As has been a reoccurring theme this season (and all of last year if you were hanging out with us), the NFC East is known for the derp and nothing but the derp. Call it the cornucopia of derp, if you will. And you should, because Thanksgiving is just a mere few months away. Which is close enough for me, because turkey. And while the Cowboys and Eagles always offer their own unique brand of derp, Washington and the New York “Football” (HUR DUR) Giants were born in it. Molded by it. Watching these two teams is always an existential exploration of mascochism for their fans, and when you combine two such forces of derp, it’s almost like going on a life-fulfilling camping trip. The air is so fresh, the scenery is so majestic. The catharsis of it all… and then you get lyme disease. It’s like the Greek myth of Icarus and Daedalus, but in this case, Icarus is the derp, we are Daedalus, and these two teams are the sun. Ya know, maybe I should have just stuck to writing about turkey…

Rankings have been updated for tonight’s game and can be found here.


By the Numbers


5 – The Giants have five straight wins over Washington.

123 – Yards gained on the ground by Matt Jones in Week 2.

121 – Yards gained on the ground by Alfred Morris in Week 1.

68 – Rushing yards allowed by the Giants defense, ranked third in the NFL.

3.59 – The total amount of yards that both Matt Jones and Alfred Morris will run for tonight based on my calculations.

You + Me = Us – Pretty much the extent of my mathematical skills.

3 – The amount of timeouts a team has each half, just as a friendly reminder to Eli Manning.


Drinking Game


Take one sip of beer if…

RG3’s injuries (knee or ankle) are mentioned in any context.

The Giants get into the redzone and end up settling for a field goal.

Kirk Cousins and the word “leader” or “leadership” are used in the same sentence.

You here Phil Simms go” Well JEEEEEEM…”.

Kirk Cousins totally whiffs on a receiver.

Take one shot of liquor if…

Coughlin is chewing gum, cocks his sideways, and puts his hands on his hips.

Eliface happens.

Jay Gruden looks clueless as to what is going on.


Totally Legitmate Game Prediction


Washington – 0. The amount of money that the public relations arm of the team has earned through their hard work.

Giants – -1. Because it’s the Giants and we’re still in the first month of the season.



  1. bQ says:

    start rashad jennings over rishard matthews, coleman, marvin jonesin a ppr?

    • Jay

      Jay says:

      @bQ: Yup.

  2. Dom B says:

    Ok so I am starting Eli Manning if I don’t want to lose Phillip Rivers on the wavier wire is it okay to drop blount for him. Al so keepic current roster or add Isaiah Crowell or Shane Verren

    My roster
    RB Leveon Bell
    RB Jonathan Stewart
    WR Julio Jones
    WR AJ Green
    TE Jason Witten
    Flex Latavius Murray
    Either Phillip Rivers or Legartte Blount

    • Jay

      Jay says:

      @Dom B: If you have to burn a claim, I think you’re fine holding there. I’d add Crowell over Blount.

  3. Comatose says:

    Meant to ask you this in your rankings post. Do I have permission to start Matt Jones over MORRIS tonight? Also starting Hill and L. Murray, in a standard league. Thanks.

    • Jay

      Jay says:

      @Comatose: Eh, still going Morris there, but they’re close. Real close.

  4. Steve Stevenson says:

    Honest to god i’m playing against andre williams in two leagues. How are teams so hard up that they already have to start this hump, and how is it turning out to be a good idea that’s going to beat two of my teams?

    Real question, orange julius is a top __ TE once he’s back and up to speed?

    • Jay

      Jay says:

      @Steve Stevenson: I’d say top 7. And I have no idea how Williams is doing this.

  5. Brian says:

    Quick question. In a 1.0 PPR league I have Carson Palmer as my QB. We start 3 WR and 2 RB. I was offered Andrew Luck for Dez Bryant and Justin Forsett.

    My WR right now are Dez Bryant, Julian Edelman, Stevie Johnson, and Anquan Boldin
    My RB are CJ Anderson, Frank Gore, Justin Forsett, and Giovanni Bernard.
    My QB is Carson Palmer

    I’m thin in WR already, but I think Luck is about to turn it around big time and I don’t really need Forsett. And I know QB is deep enough enough to stream if needed and Palmer looks fine. So I’m torn. Should I trade for Luck?

    • Jay

      Jay says:

      @Brian: it should work in theory. I just hope the Colts don’t fall apart.

  6. tentyme says:

    in a 12 league super flex so I start 2 ab’s i start 2 rb’s I have ingram and forsett. no Rb depth other than dion lewis and starks but my only wr are landry n cooks.with funchess n dorsett on the bench.. yuck !! would you trade lewis for amari cooper then i’d have no rb depth again but will will cooper be better overall talent for my team……. side note. my te’s are witten, jules thomas and delaine walker would you trader jules thomas for golden tate?? thx for your help.. I’m stumped here.

    • tentyme says:

      @tentyme: BTW this is a PPR league,

    • Jay

      Jay says:

      @tentyme: i would do both. They shore up some of your weaknesses.

  7. FrankGrimes says:

    Gruden looks like Lumpy from leave it to beaver
    but lumpy prolly would be a better head coach

  8. shookonespart2 says:

    i enjoy your analyses but i think i preferred some of your ‘gutsy’ calls rather than the high floor options. obviously a top 15 playrer is a top 15 player but after that not much reason to play it safe. then again i guess it depends if you’re projected to win or not (by your own accounts not espns crappy projections). anyway this all leads to pierre garcon. as long as kirk cousins is his qb this dude is going to struggle and so is every redskins player. if i owned d-jax i think i’m trying to sell too. wondering your thoughts on the situation? thinking about straight dropping pierre garcon in a 12 team league

    • The Harrow says:

      @shookonespart2: he’s trying to get his rankings up, and gambling on a guy to be 20ish spots ahead of his production is exactly how you don’t have accurate rankings; would you rather have a guy get a high % close to exactly right or have 1 out of 10 long shots blow up. The guy who went after the longshots and tries claiming he knows what he’s doing (by referencing the 1 guy who in fact blew up) compared the guy making the constantly close to exact calls is a real twit. The fact that it only took Jaywrong 2 weeks of rankings being not to his up to snuff level shows just how much lack of a twit he is.

  9. mick says:

    I have been offered D. Murray for T Gurley. I am hesitant to pull the trigger. I have been waiting for Gurley. ROS who do you like? Thanks for any input.

Comments are closed.