I just snuck out of a court ordered gambling rehab facility to write this post, so I’ll have to be brief. After I was arrested for stealing old ladies’ purses from the retirement home down the block to fund my string of Arizona Cardinals’ Super Bowl wagers (a 50:1 lock!), the judge sentenced me to 6 month’s of in-patient rehab. Since I’ll be releasing my weekly fantasy football rankings each Thursday morning for the duration of the season, I’ve decided to throw in some bonus bold Thursday Night Football predictions along with my expertly handicapped pick for the contest:

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (-3.5) at Chicago Bears

Forecast: We’ve been killing it with these Thursday night picks. And by killing it I mean butchering it. Kind of like the Bears quarterback play. The turnaround starts tonight though—for our picks, not Da Bears QBs—as Brady rides The Gronk into the Windy City for another Thursday night thriller. Chicago will start with their 30 million dollar man, Nick Foles, at the helm but make the switch back to Trubisky to start the 2nd quarter. After one of the worst halves in the history of professional sports, they’ll turn to a quarterback committee of Khalil Mack, one legged Tarik Cohen and mascot Staley Da Bear. On the wings of vastly improved quarterback play, the Bears will storm back to tie the game late in the 4th quarter. But Brady will answer with a game winning drive culminating with Gronk’s 3rd touchdown of the night. Buccaneers 38, Bears 31

Wager:  Bucs -3.5 (1 Unit)

2020 Season: 0-4 (-3.85 Units) 

Anyway, here’s my fantasy football rankings for week 5 which will be frequently updated until Sunday kickoff:

*If you’d like more robotic weekly rankings with projections, check out Rudy’s Pigskinonator which is available on a 7 -day free trial and then only $17.95 for the full season.

 

 

  1. toolshed says:
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    Evans hasn’t practiced all week and was out of the game for a while on Sunday. He clearly is not 100%. Would you use him if he plays? I have beckham, lamb and mclaurin as well and I need to start 3. .5 ppr. Thanks

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Yeah with Godwin out I think you have to start Evans if he plays. I’d bench Lamb in that case.

  2. William Hung says:
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    Isn’t Corey Davis ruled out since he has the rona?

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Yes, forgot to remove him when the news came out yesterday. It’s updated now…

      I really don’t see them playing that game.

      • Eli Man Penguin Boy says:
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        yeah TEN is acting like somebody who doesn’t intend on ever playing games. in baseball when MIA’s players got caught going out to clubs and infected like 12 players they at least stopped doing that. here we got TEN going directly against league rules for corona spreading on purpose.

        • Donkey Teeth

          Donkey Teeth says:
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          Madness

  3. scoboticus says:
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    Wow. Not buying Mostert against the MIami (non-existent) Run Defense?

    • scoboticus says:
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      Just wondering because you have him behind number 2s like Henderson, Ingram and Kelley

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Still not positive he plays and if he does I wouldn’t be surprised if they ease him back if. McKinnon has earned a decent share moving forward.

  4. JC says:
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    Having a hard time deciding on my flex position this week. Bucs played so well against the run last week that I am worried about Monty. With both WRs out, this will be an interesting week. Standard scoring league. I am a 7 point favorite with this bad lineup!
    Dak
    Cook, Taylor, Montgomery
    Slayton, Zaccheaus
    Schultz
    Pats
    Boswell
    Bench: Golladay, Julio, Kelley, Gaskin, Mattison, Higbee

    1. Flex: Monty v Bucs, Gaskin at SF or Kelley at Saints?
    2. Long term: Schultz or Higbee?

    My efforts to acquire Boyd and Waller for Monty and Higbee is on hold. So I grabbed Schultz in hopes he could help at TE. What might be available now are the following.

    A. My Monty and Higbee for his Lockett
    B. My Monty and Schultz for his Lockett
    C. My Monty and Schultz for his Waller and Boyd
    D. My Monty, Slayton and Schultz for his Waller, Boyd and Crowder.

    Like any of these? If so, rank them please. Many thanks!

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      1. I’d go Monty but they’re all in the same range for me and you’re right, the Tampa D is tough. If you have a bad feeling about Monty tonight, no issues with going Gaskin.
      2. Higbee for me

      I like all of them for you: D, C, B, A

  5. RICE says:
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    Hey DT!

    10 Team / H2H / 0.5ppr

    Rough start to the season. I’ve lost Sutton and Ekeler and been waiting on Fournette to get back on the field. Off to a 1-3 start.

    (1) Which of the below names would you prefer to be holding as a bench player:

    B. Cooks
    Ruggs
    A. Peterson
    B. Snell
    B. Hill
    Alshon

    (2) Should I still be holding onto Preston Williams? They said they are gong to try and get him the ball more, but it’s been sad so far.

    Thanks!!!

    Rice

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Hey Rice!

      1. None of these guys are must own so I’d go for highest upside: if you need RB most then Hill, WR then Ruggs.

      2. He’s droppable but if the options in #1 are who you’re looking at then I’d just hold for now.

      No problem!

      • RICE says:
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        Thanks DT!

        The options I gave you were just for upside. This is just for a bench spot, and since I’m off to a bad start, I’d rather hold upside than just an average player.

        I have DJ Moore, Scary Terry, and Tyler Boyd as my top 3 WR… so I think I’ll grab Hill and sit on him.

        • Donkey Teeth

          Donkey Teeth says:
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          Agreed, makes sense. Good luck!

  6. Jerry J says:
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    Hey Donkey! Thanks for all the great writeups. Question about the Cardinals runningbacks this week. I own Drake and Edmonds. Facing the lowly NYJ in a “get right spot” game, who have been run on and blown out all year long, would it be a good idea to start both backs? In my mind, one of them is guaranteed to do well, if not both, but it could be tough to pick which one. My other option is Tee Higgins and benching one of them… Thanks.

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Hey Jerry, no problem!
      Sure, starting both should give at least one nice game and the other could easily match Higgins. Go for it.

  7. The sportsguy says:
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    One and done league, can only play each player 1x all season..which combo do you like for weeks 5 & 7
    1. Wilson vs minn, Rodgers at Hou
    2. Deshaun vs Jax, Wilson at Ariz

    • Eli Man Penguin Boy says:
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      RW3 in 5, watson in 7. this would also leave rodgers for you at some other point in season. of course if no RW3 in either of 5 or 7 this would seemingly also be the case and could be best option. sticking with home games in good matchups seems good though in general.

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Interesting set up. I’d go #2 of those two options.

  8. Eli Man Penguin Boy says:
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    from last week:
    1. random: NYJ +3
    2. against: DEN -3

    random (season): 0-1
    against (season): 1-0

    random week 5: TB -3.5 (so far 2-2 in randomly siding with you)
    against week 5: CHI + 3.5

    you listed your to date losses, wouldn’t 0-4 be -4.4 units, not -3.85?

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Last week was only a half unit bet so -0.55. I really haven’t liked any of these Thursday lines so far. Hopefully we get a multi unit play soon…

      • Eli Man Penguin Boy says:
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        oh ok, i missed that last week was a half unit, makes sense.

        • Donkey Teeth

          Donkey Teeth says:
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          0-5! Impressive!

  9. Cram It says:
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    DTeeeeeeee. You and MB both have Kelley and Edmonds next to each other. Need 1 for my 2nd RB in full PPR. But who do you think has the safest floor this week? I have no idea how their values boost with AZ game planning a shitty Jets team, and Ekeler out but talk of Jackson getting more run.

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Yo Cram! I think Kelley has a bit higher floor, his touches seem like a sure thing.

  10. JC says:
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    My Gaskin and Kelly for his Evans? 12 team, standard scoring. 4-0 start so looking longer term. Sure would boost my receiving core.

    Dak
    Cook, Taylor, Monty
    Julio, Golladay
    Shultz
    Bench: Gaskin, Kelly, Mattison, Slayton, Higbee

    Or I still have on the table my Monty and Higbee for his Waller, Boyd and Crowder.

    1. What do you think of the Evans deal?
    2. I know you like the Waller deal for me…better or worse than Evans deal?

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      1. Eh it’s alright, wish he was healthy
      2. Much prefer the Waller deal, get to keep your RB depth…Boyd could end up being as good as Evans

      • JC says:
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        Great! Another wrinkle, I have the #1 waiver position so any prime time pickup is in my sights (Snell, Pollard etc if lead back goes down).

        • Donkey Teeth

          Donkey Teeth says:
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          Nice! Doesn’t change my preference, you can’t have too many…

  11. QDOT says:
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    Hi,

    12 team PPR league..

    Any of the Detriot Lions RBs worth rostering at this point? Though its a bye week, AP and Swift are available in my league.

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      They’re both fringy, will be hard to get excited about starting any of them. Swift at least has upside, AP seems to have some floor. Who is the alternative option?

  12. Pugs & Slugs says:
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    Hey Donkey,

    I could use some help for this week.

    10-TM, Half-PPR with Super Flex

    1. Worth picking up Slayton and dropping one of Henderson/Aiyuk just for this week?
    2. After this week: Aiyuk or Slayton?
    3. I have J.Smith at TE, but I’m wondering if it would be better to get the guaranteed start out of Schultz over Smith just in case the Ten/NE game is cancelled because of more positive tests.

    I appreciate your help!

    QB Wilson
    RB CEH
    RB Singletary
    WR Godwin
    WR Woods
    TE Smith
    Flex Henderson
    S/F Minshew
    K Butker
    D/ST TB
    IPG Wagner

    B A. Jones, Burrow, Akers, Schultz, Aiyuk
    IR Godwin

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Hey Pugs,

      1. Slayton
      2. It’s fluid, see how this week goes
      3. Sure they’re close enough, no issues with playing it safe and going Schultz

      • Pugs & Slugs says:
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        Thanks Donkey!

      • Pugs & Slugs says:
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        Forgot to ask. Drop Aiyuk or Henderson?

        • Donkey Teeth

          Donkey Teeth says:
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          Keep Henderson, lose Aiyuk.

          No problem!

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