We’ve now moved on from the first week of football, with all the time in between being spent exhausting profound energy on armchair analysis of who looked good and who looked bad, who’s done and who’s not, all with the knowledge that the entirety of our data set is resting on the laurels on the small sample size of one singular game. Poor Laurel. That being said, Peyton is done. Finished. As a Chargers fan, that is my complete and unbiased analyzation of the matter. You know it’s true because that statement had the word “anal” in it. To be fair, there’s a lot of worry out there for what probably the greatest quarterback to play the game. Simply put, against the Ravens, he did not look good. Baltimore’s defense was content defending the mid-range and short game of Manning, daring him to throw the ball long, something he just couldn’t do. In return, we watched a game that was played in-between the 30-yard lines, something that probably hadn’t been done since the infamous Steelers smackdown of the Dolphins, 3-0 back in 2007. Granted, the Ravens and Broncos exit strategy for thier game provided some zeal and zest, and that’s not sarcasm. I brought out my “z” words, afterall. But to circle back to beginning, this is one-week armchair analysis (back to anal too I suppose, hey now), so I’m still expecting Peyton Manning to not look so terrible. It would go a long way tonight against the Chiefs if Manning continued his personal domination over them and would certainly quiet the doubters. He is 13-1 against them all time, and the one loss came in 2004 where he threw 472 yards with 5 touchdowns. So we’ll just have to see if Forehead can figure it out…
By the Numbers
4.4 – Peyton Mannings yards per attempt in Week 1.
21 – The number of straight drives (including preseason) that Peyton Manning has lead without a touchdown.
21 – The circumference, in feet, of Peyton’s forehead.
Take one sip of beer if…
You see Manningface. (Take baby sips.)
Demaryius Thomas probably should have gotten the ball instead of whoever did.
Alex Smith checks down. (Take baby sips.)
Jamaal Charles isn’t involved in the play but should have been.
Take one shot of liquor if…
You see John Elway neighing in the booth.
Andy Reid calls a dumb timeout.
You wonder why Gary Kubiak was able to return to head coaching in the NFL.
Totally Legitimate Game Prediction
Broncos – Whatever score it takes to finish the season 1-15*.
Chiefs – Whatever score it takes to finish the season 1-15*.
*Totally unbiased Chargers opinion.