I just snuck out of a court ordered gambling rehab facility to write this post, so I’ll have to be brief. After I was arrested for stealing old ladies’ purses from the retirement home down the block to fund my string of Arizona Cardinals’ Super Bowl wagers (a 50:1 lock!), the judge sentenced me to 6 month’s of in-patient rehab. Since I’ll be releasing my weekly fantasy football rankings each Thursday morning for the duration of the season, I’ve decided to throw in some bonus bold Thursday Night Football predictions along with my expertly handicapped pick for the contest:

Green Bay Packers (-6) at San Francisco 49ers 

Forecast: It was fun while it lasted, but the winless streak has finally come to an end. I’m now officially better at picking Thursday night spreads than the Jets are at playing football; 1-16 here we come! This week A-A-Ron will be right at home in San Francisco, if you know what I mean. Because he likes men. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. With the serial killer Dexter Williams and Dr. (Tyler) Ervin the only options left in the backfield, there should be plenty of man meat for Rodgers to feast on down by the bay. The quarterback will pick right back up where he left off the past two weeks, by discount double checking Davante Adams for three touchdowns and, more importantly, 12 ass-pats. The 49ers and their 8th sting crew of misfits better lube up, it’s going to be a long night. Packers 31, 49ers 14

Wager: Packers -6 (5 Units)

2020 Season: 1-7 (-7.55 Units) 

Anyway, here’s my fantasy football rankings for week 9 which will be frequently updated until Sunday kickoff:

*If you’d like more robotic weekly rankings with projections, check out Rudy’s Pigskinonator which is available on a free trial and then only $17.95 for the full season.

  1. Eli Man Penguin Boy says:
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    season:
    random: 1-4
    against 4-1

    this week:
    random: with you GB -6
    against: SF +6

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      The coin is tailing me every week. Stupid coin.

  2. H says:
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    Ronald Jones or JK Dobbins rest of season? Thank you!

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Dobbins. No problem!

  3. Dominic Brady says:
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    Legitimately would you go Devante Parker or Antony Brown this week? I’m scared for either tbh. Parker did nothing with Tua (TD but still like 1 catch). And AB first came back.

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Neither is a slam dunk but Parker feels safer to me so I’d go that way unless you feel like you need the AB upside in your matchup.

      • Dominic Brady says:
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        Thanks! Sorry for all the grammar mistakes lol. I just got up.

        • Donkey Teeth

          Donkey Teeth says:
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          No grammar police here

  4. Steve Stevenson says:
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    With SF losing all its WRs, you think McKinnon gets much of a bump tonight?

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Yeah he should, I may move him up a few spots in the rankings.

  5. William Hung says:
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    I think Godwin is playing this week

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Thought I had him in there already. Fixed, thanks for the heads up!

  6. Bobby’s World says:
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    Morning donkey- just noticed Calvin Ridley is listed in the 50’s. Do you not see him playing this week? Thanks!

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Morning Bobby,

      Correct, I don’t expect him to play but he’ll be around 10i-15 range if he does.

      No problem!

  7. Dan says:
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    Hey DT,

    Would you move DJ Moore and Hollywood Brown for Damien Harris and Fulgham in a PPR league or hold?

    Thanks!

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Hey Dan,

      I’d hold there, not that close for me.

      No problem!

  8. Matt says:
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    Hey DT
    Wilkins or Hasty ROS in PPR?
    Thanks

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Hey Matt,

      I’ll take Hasty but there’s a lot of variables in play with those two…

      No problem!

  9. Kool Aid says:
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    Sup DT,

    Needing assistance with my lineup in one of my FPPR leagues. I have a smash spot for several players this week but am struggling to figure out who to start. I am 6-2 and wanna keep the ball rolling now that I’m passed all bye weeks for weekly starters aside from Chris Godwin. Check out the tentative lineup below:

    Starters

    Kyler Murray
    DK Metcalf
    Nuk Hopkins
    Chris Godwin
    James Robinson
    JaMycal Hasty
    Darren Waller
    D Carlson
    Washington Defense

    Bench

    Justin Jackson
    Diontae (always hurt but productive) Johnson
    Bobby Tonyan
    JK Dobbins
    Zack Moss
    Myles Gaskin

    I want to swap out Hasty for Justin Jackson who in turn could be in a shootout and higher appeal for paydirt. It’s a smash spot against the leagues worst run defense but with SF being totally depleted on defense and offense, this looks awful in what could be a juicy matchup. How many points could SF possibly score tonight? I fear that without any paydirt Hasty could be a bust in a game the 49ers likely trail.

    2nd inquiry is Godwin vs Johnson. I absolutely wanna play Godwin in this divisional matchup despite not knowing his role with AB now in the fold because there are points to be had across the board. Johnson gets a pristine matchup against the god awful Cowboys but I start to wonder if this is great news or bad news. Maybe I’m overthinking this but this could be a defensive feast for Pitt and the run game is activated all game to keep Ben from throwing a ton. Then again against the Cowboys defense any offensive skillset players doesn’t need a ton of work to go nuclear.

    Share your thoughts with me on these guys and what looks like an ideal starting lineup this week. Thanks!

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Yo Kool Aid,

      You make a good point on Hasty and the potential bad game script but I’d still go with him over Jackson.

      And I think Godwin is must start if he plays so would stick with him also.

      No problem, good luck!

      • Kool Aid says:
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        Thanks for the advice DT. Also one last thing… Is Myles Gaskin truly worth a hold until he returns from IR? I know the injury came out of nowhere but I can’t help but be curious if his role will remain the same when he returns.

        • Donkey Teeth

          Donkey Teeth says:
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          Yeah I’d hold. Depends how the others perform while he’s out but Gaskin was looking like a high end RB2.

  10. American Football Joe says:
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    I have an RB problem (I have Henry…but also Gordon, Henderson, and Gaskin). Would you drop Gaskin to roster Breida or Gallman? And, if so, would you then trade Gordon for Fant?

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Nah, I’d hold what you have

  11. miles proudfoot says:
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    Is the SF defense a drop for the season and just pick up a defense based on the Match up? Thank you

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Yes

  12. Another Dan says:
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    Hey Donkey Teeth,

    I am in a strong position in my league but seem to be scrambling about a bit each week.

    I play in a 10 team, Std Scoring, no IR spots league in which we start 3 IDP players too. My strategy has been to drop the IDP players where necessary to load up on skill players in bye weeks. Worked well so far.

    QB :Murray
    RB :CMC, Johnson
    WR :DK, Diggs
    TE:Waller
    WR/RB :Godwin
    DEF:WAS
    IDP x3: Martinez, 2 x empty

    BN : Mixon. Gibson, T Higgins, McHasty, Gaskin, Brady, Golladay

    1. I need to drop Brady and another to roster the other 2 IDPs. Who is the other drop? McHasty? Golladay? Gaskin?

    2. Any suggestions for Def better than Wash this week?

    Many thanks for all you guys do.

    Best wishes,

    Another Dan

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Hey Other Dan,

      1. Tough! I guess Hasty but wait until right before tonights game starts so nobody else can pick him up until next week’s waivers.

      2. It’s stick with Washington. Just updated my defensive rankings above (they were all messed up) and Wash is #3 for me.

      No problem!

  13. Pats! says:
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    Hey man! Just got offered his zeke for my ekeler and Jackson (rb), 12 man standard scoring.

    Thoughts?

  14. Luke says:
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    My ekeler and running back Jackson, or his zeke? Standard scoring 12 man league. Thanks man

    • Luke says:
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      He offered the trade

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Yep I’d take Zeke. No problem.

  15. Let Us Now Praise Famous Death Dwarves says:
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    sounds like AAron jones is playing, but that he might only be an emergency 3rd stringer. are we playing him:
    1. over either of d-mont, j-jax for 2 RB slots or over all of: hines (full return yardage points, same as scrimmage), hardman, gus the bus, c.davis (bad matchup), wilkins?

    2. in this situation:
    RB (2): l.bell, aaron jones, b.hill, breida (sounds out, was going to add howard if jones got ruled out but doesn’t sound like i can now, ervin and dex will not obtainable (plus if jones is even an emergency 3rd stringer tonight he’ll be back week 10)
    WR (3): thielen, d.adams, AB, patrick, p-will
    TE (1): kelce, graham
    2 flexes (those’ll be 2 out of b.hill, aaron jones, graham, patrick, p-will (but probably not p-will till we see tua do something good)

    • Let Us Now Praise Famous Death Dwarves says:
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      this isn’t entire rosters in those, from byes.

      • Let Us Now Praise Famous Death Dwarves says:
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        just went AAron everywhere, 4/4 on the first 4 plays and looks fine. ervin is in now on the 5th play though. since they already give j-will work even when everybody is healthy this might end up a completely normal AAron game.

        • Donkey Teeth

          Donkey Teeth says:
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          Sorry, lost track of these before the game.

          FWIW I woulda agreed:
          1. Monty, AARon, JJax
          2. AARon and Hill

  16. Hamtime says:
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    1. Being offered Jonathan Taylor/Higbee for my Waller/M Davis (i have hooper on IR). Thoughts ? Should I try and replace Higbee for shenault or goedert? Can also try to counter w Cooper/Freeman?

    2. Hoping Stafford can play, but if not, I’m left with Carr, Lock (both potential waiver adds) and Lutton, d Jones. How would you rank for the week

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      1. I’d want the Taylor side but I’d feel a lot better about the deal if you got Goedert instead of Higbee

      2. Rankings are above!

  17. William Hung says:
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    I went from having zero depth at the RB/WR position after Godwin & Saquon injuries and an 0-3 start, to a 4-4 record and the following lineup & roster for W9 (12-team .5 PPR):

    QB – Kyler Murray
    RB – Edmonds, Montgomery
    WR – Mike Thomas, Godwin
    TE – Hurst
    Flex – Dobbins
    Bench:
    RB – Moss, Drake
    WR – Antonio Brown, Kupp, Tee Higgins
    TE – Goedert
    IR – Mostert (snagged him this week)

    I hear the Bears might have Covid complications… Hopefully the Bears play, so Montgomery can go out there and have a big game and stick it to Rotoworld

    • Eli Man Penguin Boy says:
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      yeah it’s pretty clear rotoworld writers (similar to any area NY team usually in any sport as well) go well out of their way to write him up in glowingly awful terms (it’s actually for comedy their best writing), worse than he is. it’s likely they are some mix of fans/owners of CHI/d-mont.

      • William Hung says:
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        Yeah his blurbs are comical because if it were a Player A/Player B situation, players who have his kind of snap count and floor are seen as “safe”, instead their blurbs are all about how terrible he is. I almost want to send him these blurbs as bulletin board material.

        • Eli Man Penguin Boy says:
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          yeah they do sometimes mention his floor (which is good esp with cohen gone); but they go REALLY out of their way to constantly mention how slow, lack of tackle breaking, vision, unathletic he is. same way they go out of their way to say how much of a train wreck the NYJ and NYG’s offenses are (which is true, but they don’t go that far out in the effort of the writing on other terrible teams, say JAX, the JAX players don’t get the heap of shit d-mont, NYG, NYJ get). it’s very clear where they have a personal stake, and it’s hilarious.

          • Eli Man Penguin Boy says:
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            i also have d-mont in 2 or 3 spots since he was basically the cheapest floor carries guy in draft entirely (that was known at the time, gaskin/j-rob don’t count),
            – a 12’er where i lost barkley (so d-mont went from possible flex to def playing almost all the time)
            – a 14 teamer (a keep 2 league where mine are always super cheap but good WR’s (parker and aj brown with last 2 picks of draft cost this year), where i have to grab RB quickly, now have him, gurley, d.harris (somebody dropped him like 2 weeks ago, made NO sense), mixon, kelley, wilkins, mattison (one of these is a drop when mixon is back)
            – a 20 teamer redraft with chubb, henderson (waivered when somebody dropped him early season), mattison, j-jax (waivered)

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Nice work!

      Fingers crossed on the Bears!

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