As has been a reoccurring theme this season (and all of last year if you were hanging out with us), the NFC East is known for the derp and nothing but the derp. Call it the cornucopia of derp, if you will. And you should, because Thanksgiving is just a mere few months away. Which is close enough for me, because turkey. And while the Cowboys and Eagles always offer their own unique brand of derp, Washington and the New York “Football” (HUR DUR) Giants were born in it. Molded by it. Watching these two teams is always an existential exploration of mascochism for their fans, and when you combine two such forces of derp, it’s almost like going on a life-fulfilling camping trip. The air is so fresh, the scenery is so majestic. The catharsis of it all… and then you get lyme disease. It’s like the Greek myth of Icarus and Daedalus, but in this case, Icarus is the derp, we are Daedalus, and these two teams are the sun. Ya know, maybe I should have just stuck to writing about turkey…
Rankings have been updated for tonight’s game and can be found here.
By the Numbers
5 – The Giants have five straight wins over Washington.
123 – Yards gained on the ground by Matt Jones in Week 2.
121 – Yards gained on the ground by Alfred Morris in Week 1.
68 – Rushing yards allowed by the Giants defense, ranked third in the NFL.
3.59 – The total amount of yards that both Matt Jones and Alfred Morris will run for tonight based on my calculations.
You + Me = Us – Pretty much the extent of my mathematical skills.
3 – The amount of timeouts a team has each half, just as a friendly reminder to Eli Manning.
Drinking Game
Take one sip of beer if…
RG3’s injuries (knee or ankle) are mentioned in any context.
The Giants get into the redzone and end up settling for a field goal.
Kirk Cousins and the word “leader” or “leadership” are used in the same sentence.
You here Phil Simms go” Well JEEEEEEM…”.
Kirk Cousins totally whiffs on a receiver.
Take one shot of liquor if…
Coughlin is chewing gum, cocks his sideways, and puts his hands on his hips.
Eliface happens.
Jay Gruden looks clueless as to what is going on.
Totally Legitmate Game Prediction
Washington – 0. The amount of money that the public relations arm of the team has earned through their hard work.
Giants – -1. Because it’s the Giants and we’re still in the first month of the season.
