It was only two hours before the show when Tony Pollard got the call. Ezekiel Elliott was indisposed. Zeke ate some questionable Mexican food on Saturday night and wouldn’t be able to venture too far from the toilet. Pollard came in, cool as Zeke’s baby wipes, handling 12 carries for 69 yards while snatching up 6 catches for 63 yards and his 4th and 5th touchdowns. If Elliott’s still chained to the porcelain throne next week (he actually has a calf injury and I expect he’s back next week) then Pollard would be a solid RB2 against the Eagles. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday for fantasy football:
Cam Newton – 17/27 for 209 yards, 9 carries for 38 yards. Remember when Cam was a good quarterback? On the plus side he can still play full back for a Canadian team, maybe the Montreal Alouettes.
Sony Michel – 10 carries for 74 yards, 1 catch for 8 yards. It was a bit of a surprise when Damien Harris (ankle) was ruled out on Saturday, but it allowed Sony to playstation. I mean play football. This Patriots offense is really pathetic, but at least Jakobi Meyers (7 catches for 111 yards) brought some yardage to the garbage party.
Salvon Ahmed – 23 carries for 122 yards, 1 catch for 5 yards and his 2nd touchdown with a 2 point conversion as well. The Dolphins have really leaned in on Ahmed, giving him 20+ carries in two of his three starts when Myles Gaskin (COVID) has been out. I’m curious to see how the usage shakes out when both these youngsters are healthy, it could be a nice two headed monster. Nice for real life, that is, unfortunate for fantasy life.
James Robinson – 16 carries for 35 yards, 3 catches for 18 yards and his 10th touchdown. They say to dance with the one who brung you. JRob did bring us but then he sucked face in the bathroom with our best friend, Gardner Minshew (22/29 for 226 yards, 2 carries for 9 yards and 2 touchdowns), for three quarters. Fortunately Robinson showed back up in the 4th quarter to give us some hand-stuff, so it wasn’t the worst dance.
Lamar Jackson – 17/22 for 243 yards, 10 carries for 35 yards, 3 passing touchdowns, 1 rushing touchdown and 1 interception–he now has 21 passing touchdowns and 7 rushing touchdowns. Week after week I said LJax was a buy-low for the fantasy playoffs as he struggled through a brutal stretch of difficult match ups. Hopefully someone was able to take advantage, I wasn’t able to.
J.K. Dobbins – 14 carries for 64 yards, 1 catch for 17 yards and his 5th rushing touchdown. That’s four straight weeks he’s found the end zone. If Gus would just get run over by a bus then Dobbins would be a fantasy monster.
Marquise Brown – 6 catches for 98 yards. Life is finally returning to Hollywood.
Mark Andrews – 5 catches for 66 yards and his 7th touchdown. If Mandrews hadn’t caught Corona he’d have a decent chance at double digit TDs for the second straight year. I expected touchdown regression but the big man just seems to have a knack for getting open down by the goal line.
David Johnson – 8 carries for 27 yards, 11 catches for 106 yards. Wow, 11 catches! That’s vintage DJ! Jazzy Jeff would be proud.
Brandin Cooks – 6 catches for 59 yards. After missing last week, Cooks returned but was outshined by Keke Coutee (5 catches for 53 yards and his 3rd touchdown) and Chad Hansen (2 catches for 55 yards and his 1st career touchdown). Just like we all expected.
Jonathan Taylor – 16 carries for 83 yards, 4 catches for 12 yards and his 8th touchdown. That’s also four TDs in the past two weeks. I ranked him as an RB1 in the preseason and it looked like an even bigger fool than normal around week 11, but now who’s laughing!
Zach Pascal – 5 catches for 79 yards and his 3rd and 4th touchdowns. Right when we get jazzed for the resurgence of T.Y. Hilton (4 catches for 71 yards), Pascal shows up to splash cold water. I wouldn’t hesitate to return to Hilton next week though, he came up just a yard short of a 42 yard touchdown late.
D’Andre Swift – 15 carries for 67 yards, 4 catches for 15 yards and his 8th and 9th touchdowns. Swift has come on strong late but he’s only at 738 scrimmage yards which means our friend Andy Behrens will have to go by D’Andy all next year:
Marvin Jones Jr. – 10 catches for 112 yards and his 7th touchdown. The Martian’s consistent inconsistency has been incredible:
Week 12 – 48 yards
Week 13 – 116 yards and 1 touchdown
Week 14 – 48 yards
Week 15 – 112 yards and 1 touchdown
Derrick Henry – 24 carries for 147 yards, 2 catches for 5 yards and his 15th touchdown. Henry now has 1,679 rushing yards on the season, meaning he needs just 321 more yards over the final two weeks to reach 2,000. For some reason rookie Darrynton Evans (8 carries for 30 yards, 2 catches for 27 yards and his 1st career touchdown) is now meddling with the Predator’s plans.
Corey Davis – 4 catches for 110 yards and his 5th touchdown. The post-post-hype breakout continues for Davis who now is just 45 yards shy of his first career 1,000 yard receiving season. We all knew Corey Davis would be better than Michael Thomas this year, right?
A.J. Brown – 5 catches for 44 yards and his 10th touchdown. That’s also his 10th touchdown in his last 11 games. This would’ve been an even huger season if Brown hadn’t been sidelined for two games back in September.
Brandon Aiyuk – 9 catches for 73 yards and his 7th touchdown. There’s no question that Aiyuk is having a fantastic rookie year but he’s also seen a whopping 62 targets over the past five weeks. To be fair, those targets have come from Nick Mullens (21/36 for 219 yards, 2 touchdowns and 2 interceptions) so it’s not like he’s in a dream situation. Point is, he won’t be seeing 14 targets per game once Kittle and Deebo are back.
Raheem Mostert – 14 carries for 68 yards. Mostert’s injuries opened the door for Jeff Wilson (16 carries for 60 yards and his 6th touchdown) to swoop in and infect this backfield with committee-itis. Neither player is more than a flex play at this point.
Amari Cooper – 2 catches for 10 yards. I hope nobody had to start Amari in their semifinals because he delivered a steaming Dallas dump. CeeDee Lamb (5 catches for 85 yards and a return touchdown) on the other hand took an onside kick back for a touchdown at the end of the game. Cha Ching!
Russell Wilson – 18/27 for 121 yards, 6 carries for 52 yards, 1 passing touchdown and 1 interception–he now has 37 passing touchdowns on the season. You asked Russ for a Michelin 3-star meal and he served you up some Mac n’ Cheese with a side of Spaghetti-O’s.
D.K. Metcalf – 5 catches for 43 yards. When Russ cooks like a drunken college student, it’s us Metcalf and Tyler Lockett (4 catches for 34 yards) owners who really suffer. And the Wilson owners too, I guess, but I don’t own him. Sober up for championship week please, Russ!
Chris Carson – 15 carries for 63 yards, 2 catches for 6 yards. Carson was back in the bell cow role after sharing with Carlos Hyde (2 carries for 55 yards, 2 catches for 8 yards and his ) last week, but unfortunately Hyde outperformed him on only four touches. What I wouldn’t do for four touches.
Terry McLaurin – 7 catches for 77 yards. Not quite 777. At least Dwayne Haskins (38/55 for 295 yards, 3 carries for 28 yards, 1 passing touchdown and 2 interceptions) treated his luxury F1 right, giving him 12 targets. Although he didn’t treat him quite as well as Logan Thomas (13 catches for 101 yards) who saw 15 targets.
J.D. McKissic – 13 carries for 51 yards, 9 catches for 56 yards and his 2nd touchdown. All I can think when I see McKissic racking up all these fantasy points is what might’ve been for all my Antonio Gibson (toe) teams. The fantasy gods hast forsaken me!
David Montgomery – 32 carries for 146 yards, 1 catch for 16 yards and his 7th and 8th touchdowns. I knew Full Monty was hung like a horse, obviously, but my fantasy opponent had no idea. League winning girth.
Allen Robinson – 4 catches for 83 yards. It was an unexpected game script as Da Bears played from ahead the entire game and only threw 21 times, but it was Darnell Mooney (4 catches for 49 yards, 1 carry for 16 yards and his 4th touchdown) who came out of hibernation clawing into the end zone.
Dalvin Cook – 24 carries for 132 yards, 5 catches for 27 yards and his 16th touchdown. Here’s your 3-star Michelin Chef. The amazing thing about Dalvin is it doesn’t matter whether its a close game or a blowout in either direct, he puts the numbers up regardless of game script. Also, that rhetoric about limiting his workload was the fakest news of 2020.
Adam Thielen – 2 catches for 11 yards and his 13th touchdown. Thielen was one blown coverage away from being completely skunked. Hey Bears, maybe you want someone to guard Thielen on 3rd and goal from the 3 yard line!
Justin Jefferson – 8 catches for 104 yards. That’s El Jefe J-Jeffe’s 6th 100-yard game of the year and he’s seen 44 targets over the past four weeks. The sky’s the limit for this kid.
Leonard Fournette – 14 carries for 49 yards, 3 catches for 16 yards and his 4th and 5th touchdown. This is why I ranked Leo in my preseason top 20. Knew it would pay off eventually! I’d be surprised if Ronald Jones (finger) is back next week after his surgery.
Mike Evans – 6 catches for 110 yards. This was the first game that’d you’d be happy to start all of the Bucco receivers as Chris Godwin (4 catches for 36 yards and his 4th touchdown) and Antonio Brown (5 catches for 93 yards and his 1st touchdown) both found the end zone. Too bad they can’t play against the Falcons’ secondary every week.
Rob Gronkowski – 3 catches for 29 yards. Gronk again spent his week recording endless takes of Tommy and Gronky instead of practicing:
On this episode of Tommy & Gronky… 🌴
𝙍𝙊𝘽𝘽𝙄𝙀 𝙂 𝙍𝙃𝙔𝙈𝙀𝙎 pic.twitter.com/35HOpho6Jk
Calvin Ridley – 10 catches for 163 yards and his 9th touchdown. Who needs Julio? I mean, other than the people who drafted him in the 2nd round.
Todd Gurley – 1 carry for -1 yards, 2 catches for 15 yards. R.I.P. Toddfather.
Jalen Hurts – 24/44 fro 338 yards, 11 carries for 63 yards, 3 passing touchdowns and 1 rushing touchdown. I read Carson Wentz was demanding he start. Uhhh I don’t think so Carson, take a hike! This kid looks like a superstar.
Miles Sanders – 17 carries for 64 yards, 1 catch for 26 yards. One side-effect of this new and exciting Hurts offense is the versatile QB is stealing a bit of Colonel Sanders’ chicken. I’d still like to see a little more usage in the pass game. Makes no sense when your most dynamic player only gets two targets, especially in a game they were playing from behind.
Kyler Murray – 27/36 for 406 yards, 3 passing touchdowns, 8 carries for 29 yards, 3 passing touchdowns, 1 rushing touchdown and 1 interception–he now has 26 passing touchdowns and 11 rushing touchdowns on the season. He’s officially healthy. All is right in the world. Except for all the things I’ve complained about above and will complain about below.
DeAndre Hopkins – 9 catches for 169 yards and his 6th touchdown. Can you imagine trading this guy for two rolls of toilet paper and six ounces of hand sanitizer?
Kenyan Drake – 10 carries for 26 yards, 2 catches for 14 yards. The committee returned to Arizona this week as Chase Edmonds (11 carries for 47 yards, 3 catches for 19 yards and his 5th touchdown) rose from his role as Drake’s backup singer to take the spotlight, The duet gave me a headache.
Cam Akers – 15 carries for 63 yards, 1 catch for -1 yards. In the biggest smash spot after the biggest breakout, we should’ve seen the letdown coming. Akers did have a touchdown called back on a weak hold for what it’s worth–absolutely nothing. But at least Akers owners, if they advanced, can take solace in the fact that no other RB saw more than one carry.
Cooper Kupp – 5 catches for 39 yards. The most disappointing Cooper since Cooper Manning.
Robert Woods – 6 catches for 56 yards, 1 carry for 40 yards and his 8th touchdown. Robert’s fantasy owners were about the only ones who got wood from this game. He needs 148 receiving yards over the final two weeks to reach 1,000 yards for the third straight season.
Tyler Higbee – 4 catches for 67 yards and his 5th touchdown. You know the old saying, even a Higbust finds an acorn every once in awhile.
Patrick Mahomes – 26/47 for 254 yards, 7 carries for 37 yards and 3 passing touchdowns–he now has 36 passing touchdowns on the season. Mahomie has disappointed his homies slightly in the playoffs, but even without his A-game he’ll never ruin you. His floor’s as high as it gets.
Tyreek Hill – 6 catches for 53 yards and his 17th touchdown. The Cheetah has torn up the savannah this year. I’m not sure whether I’ll be ranking Hill, Adams or Metcalf number one next year. They’re all incredible.
Clyde Edwards-Helaire – 14 carries for 79 yards, 1 catch for 4 yards before leaving with a painful looking injury. I read this could be anything from a hip to a hamstring to a knee injury, maybe we’ll know more by the time you’re reading this but I can’t imagine we see Clyde before their first playoff game at the earliest. This means Le’Veon Bell (15 carries for 62 yards, 1 catch for 14 yards and his 2nd touchdown) is suddenly a high end RB2 for fantasy championship week against the Falcons.
Travis Kelce – 8 catches for 68 yards and his 10th touchdown. Incredible that Kelce is putting up a career year at age 31. He’s now tied his career high in TDs (10) and he’s only 5 receptions and 18 yards shy of his career marks with two games remaining. Think about that next time you get excited to draft Evan Engram.
Drew Brees – 15/34 for 234 yards, 3 touchdowns and 1 interception. I can’t overstate how bad Brees looked in this one for 3.5 quarters. For awhile I thought Taysom Hill (2 carries for 3 yards and his 6th rushing touchdown) was going to outscore him on his two touches. It’s clear Brees was no where near 100% and I’d be very hesitant to start him next week in a championship match.
Alvin Kamara – 11 carries for 54 yards, 3 catches for 40 yards and his 15th touchdown. Even in one of the ugliest games of Brees’ career, Alvin the Chipmunk still went to town. He’s back in the elite RB1 tier with Henry and Cook for championship week.
Nick Chubb – 15 carries for 50 yards, 2 catches for 16 yards and his 10th touchdown. What a Chubb tease! I needed another 10 fantasy points out of his Chubb. I squeezed and tugged, even tried some Jergens, but nothing happened.
Kareem Hunt – 7 carries for 21 yards, 3 catches for 7 yards. Woof! The Sunday night game was slow paced and painful for anyone who started any players in the game.
Jarvis Landry – 7 catches for 61 yards and his 3rd touchdown. Alright I lied, starting the Landryman actually wasn’t painful. He took care of the dirty clothes yet again.
Wayne Gallman – 9 carries for 29 yards. So many disappointing playoff performances from so many of the guys who brought us to the ball. I’m never going to another dude ball again!