So that’s a wrap folks. All the 8-8 jokes… they’re over, done, the end is here. The Cowboys have won their ninth game of the year, something they hadn’t accomplished since 2009, including three 8-8 finishes in the past three years. But that’s okay, I actually researched this on Google and it turns out that Romonobyl actually has four reactors, which means there’s still plenty of time for the Cowboys to deliver their always consistent dose of schadenfreude during the holidays. I know this, because science bro. Their gift to all of us, if you will. The Bears in the meantime, well, wow. Total self-destruct mode has been achieved. I mean, with some improvement, this team could be as good as a slightly better but still not very good team, so there’s that, I guess. The real question I keep asking myself is: if a Bear doesn’t give a sh*t in the woods, does any one hear it?
Cowboys – 41, Bears –Â 28
Tony Romo – 21/26, 205 YDS, 3 TD and 2 CAR, -2 YDS. Pssst… Hey, Romo… it’s December… pass it along.
DeMarco Murray – 32 CAR, 179 YDS, 1 TD and 9 REC, 49 YDS. Goddammit Bears, I know you don’t care, like, at all, but some of us were playing against Murray…
Cole Beasley – 3 REC, 42 YDS, 2 TD. Cole Beasley has gained a level! Cole Beasley has attained grit level white and undersized!
Jay Cutler – 32/46, 341 YDS, 2 TD, 1 INT and 2 CAR, 9 YDS. Nothing fires up Cutler more than being down 25 points with less than a quarter to go, but before he got all of that garbage time production, let’s go over some of his thoughts earlier in the game…Â Cutler, 9:00 PM: Damn it, Brandon is out. Cutler, 10:45 PM: Oh, I have Alshon?
Matt Forte – 13 CAR, 26 YDS, 1 TD and 8 REC, 74 YDS, 1 FUM. In a game featuring Cutler and Romo, the player that ended up being tied for the most turnovers was Matt Forte? This makes no sense.
Brandon Marshall – 3 REC, 61 YDS. Brandon Marshall, We Hardly Knew Ye. Was taken out of the game in an ambulance from an apparent rib injury. He tweeted last night that he’s “good”, but the hashtag left some doubt. Thank goodness for hashtags, not just part of McDonald’s breakfast menu anymore!
