Antonio Brown lit up his former team the Oakland Raiders this week, going off for 5 catches for 153 yards and 2 touchdowns as he fully delivered on his 2nd round fantasy-draft-price-tag. And just when his owners needed him most. He also chipped in 1 carry for 13 yards and he didn’t even fart in anyone’s face in the locker room after the win. Wait a minute, that doesn’t sound like the AB I know. *checks notes* Ahhhh this was A.J. Brown, not Antonio Brown! My bad, honest mistake. The Titans 2nd round rookie out of Mississippi, A.J. Brown, now has 6 touchdowns and three 100+ yard games on the season. Can I just draft the entire 2019 rookie receiver class on all of my teams next year? Anyway, here’s what else I saw during yesterday afternoons’ games for fantasy football:     

Gardner Minshew – 24/37 for 162 yards and his 15th touchdown. It’s tough being a mere mortal when you used to be able to throw the pigskin over a mountain.

Leonard Fournette – 15 carries for 50 yards, 3 catches for 13 yards. I’ve been saying for weeks and weeks to stash Ryquell Armstead (2 carries for 7 yards) because seriously, what are the odds Leo can stay healthy for a full 16 games? Well, the odds are looking pretty good at this point. This year, instead of getting injured, he’ll just have his worst game of the season during your fantasy playoffs. Fun!

D.J. Chark – 9 catches for 75 yards. Uncle Rico to Charknado is back, must watch TV!

Philip Rivers – 16/22 for 314 yards and 3 touchdowns—he now has 20 touchdowns on the season. It was reported prior to week 13 that he might get benched, but apparently Philip isn’t quite at the end of the Rivers. Tyrod Taylor (3/5 for 26 yards and his 1st touchdown) did relieve Rivers in this one but it was because the Chargers were up 28 in the 4th quarter.

Austin Ekeler – 8 carries for 101 yards, 4 catches for 112 yards and his 11th touchdown. The best running back in Los Angeles has put himself solidly in the conversation for 2019 fantasy MVP. His buddy Melvin Gordon (12 carries for 55 yards, 5 catches for 29 yards and his 6th touchdown) wasn’t too shabby either.

Keenan Allen – 5 catches for 83 yards. Would you believe it if I told you Allen is on track to play 47 of a possible 48 games over the past 3 seasons? I think we can officially cut the injury prone tag off.

Mike Williams – 2 catches for 63 yards and his 1st touchdown. The regression fairies could only hold Williams down, while tickling him, for so long. After his 11 touchdowns in 2018, he’s finally on the board in 2019. There’s probably still a buy low window open in dynasty and keeper leagues; poke your paw thru.

Hunter Henry – 2 catches for 39 yards and his 4th touchdown. I’m working tirelessly on my early top 100 dynasty rankings for 2020 and the top 25 will be dropped this week. Spoiler alert: Hunter Henry didn’t make the top 25 but he did make the top 50. Stay tuned. 

Benny Snell16 carries for 41 yards and a fumble lost. Those hopes and dreams of Snell carrying fantasy teams to championships have turned to night terrors. It sounds like James Conner (shoulder) will probably return next week, so the dream might be dead but don’t drop Benny quite yet. It’s also worth noting Conner is a free agent after 2020, so Snell could be worth a buy low offer in dynasty leagues right now. 

Diontae Johnson – 6 catches for 60 yards and his 4th touchdown. Johnson also increased his owners’ blood-flow with an 85 yard punt return touchdown. The 2nd round pick looks legit.

Kyler Murray -20/30 for 194 yards, 6 carries for 2 yards and his 15th and 16th passing touchdowns. Unfortunately, Murray also threw 3 interceptions—he has 9 picks on the season—and took 5 more sacks, giving him 11 sacks taken over the past two weeks and 46 sacks on the year. You know where you don’t get sacked 46 times? On the baseball diamond. 

Kenyan Drake 11 carries for 37 yards, 3 catches for 30 yards. Note to self: DO NOT invest in the Cardinals backfield ever again! Of course David Johnson (3 carries for 19 yards, 2 catches for 34 yards and his 6th touchdown) did more with his 5 touches than Drake managed with his 14 touches—DJ was started in .01% of leagues.

Christian Kirk – 8 catches for 85 yards. At least one startable Cardinal posted a line that won’t make you nauseous. 

Tom Brady – 19/36 for 169 yards and his 19th touchdown. I expected the FU mode Tom Brady to show up in this one. I was wrong. I’ve learned better than to ever write Brady off, but it sure is tempting right about now.

Julian Edelman – 8 catches for 95 yards and his 6th touchdown. Pigskinonator projected Edelman for 7.2 catches, 91.2 yards and 0.64 touchdowns. Not even close, robot! 

Sony Michel – 5 carries for 8 yards, 1 catch for 1 yard. Note to self: DO NOT invest in the Patriots backfield ever again! After a monster game last week, James White (6 carries for 33 yards, 5 catches for 27 yards) was also back to his old self and Brandon Bolden (1 carry for 10 yards and his 4th touchdown) found the endzone once again, too predictable!

Patrick Mahomes – 26/40 for 283 yards and his 21st touchdown. The regression fairies are all over Mahomes’ butt. Mahomie don’t play that!

Darwin Thompson 4 carries for 7 yards, 4 catches for 36 yards. Darwin was the natural selection off your waiver wire this past week, or so we thought. Heath Cummings and I discussed him on the Razzball Fantasy Football Podcast last week. We didn’t expect old man LeSean McCoy (11 carries for 39 yards, 1 catch for 4 yards) to out-touch Thompson 12 to 8, but we did say the Chiefs backfield is almost as tough to predict as the Patriots backfield.

Tyreek Hill – 6 catches for 62 yards. The Cheetah was on the prowl this week against Stephon Gilmore but it was the Baby Cheetah, Mecole Hardman (1 catch for 48 yards and his 6th touchdown), who found the endzone.

Travis Kelce – 7 catches for 66 yards and his 1st rushing touchdown—also had a fumble lost. There was a lot of talk about stacking Mahomes and Kelce in the preseason with an eye toward the fantasy playoffs. That didn’t workout too great unless those teams managed a first round bye. Update: I forgot Kelce scored that rushing TD. The Kelce/Mahomes stack wasn’t too bad at all for playoffs week 1.

Derrick Henry – 10 carries for 108 yards, 1 catch for 6 yards and his 15th touchdown. Henry now has multiple touchdowns in four of the past five games and he’s sure looking like a league winner. Take note, Henry is a free agent this off season. Wonder if the Jags would sign him just so they don’t have to play against him?

Ryan Tannehill – 21/27 for 391 yards, 4 carries for 19 yards and 3 passing touchdowns—he now has 15 passing touchdowns and 3 rushing touchdowns in his 7 starts. Why did I draft Patrick Mahomes again?

Josh Jacobs – Was a game time decision and ruled out late with a shoulder injury. Apparently he’s been playing since late October with a broken shoulder. Hey, has anyone checked Tom Brady for that?

Deandre Washington – 14 carries for 53 yards, 6 catches for 43 yards and his 2nd touchdown. If you were savvy and/or crazy enough to grab and start Washington this week, well played.

Darren Waller – 6 catches for 73 yards and a fumble lost. I drafted him because of how he looks shirtless but I kept him in my lineups because of how he looks shirtless.

via GIPHY

Russell Wilson – 22/36 for 248 yards, 5 carries for 28 yards with zero touchdowns and 1 interception. Watching the Sunday night game with sharp objects nearby was Dangeruss if you needed Wilson to score 15 points to win your playoff matchup. Why is fantasy football such a cruel game?  

Tyler Lockett – 4 catches for 43 yards. I hope you weren’t depending on any Seahawks this week. 

D.K. Metcalf – 6 catches for 78 yards. D.K. was the one semi-decent Seahawk fantasy-play in this one and he almost looks as good as Waller without a shirt. Coincidence? This 2019 rookie receiver class has turned out sexy in more ways than one. I’m drafting all of my 2020 teams based solely on abdominals and pectorals.

Chris Carson 15 carries for 76 yards, 3 catches for 15 yards. Guess you can call this semi-decent too if you want. I had dreams of the fumble machine Carson losing the starting gig to my boy Rashaad Penny (1 catch for 16 yards), but Penny left early with a knee injury and it sounds like he may have a torn ACL. Clearly I’ve somehow forsaken the fantasy gods.

Todd Gurley – 23 carries for 79 yards, 4 catches for 34 yards and his 10th touchdown. Just as we all predicted, Sean McVay waited until the fantasy playoffs to take the kid gloves off. If you had the balls to buy prior to your trade deadline and still made your playoffs, congratulations! Is it difficult walking around with those cantaloupes in your pants?

Robert Woods – 7 catches for 98 yards and his 1st receiving touchdown. Coming into this game Bob Woods had one rushing touchdown and zero receiving touchdowns. Not a bad time to show up for those owners who spent a 4th round draft pick on him.

Cooper Kupp – 4 catches for 45 yards and his 7th touchdown. I said to buy-low on Pooper Kupp three weeks ago if your league still allowed trading. The last two weeks Kupp has caught 10 passes for 110 yards and 2 touchdowns. Donkey got one right!

Tyler Higbee – 7 catches for 116 yards. That’s back-to-back 7-catch 100-yard games for the 2016 4th round pick plus he caught a touchdown last week. Wonder what his abs look like.

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Stud-muffin! Look at those pits!

  1. Eric says:
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    Kelce had a rushing td.

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Good catch, I just updated it. Turns out the Mahomes/Kelce stack wasn’t too bad at all this week.

      Thanks for lookin out!

  2. The Harrow says:
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    OBJ just now finds out CLE sucks. almost like he’s so tuned out to the outside world as if he’s like the first person ever to learn about CLE or something. i am not just referencing the team here.

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Landry told him Cleveland was a beautiful place!

      • The Harrow says:
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        i would’ve too to get the best CB on OBJ every game so i could make my life easier/paid my stats.

        they did put in that resort desert made of all black sand just outside CLE called the G.O.D (great Ohio desert).

  3. Better Call Limehouse says:
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    did anybody this week…

    1. have a team that only made the playoffs since the 5 or so teams below are str up bad (8 make playoffs) so you had to play the best team all year…. which sounds bad, until that best team in the league had RW3 and lockett starting

    2. had the best team in the league all year…. but due to having to sub jacobs for mccoy, and playing against rivers + ekeler will lose easily? esp funny as clearly anybody that’s started rivers most/all of the year you’d nearly have to have a junk seed to have made the playoffs (and 8/12 of league make playoffs).

    so i’m alive still for the big money in one spot where i almost have no right to be, and out of it where i average dozens more points a week than the guy i lost to (not many dozens). good thing we pay most points in season double the buy in in the latter league so i was freerolling over there.

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Fantasy football for ya….

  4. Better Call Limehouse says:
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    you seeing this blurb on evans, this ain’t good and is this seriously what happens with hamstring strains (strains are technically a small tear that presumably gets better)
    “”We’re gonna let it bleed out,” Arians said on Evans’ soft tissue injury. “He was a quick healer when he had it in the spring. He’ll be very doubtful for this week.”

    • Better Call Limehouse says:
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      do they run like middle ages type leech treatment here on these things or what

      • Donkey Teeth

        Donkey Teeth says:
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        Haha right, just let it bleed out!

  5. James Bolger says:
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    DT:

    Would you sit OBJ in Week 15 & replace with Kareem Hunt or James White?

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      I’d go with OBJ of those options. Any chance of snagging DeAndre Washington?

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