Smokey Says, Week 8: Brick City Ebron

October 28, 2015 | 2015 Buy/Sell, 2015 Fantasy Football | 33 Comments

As many of us know by sifting through the waiver wire (and many of us not being Gronk owners), the troublesome times of being a "1-B" tight end owner have become very apparent. For soothe! The streaming tight end Acropolis of Justice has arrived and peered it's shallow head. Alas, it is Sir Eric of Ebron riding on his trusty steed of Cooter. It's funny I wrote that without any implications of it being sexually charged in any manner, and when I reread it out loud in front of my church choir, it elicited several "lord have mercies!" and a few "oh my's!" It's Fantasy Football, fellow church pundits. There is no sexual being in the house of Jay(Wrong), because the path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by pass-catching tight ends. And you will know my name is the Lord when I strike my YAC on thee. So I am glad that religiousness is all omnipresent up in here, because last week instead of getting Wilson'd, I should have Nae-Nae'd and said Conley... my bad. Alex Smith is the Judas of fantasy quarterbacks, and my coin said tails to his Conley heads. I will atone thee this week with the bye week and future tight end love through my tagging of Eric Ebron as the salvation of the usually blah-flotilla known as the fantasy TE. Intrigued? Of course you are, I just used 3-4 hidden quotes directly from the bible in that first paragraph. Seek further for the divinity of knowledge within!

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Special Razzball Event: $100.00 Steiner Sports Giveaway!

October 28, 2015 | 2015 Fantasy Football, Y to Z | 138 Comments

by: Jay

If you've been reading the site this year, you've picked up on the fact that we've had a lot of giveaways. Whether it's upping the prize amount for our RCL Leagues, or offering special money contests where you can take me on (and take my money), or... just having fun making team names and winning a Razzball T-shirt, I'm happy to give back and provide for the community that has given so much to me (and the Razzball brand). I hope, as we keep growing, to get even wetter and wilder with future contests, giveaways, and prizes. Just like your mom. Today, I'm happy to announce a $100.00 giveaway to one lucky reader for use at Steiner Sports. All you have to do is sign-up for our newsletter (which is just an one email per week, and does not contain spam, just a review of our post's during the past seven days, just to make sure you caught up on everything Razzball.) Sounds easy, right? Right! A random winner will be chosen from those who sign up today, and will receive $100.00. That's it. (You can sign up in that little spot underneath this post where it says: I don't have enough spam, give me the Razzball email newsletter!) And who's the awesome sponsor to make this all possible? A special shout-out goes to Steiner Sports, home to some pretty sweet sports memorabilia and provider for your gift card! I'd ask that you check out some of their site (click here!), if only because I've already bought a few choice LaDainian Tomlinson swag, and I can attest, this stuff is pretty darn neat (as Philip Rivers would describe it), and I'd like some company so I don't feel so guilty spending that cash monies. They must know me well... show me anything that has blue with a lightning bolt, I'm melted butter. Mmmm, butter. And speaking of butter, it's one of God's tools during Thanksgiving. And Thanksgiving means Black Friday. And what does that have to do with anything? I'm glad I asked! Steiner Sports is holding a huge-a-fragilistic (totally a word) sale on that day! Be sure to check it out! Regardless, good luck Razzballers! (I'll announce the winner tomorrow in my Week 8 Rankings post, along with the winner of our T-Shirt contest!)

Through the Wire, Week 8: Hey Nice Cooter!

October 27, 2015 | 2015 Fantasy Football, Waiver Wire | 87 Comments

by: Geoff

Three words Jim Bob Cooter. Why do I begin this week's edition of Through The Wire with the name of the Lions newly promoted Offensive Coordinator? Not because I feel his advancement will have any sort of positive impact upon the Lions offense. No, not at all, but for two very specific reasons, that are completely unrelated to football. 1. His birth name isn't Jim Bob. It's is in fact James Robert Cooter. To this I say he chose the Jim Bob life. That says a great deal about a person. 2. He's a creep who likes to get a little silly, by breaking into woman's bedrooms and stripping down to his tightie whities. So now that I've been given my medium to express my feelings of appreciation for all that is The Coot, let's move on to more pressing matters.I not going to do what everybody thinks I'm going to, and that's talk about the Arian Foster injury and freak out man. Instead I'm going to quite simply state that I'm rooting for injuries at this point. So Arain Foster's torn Achilles, good for business. On that note, here are your Week 8 wavier wire adds.

Bear or Bull: Butterfinger

October 27, 2015 | 2015 Buy/Sell, 2015 Fantasy Football | 12 Comments

by: Son

With Halloween this weekend, the country has been consumed with ranking their favorite sweets. The divergent opinions and tastes are what make life beautiful and interesting. How boring would the internet be if everyone agreed with each other? Here are two different descriptions of Butterfinger: “Butterfingers. We’re not exactly positive what’s going on inside of a Butterfinger — what is it? And why is it orange? — but they sure are delicious. Nobody’s gonna lay a finger on my Butterfinger (both a good candy strategy and a euphemism for something inappropriate, probably).”- ETonline.com “Oh come on; this can't have been designed for human consumption. This isn't a candy bar, this is a chocolate-coated grenade filled with shrapnel made of peanut brittle. I feel like Butterfinger was an elaborate prank that got to the point where it was too embarrassing to call it off, so they just went with it, and because of Bart Simpson, people still buy the f***ing things (I'M OLD).”- Jezebel.com What’s this have to do with football? Butterfinger may be an acceptable name for a candy, but not for a football player that’s paid to catch the ball... The average catch rate lies in the low-to-mid 60% range. The player I’m going to talk about today has posted eight seasons under 60% and is currently at 50% for 2015.

The Benchwarmers, Week 8: Ginn and Juice

October 27, 2015 | 2015 Fantasy Football, 2015 Roster Strategy | 5 Comments

by: Doug

Another week, and unfortunately another huge injury. On Sunday, Arian Foster tore his Achilles’ tendon and is out for the season after coming back only a few weeks prior from preseason groin surgery. A tough blow for owners who had seemed to have gotten a steal when drafting him back in August and September. The situation in Houston tough and to try and replace their star running back is not going to be a pretty one. Alfred Blue is expected to receive the first shot at replacing Arian Foster, but it’ll be hard to trust someone that outside of a 31 carry/139 yard/1 touchdown in Week 3 versus Tampa Bay (it’s Tampa Bay for Godsake), has gone for 95 yards rushing on 29 rushing attempts (3.28 yards per carry). He should still be picked up in most leagues but stashed on benches as he can’t be trusted as more than a low end RB3/FLEX option for the time being. Neither Chris Polk nor Jonathan Grimes are worth rostering for the time being, however.

Quoth the Raven “Nevermore.”

October 27, 2015 | 2015 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Daily Notes | 98 Comments

by: Jay

Okay, I'll say it: That was an entertaining football game with a lot of great plays and it didn't suck at all, something I'd never expect from Monday Night Football. (Or Thursday Night Football. Or even Sunday Night Football, depending how drunk I was.) And then the first quarter ended. The rest of the game consisted of Arizona desperately trying to lose with the Ravens desperately trying not to win. You might call it the same thing, but if you did, you sure as heck didn't watch this game. Combine that with Jon Gruden trying to give me a seizure, well, you can imagine how I felt afterwards. Actually, you don't have to imagine since I'm here writing about it. And trust me, I'll have plenty of Grudenisms after the jump to try and find catharsis from what I witnessed. Anyhow, a blocked punt and quick touchdown moved the Ravens within a one possession score with four minutes to go in the game, annnnnnnd then they just let the Cardinals offense do whatever they wanted until about a minute was left, which left just enough time for Joe Flacco to do Joe Flacco like things (shown above). A theme of the night if there ever was one. But the real question is, was it an elite theme? MAYBE. Special congratulations go to jont36 for winning Razzball's Week 7 Money Contest! Our very own Daily Fantasy Guru Zach finished 10th place and in the money as well. If you want a chance to join in for Week 8, sign up here! Want to win a Razzball T-Shirt? Try out our new Fantasy Football Team Name Generator and post your favorite below in the comment section. We’ll select a random winner next Thursday!

Achievement Unlocked: Peak NFC East

October 26, 2015 | 2015 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Daily Notes | 69 Comments

by: Jay

Trying to figure out rankings in the NFC East is no job for amateurs. And let's just say I'm no expert. First, you have Washington pulling off their own little Super Bowl by coming back and beating the (GASP!) Tampa Buccaneers and moving to 3-4. Then you have the Giants being gifted a win by the video game known as Casselvania. (I knew Romoitis was a terminal illness, but I didn’t realize it was so contagious as well. Unfortunately, Matt Cassel looks to be in the late stages. Very sad. Surprising too, as you don't usually see Romoitis without Romo involved. Maybe it was a pre-existing condition? Thank goodness we have Obamacare folks.) And then you have the Eagles losing to the Panthers on Sunday Night Football, because the quarterback they have is better at throwing lateral yards than forward yards. I'm telling you, even with a day filled with terrible officiating, the rest of the AFC South getting embarrassed (around the world this week! Making sure that soccer remains the most popular sport in the world...), an unfortunate season-ending injury to a NFL star running back, nothing can compare to the NFC East trying their best to out-derp each other on the way to the division title. The best part of it all is that one of these teams will be actually going to the playoffs... imagine that . It's like a dream come true... Here's what else I saw yesterday during Week 7's Sunday games... Want to win a Razzball T-Shirt? Try out our new Fantasy Football Team Name Generator and post your favorite below in the comment section. We’ll select a random winner this Thursday!

Sunday Night Football Live Thread, Week 7: Eagles vs. Panthers

October 25, 2015 | 2015 Fantasy Football, 2015 GameDay Notes | 15 Comments

by: Jay

The Panthers? In prime time? WEIRD. I had just assumed that any prime time game featuring an AFC South team would be a battle between the Saints and the Saints. Unless those Saints were going against the Falcons. (Note: This does not include Thursday Night Football, which airs the Texans more times per year than the amount of Texans fans total), but lo and behold, the Panthers, sitting at a surprising 5-0 record and holding sole-ownership of the previously mentioned NFC South (which you could normally do with a 2-4 record in past years), Carolina will be hosting the very-innovative-except-when-they-aren't-innovative Philadelphia Eagles. After a rough start to the season, the Eagles have rebounded somewhat, not by their own accord mind you, they've only rebounded because the Cowboys best players died earlier in the season and Washington and the Giants are doing their best impressions of themselves. It could have something to do with trading everyone away twice and then putting Sam Bradford at your quarterback position, but I'm just an innovative writer. Not so much an innovative coach...

Late Games Live Thread, Week 7

October 25, 2015 | 2015 Fantasy Football, 2015 GameDay Notes | 29 Comments

by: Jay

Because of the bye period (which sounds like a LIT-History course at a San Francisco community college) and a frighteningly exciting game (for those of you who were awake) in London, we only have two games this afternoon. The first is my Chargers taking on the Raiders, or the RAIIIIIIIDAAAAAAAHHHHS if you like the cut of Chris Berman's jib, and seeing as how I highlighted the Chargers afternoon match-up against the Packers last weekend, today's focus will be on the always derp-filled NFC East rivalry between the Dallas Cowboys and New York Giants. I have to say, I remember when the NFC East used to be fondly referred to the "NFC Beast", mainly because of the division's focus on the running game and building a team to win in the trenches. Of course, Washington was terrible during this period as well, but little did anyone know at the time that this long-forgotten strategy would be twisted and manipulated and morphed over time into what we have today. The complete opposite. But one things for sure... Washington... Washington never changes. Today's game once again features a battle for first place, something I've been mentioning the past five weeks for any NFC East team, seeing as how no team actually wants it. So how will the Cowboys and Giants end up both losing today? (More possible than you think.) Let's find out!

Early Games Live Thread, Week 7

October 25, 2015 | 2015 Fantasy Football, 2015 GameDay Notes | 77 Comments

by: Jay

Ah, back to London again. This time, it's the legendary Bills franchise going against what many to believe to be one of the most historic stalwarts of the NFL: the Jacksonville Jaguars... HAHAHA. It's almost like we're trying to restart the Revolutionary War just to do it all over again. Seriously, I thought the NFL was trying to make football viable across the pond, not send teams that we probably wouldn't remember existed if they never appeared again. Just kidding, no one in Jacksonville currently knows they have a football team. Except these people. Regardless, there are even more tantalizing match-ups this early Sunday, including Washington against the Bucs, Falcons and Titans, Steelers and Chiefs, Texans and Dolphins, and the Browns versus the Rams. Much entertainment. Such wow. Is it just me, or have the last few weeks been vacant of really good games? The only game that could redeem this fact is probably the Jets going against the Patriots, but these are still the Jets, even if they've started 4-1. They only peak-Jets when it hurts the most... then again, if they beat the Patriots, it'll probably be because the media once again over-hyped a team with a mediocre defense, carried by Tom Brady and something called the Gronk. So it should be entertaining no matter what happens... Today's Rankings have been updated and can be found here. Join myself and your fellow readers in a special Razzball-only Contest! Buy-in is just $5.00 and the top-12 finishers in a 55-team league are all part of the prize pool! Sign up here! Want to win a Razzball T-Shirt? Try out our new Fantasy Football Team Name Generator and post your favorite below in the comment section. We’ll select a random winner next Thursday!

Start ‘Em and Sit ‘Em, Week 7: My Wellbutrin Influenced Journey to Greatness

October 24, 2015 | 2015 Fantasy Football, 2015 Roster Strategy | 71 Comments

by: LT Murray IV

Greetings! I'd like to start by informing you that my doctor prescribed me Wellbutrin, which is a mild anti-depressant, but can also help with A.D.D. (which I have in the worst way). I don't believe in taking adderall, as it's just another form of meth, and your boy is stimulant free (other than herbal viagra). I've only been taking it for two weeks thus far, but it's totally changed my life and in multiple ways at that. Not only am I more focused than ever, as I wrote this post in record time (yes, I wrote this part last), but I've reached the type of mental zone that I've only once witnessed before, and that was Bradley Cooper in Limitless. Not only do these magic blue pills make me feel better about leaving the world of modeling to become a fantasy sports writer, but I'm not busting nuts like the Steamboat Geyser. I kid you not, this shizz is incredible! I can't lie to ya, I'm feelin myself like Mac Dre right now, and I pray to the Elders I never lose this feeling, for I fully believe, at this moment, that I can take on the entire world and become the most famous fantasy sports writer that ever lived... Until I crash anyway, then I'll be back in the gutter, begging sloppy drunk chicks to take me home for a hot bath and a TV dinner. I'll let you be the judge, but, uhhhh, watch the video after the jump to see how I feel right now. I am Tehol Beddict and this Start 'Em, Sit 'Em! TAKE HEED!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My rankings have been updated and can be found here. Join Jay and your fellow readers in a special Razzball-only Contest! Buy-in is just $5.00 and the top-12 finishers in a 55-team league are all part of the prize pool! Sign up here! Want to win a Razzball T-Shirt? Try out our new Fantasy Football Team Name Generator and post your favorite below in the comment section. We’ll select a random winner next Thursday!

Streamers, Week 7: The World Of Teddy Ruxpin

October 24, 2015 | 2015 Fantasy Football, 2015 Roster Strategy | 16 Comments

by: waterloo

I took the week off last week, and it was for a good reason, mind you. I didn't play any DFS, but I did play my regular seasonal leagues. However, I wasn't active on the waiver wire. You could say I took the week off from writing the streamers column, but I also wrote streamers off in my personal life, too. I got to marry my best friend this past weekend, and it was amazing. [Jay's Note: Congrats!] I'm back on the grid now, and I'll be looking at the waiver wire for my column each week, but I have my lineup cemented in my personal life for good. Let's get to it!