See what I did there for you Red Sox fans?

Enough baseball. Back to the NFL where my Buffalo Bills put on a truly deplorable performance on all sides of the football. The worst part might be that it wasn’t the worst performance of the week (Looking at you Arizona Cardinals).

Bills @ Colts

Ok so the Derek Anderson experiment ended with 175 passing yards, 0 TD’s, 3 INT’s, and a lost fumble yet somehow was still better than anything Nathan Peterman could have hoped for. That’s how bad the Bills front office has managed the offensive side of the ball. LeSean McCoy got injured on the 2nd play of the game and is in concussion protocol, so god help those of us who somehow have him on our rosters. If McCoy is out next week, Chris Ivory is not the worst play in the world.  Kelvin Benjamin had 4 catches for 71 yards and that is his season high (Good lord that’s dreadful). Zay Jones led the team in targets and frankly is the better Bills WR ROS on this roster, especially in PPR leagues. This game stunk as a Bills fan. And honestly, there’s not a lot of hope in sight as we somehow host the Patriots on MNF next week where the only offense by someone in a Bills jersey will be jumping through a table that was lit on fire via Fireball whiskey.

The Colts were beyond methodical in this game. Andrew Luck didn’t throw over 200 yards, but had 4 TD passes and 0 turnovers. Marlon Mack showed the first signs of life from a Colts RB since they had Edgerin James carrying the rock back there. Mack ended this week with 126 rushing yards on 19 carries and 2 catches for 33 yards and 2 total TD’s. T.Y. Hilton had 25 yards on 4 catches and two scores. He was shadowed by Tre White all game and is still battling an injury, so expect his workload to increase as the weeks go on. Eric Ebron only had 3 catches for 31 yards, but he saw 7 targets which was highest on the team.

Texans @ Jags

Mother of god the Jags stink. But let’s start with the Texans. Deshaun Watson was really mediocre in this one. He only threw for 139 yards and a TD here. Lamar Miller was a real bellcow back in this one as he hit 100 yards on 22 carries and had a rushing TD. The Houston WR’s were pretty limited in this one, but Will Fuller V still had 6 receptions for 68 yards and DeAndre Hopkins had 50 yards and a TD. That’s really it for Houston. They didn’t do a whole lot on offense. Those two had 16 of 23 total targets in the game.

Blake Bortles was bottled up in this one (ugh) as he struggled to a 6/12 for 61 yards passing and 2 lost fumbles before being benched for USC prodigy Cody Kessler. Kessler ended up amassing 156 passing yards and a TD while also throwing a pick. Just hideous all the way around. TJ Yeldon was stopped aggressively as he only managed 28 yards rushing on 12 carries. He did manage 40 receiving yards on 7 targets (what the hell) and a TD. Donte Moncrief was the big WR for the Jags as he had 10 targets for 7 receptions and 76 yards. DJ Chark and Keelan Cole also each had 7 targets, but nowhere near the amount of necessary production needed for fantasy relevance.

Panthers @ Eagles

This was a tale of two halves. The first half was all Eagles. The second half was all Cam Newton. I’ve seen this movie all too often throughout Newton’s career and honestly it is beautiful to watch one man take over a game.

The Carson Wentz show was on full display as well. Wentz had 310 yards passing and 2 TD’s while completing 30/37 passing with no INT’s. The running game was so bad that I’m not giving them the gratification of putting any names. Those RB’s know exactly who they are and they did nothing in this one. Zach Ertz is just going to cruise onto being TE1 by a mile this year. He finished with 9 catches on 11 targets for 138 yards. The guy is just a PPR monster and is on pace to have the 4th most receptions in a single season in NFL history. Reminder: the man is a Tight End, not a WR. Alshon Jeffrey has returned from injury nicely and put up 88 yards and a TD on 7 receptions. It is important to keep Dallas Goedert in mind as he saw 5 targets for 43 yards and a TD in this one. Philly runs the 2TE sets with both TE’s running routes more than any other team in the NFL. Goedert has deeper league appeal as you can certainly do worse than him. Nelson Agholor only had 20 yards in this one, but he saw 7 targets and had 6 receptions. He’s a PPR beast but is very TD reliant for standard scoring leagues.

Cam had 269 yards passing and 2 passing TD’s while also rushing for 49 yards. The game script kept Christian McCaffrey from getting a ton of carries on the ground, but he did finish with 51 yards receiving on 6 catches. Devin Funchess was a monster with 6 catches for 62 yards and a TD. We were all witnesses to the Torrey Smith revenge game. Smith ended the game with 6 targets and 61 receiving yards. Greg Olsen had a whopping stat line of 2 catches for 5 yards and a TD. Truly remarkable.

Cowboys @ Redskins

That was one of the most glorious strip-sack fumbles I have ever seen out of Dak Prescott in the 4th quarter. He just ran further back in the end zone and let the defensive lineman knock the ball right now. That being said, Dak did end up having 273 passing yards and a score while also rushing for 33 yards and a score. This was not a big Ezekiel Elliott game as he was stuffed to a total of 33 rushing yards on 15 carries. Michael Gallup galloped into the end zone (yikes) and finished the day with 81 yards and a TD. Allen Hurns showed some life in this game as he had 74 yards on 5 receptions. Cole Beasley was typical Cole Beasley as he finished the day with 7 receptions for 56 yards on a team-high 8 targets.

Alex Smith had another Alex Smith performance by going 14/25 for an astonishing 178 yards and 1 TD. Adrian Peterson continues to truck stick father time as he had 99 yards on 24 carries in this one. Smith is known for checkdowns, so it’s no surprise that Kapri Bibbs led the team in receiving yards in this one. He had 43 yards and a score to go along with 13 rushing yards. Jordan Reed was healthy enough to bring in 2 catches for 43 yards and was the only Redskins TE to run a route. Josh Docton led the team in targets (6) and ended the game with 42 yards on 3 receptions.

Rams @ 49ers

In a game that nobody paid any attention to, Jared Goff had a pretty easy game. He threw for 202 and 2 TD’s in this one. Todd Gurley didn’t really run the ball all that much in the 2nd half. He did finish with 63 rushing yards and 2 TD’s though as well as 23 receiving yards and a TD in the air game. Robert Woods continues to lead the team in targets. Bobby Woods finished with 5 receptions for 78 yards on 7 targets. Brandin Cooks was the only Rams WR to find the end zone as he had 64 yards on 4 catches and a TD.

C.J. Beathard was sacked 7 times and only threw for 170 yards, but god dammit he found a way to make sure George Kittle look like a top-5 TE this week as Kittle ended with 5 catches for 98 yards and a TD. Kittle reminds me a lot of Travis Kelce before his really popular breakout year. I’m probably going to rank Kittle as TE2 going into 2019 fantasy football rankings. It is important to note that Raheem Mostert had 7 carries for 59 yards as well as 4 receptions for 19 yards. He clearly provides a lot of speed from the RB position and so long as Matt Breida is banged up, Mostert should be owned in all formats.

  1. miles proudfoot says:

    With cooper trade and lynch injury, am I correct in ranking my waivers this week in a PPR league as Richard, Aaron Jones, GEronimo Allison, and Jordy Nelson considering ROS?

    As far as Richard, have 100 FAAB of 150 remaining. Go 50% on him?

    Thank you!

    • Cheese Eating Surrender Monkey says:

      @miles proudfoot: probably jordy over allison with cooper gone, his targets should jack up to having a nice floor now and they’ll be losing even more with skittles out.

  2. toneDEAF! says:

    The ads on your site are infuriating. I used to read everyday but lately I try to get on and can’t stand it. Redirecting and such.. I know you have to make your money from these but hell its gotten so ridiculous.

    • Super Terrific Carpal Tunnel Virusy Box vs Mail Robot (who wins) says:

      @toneDEAF!: ad blocker.

  3. Cheese Eating Surrender Monkey says:

    i mean really though at some point t.smith’s sheer amount of ex teams would make “revenge game” have no meaning right, i mean how much memory space can one man use up with all the revenge from all the teams that didn’t want him anymore. more like an orphan’s “remembrance of things past” kinda deal on that one.

  4. Big W says:


    If you had to pick one for this week, do you go Seth Roberts or Randall Cobb?


    Big W

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