Hey did you survive the first round? Like, comment and subscribe below if you did! Sorry, thought I was running a youtube blog. Wait, are those even real? I don’t think you can blog on youtube. Just post really pointless comments that nobody reads and even when they do and respond, they don’t actually read the response to what you said. So youtube should just be videos sans comment section. Glad we cleared that up! Now what was I talking about…oh yeah, Josh McCown. Did I say he was gonna be good this week? Let’s take a magical ride back to last Thursday and find out in my weekly rankings…yup! Sure, Jared Cook dropped a deuce, Torrey Smith farted while your mouth was open and the Bengals started CBs off the street against the Colts but hey, I got one right…RIGHT?!? It was a rough rankings week, I’m not gonna lie. As Tehol pointed out on twitter to me, I got my Bens mixed up. Ben Tate didn’t do well and Big Ben did. But of course, Tehol chides yet also loves when it’s appropriate. Speaking of Tehol…TeholBeddict47? Is that like 47 Ronin? And is it just me or does Keanu’s movie sound more like a play call at the line than it does a samurai movie…but I’m digressing. And of course, what do you expect? The biggest fantasy scorer on the week is a 34 year old journeyman who has played for/been dropped by teams like the Cardinals, Lions, Raiders, Dolphins, Panthers, and 49ers which is not even mentioning his stint with the Hartford Colonials. So first I’ll briefly go over the stats: 27/36 for 348 and 4 passing TDs along with a rushing touchdown and a 2 point conversion. With the zero interceptions, that’s pretty much glory defined. Can’t beat it. Not even Peyton Manning could. The reality is he probably should’ve had at least 2 INTs on the night and is still a 34 year old journeyman. I do think this game says much more about two things: the Dallas defense and Marc Trestman. Never trust one, always trust the other. I don’t care who Trestman has at the helm next year – Cutler, McCown, a junior high 3rd string QB – I’m gonna want in on it. And to be fair, I’m not doing this to say McCown is terrible. You still have to execute to get a statline like that and he has so far as a starter with a 13:1 TD to INT ratio. Even if you’re getting lucky, that’s hard to do. All I’m saying is I care about Trestman and nothing else. I’ll ride through the fantasy desert on a QB horse with no name if Marc is leading the way. Here’s to what I hope was a successful week 14 run and and you’re even closer to that sweet championship. And with that, let’s see what else there was to see from MNF for 2013 Fantasy Football…
DeMarco Murray – I had him as the #2 RB for the week in standard. Would’ve been really nice to top off his 18/145 and 2/9 with a TD to justify it but apparently the Cowboys want to throw it to Cole Beasley. There’s only so many names with two capital letters in it I can nail from week to week.
Tony Romo – How do you throw 3 TDs, 0 INT and still find a way to disappoint everyone, both real and fake football fans alike? Because of all the Murray yardage, Romo just barely cleared 100 yards – 104 to be exact – on the night for passing. It wasn’t bad but it wasn’t good enough to win much of anything. And of course it’s December. That’s so Romo!
Matt Forte – Finished with 175 total yards (20/102 on the ground and 7/73 through the air) and one of the 4 McTouchdown passes. I know there have been a lot of value draft this year. Moreno, Alshon…the list goes on. But what about the ‘underrated value picks’. Forte was outside the top 10 RBs in many mocks and quite a few rankings – including my own – but is on pace for about 10 TDs, 1,800 total yards and well over 70 receptions. Clearly I’m just in awe of Matt Fuerte. Kudos to those who bought in, I wish I had a share or two myself.
Terrance Williams – He was your leading receiver for Dallas with 36 yards on 4 targets and 2 receptions and if I remember correctly, all of it came in junk time when Kyle Orton was put in. How do you go into the half down by two scores and still not produce at least one receiver with 50 yards, Cowboys? It’s like you passed when you should’ve run and run when you should’ve passed because you’re coached poorly or something…
Michael Bush – Had 56 total yards and a TD. Have I mentioned how bad Dallas’ defense is?
Dez Bryant – It feels dirty even talking about 2 catches for 12 yards but I’m doing it to raise a point: Dez has not been what we thought he’d be. Sure, he had a TD which saved his statline for the night but after Sunday’s games, Dez was sitting as the 12th best wideout in PPR leagues despite being a consensus top 5 WR for the year. There’s been something screwy with his targets and the Cowboys offense all year but I’ll put it to you this way: Dallas has lost to New Orleans and Chicago 94-45 and in those two games, Dez has a 3/56/1 line on 6 targets. If I were on the sideline last night, Garrett would’ve choked out on his own head receiver wire c/o me. Dez ain’t got nothin on my sideline rage. But seriously Cowboys…WTF?
Wes Welker – Catching up on some weekend news, it’s sounding very unlikely Welker makes the Thursday night game with a concussion. Tamme is a cross your fingers and pray add which is just slightly better than a cross your eyes and fart one.
Martellus Bennett – Had a good line for a TE with 5/43 but McCown threw to the wrong Bennett in the end zone. Who out there just found out that Earl Bennett is still playing football?
Brandon Marshall – The second best wide receiver in Chicago – that’s what we call him nowadays – had 6/100 on 8 targets but didn’t get the TD we were all hoping for in this scoregasm of a game. With Alshon’s emergence, Marshall’s play has been choppy of late as he alternates from 40 yard games to 100 yards games from week to week. I’m not overly concerned about him down the stretch, just keep this in mind next year when you’re drafting Bears wideouts: they’re both great, you just want to take the cheaper one of the two if you’re buying.
Joseph Randle – Went for 9/54/1 in garbage time. Which is where he and this game belongs for the Cowboys.
Alshon Jeffery – Much like Gordon, you disappoint me Alshon. Only 84 yards a a touch on 5 catches? You can’t go from 200+ to that line on me so quickly. I’ve gone from all you can eat to three oversized helpings of food. It’s the winter, I need the extra weight to hibernate until next Fantasy Football season!