I have to say, during yesterday’s “Dress Like an Empty Seat Day” game in San Francisco, it dawned on me that if you were to do it all over again, I’m pretty sure David Johnson would be your number one overall pick. I’D DRAFT HIM AT BIRTH SON. Obviously, that was literal, but even if you take it figuratively, and probably you’d still go Antonio Brown, but who else is there? And to be fair, I think there were probably more question marks with Johnson than that of Todd Gurley entering the season, but what we’ve seen here is a perfect storm of Bruce Arian’s random play-calling, a passing attack that thinks consistency is a dirty word, and an unwillingness by the other team to do something as fundamental to football as tackling. And all of these things were on full display last night, starting with a first quarter that convinced me the game would end in a 0-0 tie. Granted, I think it became a watchable game after three hours of CBS promotions, but even by Thursday Night Football standards, it was pretty terrible. Are you ready to whine and moan about the quality of the game and everything associated with it it but still watch it every week? These are the tough questions folks. That being said, Jeremy Kerley became a thing. So I guess it’s 2012 again.

John Brown – 1 REC, 11 YDS. That’s the Brown we all know and love…

Larry Fitzgerald – 6 REC, 81 YDS, 2 TD. It kinda makes you wonder how Ryan Fitzpatrick got the Fitzmagic label. I’d blame Buffalo, but I couldn’t find any evidence that anyone actually lives there.

Michael Floyd – 1 TGTS. What do you think is wrong with Michael Floyd? He’s in a contract year, and should be, you know, at least trying. Now he’s getting out-snapped by Jaron Brown… I think it’s time to move on.

Blaine Gabbert – 18/31, 162 YDS, 5.2 AVG, 1 TD, 2 INT, 56.1 RTG and 10 CAR, 70 YDS, 7.0 AVG, 1 TD. Guys, I’m starting to think this Gabbert guy isn’t very good.

David Johnson – 27 CAR, 157 YDS, 5.8 AVG, 2 TD and 3 REC, 28 YDS, 9.3 AVG. You might think you were being lulled to sleep (or death) by Phil Simms and Jim Nantz… and then… JOHNSON IS INSIDE OF YOU! I have to say, this new Arians strategy of just giving the ball to Johnson every snap is really paying off. And I’d just like to point out that Rudy’s projections are getting pretty close. Granted, it’s a finicky thing; projections, but the Pigskinator called for him getting 27 CAR, 127 YDS, 4.7 AVG, 1 TD and 5 REC, 27 YDS, 5.7 AVG. It also called him being the second highest scoring running back, which seems like a safe bet…

Drew Stanton – 11/28, 124 YDS, 2 TD, 77.1 RTG and 2 CAR, -2 YDS. You guys know anyone who started Drew “Two TDs” Stanton? You know, the alternate universe I most want to live in is the one where Carson Palmer has never had a single injury. I wonder, how are Keenan Allen’s ACLs in this universe? Made out of adamantium, that’s for sure.


Final Thought


I wanna see Kaepernick in a golf visor. That would be f*cking epic…