When given the opportunity, I will never not use this. You have my word.

When given the opportunity, I will never not use this. You have my word.

We’ve now moved on from the first week of football, with all the time in between being spent exhausting profound energy on armchair analysis of who looked good and who looked bad, who’s done and who’s not, all with the knowledge that the entirety of our data set is resting on the laurels on the small sample size of one singular game. Poor Laurel. That being said, Peyton is done. Finished. As a Chargers fan, that is my complete and unbiased analyzation of the matter. You know it’s true because that statement had the word “anal” in it. To be fair, there’s a lot of worry out there for what probably the greatest quarterback to play the game. Simply put, against the Ravens, he did not look good. Baltimore’s defense was content defending the mid-range and short game of Manning, daring him to throw the ball long, something he just couldn’t do. In return, we watched a game that was played in-between the 30-yard lines, something that probably hadn’t been done since the infamous Steelers smackdown of the Dolphins, 3-0 back in 2007. Granted, the Ravens and Broncos exit strategy for thier game provided some zeal and zest, and that’s not sarcasm. I brought out my “z” words, afterall. But to circle back to beginning, this is one-week armchair analysis (back to anal too I suppose, hey now), so I’m still expecting Peyton Manning to not look so terrible. It would go a long way tonight against the Chiefs if Manning continued his personal domination over them and would certainly quiet the doubters. He is 13-1 against them all time, and the one loss came in 2004 where he threw 472 yards with 5 touchdowns. So we’ll just have to see if Forehead can figure it out…

 

By the Numbers

manning-9-520x600

4.4 – Peyton Mannings yards per attempt in Week 1.

21 – The number of straight drives (including preseason) that Peyton Manning has lead without a touchdown.

21 – The circumference, in feet, of Peyton’s forehead.

17 – It has now been 17 straight games without a receiver touchdown for Alex Smith and the Chiefs. LOL.

 

Drinking Game

redmanning_1

Take one sip of beer if…

You see Manningface. (Take baby sips.)

Demaryius Thomas probably should have gotten the ball instead of whoever did.

Alex Smith checks down. (Take baby sips.)

Jamaal Charles isn’t involved in the play but should have been.

Take one shot of liquor if…

You see John Elway neighing in the booth.

Andy Reid calls a dumb timeout.

You wonder why Gary Kubiak was able to return to head coaching in the NFL.

 

Totally Legitimate Game Prediction

Super-Bowl-Peyton-Manning-Illuminati

Broncos – Whatever score it takes to finish the season 1-15*.

Chiefs – Whatever score it takes to finish the season 1-15*.

*Totally unbiased Chargers opinion.

 

 

  1. Whiskey T says:
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    Hey man how do you feel about starting CJ Anderson tonight in a 12 team standard league? Other options are Sankey v CLE, Woodhead v CIN, or CJ2K v CHI…. Out of those 4 I have to choose 2… I appreciate the help!

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Whiskey T: It’s a pickle. If I have other interesting options, I might go safe here. Out of your options, I might go Sankey… but CJ2k is not in the conversation for me

      • Whiskey T says:
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        @Jay: I’ve already got Forsett in my rb1 spot. So would you use Sankey and woodhead then in my rb2 and flex? Thanks again man

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          @Whiskey T: Yeah. I’m not discounting Anderson, but I’m advocating a safer play for those who have him.

          • RotoLance

            RotoLance says:
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            @Jay: I’m glad you have a post above mine on the home page now so you can answer the bulk of the CJA questions. My replies have been about the same though.

            • Jay

              Jay says:
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              @RotoLance: Just set your status to “questionable”. Should help.

  2. Scott says:
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    here’s to Maclin breaking the streak!

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Scott: That would help me in a lot of leagues…

    • RotoLance

      RotoLance says:
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      @Scott: I’ve got so much invested in these teams in my home league, it’s scary. Superflex league so Alex Smith, Travis Kelce, Demaryius, CJA.

      I’m actually 3/3 in leagues played / owning Kelce. Somehow I played against ASJ, Eifert and Delanie Walker so I barely had any advantage from the TE spot last week.

      • Scott says:
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        @RotoLance: speaking of TEs, someone dropped Delanie. I have Dwayne Allen. make the claim?

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          @Scott: I would.

        • RotoLance

          RotoLance says:
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          @Scott: Delanie’s injury status would be the only concern I have with him. Otherwise yeah, Walker over Allen. Walker was pretty good last year.. think of what happens if Mariota is already solid.

      • Scott says:
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        @RotoLance: I’ve got one league where I have JC, Maclin, and the KC Defense

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          @Scott: Football…

  3. rak says:
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    5. PPR

    Maclin or Fitz or J. Brown (Ari)? I think the Broncos D is legit and think Chicago’s D is pretty terrible against the pass, but overall I think Maclin is a better play.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @rak: I would agree. Maclin is the safe play, but you’re not crazy thinking about Brown. I’m fine with going with him here.

  4. Scott says:
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    better stash, Eddie Royal, DGB, or Lockett?

    • Scott says:
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      @Scott: standard scoring, sorry

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Scott: Hmm, I’m leaning DGB here, but I think Royal helps out a lot early season.

  5. Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
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    i don’t know if you’re reposting the picks each week but i have KC tonight, guessing just to keep up, i’m guessing i’m down 2 games to one of you, maybe 1-2 to the other.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Aubrey Plaza’s Pillow: Yeah, totally, keep on putting it somewhere. Pod got cancelled this week because I’m a bit under the weather. It would be me just coughing for an hour. Tehol has the Chiefs and I have the Broncos.

      • Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
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        @Jay: while that does sound funny i don’t want to put you through that for a laugh. get better i’ll post them in your most recent post sometime before sunday’s games. less booze (for a little while) might help. or maybe scotch and chicken soup or one of those hot toddy’s.

  6. Alex says:
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    Trade question- I was offer Lesean McCoy for TY Hilton and Crowell. Should I do this? My other WRs are Emmanuel Sanders, Roddy White, Stevie Johnson and Percy Harvin
    My RBs are Lacey, Forsett, Andre Ellington

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Alex: In a vacuum, I probably would, but your RB’s are fine and you are weak at WRs. I’d probably pass here specifically.

  7. Jay

    Jay says:
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    Of course Anderson, you fuck.

    • Mike Hunt's Honorable Discharge says:
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      @Jay: hahahaha, wow, this DEN D don’t look like they are playing BAL anymore. Since i’ve got Charles in as many leagues as DEN D i’m meh on it, but i’d rather they both look good, say big gash runs followed by picks/fumbles constantly (smith’s, not charles)

        • Mike Hunt's Honorable Discharge says:
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          @Jay: i got the free ham i asked for.

          • Mike Hunt's Honorable Discharge says:
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            @Mike Hunt’s Honorable Discharge: strange thing is i got DEN D in a spot as if they were only one of those “fantasy only good” D’s, like PHI last year, where they are junk actual D but get lucky fantasy stats due to having a good offense that creates TO’s/sacks from opposition having to gamble big time late in games (sometimes “late” meaning whole half), like NE many of the last few years as well. But DEN’s D is actually good.

  8. Mike Hunt's Honorable Discharge says:
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    20 team league, talia or j.allen? all preseason i kept seeing yahoo project talia as the backup but didn’t believe it from other reports/talent evaluations. now i’m seeing “definite” news that i should own talia here yes?

      • Mike Hunt's Honorable Discharge says:
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        @Jay: yeah, the kind of league that i’m holding onto d.robinson and now taliaferro like grim death, and all of aiken/m.wilson (he might end up good at some point)/wheaton and am actually happy to currently have fells till gates is back (ARI Fells)

  9. Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
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    IDP’s need to be fixed if ron parker gets no pts for completely by himself nullifying an over 30 yard gain by knocking that ball out, or maybe yahoo will give him a pass defended later.

  10. Tehol Beddict says:
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    whats going on in here guys. this is interesting game. should be a cool second half

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Tehol Beddict: I FUCKING LOVE THIS GAME WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

      • Tehol Beddict says:
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        @Jay: LOL. it was looking bleak for ur pick now u look genius. WHERE THE FUCK IS C.J. [email protected]?!?!?!?

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          @Tehol Beddict: Yup, he gone now. Oh well. This is now the official season of “questionable”.

          • Tehol Beddict says:
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            @Jay: i had him ranked top 15 ahahhaa. why did he suit up?????

              • Tehol Beddict says:
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                @Jay: i think i have him in writers league too. FUCK ME RUNNING

                • Jay

                  Jay says:
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                  @Tehol Beddict: makes sense since he’s fucking you by not running.

              • Tehol Beddict says:
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                @Jay: HES BACK

  11. Gregg says:
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    Got offered Eifert for Sankey. I have RB depth and my TE is Walker.

    Accept?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      I’d hold.

      • Gregg says:
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        @Jay: What level RB do you think is worth dealing for Eifert?

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          @Gregg: rb4 maybe. I think you should see what Sankey can do.

  12. andy says:
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    Gratuitous use of gifs like this one and flamethrowing Rivers are what really keep me coming back to Razzball :P

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @andy: I keep my promises!

Comments are closed.