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Ah yes, the required prime time NFC South showdown that’s required at least twice a year, featuring mediocracy at it’s finest, and always ending with 400 combined points, earned in the derpiest way possible. But this year might be different. Well, with the Saints 1-4, maybe just half different. The Atlanta Falcons, at a surprising 5-0, look to open the season with six straight wins. Which would also mean they would have consecutive road wins for the first time in 13 seasons. That’s basically the most NFC South thing I’ve ever written. Now, six wins would be a strong statement if it weren’t against such a questionable schedule and with such happenstance circumstances. That schedule has included the Eagles, Giants, Romo-less (or Weeden-more!) Cowboys, Texans, and Washington Potatoes. The circumstances? They’ve trailed in the fourth quarter in four of those five games… which essentially means they could be sharing a similar record with the Saints if not for a little bit of luck and something called Devonta Freeman. The same Freeman who used to make Trent Richardson seem useful. Can the Falcons and Freeman (and Julio Jones hamstring) keep the streak going? I don’t know, but if Sean Peyton’s lemon face is in full force tonight, I’d say: MAYBE.

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Rankings have been updated for tonight’s game and can be found here

By the Numbers

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4 – The number of receiving touchdowns by Julio Jones the first three games of the season. He’s had zero in the last two while dealing with a hamstring issue.

5.1 – The average yards per carry the last three weeks by Devonta Freeman.

1999 – The Saints had their worst start of the season in 1999, going 1-7.

381 – Yards by Willie Snead, which leads the team.

WTF – Roddy White’s season thus far. I don’t care if it’s not a number.

 

Drinking Game

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Take one sip of beer if…

You see Sean Payton’s lemon face. (See above for example.)

Tony Gonzalez is mentioned.

You see Roddy White.

Someone gets the ball when Julio Jones should have.

You see Rob Ryan say “F*CK!”.

Phil Simms says something absolutely asinine. (Take baby sips…)

Jason Garrett calls a dumb toss, reverse, or draw on a 3rd-and-five or more.

Someone pronounces “New Orleans” differently than you do.

Take one shot of liquor if…

Katrina or Bountygate is mentioned.

You hear Phil Simms go ”Well JEEEEEEM…”.

You see Arthur Blank looking pensive with his bizarre pedo-mustache.

There’s a crowd shot with fan holding a “Who Dat” sign.

 

Totally Legitimate Game Prediction

To celebrate last night's win, Arthur Blank tied a damsel to a train track.

Falcons – 584

Saints – 923

 

 

  1. G-man says:
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    Hey man I love your football drinking games! They’re hilarious! Do you think Lamar Miller is a buy low right now? I’m thinking of making an offer of karlos Williams and Landry for him.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @G-man: Thanks! I think so, and I think that’s a fair trade. But it would make me nervous…

  2. Crapshoot Kershaw says:
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    this rank look bout right in a dyansty PPR

    Michael/J.Bell/Riddick/K.Davis

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Crapshoot Kershaw: Maybe Riddick over Bell slightly, and Michael behind both of them.

      • Crapshoot Kershaw says:
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        @Jay: ok, well good thing i only dropped Davis for Michael. I bid more on him than Riddick, somebody get Riddick for a buck cheaper than i bid on Michael. I kept Bell. Idea was since DET clearly wants Abdullah to be used for future i might be better off with having somebody more than 2 DET guys.

  3. Scooter G says:
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    Which side of this trade do you prefer in 10 team standard?

    Moncrief and k williams for A Foster

  4. Mick says:
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    Start 1 qb, 2 rb , 3 wr and 1 te with 1 flex rb/wr/te in a 12 team 1 ppr league. I have Ben and Dalton at qb. I have AP, Forte, CJ2K and Gurley at rb. I have M. Jones, TY Hilton, M. Bryant, D. Adams and S. Johnson at wr. I have Gates and Kelce at te. I am obviously week at wr. The Antonio Brown owner wants Gurley. I am pretty sure I can get Brown for Gurley and Kelce or Gates. Do you think this is too much? I had rather trade Gurley and a wr or Gurley straight up but don’t think he will go for it. What do you think I should offer? Would you go Gurley and Kelce or Gates for Brown if it comes down to that? Thanks for any input and Razzball rocks!

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Mick: I think it’s fair. Ben should be back soon. And thanks!

  5. Timuh says:
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    Falcons need to get points on the board there … bad decision and terrible execution

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Timuh: Those are the Falcons I know…

  6. Timuh says:
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    Jay – thoughts on the following trade: my J Hill and Snead for his Hopkins. I am pretty good at RB (Ivory/Gore/CJ Anderson/Latavius/Hill). But semi-week at WR (Julio/Maclin/Snead/A Rob)?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Timuh: Hopkins side then, but in a vacuum, I think it’s Hill slightly.

  7. Montezuma's Revenge... right now says:
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    PPR with .1 pts per return yard, kinda hesitant (it’s why i hadn’t thought to ask yet) to drop spiller since he could go back to the returns which he was scheduled to do in preseason.

    start 2 RB with 1 flex
    duke johnson/vereen (man i hope those NYG WR stay hurt)/forte/ellington/spiller/bradshaw

    I got a claim out to drop bradshaw for michael on sunday, wondering if it might be better to drop spiller and keep bradshaw? Either way it’s looking like Spiller’s roster spot is the one that might be used for DEF bye week (i have DEN kicker and DEF, and don’t want to drop either, but will drop the kicker obviously)

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Montezuma’s Revenge… right now: yeah, I like Spiller. Hold for now. I think Bradshaw and Michael are a coin flip honestly. Leaning Bradshaw ever so slighty.

      • Montezuma's Revenge... right now says:
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        @Jay: i just saw the other spiller discussions from today, snap count going up.

          • Montezuma's Revenge... right now says:
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            @Jay: i remember him on the Rams, he’s not that good, just wasn’t covered like snead and cooks were today. Brees looks fine again. that’s good to see, but let’s see it on the road too, in say a road non-division game.

            • Jay

              Jay says:
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              @Montezuma’s Revenge… right now: Yup, career game. I still like Spiller, but he’s on the bubble as startable, not rosterable as it seemed earlier in the year.

  8. Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
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    man, about to lose first game to the guy who i dropped freeman to. Amazing what good decisions will do to you. Could’ve dropped Jennings too, but of course Jennings had multiple seasons of being useful, whereas freeman had a season and two games of crap. that would be one hell of a team if it still had freeman and forte starting rather than 1 of vereen/duke johnson going at RB 2.

    Is the name of the other announcer even Jim in these, or is Simms just like Marlon Wayans’ Tyrone (and in the book too) from Requiem?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Aubrey Plaza’s Pillow: No one would have blamed you and I doubt he picked him up thinking this was going to happen. I missed on Freeman too, but then again, so did everyone. And I mean everyone. Jim Nantz is the play-by-play guy. Simms always calls him JEEEEEM. It annoys the shit out of me. At least when Al Michaels goes “YUUUUGE” it sounds more funny than swarmy.

      • Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
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        @Jay: yeah i know, i just wondered maybe Simms does that with everybody, ya heard me Jim

  9. El Jefe says:
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    It could be worse, take Simms over Buck any day… Or Millen for that matter as he clearly knows nothing about football…

Comments are closed.