seen the new Mini Cooper SUV? It looks pretty sharp. Amari doesn’t look that sharp but at least he looks a little better with Dalton under center.
CeeDee Lamb – 4 catches for 34 yards, 2 carries for 12 yards and his 4th touchdown. Jerry had a little Lamb. I’m having a hard time deciding whether I’d rather have Lamb or Jefferson in dynasty right now. Claypool looks damn good too.
Patrick Mahomes – 34/45 for 348 yards, 4 carries for 16 yards, 2 touchdowns and 1 interception–he now has 27 passing touchdowns on the year. Here’s a taste of what a Mahomie revenge game looks like. He lathered the Raiders up in ketchup before feasting.
Clyde Edwards-Helaire – 14 carries for 69 yards (nice), 1 catch for 8 yards and 4th and 5th touchdowns. I’ve seen a lot of commenters wanting to jump off the Clydesdale the past couple weeks. The young stud is still only trotting at a comfortable gait, just wait til he starts galloping. Le’Veon Bell (7 carries for 25 yards, 1 carry for 11 yards and his 1st touchdown) put up some numbers too but he’s very touchdown dependent at this point. And considering that was his first TD of the year, well, he’s not a great option.
Tyreek Hill – 11 catches for 102 yards and his 11th touchdown. And that makes six touchdowns in the last 4 weeks. He’s no Taysom, but this is another Hill I’d be willing to get very sick on at the very least.
Travis Kelce – 8 catches for 128 yards and his 7th touchdown. My RazzBowl team needed him back badly after his week 10 bye where I had to start Austin the Pooper Hooper. But enough about me, sign up for RazzBowl 2021 now and get in on all the fun with big industry names!
Henry Ruggs – 1 catch for 5 yards, 1 carry for 12 yards. Starting Ruggs was a worse idea than that hot dog stand I opened last year which I named Covidogs. Maybe the Raiders should’ve taken Lamb, Jeudy or Jefferson instead of Henry the Third and maybe I shouldn’t have named my hotdog stand Covidogs.
Nelson Agholor – 6 catches for 88 yards and his 6th touchdown. That makes five TDs in the last seven weeks. Against all odds, Agholor is a legit WR3 option. But I’d be lying if I said I trust him.
Darren Waller – 7 catches for 88 yards and his 5th touchdown. When I was hiding in the bushes outside of Waller’s house Sunday afternoon I noticed he looked extra focused, so this big game was no surprise to me.