I just snuck out of a court ordered gambling rehab facility to write this post, so I’ll have to be brief. After I was arrested for stealing old ladies’ purses from the retirement home down the block to fund my string of Arizona Cardinals’ Super Bowl wagers (a 50:1 lock!), the judge sentenced me to 6 month’s of in-patient rehab. Since I’ll be releasing my weekly fantasy football rankings each Thursday morning (except Thanksgiving week!) for the duration of the season, I’ve decided to throw in some bonus bold Thursday Night Football predictions along with my expertly handicapped pick for the contest:

Chargers (+3.5) at Raiders

Forecast:  This game’s all about Justin Herbert and his terrible hair cut–or as Grey likes to call him after watching Hard Knocks, Doctor Hibbert. Hopefully we see Doctor Hibbert and not Doctor Nick who showed up two weeks ago against Belichick and the Patriots. That was straight malpractice. I’ve sent Herbert some hair implants so we should be getting another dose from the real doc. The only thing that can stop him now is if Darren Waller flips to linebacker. Mmmm I bet Waller would be a Hall of Fame linebacker. Chargers 27, Raiders 24 

Wager:   Chargers +3.5 (2 Units)

2020 Season: 3-10 (-5.05 Units) 

Anyway, here’s my fantasy football rankings for week 15 which will be frequently updated until Sunday kickoff:

*If you’d like more robotic weekly rankings with projections, check out Rudy’s Pigskinonator which is available on a free trial and then only $5.99 for the rest of the season.

 

  1. toolshed says:
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    I’ve been rolling with herbert; he has slowed down or defenses have more film on him now to better scheme. He is a rookie and has to respond. I believe he will but will it be this week or next year? I was thinking about adding goff just because he plays the jets. Your rankings support it, but the way akers was used in last game makes me nervous. I guess I am undecided if herbert continues his trend of underperformance to very lofty expectations or if the rams continuing taking the ball out of golf’s hands in a game they should win easily. I think way too much. 6pt pass td, -3 int. 1 pt/ 20 yds pass. Thanks

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Yeah I’d go with Goff this week

  2. toolshed says:
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    I also do not like Thursday games or they have not been unkind to me this year and just about every other year. I don’t know what it is but when I have guys go on Thursday, they tend tend to not do much. There may be some recency bias in my statement.

    • William Hung says:
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      Nope – I feel like this too… To me, TNF game scripts hardly ever go as expected – maybe it’s the short week but I also tend to shy away from guys going on TNF unless it’s a no brainer guy.

      Like last week I was forced to play Kupp cause of injuries, and barely escaped with a decent score when he caught that 2 yard TD.

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      I avoid Thursday night when possible. They’re always unpredictable, I think a big part of it is the shortened practice week…makes for extra sloppiness.

      • Eli Man Penguin Boy says:
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        it’s looking very likely that we’ll ONLY miss out on k.allen in semi finals from thurs silly ass games. from the players to fantasy community nobody wants thurs games. coaches either. go nab t.johnson basically everywhere at least to block. where you ranking guyton and t-jo (LAC) if m-will/k.allen are both (likely) out?

        • Donkey Teeth

          Donkey Teeth says:
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          Probably both in the 30s if both are out. Henry gets a nice boost too and would have to dock Hebert a couple more spots.

          • Eli Man Penguin Boy says:
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            this is likely only actionable in 16+ for actually starting them, maybe not though, i had already waivered up t-jo (got beat to bowden, who i already owned twice earlier) and t-will (CIN) in a 20 teamer and i’m playing t-jo over shenault/hurst/renfrow/t-will at flex if allen/m-will out. in another spot k.allen out will send me into the having to play 2 out of higgins/boyd/perriman/watkins land of hell (hell for how good that team is for a 12’er all year). however, i won’t have to drop jonnu smith to nab irv smith can IR k.allen for this week then (rudolph sounds out again)

  3. miles proudfoot says:
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    Hey Donkey Teeth

    Here’s my starters and bench. Do you see any changes that should be made? Would love to get Aiyuk in there, maybe for Kupp? However hes up against the Jets.

    WR: Kupp, Woods, and Diggs
    RB: Eckler, Taylor
    Flex: Sanders
    Def: Buffalo

    Bench: Dobbins, Aiyuk, Cleveland

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Hey Miles,

      I have Aiyuk ranked slightly higher but it’s pretty much a coin flip for me. I’d go with your gut on this one.

  4. Crime Dog says:
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    Fantasy semis. No clue who to start in my second flex. Jeudy is ranked the highest but I cannot trust him at all. Other options are kirk, mike williams (or johnson if he sits), mooney, MVS, slayton, bourne, Snead (if hollywood sits). What are your thoughts Donk?

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Hey Crime Dog,

      I don’t love the options! Can’t really trust any of em, but I’d go with Williams assuming he plays. If he sits then I’d fall back to Jeudy.

      • Crime Dog says:
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        Thanks. I know it’s gross but it’s all I got

        • Donkey Teeth

          Donkey Teeth says:
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          I hear ya, good luck!

  5. FrankGrimes says:
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    Tell Bdon I did message him back! Hahah.
    See you in the championship next week fool.

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Haha, did you want a different opponent? We can change it still…

      • FrankGrimes says:
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        It’s fine.
        We all have good teams.
        Good luck this week.

        • Donkey Teeth

          Donkey Teeth says:
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          Thanks, you too Grimey!

  6. Eli Man Penguin Boy says:
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    12 teamer, not great that breida and maybe ahmed might be back this week yet not gaskin. gotta start one of these bums and/or drop duke or gore for i.smith or nab ahmed

    RB: aaron jones + one of: duke jo (DJ is back), gio B (he was an easy bench BEFORE they added 2 other people go give his carries to), gore, l.bell (unless walrus decides to magically decoy CEH again not good), d-wash (did fine for volume last week in the gaskin role, hesitant to assume that’ll be same role this week though), mr bowden. i guess drop gio b or duke jo for i.smith and just stick with d-wash (the latter can be decided in a few days).
    IR (3): gaskin, p-will

    i see you are saying bowden as far as who to start, and that seems to assume parker is playing too (parker + 92 to consensus).

    • Eli Man Penguin Boy says:
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      oh man i’m trying to find some short video of mr bowden (bill murray in wild things) here, that would be great for you guys to lead in with if he pulls what he did last week again (or gasp, better, not likely to be better, not this year).

      • Donkey Teeth

        Donkey Teeth says:
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        Haven’t seen wild things

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Yeah if it’s any sorta PPR I’d go with Bowden. Not great options though!

      • Eli Man Penguin Boy says:
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        yeah that’s a super flex keep 4 PPR 12’er, LOTS of stuff that happened since draft screwed me over at RB, l.bell, howard (obv dropped by at latest week 4), super flex and i came into it with wentz as a keeper, so had to jump on the QB train quick but now have minshew/newton/bridge (and next year will pretty much have to keep thielen then i guess hit up best QB in round 1, then another by no less than round 3 (judging from this year’s 2nd year draft). other keepers are best in the league though for right now value, d.adams/aaron jones/kelce.

        here i’m probably just gonna throw gio b in the trash just in case gurley gets so injured they stop using him at all and nab ito. he hit his 5 pt or worse floor twice in a row before getting removed by 2 even worse entities last week on barely functioning offense.

        • Donkey Teeth

          Donkey Teeth says:
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          Sounds like a good plan

          • Eli Man Penguin Boy says:
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            too early to be sure, but it’s looking today anyway like all the people in bowden’s way are going to play (gesicki/grant (esp him)/parker). even ahmed (which might be really really bad for d-wash). i forgot that gaskin actually isn’t drawing dead to be back this week either (THAT one would be the most optimal result of these for me in crazy amounts of spots).

            • Eli Man Penguin Boy says:
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              some good news, bradberry out (corona list) good for landry or higgins, possibly both (and mayfield)

              • Eli Man Penguin Boy says:
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                ahhhh, the worst possible universe, “rep counts” for both. i’d have loved to be able to stash m-will and k.allen is too good to bench, but the question is (and we won’t know till far too late) whether him on rep count is better than other options. ahhhhhh!
                https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=liuSbrghzmk&ab_channel=NecroNomaken

                i guess it’s better than the dreaded decoy active, which i guess could still happen.

                • Eli Man Penguin Boy says:
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                  SOB! in that 20 teamer i benched ty jo when m-will and k.allen were deemed to play too. have mclaurin, c.hansen, gab davis at the WR now and one of shenault/hurst/perriman/ito/t-will (CIN) at flex. and golladay of course still in IR slot (man i’d have been best team in league had he ever got healthy for playoffs. still a top 3-4 in season in points team). this is redraft.

                  • Eli Man Penguin Boy says:
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                    hehehe, at least if my ekeler (2 dynasties) ain’t getting much i’m playing him in money league, so i got that.

                    • Donkey Teeth

                      Donkey Teeth says:
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                      I have him in the league with Carr. Not good..

                    • Eli Man Penguin Boy says:
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                      oh i meant playing against ekeler in money league, wasn’t sarcasm i DO have that going for me in that one. in a 2 QB dynasty though i’m now very likely to be playing for 3rd place next week as the by far best team all year from k.allen and to some extent ekeler (vs LV kicker and jacobs and already have other issues lately). wish i had some bad season luck and somehow didn’t have a bye and would’ve had this problem last week, would’ve helped my draft slot for next year (i always try to win, no matter what, but it is nice to see the bright side in these situations where applicable)

  7. niceguybilly says:
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    AH!
    Your suggestion is to start Goff over Watson this week? Your reasoning makes total sense and I’m sure it’s the right thing to do but my fingers won’t allow me to make the switch.
    Thanks for the great content!

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      I hear ya. Starting a talent like Watson is never a bad play. I’d expect him to bounce back. Trust your gut.

      Thanks for reading!

  8. Hank says:
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    I’m having trouble with WR. My league is PPR. I have Keenan Allen. I am thinking of picking up Gabriel Davis or Russell Gage because of Allen’s injury status. Which of those options do you like?

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      I prefer Gage. But maybe try Tyron Johnson if both Allen and Williams are out.

  9. otisP says:
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    Could use some help with my lineup this week:

    Obviously starting Chubb at RB and Tyreek Hill at WR. My other RB, WR, and Flex are up for debate. Choices include:

    RB: Kareem Hunt, Jeff Wilson, James Connor (I am still waiting for CMC to return)
    WR: Tyler Lockett, TY Hilton, Jarvis Landry

    So, out of the six listed above, I need an RB, WR, and Flex. Full point PPR. Thoughts?

    Thank you!

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Hey otis,

      I’d go with Hunt, Lockett and Hilton.

      No problem!

  10. Big Dak Problems says:
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    Who’s floor is lower between RIvers and Hurts? I’m worried Indy will run the ball in a blowout.

    Also, is Baker a Top 12 option for next week against the NYJ?

    Sorry – Big Dak Problems

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Hurts floor has to be lower, always the risk that big adjustments are made against the rookie after his first start.

      Haven’t looked at all the matchups for week 16 yet but aroun 10-12 is probably right. Good luck in your quest for the Wizard Phallus!

    • Russowl says:
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      Non PPR 10 bonus points at 100 rushing or receiving yards advanced in two leagues with the same format

      I’m weak at receiver Terry McLaurin is my number one who has struggled of late Julio would be my other but don’t see him playing in my second receiver spot I have to choose between Antonio Brown or devonte Parker receivers available Fa Nelson Aguilar chargers backup receivers Bowden from Miami, Kendrick bourne,Cee dee lamb ,Gabriel Davis.
      Same league tight end I assume going Hunter Henry over goedert and Evan engram?

      League number two if Keenan Allen plays tonight they’re saying he could be limited should I go with him if he plays? My bench options are Melvin Gordon, Damien Harris, Jeff Wilson Jr, Crowder. Available options in free agency DJ chark, chargers backups, Bowden, Kendrick bourne , Rashad Higgins, and Gabriel Davis.

      Thank you donkey teeth

      • Russowl says:
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        Ahmed also available in league number 2

      • Donkey Teeth

        Donkey Teeth says:
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        If Mike Williams and Keenan Allen both sit then I’d go with Tyron Johnson, if even one plays then I’d try AB.

        In league two if Keenan Allen plays I would start him.

        No problem, good luck!

  11. dennis EDWARD mcfadden says:
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    Seems like this should be a easy but JD Mckissic or Zeke in a 1 point PPR?

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      I’d go with Zeke still

  12. Kool Aid says:
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    Hey there Donk,

    Better DST this week:

    Miami or Buffalo?

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Hey Kool-Aid,
      It’s a coin flip but I lean buffalo…

      • Kool Aid says:
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        Thanks as always for the advice. Gonna settle on my final lineups by tomorrow afternoon barring any hiccups. In it to win it at all costs.

        • Donkey Teeth

          Donkey Teeth says:
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          No problem, anytime

  13. Greg Zampiello says:
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    One point PPR league. StartGage or Keenan Allen?

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Sorry didn’t get here in time. Woulda said Keenan…

  14. Eli Man Penguin Boy says:
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    now carr’s devolved to sam bradford-like leg injuries, doing things even non athletes do and injuring something.

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      I started him in our 14 team dynasty semifinals…fun!

      • Donkey Teeth

        Donkey Teeth says:
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        It was him or Cam…

        • Eli Man Penguin Boy says:
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          that’s a gross decision, at least carr had better matchup (and clearly his floor is just always better, outside of what happened tonight)

  15. The Harrow says:
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    hahaha, oh my god this is sooo awesome. kids you too can not only get super rich by being great at a sport (nothing newsy here), but after retirement can basically be illiterate and get a job talking about the performance of players for money too!

    i never watch the after game network heads talking about players/the game as it’s about as mind numbing as it gets, the only way it gets left on the tv is if i go to get food/visit a toliet or something and come back into room before the channel gets changed. so i probably miss just all kinds of these. should tape them.

    – s.smith (south, remember there was the NYG (north) and CAR (south) ones) wearing what appears to be a pajama shirt or kimono style shirt underneath a loud checkered jacket, on herbert: “he was calm and collective” (completely str faced, the camera actually sits on him for about 2 full seconds after that statement, no flinch, nothing, did not think this was any kind of mistake)

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