Last Second Decisions – The Battle Of Midway

October 27, 2013 | Last Second Decisions | 121 Comments

Man, hard to believe we're already halfway through the fantasy season. Where has the time gone? At the mid-point, it's time to start really addressing a few things. Injury status, playoff schedule, all of that good stuff is important to start noting, especially with trades. When trading right now, its critical that you look at the schedule and realize you're only getting 6 regular season games out of new acquisitions past this Sunday if 4 teams make week 15/16 playoffs, and only 5 if it's a 6-team playoff. A little crazy to think you get that little time. While Fantasy Baseball and Fantasy Basketball (pumped for a big year!) are both marathons, Fantasy Football is a sprint. I pick Usain Bolt! Championship.

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The Handcuff Report – Helu, out there in the cold, getting lonely, getting old, can you add me?

by: J-FOH

After my road trip deep into the woods of the Pacific Northwest to meet and pass Razzball Football initiation with our leader Sky, I have returned a new man with no recollection of last Saturday. I woke up Sunday, naked and alone, sometime in the early evening to find Roy Helu had scored three touchdowns in the Redskins big win over the Bears. Am I still drugged up? Is this all a dream? Why are my pants cut into chaps? Like almost everyone else on earth, except maybe this guy, who would of thought Roy Helu would score as many rushing TD's in one game that CJ Spiller, Arian Foster and Doug Martin have combined for this season. Yeah, F**K YOU FIRST ROUND RUNNING BACKS! It's ok everyone, Helu is just really lucky because of one game, but it is hard to imagine that he goes back to nothingness considering the Skins only two wins came in games where he found the endzone. Wait!...What? Yup, that is correct 12 readers of my "list". In the Skins only two victories of the season Helu found the endzone four times. He has averaged 4.2 YPC on the year and averages 10.9 yards per reception. That looks good enough to me Shanahanigans. PLAY HELU MORE! WE NEED MORE HELU! RETIRE YOU CRAZY BASTARD! WHY AM I YELLING AT MY COMPUTER WHILE I WRITE THIS! Sorry for the yelling 12 readers, I drafted Trent Richardson everywhere and if I keep punching my computer I won't be able to bring this drivel to you every Friday. I would grab Helu everywhere, no not there Prezzii, and either use him or stash him. Because of the unpredictability of his coach I won't make him a fuzzy cuff til I see more. Before moving on I must share this beautiful artistic piece about the ownership of the Redskins.

Sawbones Scribings Week 8 – Doug Martin Can’t Shoulder the Load

October 25, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Injury Report | 1 Comment

by: Andrew Nordmeier

The demolition derby of humanity known as the NFL continues to churn on and keeps filling my office with patients. Doug Martin of the Bucs missed last night's game with a torn labrum and could be done for the year. Reggie Wayne and Sam Bradford are both toast with ACL injuries. Jay Cutler of the Bears is out for four weeks with a groin injury. Jermichael Finley is done for the year after a scary neck injury and bruised spine. Let's go a little more in-depth on the Martin injury.

Hard Targets: Jordan Reed Gets In Too Deep

October 25, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Hard Targets | 62 Comments

by: LT Murray IV

Alright! Stop what your doing, cuz I’m about to ruin, the image and the style that ya used to. Greetings all! Tis I, a man who has tossed more salads than Chef Emeril, the fabulous Mr. Beddict. Comin at cha live and in full effect, to bring you the heat and inside scoop on the men who will either traject you on to glorious fantasy wins and those of whom will you want to avoid like a she-male Thai hooker with full ownership of every STD on planet earth. We've all been there right? No? Just me? Alllllrighty then. I know many of you are saddened by the fact that I'm back after a no-show last week, as you were thanking the Gods that I was finally fired and had hopefully had my nuts clipped in a tragic modeling accident but that's just not the case. A week off was needed as I traveled to Bangladesh to take every child at the Beddict orphanage in Bangladesh base jumping. Modeling and writing about sports is how I live a luxurious lifestyle, but my real passion is my hobby: taking my Beddict sponsored orphans base jumping. My immense generosity and stunning good looks are not what these posts are about so let's move on to that shall we?

Cameron…Cameroff, Daniel-San

October 25, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Daily Notes | 231 Comments

by: Sky

There are certain players that make me wish that Fantasy Football Roto were more common. I think I've heard them called 'total points leagues' before which is probably more apropos but since I love fantasy baseball and fantasy football, I always try to find a way to amalgamate the two into my understanding of the world. I actually thought it would be a great beginners league to do H2H football but with categories. You know: Passing Yards you either win or lose like baseball head to head...*Crickets*. Ok, clearly I'm talking to myself. You like the traditional tried and true. The head to head format that pits mano-a-mano, mano-a-womano and sometimes even womano-a-womano. Hrm, now I'm thinking of mud wrestling...sorry lady readers, my reptilian brain has clearly only progressed so far. But I digress, I bring up this topic of points leagues because Cam Newton is the epitome of a QB you'd want to draft in a total points league. Cam has spent the last two years floating between mediocre to living up to his moniker of Superman and this year his schism hasn't balanced out any better. Coming into tonight, Cam had 2 games of scoring 25 or more twice on the year, and three where he scored between 12 and 16 and topped off with a 6 point performance against the Cards after scoring a season high 30. But after a 27 point night against the Bucs, Cam is back in his owner's good graces and honestly that's where he should stay. You drafted him to be a top 5 QB and so far, the stats say he's well on his way. If you didn't want the roller coaster ride, you shouldn't have bought the ticket. To give you a different analogy, you liked it and you decidedly put a ring on it. Sometimes you get this Beyonce and sometimes you get the other Beyonce. You got 99 problems and the B!@#$ ain't one and other times...well, yikes. It's the life of being a Cam owner. You either hate it or embrace it but either way you lack discipline if his imbalance throws you off. In other news from TNF for 2013 Fantasy Football...

Weekly IDP Rankings: Week Eight For 2013 Fantasy Football

October 24, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Weekly Rankings | 15 Comments

by: Kevin Kumpf

I’d like to start this week with my condolences to those of you who lost Brian Cushing this week. He’s always been one of my favorite IDPs due to the way he ran train on Jersey HS football during my senior year, and he emerged as a steal in drafts this year. Before suffering another devastating season-ending injury this past week, he was LB14 on the year coming of his first torn ACL. For those of you in dynasty leagues, here’s to hoping that he comes back next year chalk full of even more PEDs and better than ever. But on to happier news…

Bet the Farm: NFL Week 8 Betting Contest

October 24, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Bet The Farm | 24 Comments

by: Josh Carey

Welcome to Bet the Farm, Razzball’s weekly NFL wagering contest. We’re back for our second season and ready to take you on over the course of 17 weeks of NFL play. For those new to the game, here are the rules:

You start with $1,000 in contest money to make wagers with. You may join in any week.
You can wager on the spread or Over/Under for any NFL game, so long as your pick is made by kickoff of that game. The Yahoo Sports Odds page is a good place to get betting lines: you may use the best line you find available when you make your post, but revisions to wagers are not allowed.
Your wager must be in an increment of $10.
You must beat the House: Therefore, you only receive 90% of your wager for a win ($9 on a $10 bet), but lose 100% of your wager on a loss.
Your wager may be any amount between $10 and your full bankroll.
New this year: If you lose your entire bankroll, you are allowed a re-buy for another $1,000. Unlimited re-buys are available.
New this year: Bet the Farm staff will keep track of the full leaderboard for all participants. However, any player who has taken a re-buy will be listed below all players who have not taken a re-buy – even those with lower current balances. It’s always better to not lose all your money. Players with two re-buys will be listed below those with one re-buy, and so on.

Standings After Week 7:

Weekly Rankings: Yeah The Boykin Play

October 24, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Weekly Rankings | 302 Comments

by: Sky

Dedication. Devotion. Turning all the night time into the day. You hear that sweet little synth riff yet? No? How about the jangly blues guitar faintly being played underneath it...no? Hrm, what can I say, I tried. I'm guessing none of you will get the song which is fine. Not the finest work by those guys but the first person who can give me the name of the song and the band wins...well nothing. You googled it, cheater! Well, it's a major bye week full of bad matchups for RBs and great matchups for WRs. So good, in fact, a guy that might not even be owned in your league in Jarrett Boykin could return a WR1 value on the week. I follow him up with Terrance Williams playing against a Detroit secondary that loves to give the secondary WR in any offense a good day. I think Greg Jennings has a 'see what you guys are missing?' day against his former team mates as the Vikings lose 47-10 but he had a great day so that's all that matters, right? In other news, I haven't given up on Andre Ellington. Hopefully Arians hasn't either...especially without some kind of explanation. Maybe he'll figure out throwing to the running back on screens will relieve the pressure on a beleaguered o-line and give Palmer some breathing room for those deep pass plays. I know, I know: crazy talk. It's gonna be a weird week in ATL until we know more about their RB situation. Yahoo's already annointing SJax the starter via their projections but he just started practicing on Wednesday...yeah, ok. That would be pretty weird for a guy who supposedly had a setback just a week ago. Well, whatever, I'm keeping my expectations on all of them low for now until I hear more news and strongly suggest the same for you. Nice possible cheap 'this game is a blow out, here come the reserves' RBs to throw at you would be Turbin and Hunter. Oh, and check down master Jason Campbell mutes Gordon a bit this week and increases the likelihood that the Ogre - Ogbonnaya - gets a lot of worthless checkdowns, making him flex-worthy in my book. And as always, my kickers were selected by a highly scientific process of trying to burp all the state names. Hrm...that's not really scientific...nor does it really do anything. Yeah, they're still kickers. But enough of that, on with the show. Here's week 8's rankings for 2013 Fantasy Football...

Week 8 Players to Play/Avoid: Stacy’s Mom…Isn’t Starting Him This Week

October 23, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Rush & Pass Strategy | 92 Comments

by: Loudon

With Nick Foles showing the world why Michael Vick was the starting quarterback for Philadelphia, Reggie Wayne tearing his ACL, Doug Martin injuring his shoulder (DO NOT DROP HIM YET), and the future of both Arian Foster and Ben Tate now up in the air following their bye week, this week has been a mess, but we still have to press on. Here are your bad and good matchups for week 8.

DraftKings – Nick Gets A Chance Of Redemption A Mere Week Later

October 23, 2013 | DraftKings | 12 Comments

by: JB Gilpin

My biggest reason for digging daily fantasy leagues, and DraftKings is by far my favorite, is I can brag right away. As in, "HAHA Nick I owned you this week!" While I still finished just out of the money, I had a solid team and can still brag to dear Nicholas. If you didn't catch it last week, Nick and I tweeted out our line-ups and my immediate response to his was "Josh Freeman?!" This just isn't Nick's year for football... And with DraftKings you get immediate bragging rights unlike your yearly leagues. Sure my 7-0 Writer's League Team is going to do better than Nick's 1-6 team, but hey, at least I know for sure I won DraftKings! Nick and I are going to face off again in the same $1 challenge to see if I can go double-or-nothing against him. We're putting our teams together now and will tweet them out right before kickoff on Sunday as well. Razzball Nation is of course invited to join and track our teams and see how you stack up against us in the same challenge. And pick Josh Freeman again Nick!

In The Midnight Hour She Cried ‘Mor, Mor, Morris’

October 23, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Buy/Sell | 283 Comments

by: Sky

Alright everybody. It's that time. Grab your fingerless, studded leather gloves, tease your hair out so it looks like you stuck your finger in a light socket and send your red leather jacket through a paper shredder. Yes, we're gonna rock out to some Billy Idol and listen to the buy low tale of Alfred Morris. But wait, what, huh? How's a guy who's performing well - currently a mid-range RB2 in most formats - be close to consideration as a buy low you ask? Well, under the hood there's some stats. Morris is currently 4th in rushing yards per game (78.7), 8th in total rushing yards (472 with his bye week already passed), tied for second for 20+ yard runs on the year (5) and 4th in yards per attempt (5.2). With all of that, how in the world could he be underrated you ask? Simple: touchdowns. Morris is currently tied with a plethora - word of the day - of guys who are stuck at 3 rushing touchdowns ranging from Brandon Jacobs (yuck sauce) to Kendall Hunter (yes, a backup RB). This whole pile is 1 TD behind Morris' teammate Roy Helu. You know, the guy who got every rushing TD in the game on Sunday. Three actually. Frustration creates opportunity if you're ready to seize it. Given the dearth of injuries this last week and the steady nature of The Butler, a ROS RB6 or RB7 is well within sight and this could be your last chance to get in on that. Buy while you still can and let out a little Rebel Yell while you do. In other buy/sell news for 2013 Fantasy Football...

Jam it or Cram it: The Battered and the Broken Edition

October 22, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Waiver Wire | 87 Comments

by: The Guru

Week 7 in the NFL was like the first five minutes of Saving Private Ryan - carnage. It was one rough week with big-name players left battered, broken, concussed and crying . Sing it, Bono: Sunday, bloody Sunday. The Bucs' Doug Martin is out for the year with a torn labrum. So much for that number one pick. The Colts' Reggie Wayne suffered a season-ending torn ACL. The Rams' Sam Bradford is gone for the year with the same injury. In the Fantasy Football world, ACL stands for: All Championships Lost. Jay Cutler broke his groin and no amount of Kristin Cavallari massaging is going to fix it; he's out 6 weeks. Philly's new favorite son Nick Foles appears done and is sitting in a dark room with his drool cup after suffering the dreaded "C" word the NFL hates to hear - concussion. Packers tight end Jermichael Finley went down with his second serious head injury this season and spent the night in the ICU thinking he was at Disney World. Arian Foster was lost to a hammy, Brian Cushing broke his leg, Lance Briggs is out with a fractured shoulder, Champ Bailey hurt his foot and Peyton Manning's forehead is still the color of a baboon's ass. Oh, its always like that. Good news for Peyton owners. With so many roster shattering injuries and six teams on byes this week, it's time to do some deep digging into the waiver wire medical bag. Get me a morphine drip and let's jam it or cram it.