National Football League, we’ve got a lot of problems with you, and now you’re going to hear about it. In no particular order, when did the NFC North become the new AFC South? With the NFC East being a pretty good division again, does that mean I have to start wearing my 90’s flannel shirts? And should we all get concussions? Afterall, according to you, it’s not just a concussion, it’s a cancussion. Why is it, that amidst your “Salute to Service” Sunday, that you don’t mention that the taxpayers fund all the lavish patriotism we see every Sunday? What is a catch? It’s like the only thing that’s ever stayed a controversy in football since I was a kid. That, and John Elway probably being a secret horse in disguise. In fact, here was the first official NFL rules committee meeting to define what exactly a catch was. But most of all (just in the context of yesterday, because why trap yourself, ya know?), I’m so confused on how the Seahawks actually won. (Note: It’s weird to watch a game where you end up screaming in agony when anything good happens for either team.) Admittedly, I’m not so much confused on how they actually won, that’s pretty straightforward; it was some combination of an overrated New England defense getting exposed, mixed with big nights from Russell Wilson (25/37, 348 YDS, 9.4 AVG, 3 TD, 124.6 RTG and 3 CAR, 6 YDS) and C.J. Prosise (17 CAR, 66 YDS, 3.9 AVG, 10 LONG and 7 REC, 87 YDS, 12.4 AVG, 38 LONG, 7 TGTS). But how the Seahawks could win in such a karmaic (word?) fashion… I mean, talk about sh*tty calls for the last four plays of the game, almost seems familiar. Almost like it’s happened before… And I’m sure the Boston media will have a field day talking about how the “non-call” on Gronk was a crime against humanity, a genocide they’ll say! Well, if he didn’t do such a great job blocking into the endzone on a run play to Blount that should have been the call, they might have had a case. In the mean time, I wouldn’t worry to much about Patriots “nation” forming a protest to go against the result, mainly because they probably think “genocide” has something to do with the Jets…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

belichick-confused

Well, after that barn burner on Thursday Night Football, I’m not sure the NFL can live up to my expectations. I mean, it’s not every week when you get to watch a team journey about 2,000 leagues under rock bottom, but the Browns appear to be the hero we need, not the one we deserve. And if your levels of misanthrope and despondence are running low, the Bears against the Bucs, Rams versus the Jets, and Texans at the Jags have got you covered. There are some interesting games today though, if you’re into that sort of thing (really?) with the Cowboys visiting Pittsburgh and a Super Bowl rematch between the Seahawks and Patriots. There probably won’t be any mistaken calls at the goal line involving Marshawn Lynch, but never underestimate Seattle’s offense to not ef things up. They’ve become quite good at it, and I’m quite sure that Bill Belichick has noticed, while also trolling all the Dion Lewis fantasy owners out there. Just chewing gum and walking at the same time I suppose. Though, this is coming from a guy who endorsed a Cheetos Puff for president, so I’ll consider anything he says as “dubious” for now.

Be sure to check out our Start and Sits for today’s games here, along with Rudy’s updated projections for Week 10 by clicking here. And as always, our updated rankings are available after the jump!

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Period Rank QB RB WR TE K DST
Week 9 2 out of 133 2 20 76 14 33 18
Week 8 46 out of 134 76 13 90 65 73 33
Week 7 5 out of 138 58 2 36 30 22 56
Week 6 92 out of 137 101 60 87 63 18 55
Week 5 9 out of 138 42 32 4 112 56 12
Week 4 5 out of 141 60 15 6 49 4 62
Week 3 22 out of 139 41 18 62 21 7 32
Week 2 96 out of 139 96 116 38 107 13 8
Week 1 66 out of 138 63 73 34 116 32 23
2016 6 out of 136 44 7 10 37 8 10
3-year AVG 20 out of 122 42 28 17 41 16 35

Razzball had another strong week of results, with Tehol doing really well with Quarterbacks, above average in Running Backs and Kickers, and Rudy with Pigskinator ended up nailing the best rankings for Russell Wilson and Mike Wallace and was first overall for tight ends. If there was any other time to do well, this is it with the playoffs coming up soon. Myself, Rudy, and Tehol all hope that Razzball can help take you to the championship, and we’re going to be doing our best to do so until the end of time. END. OF. TIME. Like Highlander. Without all the decapitation.  Alright, enough of the generic (?) sales pitch, let’s get to your Week 10 Rankings!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

As the title let slyly by, the election is over. Thank god it’s over. I mean, it’s really all over guys. Hope you didn’t love this world, because ohhhhh-ver. Kidding (MAYBE). I live in a blue state, am a “white-ish” male (half is enough!), that works from home, so a Trump Presidency doesn’t affect me. Add a few more shades of brown or a pu**y to grab, well then, the next four years might have been a bit different. And in the pod, we quickly give our take on what it all means maaaan, from a Clinton supporter (yes, I was with her), a luke-warmish Trump supporter (Unbreakable MB), and a Libertarian supporter (Tehol, because of course) who did the resting-Librarian, which is another way of saying he didn’t vote. After just a short six minutes of cordial discussion (that’s what she said), we quickly pivoted to talking football, going over San Diego’s voting no on their stadium referendum, what exactly is going on with the running back situations in Tampa Bay and Seattle, and what we can expect from Ty Montgomery and Dion Lewis going forward along with other topics. Jordan Howard was mentioned, I know that. And then we just kinda decide to stop talking, since Tehol and I aren’t fully caught up with Westworld. What can I say, we have the best endings… (A lot of people are saying it.)

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Look, it was either that or “Lockett the Vote”… The world could end later today, and then who’s going to ever know we watched a Monday Night Football game where stuff actually happened? I mean, there were first downs and touchdowns and remarkable levels of referee derp, it felt as if we watched “football” on a weekday for the very first time. You know, like the Madonna song. And while the broadcast served as a strong example of needing a national day of reflection on banning all political ads, both the Seahawks and Bills stepped up, showing everyone that two competing entities can come together and agree on something. In this case, it was agreeing not to play any defense. But if two teams can do that, maybe there is hope for us all… (so no matter what you believe and where you want us to go, you should #vote!)

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Look people, you try to make a pun out of “Ark”… Regardless, it appears that the top AFC teams coming out of the halfway point in the 2016 season are the usual New England Patriots and the… Oakland Raiders…? I honestly wish I knew why this was happening. I… I think the sun is starting to set on where I live, and I mean that in the most figurative way possible, because, you know, daylight savings time. But this is indeed a strange world we live in. The Oakland Raiders, led by the one Carr brother that’s actually not bad, Amari Cooper, and Latavius “I’ll always be 3/4 of an elite back” Murray, have managed to find themselves in first place in the AFC West with an impressive 5-0 record on the road. Because honestly, the only things that do well in Oakland are bails bondsman, and, you know, gentrification. Progress I guess. But wouldn’t it be great if the Raiders could be added that list? As a totally-not-biased-at-all-trust-me Chargers fan (and I’m throwing up a little in my mouth right now typing this), but it’s a shame that the Raiders have a solid chance to have a pretty great year, and it’s being overshadowed with rumors of the team possibly moving. And we’re talking about a post-Los Angeles not being able to be used as leverage timeline that we’re in, and Mark Davis is still able to do this. Maybe they’ll move to a magical place… called Houston. I don’t think there’s a team there… Listen, my life receives no benefit for suggesting such a radical idea as rooting about a specific aspect for a franchise that, at times, was the black eye (literally too!) of the league, but I did it anyways. A Chargers fan speaking kindly of the Raiders? Truly, the end is nigh.

Here’s what else I saw during yesterday’s Week 9 Sunday games…

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goodellmoneydive

There’s a lot of conjecture on the how and why America’s most popular sport is losing popularity. Some might point to it being an election season, which doesn’t make much sense as I’m sure most people are struggling to put themselves as far away from stated election season as much as possible. I mean, talk about bad timing for cut backs at NASA. Could it be the lack of quality matchups on Monday Night and Thursday Night Football? I guess that could be part of it, seeing as how I’ve seen enough of the Bears, Titans, and Jaguars in prime time to think that it’s a deliberate attempt by the league to test the limits of profitability. There was also a compelling World Series, with a ratings-heavy postseason for baseball. And of course, lastly, there is a structural mechanism here that’s in play, the fact that America is moving away from cable viewership, mostly because we as a nation love cat GIFs. And I sort of agree here, all of these aspects do seem to be well-reasoned arguments of why the sport is in decline. But in all this thought-exercise, you’d have to admit that the biggest factor here is perhaps the quality of the sport is in decline… right? Call me crazy, but I’ve been pointing out every week it seems now that the quality that the NFL is providing is not on par with what I think our expectations are. The outlandish reactions to a black quarterback utilizing his first amendment rights, the continued nepotistic boys club of announcers who are just completely awful at what they do. I mean, has anyone understood north of 25% of the words that even come out of Shannon Sharpe’s mouth? Berman, you’ve been yelling RRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAIDERS! for fifty years man. You got anything else? I mean, the fact that Ray Lewis held a job with ESPN was the biggest gaslighting I’ve seen from that network. And then you add in all the penalties for jumping two inches off the ground, yet Vontaze Burfict is in the league. Are we the viewers starting to notice? Maybe. All I know is, I love football, but hate the NFL at this point, and I can certainly see that maybe I’m not the only one…

On a lighter note, maybe this is why we have fantasy football! Be sure to check out our Start and Sits for today’s games here, along with Rudy’s updated projections for Week 9 by clicking here. And as always, our updated rankings are available after the jump!

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Period Rank QB RB WR TE K DST
Week 8 46 out of 134 76 13 90 65 73 33
Week 7 5 out of 138 58 2 36 30 22 56
Week 6 92 out of 137 101 60 87 63 18 55
Week 5 9 out of 138 42 32 4 112 56 12
Week 4 5 out of 141 60 15 6 49 4 62
Week 3 22 out of 139 41 18 62 21 7 32
Week 2 96 out of 139 96 116 38 107 13 8
Week 1 66 out of 138 63 73 34 116 32 23
2016 15 out of 128  73  9 12 55 12 18
3-year AVG 23 out of 122 51 29 17 47 17 38

I’d call it an average result for an average day for an average life. It happens, especially in math. And that was a math joke. I believe they call that “rock bottom”. But don’t worry, playoffs are coming up, and those of you remaining have at least one team with a chance to make it there. If so, let’s figure out how to do it…

Here are your Week 9 Rankings!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

As the title states (SPOILER ALERT), Rudy Gamble (Stat Guru for Razz) joined me in our latest podcast, and it was a great conversation. Sure, I may be a biased source, but let me introduce you to these totally unbiased people sitting right next to me watching as I type this intro. They have given the thumbs up, and if you can’t trust me, trust them. And if you think I’m making this up, I can unapologetically confirm that I’m probably not. And talking about making things up, I got the opportunity to talk about the 2016 election in a way that won’t piss off anyone (maybe!) by going directly to the numbers. We talk about what it takes to create an aggregate system like the one Nate Silver has made famous at FiveThirtyEight.com, and what we can learn from that system when applying it to fantasy sports. True, we do get lost in the weeds a bit, wondering what it is exactly about Trump that allows for such a… unique and fervored following, but before we get into real trouble of entering an echo chamber, we switch directly into examining Rudy’s tools, and some ways that we can take advantage of projection systems in fantasy football, and furthermore, have a great back and forth on how to go about targeting players who might break out. I wish we didn’t run out of time, but we’ll have Rudy back on soon, so until then, enjoy!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Some real good mature Cubs derp right there…

It only makes sense because Ursa Minor is in the World Series, you know, which is still going on. Because Bears-Cubs? Look guys, it’s Halloween and I’m tired and I’m staring at an unopened bag of Twix bars. This was never going to end well. And the same could be said for the Vikings, falling for the dreaded trap game, in prime time no less. A place that the Bears have been located for reasons unknown. And they currently have been in more prime time games than the Chiefs, Raiders, and Falcons, where you’d think the Bears would do what they do best, and that’s suffer in anonymity like the Titans do. So while it was a surprising win, I do understand why they put this game on for Halloween: It was still some horrifying football to watch. I told you, I have a plethora of Twix, the Cubs are in the World Series, Donald Trump is running for President, and the Bears are won a home game at night. We are definitely through the looking glass, and we need to get this over with as soon as possible…

Please, blog, may I have some more?