Welcome to the first official installment of Betting With Beddict. Exciting, I know. Last week, I included my picks for the week and was obliterated, going 5-11. Since it wasn’t an official BWB post, we shouldn’t count it. Am I right or am I right? Or am I right? Obviously, I don’t, or wouldn’t bet on each and every single game, as that’s for the rich and stupid. Beddict is in the stay-rich business, and what hurts the most is that the three teams I believed in most of all totally let me down. I believed Seattle [Jay’s Note: LOL], San Fran, and Miami to be full on locks, and was quickly humbled like Ray Rice when thousands of fans lined up to return their Rice jerseys on Friday… or like Christian Slater when he tries to go straight into nightclubs through the VIP line and gets choke slammed and left convulsing on the concrete. Sports gambling is a roller coaster, and if you’re truly taking it seriously, you can’t do what I did a few years ago and just starting betting on every single sporting event that’s going to be on TV. Don’t go there, trust me. I ended up in small village in Nicaragua, sucking the toes and taint of a drug lord’s wife, only so he’d spare my life. After completing my 3 year bid of red eye punching, I returned to the states and usually only picked a few games to throw down on, but you’ll get my take on every game and hopefully it helps you out in some way shape or form. As a bonus, my posts are extremely entertaining (debatable), so at the very least, you’re getting an extra serving of Beddict, and that’s nothing to turn your nose up at.

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Thursday pick: Atlanta (-6) over Tampa Bay – See, it’s that simple. I just won all my money back from last week and my bookie can stop attempting to beat down my door with an aluminum baseball bat that he so desperately craves to cave in my cranium with. Or was that my drug dealer? Anyway, you get the idea. I’m assuming these posts won’t drum up a ton of conversation, as this is a fantasy site after all, but hey, maybe you’ll really get in the spirit. Like, become addicted….Okay, maybe this was terrible idea. 16-0 for the week is still in play. Let’s do this.

 

San Diego @ Buffalo (-2.5) – The Chargers always do this, don’t they? By this, I mean win a big game, raise everybody’s expectations to the point we believe they’re true contenders, and then they flop like another Aliens Vs Predator reboot. That magic you’re witnessing in Buffalo recently? That’s realer than real deal Holyfield and Imma let you bookies and bros know just how I feel. The Bills defense is all the way real, beginning with Kyle Williams, the most underrated D lineman in football, maybe in NFL history. I’m serious, he’s that great. It’s quite possible the Bills have the most athletic duo at corner in the entire league, and rookie linebacker Preston Brown is doing a fine job of filling in for last season’s rookie sensation Kiko Alonzo. And lastly, I desperately need E.J. Manuel to become a Hall of Fame QB, putting his Fantex stock through the roof, making it so that I never have to work again. Right now I’d settle for him not getting benched. Buffalo squeaks this one kids…..Should I not say “kids.” It totally creeps me out when, Peter King, refers to his readers as, “kiddies,” during his posts on MMQB. Is it the term kiddies, or is it the fact that some old dude is saying it? I can’t decide. Moving on……

Dallas (-1.5) @ St. Louis – Dudes/Dudettes, I was all in on Dallas, but once I heard my main man, Rolando McClain, might miss the contest, I started to waiver a tad. The Cowboys defense has been far superior to than what was universally expected and this man, in my opinion, is one of the foremost reasons as to why. This one could go either way, but the Cowboys have been excellent running the ball with St. Louis being abysmal agains the run. Good enough for me. America’s team, by 7!

Washington @ Philadelphia (-6) – Part of me says the Washington Football Team will come out and win a shootout with the immortal Kirk Cousins at QB, and the Eagles former showpiece DeSean Jackson coming back to destroy the man who found him expendable, Chip Kelly. But if the Washington Football Team is without Jackson (he’s questionable) as they are already without one of my fantasy faves, Jordan Reed, then they will lack the firepower to keep up with Philly. Foles might drop 40, then watch Fresh Prince reruns on his iPad for the 4th quarter, following it all with a cheesesteak and servicing at least four of his ravenous groupies. Don’t call him Napoleon Dynamite, this dude slays it.

Houston @ New York Giants (+1.5) – I refuse to bet on Ryan Fitzpatrick on the road. They blew the backs out the Raiders last weekend, but I’m guessing that Coughlin somehow gets these unlovable losers in gear. Hey Cruz, would it kill you to excert some energy out there on the field? My respect level for you is going down the drain, much like my chest hair when one of my women shaves me during my nightly bubble baths. This Texans team is getting exposed at some point. I say it’s this week. #MoneylineOpportunity

Minnesota @ New Orleans (-10.5) – There’s no two ways about this; There’s a storm coming, and anytime there’s a storm inside a dome, it’s not a good thing. Due to AP’s insistence on divvying out corporal punishment on small children, Matt Cassel’s ineptitude at QB, combined with the anger and desperation the Saints feel after their 0-2 start, there’s no way this game doesn’t end in an absolute blowout. It could be 14 and I’d still take Saints.

Tennessee @ Cincinnatti (-7) – Have the Bengals surpassed MY Seattle Seahawks as the finest defense in the NFL? Some have said it is so…..Those people are morons but they’re very talented nonetheless. If Jake Locker looked horrific against a pathetic Cowboy’s secondary, what will he look like throwing against the deepest group of corners in the NFL? My guess is; Not good.

Baltimore (-2) @ Cleveland – I just loved the way Baltimore was flying around against the Steelers last week and feel like they have the superior team and the veterans to squeak out a field goal victory on the road. With Rice back from his two game suspension the running game should be……Errrr, uhhhhh. Yeah, Ravens will take this one and I say Torrey Smith gets at least one bomb.

Green Bay (+2) @Detroit – I like Green Bay to find a way to get this done, though I believe Detroit actually has a better overall team. But it’s hard for me trust a team that hasn’t won a playoff game in 342 years. This should be extremely high scoring game. If Detroit focuses on run game they could be hard to defeat. Unfortunately for them, they never seem to do the correct thing. Pack Pack Pack.

Indianapolis (-7) @ Jacksonville – I will never bet on a team that has Chad Henne as it’s starting quarterback AND a white running back. One or the other, maybe, but not both. Sound logic? I apologize for these short explanations but Jay(Wrong) has a long weekend of boozing and viewing Bobby Flay videos, so we mustn’t hold him up. It’s Jacksonville. Come on, they have the least amount of talent in the NFL, and it’s not even close. And yes, I’m counting the Raiders.

Oakland @ New England (-14) – Oakland hasn’t shown the ability to do much of anything and being that Fitzy lit them up in their house last week, I’d say it’s gonna be a little bit of challenge pulling off the stunner in New England. I don’t mean stunner, like Oakland winning the game, I mean it would be an absolute stunner in my eyes if Oakland stays within 3 touchdowns. They are awful and the running game is one of the biggest tragedies since Godzilla with Matthew Broderick. Blow out city, baaaabyyyyy. Shout out to Dickie V!

San Fran @ Arizona (+3) – This is one of most difficult calls of the weekend, as this game could end up being like, 9-6. With Drew Stanton starting at QB, I honestly have no clue what we’re gonna get. If I’m Bruce Arians (I’m much better looking), I’m doing all I can to grind this one out and hope Ellington makes a big play in the running game or on a short pass, and just wait for Kaepernick to give the game away as he’s been known to do every now and then. Not having Vernon Davis will be a serious issue for San Francisco. A very serious one at that. Fight Cardinals, Fight!

Denver @ Seattle (-5) – Did you guys/gals catch last year’s Super Bowl? Yea, well I was there. Nothing to explain here. Easy call.

Kansas City @ Miami (-4) – I hate betting on Miami, especially after they grabbed their ankles and braced themselves this past week in Buffalo. Buuuuut, Mike Wallace should be able to get deep once or twice and though I like Knile Davis, quite a bit, he’s not Jamaal Charles. I’d stay away on this one tho, folks.

Pittsburgh @ Carolina (-3.5) – Another game I’d probably either buy to 3 points or totally stay away from. Pittsburgh’s defense looks so atrocious to me. Like, I can’t even comprehend it. The front three have played like total gorilla excrement and frankly, it’s difficult to watch. Carolina should grind this one out with a punishing ground game. Jonathan Stewart will be a nice fantasy play this week if Williams misses another week.

Chicago (+2.5) @ New York Jets – After witnessing their comeback against the Niners last week, there’s nothing these Bears cannot achieve. No, they can’t get you laid by supermodels or maybe anybody for that matter, but Brandon Marshall and Alshon Jeffery should bring destruction and mayhem to the Jets secondary which is honest to the Elder Gods, the most putrid defensive backfield I’ve ever witnessed. Moneyline it, if ya got the stones.

 

Wasn’t that enlightening? Make sure you check in with me every week to see how I’m doing and feel free to compete with me if you want and if whoever has the best winning percentage wins a Razzball T-shirt. For up to the second betting advice and constant hilarity, follow me on Twitter @Tehol143. Together, we can accomplish any feat. Good bye and good luck. Beddict, out.

  1. Nikko says:
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    Hey! I have trade possibility: My Le’veon bell and Sanders for his Gio and Chris Johnson??

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Nikko: tough call. is it ppr? I kind of am obsessed with Bell so maybe not best person to ask. Sanders looks great too. I’d probably hold but thats just me. not a bad trade

      • Nikko says:
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        @Tehol Beddict: What about this trade: Jeremy Hill and Welker for his Ball and Decker. He is a BIG broncos fan and is considering it

        • LT Murray IV

          Tehol Beddict says:
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          @Nikko: Yep, Id be all over that one, Nikko

          • Nikko says:
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            @Tehol Beddict: is lamar Miller for Branson Marshall a good trade?

            • LT Murray IV

              Tehol Beddict says:
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              @Nikko: in a word, YES

              • Joseph says:
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                @Tehol Beddict: He said no. What about Morris and Nelson for Bell and Sanders

                • Joseph says:
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                  @Joseph: and if he says no to that, Bell and Sanders for Chris Johnson and Nelson. Or Bell and Jackson for Nelson and Johnson

  2. Zandy says:
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    send doug/rainey and mike wallace for joique and roddy?

    Other RBs: Stacy, Pierre/Ingram/Khirry, TWes, AP/McKinnon
    Other Wrs: Andre J & KWright

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Zandy: Wow, tough call. I love Wallace so this one’s hard for me. Roddy should be fine so I’m ok with this trade tho not positive I could pull trigger. works for me tho, Z-Dog

  3. Dom B says:
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    Zac Stacy or Eddie Lacy Also buy or sell Doug Martin

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Dom B: Stacy has a much better matchup this week and they at home I’d probably go him. Detroit nice run d and at home. Stacarella.

      For Martin it depends on what you can get for him. If he can be had cheap I’m all for it, playa

  4. Nathan says:
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    Oh wise chicken lover…

    Flex spot pick one. Floyd, Benjamin, or Cooks?

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Nathan: Cooks foshodo!! Blowout coming. Cooks has big week. Floyd last with Stanton in there. Benjamin hit or miss

  5. allday says:
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    keeper league.

    le’veon bell/ julian edelman/colston for Dez/ frank gore

    leveon/keenan allen for dez/frank gore

    montee ball/andre johnson for megatron

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @allday: montee ball and andre for megatron is the one that jumps out at me

      • allday says:
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        @Tehol Beddict: z as in the one to pursue? would you do any/all of them? i have all the players on the left (le’veon and company)

        • LT Murray IV

          Tehol Beddict says:
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          @allday: calvin one is the one i’d pursue. I love Bell tho id probably swing him for Dezzy

  6. John Rambo Jr says:
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    Having a tough time w/ my flex this week. I want to play E. Sanders, but am tempted to put Crabtree in the lineup instead.

    The Broncos didn’t have a speedy receiver to blow the top off of Seattles D in the Super Bowl. My thought is that the Broncos will take a few shots deep w/ Sanders to free up the soft underbelly of Seattles D. Who do I play in my flex and what are your thoughts on Broncos offense this week?

    Thanks in advance

    JRJ

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @John Rambo Jr: I’d probably go crabtree. Sherman will lock that fool up. Sander does have better chance of deep ball tho you are correct. I’m fine with that u obviously thought it through

  7. allday says:
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    is tony romo droppable? i’m thinking about trying to get houstons for him, or just drop him ( i have cam)

    • allday says:
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      @allday: houstons D

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @allday: i wouldn’t drop him just yet tho the shoulder is obviously a heavy concern.

  8. Julio White says:
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    5-11 last week?!?! nice job tranny porn. keep up the bad work. #disgrace.

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Julio White: How did you do, Julio? swallow me whole

    • Crapshoot Kershaw says:
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      @Julio White: can’t wait to go over to nyquil’s post and read about his insight into whatever it is he does.

  9. tim says:
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    James Jones, Kendall Wright, TY Hilton or (so he don’t feel left out) Greg Jennings in a non-PPR. One spot available. Who gets it? Non-ppr by the way.

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @tim: @Julio White: Im going Hilton at Jacksonville without a doubt.

  10. SMLV1 says:
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    Rank these defenses for week 3 – CLE, BAL, IND, ARI AND NEW ORLEANS.

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @SMLV1: new orleans, Arizona, Baltimore, Cleveland, colts

  11. Joseph says:
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    I feel like I need an upgrade at WR only having: Sanders, Vincent Jackson, wheaton, and Decker. My RBs are Ball, Bell, Miller, Sankey, Donald brown, forcsett and McKinnon. There are two offers: Sammy Watkins and Donnie a very for Montee. Or I give Montee and Sanders for Ellington and Mike Wallace. Thoughts?

    • Joseph says:
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      @Joseph: Also, his Cobb for my Ball?

      • LT Murray IV

        Tehol Beddict says:
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        @Joseph: ur running backs aren’t deep enough to dump ball for cobb i don’t believe

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Joseph: Avery is nothing to me whatsoever. Id do the last trade if I were you for sure

  12. Marty Jannetty_Was Set Up says:
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    I haven’t ventured over to the Razzball football site until recently, super glad I did. Absolutely love your write ups along with the advice of the other writers.

    As I use fantasy football info to help make my NFL picks this column is right up my substance riddled alley! Excellent analysis, but as you mentioned no way should everyone play ever game on the board. I’ve narrowed my top 5 down to NO -12, SEA -4.5, CHI +2.5, PHI -6, BUF -2.5.

    Thoughts or comments? I’m looking to narrow it down to 3, I like the line movement on NO, publics money is on Denver, and I honestly think CHI is the most underrated team in the NFC. I like the rationale on BUF, but it’s still too early for me to go against SD (have them winning the AFC West pre season).

    Keep it up brotha, hustle hard.

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Marty Jannetty_Was Set Up: THANK YOU. I appreciate it. Yes, all your picks look solid to me and right on board with what I’m thinking. i don’t see how oakland keeps it close against new england but that is a large spread. I suppose washington could keep it close in a shootout but we’ll see.

      I need this Seahawks blowout

  13. Allan says:
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    Tehol need to pick a receiver and a flex out of michael floyd, benjamin, wright, and woodhead.

    • SMLV1 says:
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      @Allan: Benjamin

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Allan: Benjamin is the one. Sorry I got to this late. was naked with a woman. it ended poorly

  14. Montezuma's Revenge... right now says:
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    this week only, across fantasy writers the answer to this is all over the place (Jaywrong is much higher on woodhead than anybody else, and lower on d.brown is mostly why). ridley vs woodhead vs miller? PPR league. could also go charles in this RB 2 slot this week, but i’m not trusting a dude with ankle sprain who shouldn’t even be playing and is just really likely to injure it worse and go out early,making this same decision go on each week for more than it should’ve in the first place. I agree completely with Jay’s ranking Charles below the other 3 of these.

    • dan says:
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      @Montezuma’s Revenge… right now:
      I’m starting Ridley over West and Bradshaw this week because Raiders. I’m horrified actually, but the Raider’s D makes all bad things good, and all good things great.

      • LT Murray IV

        Tehol Beddict says:
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        @dan: you good there of who

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Montezuma’s Revenge… right now: if charles is playing, I’m playing him probably. otherwise not sure why they would activate him otherwise. Id just go ridley. I’m not a huge wood head guy. miller also nice play

  15. Frank White says:
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    Morning Tehol my Nuka!!! I got Wallace and Harvin as my receivers and Julius Thomas at TE.. I put Gates at flex. Should I keep gates at flex or Crabtree?? I also got Cruz n Decker but I doubt that..

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Frank White: what it is what it do. GATES!!

  16. dan says:
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    Well written Tehol! I agree with you on one Mr. Victor Cruz. His all around peasantry has been one of the main factors of my fantasy team getting ravaged the first two weeks. 1 Point PPR league…thinking of benching him for either Hawkins or my main man Cecil Shorts. Not that crazy right???! Would you do recommend doing so? Haha talk me out of this…I feel as soon as his ass hits the pine he drops 30, while i get a L dropped on my forehead lmao.

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @dan: Shorts would be solid call but I’m going cruz today SON!!!

      • dan says:
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        @Tehol Beddict:
        Yeah buddy. I couldn’t bring myself to bench him. I hope to see a salsa dance today. Or at least not 5.5 million drops haha.

        • dan says:
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          @dan:
          Also I want to give a shoutout to the big homie Rob Bironas RIP.

  17. Nico says:
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    Cool column bro! I think Christian Slater is a good name for our adopted child.

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Nico: Most definitely

  18. Dom B says:
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    Jordan Cameron or Deliane Walker at Te week 3

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Dom B: Cameron all tha way

  19. Frank White says:
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    thanks man… Yo also Should I start Alfred Blue over Fred Jackson??

  20. kisses says:
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    Do I start Forsett over Stacy, Jennings, or Khiry?

    • kisses says:
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      @kisses: 1pt PPR

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