I was really tired and didn’t think I was going to be able to get through these but I’ve found my second wind and by that I mean my wife handed me what was left of her Rock Star – sugar free, of course – and now my fingers are typing so fast, I fear I might start a fire with how fast they’re going and I can’t stop at this point which is really frustrating because I have to pee and even when I put a period. I just keep going, will someone please stop this madness, I can’t feel my index fingers anymore *wife grabs fire extinguisher*.   Phew, that was close.  Well, now that I’m back from the ER with my hands wrapped in gauze, I’m here to recap a bit more on 2013.  I already brought you the Top 20 Wide Receivers For 2013 Fantasy Football a bit a go but unlike Tight End and Quarterback, that’s really not as in depth as this position needs.  Nay, I need TWO whole posts and then there’s nothing left to write about it.  Until next week when I start the whole process all over again.  I feel like the Fred the Baker from Dunkin Donuts sometimes.  But then I think about it and say to myself ‘you guys are worth it’.  Then I pause and say ‘maybe you’re worth it, let me think on it for a bit while I make the donuts’.  This is a nightly thing, y’all!  But enough about my baking skills, let’s throw this dough in the oven and call it good.  Here are the Top 40 Wide Receivers from the 2013 Fantasy Football season…

Stats based on receptions, receiving yards, receiving touchdowns, rushing yards and rushing touchdowns.  Rankings based on a PPR setting.

21. Marvin JonesOdd when a guy posts 10 TDs and you can’t remember when you would’ve started him.  Then I remembered who was throwing to him and yup, sho-nuff, Jones was a home start (31/449/7) and an away sit (20/263/3).  Red Rocket in Cincy, Dingy Gingy everywhere else and clearly it affects the value of his supporting cast.  Based on talent, I’d love to get it on with Marvin…AHHHHHHHH, let’s get it on!  But really, we might be seeing his upside unless the light goes on inside Dalton’s head this off-season that road games are important too.  Preseason Rank #65, 2013 Projections: 48/586/3/56/0.  Final Numbers: 51/712/10/65/0

22. Riley Cooper – Despite starting the year in Vick’s dog house (not  a pun…it’s just not funny guys), Cooper climbed the ranks when Foles took control which isn’t too surprising if you remember how much he was targeted by Nick down the stretch in 2012.  What IS surprising is how much of this 22nd ranked guys value was squeezed into a 2 game window: 241 receiving yards and 5 TDs.  It was quite a magical vacation from reality into a place where drunk white guys with long hair go to Kenny Chesney concerts, say bad things and then become fantasy studs.  Preseason Unranked.  Final Numbers: 47/835/8/18/0

23. Wes Welker – So I called him Overrated in the offseason.  Yes, that happened.  Apologies for those who followed along.  But then again, I did tell you Decker was gonna be the better between the two when it was all said and done and last I checked, it was Decker and not Welker who finished top 10 for wideouts.  Yeah, I know he got concussed but ask any owner who enjoyed his final 6 games of the season how they feel about that statement.  Just for fun, I crunched the numbers and got 77/810/5 if he held his ending pace for a full season or as I like to call it ‘Welker’s ending line minus 5 TDs’.  That was the Welker I thought was coming and basically, the naysayers were half-right and the yaysayers were too.  Let’s just get all Buddha about it and say there was a middle way, shall we?  Preseason Rank #31, 2013 Projections: 85/1003/4/15/0.  Final Numbers: 73/778/10/0/0

24. Michael FloydMuch like Pink Floyd, Michael had moments of greatness mixed with moments of too much Roger Waters…or something like that.  I was a bit surprised the breakout happened this year given his QB threw 22 INTs but it was clear defenses were keyed in on Fitz and it gave Floyd a chance to shine on like a crazy diamond.  Just imagine if the Cardinals get some form of offensive line any time soon…doesn’t it feel like we’ve been saying that for like 5 years now?  Preseason Rank #61, 2013 Projections: 56/734/4/0/0.  Final Numbers: 65/1041/5/0/0

25. Mike WallaceSigh, what to do, what to do.  On one hand, we really should blame the offensive coordinator here.  It was a choppy, lumpy mess all year for the Dolphins.  On the other hand, Wallace did in some ways prove he wasn’t worth the money he wanted this off-season.  Sorry, you wanna be a superstar wideout, you have to perform in all situations and conditions.  You can send your excuses to VJax if you have any, Mr. 60 Minutes.  Preseason Rank #23, 2013 Projections: 68/1163/7/0/0.  Final Numbers: 73/930/5/33/0

26. Brian Hartline – So, in looking back on his original ranking, I said ‘Brian will be more Welker-y than Wes will be this year, cross my Hartline and hope to die’.  To be fair, I wasn’t 100% right on this call by any means but in terms of production and where you got him in drafts, I think I did a good job of highlighting him for ya.  Now we can only hope that the next Miami regime figures out how to maximize what they have and not stall the offense out every other quarter and we might see a Grit Jr. arrive in Florida.  Preseason Rank #33, 2013 Projections: 85/1088/5/0/0.  Final Numbers: 76/1016/4/0/0

27. Marques Colston – I don’t wanna talk about it.  No, seriously I don’t.  He was inept and hurt seemingly all year.  Then the moment I stopped trusting he’d ever come back, he was either on my bench or on my FA wire.  The Saints have some interesting off-season decisions to make between Colston and Moore and their young up and comers on how they want to move forward.  Something tells me there’ll be one more good and discounted season out of Colston if he returns to NOLA next year but after his 2013, that’s definitely a TBD.  And just for fun, here’s what Colston did to your 2013 in gif format.  Preseason Rank #11, 2013 Projections: 82/1156/9/0/0.  Final Numbers: 75/943/5/0/0

28. Golden TateSo when I originally ranked him, Harvin wasn’t hurt.  Then he was and I wiggly bumped him up into the top 40 WRs but even I didn’t think his end line was going to be this high.  So many WR injuries this year changed the landscape.  I feel like I’m talking about the WR34 or WR35 right now because we’re in the ‘pockets of usefulness’ section of our rankings.  Until Seattle is a pass-first or at least a more pass-heavy offense, I’m not going to be enamored with a ‘hawk wide out any time in the near future.  Preseason Rank #37, 2013 Projections: 65/968/11/56/0.  Final Numbers: 64/898/5/31/0

29. Victor CruzCruz salsa danced onto your teams and then ghost peppered your intestines the rest of the season.  Don’t feel too bad, most Giants players did that to their owners all year.  Well do feel bad about the Ghost Peppers.  You’re probably gonna need medical attention for that.  Cruz is still on my draft list in 2013 and is definitely a bounce back candidate but until I know what’s going to happen in New York from the top down, I’m not sure how aggressively I’ll be looking for a dance partner here.  Maybe I’ll ask Jacoby Jones instead.  Preseason Rank #9, 2013 Projections: 84/1218/10/0/0.  Final Numbers: 73/998/4/0/0

30. Kendall WrightTouchdowns.  Really, the difference between Wright finishing where Edelman did vs here is TDs.  He was a PPR monster for most of the year but much like my former High School self, he just couldn’t score.  Maybe he should ask his QBs out to a Nicholas Sparks movie and gently caress the inside of their thigh and see where that gets him next year.  Preseason Rank #42, 2013 Projections: 72/778/5/0/0.  Final Numbers: 94/1079/2/0/0

31. Jerricho Cotchery – I didn’t even know he was still alive, I thought Plaxico had shot him or something.  Fantasy-wise, he’s still dead to me.  Before we reach TL;DR territory on this guy, let’s just say you didn’t draft him, someone might have picked him up and people rarely if ever started him and maybe he won a few DFS leagues a couple of weeks.  There’s your epitaph.  Preseason Unranked.  Final Numbers: 46/602/10/-5/0

32. Cordarrelle PattersonThe craziest part about ‘relle is a huge amount of his value came on the ground.  Then you remember who was throwing to him and you say to yourself, ‘welp’.  He’s going to be an interesting target in drafts in 2014.  I’m gonna guess he goes higher than he should.  I like him but the hype train on him is gonna be coming in at rail-bending speeds when things actually get started.  I think I’ll hitchhike instead.  Preseason Rank #85, 2013 Projections: 32/346/2/72/0 (and two miscellaneous TDs).  Final Numbers: 45/469/4/158/3 (and two miscellaneous TDs).

33. Harry DouglasEveryone wanted the Harry D this year.  Your sister wanted it, your mom wanted it, heck your grandma couldn’t stop gushing about it.  He’s your top ranked Falcons WR for 2013.  Atlanta couldn’t CTRL+ALT+DEL this season any faster if they tried.  Preseason Unranked.  Final Numbers: 82/1067/2/0/0

34. Emmanuel SandersSo Cotchery happened.  Which means my Emmanuel Sanders Sleeper call didn’t amount to as much as we all had hoped.  The good news is that Jerricho is dead so this will never happen again.  Preseason Rank #39, 2013 Projections: 65/988/6/10/0.  Final Numbers; 67/740/6/25/0

35. Rod StreaterIf you knew which Oakland receiver to play from week to week, you either have a Crystal Ball that you’re using for the worst possible reasons or you’re on McGloin and Pryor’s period cycle.  I always find I like Raiders receivers but never find a way to pick which one will be ‘the guy to own’.  I’m starting to think the answer is ‘none’.  Preseason Rank #59, 2013 Projections: 58/934/4/0/0.  Final Numbers: 60/888/4/17/0

36. Eddie RoyalThere was a time that Eddie was Royalty amongst his owners.  That time was fleeting.  He ended a Royal pain if you kept him and had you singin’ like gold teeth, grey goose, trippin’ in the bathroom.  Blood stains, ball gowns, trashin’ the hotel room, We don’t care, we’re driving Cadillacs in our dreams.  Yeah, not much to say here.  Let’s move along.  Preseason Unranked.  Final Numbers: 47/631/8/21/0

37. Nate Washington – It is odd for the amount of bashing I do of the Titans passing attack, they did place two guys as top 40 wideouts.  That’s mehpressive.  Sorry, it’s not impressive.  Impressive is more like placing 3 in the top 40 with one in the top 10.  Having two WR3s on your team isn’t that outstanding.  Preseason Rank #63, 2013 Projections: 55/852/4/5/0.  Final Numbers: 58/919/3/0/0

38. Doug BaldwinRemember what I said about having two WR3s not being that impressive?  CTRL+C and CTRL+P, baby.  Gonna need to see some passing growth in the PNW before I get all that excited about these ‘hawks receivers.  Preseason Unranked.  Final Numbers: 50/778/5/6/0

39. Greg Jennings – Well this is awkward.  On the one hand, I did put him fairly close to where he ended up.  On the other, he fell woefully short of what I was expecting from him being the key receiver in Minny.  I don’t know whether to slap him and then kiss him or kiss him and then slap him.  I think I’ll settle for just slapping myself for talking preseason me into a Minny WR being a solid draft day investment.  Preseason Rank #34, 2013 Projection: 83/1079/6/0/0.  Final Numbers: 68/804/4/0/0

40. Terrance WilliamsI have TW written on my peachy folder for next year in a heart with an arrow through it and I’m rhythmically touching myself in the back of English class while looking at it as you read this right now.  I’m gonna be a little giddy about this guy this coming fall if you can’t tell.  Now pardon me while I go listen to The Divinyls.  Preseason Unranked.  Final Numbers: 44/736/5/4/0

  1. If Riley Cooper stays in PHI I’ll be looking to draft him regardless of whether or not Maclin returns. That Rod Streater looked pretty good down the stretch as well.
    Late round flyer on the latter. WR2 for Cooper. IMO
    Is it spring yet?

    • Sky

      Sky says:

      Cooper has a love connection with Foles so there’s that. Just don’t know I trust the scenario. WR3 type for me, albeit high end.

      Oakland needs a starting QB I can count on before I draft a Raiders WR. Holmes looked like a great find for them down the stretch as well. But nobody could actually throw to either.

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