Sometimes you pick up a streamer and it’s just like a Tinder hookup. You use them and then toss them back before the night (aka waivers) are over. Other times, it’s more like John Denver and you have to tear yourself away from your streaming options, and you find yourself singing, “I’m streaming, on a jet plane. Don’t know when I’ll be back again. Oh babe, I hate to go.” The best case scenario is that you find yourself falling in love with a new starter, or starting option, that you can roster all season. While most streaming options fall into the Tinder hookup category, I hope some others have given you at least a couple weeks of production.

Jameis Winston and Cameron Brate may have you thinking about putting a ring on it. Will Dissly, Ryan Fitzpatrick, and Jesse James, got their numbers put in the phone, but then we ghosted them after a couple weeks. Fitz lost his job and “No, I don’t want no scrubs.” Dissly got injured, and Jesse James was a victim of the hot ex coming back into the picture.  Most streaming options will be more like Jimmy Garoppolo’s preseason date than Reese Witherspoon/Katherine Heigel rom-com characters, but keep your eye out for THE ONE that could be potential season long difference makers as you look for bye week fill ins and streamers.

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Better Luck(y) than good may not apply to the NFL, or at least not for the Colts. The Colts got their star quarterback behind center this season, but has not resulted in much success, as the team is 1-5 with the sole win coming against the Redskins in a game that was brutal to watch. The Colts top WR has been banged up and the injury and time share among the RBs has left much to be desired. While the Colts offense is currently 11th in points scored, much of that has been achieved while playing from behind or in garbage time. For fantasy purposes, it doesn’t matter much when the points are accumulated, but what can you expect from the offense moving forward?

Well, B_Don, riding solo for this podcast, takes a look at the Colts offense and breaks down the player profiles for the Colts offensive weapons not named Andrew Luck or T.Y. Hilton. B_Don profiles the secondary pieces in the offense to see who you can trust rest of season. Chester Rogers, Ryan Grant, Eric Ebron, Jack Doyle, Nyheim Hines, Marlon Mack, and Jordan Wilkins are profiled to give you an idea of what they are from an ability standpoint. B_Don also looks at the offense as a whole to give you fantasy values for these players moving forward.

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While Donkey Teeth is off at his retreat, (which I like to envision as some kind of Legend of Zelda quest to save the princess and find his inner hero) B_Don brings in a guest co-host, Rob Davenport to profile the new Panthers WRs, Jarius Wright, Curtis Samuel, and D.J. Moore. The guys disagree on which of the three will become the #1 in Carolina, but are both in agreement that Devin Funchess is not long for the #1 WR designation. B_Don makes Rob uncomfortable with some Drew Brees talk in recognition of his record breaking performance, and maybe Tre’Quan Smith was just a little too wide open….

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There is a recurring segment on my podcast, the A**hole of the Week. I encourage you to listen to the show for all the great information, but it’s really all about the a**hole of the week. So far we’ve had the referee who cost Michael Thomas and 80 yard touchdown, Petey Sunshine for toying with Chris Carson’s workload, Taylor Gabriel for running over a ball boy and standing over him, you get the picture.

I’m sure some of you probably would have called for Mason Crosby last week, but seeing as I’m a Bears fan, I enjoy watching the Packers suffer. I’m interested to hear who you would’ve picked as your a**hole of the week from week 5, and keep your eye out in week 6. The first quarterback streaming option could likely have taken this honor a number of times, but he’s likely the most talented quarterback available in most 10 and 12 team leagues still.

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Prediction for this week’s Bears game, 352 to t’ree. I know, I know, but I think Miami keeps it close and gets the late field goal. It’s time to appoint a new master of ceremony for Da Bears though, and I think it may be Da Mitch! Da Mitch actually did throw that ball over them mountains. He hangs out with Chuck Norris’s beard on the weekend. He beat Al Bundy’s record and threw for 5 TDs for Polk High School.

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Welcome to The Sausage Fest: A safe place where you can retreat from the wife and kids, or your mother, with no judgment about the number of times you check your fantasy lineups each day. On this week’s episode, BraMy and Donkey pontificate on one well known running back (Money Marshawn Lynch) and one lesser known running back (Austin Ekeler).

Will Beastmode continue his resurgence back into RB1 territory on the wings of Chucky’s “fresh” offensive scheme? Will the undrafted free agent Ekeler continue to produce solid RB2 numbers moving forward? And who’s the top rookie wide receiver to own? The fellas bestow this knowledge as well as a double dose of everyone’s favorite segment “A**hole of the Week”. The sausage is juicier on the inside, come on in:

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Controversy struck the Ditka, Sausage, and Fantasy Sports podcast this week. If you didn’t know, that’s the podcast that I do with Donkey Teeth here on Razzball (shameless plug). Anyway, we have our season long bets that we refer to as stogie bets. We started with steak and liquor, but that was stolen from another podcast and Donkey Teeth doesn’t eat steak so that reward was pretty tilted toward one side. As Ditka-ites, Ditka followers, Ditkaheads, we both enjoy a nice cigar and decide on stogie bets.

One of those bets was whether Tyrod Taylor would start for the Browns all season or not, barring injury. That was the bet and no more was said about it. Well, Tyrod got hurt in week 3 and we had the first Baker Mayfield sighting. Tyrod was concussed and didn’t return to the game, and Baker has been announced as the starter for week 4 regardless of Tyrod’s health situation and clearing the concussion protocol.

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B_Don and Donkey Teeth profile two sexy young wide receivers this week as they dig into the film on Mike Williams and Tyler Boyd. Take a look for both of these young gents on you waiver wire.

Then the sausage fest gets extra juicy as the boys are joined by Razzball’s own Rotowan. They chat about goofy elimination and vampire leagues, Phillip Lindsay, and get Rotowan’s take on Mike Williams and Tyler Boyd. The show is rounded out with a little game of Sausage/Cheesehead/Ditka (Buy/Sell/Hold). Enjoy your weekly sausage here:

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My apologies for dragging MB through the mud last week on Ryan Fitzpatrick. Sorry MB. I’m stupid. You’re smart. I was wrong. You were right. You’re the best. I’m the worst. You’re very good looking. I’m not very attractive.

Ryan Fitzpatrick is the greatest thing since sliced bread (is it really that hard to slice bread?), but then what does that make Patrick Mahomes? What was the greatest thing before sliced bread? The wheel? So Mahomes is the greatest thing since the wheel, and we could maybe say that Patrick is rollin’ with Ma-homies.

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The All-In Kid, Senior Fantasy Football Writer at The Athletic, Jake Ciely, drops by for this week’s fantasy football podcast. Jake shares his thoughts and expectations for Phillip Lindsay, Matt Breida, Alfred Morris, and John Brown moving forward. Spoiler Alert: The Kid is pushing all-in on John Brown. Ciely also shares his approach to selling risky asset, Josh Gordon, with the move to New England and buying Gordon’s replacement Antonio Callaway.

After attempting to crush Donkey Teeth’s Sony Michel hopes and dreams, they discuss the mysterious Seahawks backfield and finally Jake shares some of the secrets to his ranking successes (#1 in baseball accuracy & top 5 in football accuracy at Fantasy Pros).

Once Ciely departs and B_Don is located, the guys delve into their profiles of the week, discussing Matt Breida, Alfred Morris and John Brown even more in depth. All of this, plus new segments “Sausage, Cheesehead or Ditka”, “A**hole of the Week” and “Eat a D*ck” can be found inside this episode…

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