Over the next two weeks of this rankings post, let’s celebrate and reflect on the biggest surprises and disappointments of the fantasy season so far. Since I am a “glass is half empty” kind of guy, we’ll start with the disappointments. By the way, I saw an article recently that said it might actually be better to be a “glass is half empty” person because you are more in tune with reality and more likely to seek a solution to whatever it is that you are being a “Debbie Downer” about. I’m going to reference that exact point next time someone says that I’m bringing the mood down, when in all actuality, I’m just trying to ruin their good time. Ask Zach, I do it to him all of the time.Please, blog, may I have some more?
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Welcome back to my weekly rankings, folks! Injuries are ravaging our rosters, but the show must go on. Last week I had some good calls, such as Chris Hogan over Brandin Cooks, Doug Martin was in my top-15 running backs, I had Austin Seferian-Jenkins in my top-7 tight ends, and DeShaun Watson was a top-5 QB for me. I had my fair share of bad calls too. Mike Evans and Todd Gurley did not outperform the rest of their positions, I left Cam Newton just outside of my top 10 quarterbacks, and Devante Parker didn’t get the chance to be a top-10 WR for the week.
Let’s try this again, I will be updating these throughout the week, sometimes 436 times per day! Here are my Week 6 rankings…Please, blog, may I have some more?
Like I mentioned to a few of the commenters, I just needed to sit down and hammer out these mother chuckers and I finally did it. Unfortunately, I couldn’t do any better then covering a 12 team, $200 auction set up cuz the task is daunting and I was thoroughly daunted, y’all. That said, I think it’s fair to say that if you want to get a feel for how I value these guys in, say, a 14 team league, take a price of a player from this auction set up. Let’s just pull a value out of the hat and go with Demaryius Thomas at $38. Take the total auction dollar amount available in the league for my auction values – which is $2400 – and divide DT’s $38 price tag by it to find a percentage. Now take that percentage and multiply it by the total amount available in your auction league. Let’s say it’s a 14 team one which would be $2800. That puts Demaryius at roughly a $44 price tag. Now this won’t be exact nor perfect but it’ll put you in range. Keep in mind my pricing comes with a standard auction draft strategy associated which I’ll cover tomorrow so don’t go off the rails on me saying how I wouldn’t get AP or Doug Martin at that price. These are things I already know and I’ll explain tomorrow. These are my values which come with a draft strategy associated and it would feel weird giving you a price I’d never personally pay. We clear? Good, the next point is I put guys in tiers. Would be a bit weird for me to price them apart from each other even if it were only 1 or 2 dollars. If I say I value guys the same, I really mean it. with that let’s take a look at the Auction Draft Values for a 12 team league, $200 budget for 2013 Fantasy Football…Please, blog, may I have some more?
Well this will be my last ranking post with words on each player. I know you want to cry but hold back the tears, friends, we’ll still be with you all summer to cover any rankings updates that need updating and any Amanda Bynes news that needs ignoring. When we last left off on our rankings with the Top 80 Wide Receivers, I said we were in the ‘Veddy Interesting’ tier and that it stretched into the Top 100. Or else Puck a liar call, that still holds true. Oh and if you’re wondering where that link came from, you can click here where I’ve magically hyperlink typed Rankings or you can use all your finger strength and move up to the menu bar where it says ‘Rankings’ to find all your needs fulfilled. At this point of my rankings clearly I’m talking to deep leaguers or the completely insane (which, admittedly, can be one and the same person) so if you’re doing the regular 10 or 12 team thing with the usual roster set up, feel free to ignore. These remaining ain’t for you unless you enjoy the whimsy of my writing (and who doesn’t!). So without more delay, let’s get to the Top 100 Wide Receivers for 2013 Fantasy Football…Please, blog, may I have some more?
For the first time in a long time with our rankings this year, we didn’t end on a cliff hanger so there’s not much drama that can be baked into this Katy Perry California Dream Tour cup cake. Woah, where did THAT analogy come from? Cuz you watched the Katy Perry California Dream Tour Documentary? You’re astute, imaginary reader but I’m gonna have to say ‘Nooooooo’ in my Norm MacDonald voice. If you haven’t seen ‘Dirty Work’, you probably won’t get the reference. Nor me referencing a Saigon whore biting someone’s nose off. But of course, you didn’t come here for obscure 90’s movie references and trips down memory lane – or did you? – you came here for rankings, specifically the 2013 kind. If you’re wondering where you can go to find where this whole trip started, you can go to this 2013 Fantasy Football Rankings link or you can navigate yourself up on the Menu bar where it says ‘Rankings’. Consider this a Choose Your Own Adventure where you really can’t go wrong so don’t worry about bending the ear back on the last page you were on. Just journey forward as we take a look at the Top 80 Wide Receivers for 2013 Fantasy Football…Please, blog, may I have some more?
Gather ’round the camp fire children as this long story about how the 2013 rankings were made is winding down. This will be the last Running Back rankings post for the 2013 season. We stopped caring by the Top 40, Sky. You’re too kind, Imaginary Reader…no wait, you’re not kind, you’re an a-hole but that’s alright, at least you’re imaginary reading my stuff. I’ll take what I can get…well, I guess I should stop the inner monologue just in case we have guest readers hanging around. I find it best to weed out the weirdos by starting off being a weirdo. Yup, that’s my bi-polar story and I’m sticking to it. WHO SAID THAT?!? Anywhoo, when we last left off on our Running Back journey, we were in the ‘Back Off’ tier which is for backups who aren’t exactly enticing ones to own and I’d rather steal someone else’s then get these guys. If you’re curious where to find said rankings, you can click on this link: 2013 Fantasy Football Rankings. However, if you’re feeling adventurous, you can guide yourself up to the menu bar and poke around with your mousey where it says ‘Rankings’ and get similar results. I can’t say they’ll be the same results namely cuz I have no idea what ‘poking around with your mousey’ means to you comparative to me and I don’t want to assume. But now that I’ve guided you as best as possible, let’s journey on to the end of our RB rankings with the Top 80 Running Backs for 2013 Fantasy Football…Please, blog, may I have some more?
Ugh, it had to be done. I literally had to take the 4th off just to build up the will to live to bring you this. I hate it, you hate it but kickers are here to stay in this little game we play. Or are they? Foreshadowing! You’ll notice I won’t be giving these kickers any words like I have been doing with our 2013 Fantasy Football Rankings around here. That’s not by accident. They’re kickers, people. Do you really care? I mean, like, really, REALLY care? Talking about kickers is worse then talking about catchers in a one catcher league. Yes, that was a fantasy baseball interaction I just gave you. Sorry all, I’m bi-fantasyial. But even in fantasy baseball, I could tell you who the starting catcher is for the Houston Astros. I just found out David Akers went to the Lions. I don’t even know if he’ll keep the job over Havard Rugland and I’m gonna be honest: DON’T CARE. Don’t take this as a sign I don’t take rankings seriously. I do. Just not kickers. With all that said, I feel it my duty to drop upon you this doodie. Here are the Top 20 Kickers for 2013 Fantasy Football and may the lord be merciful on your soul if you find any reason to even interact with me about them…Please, blog, may I have some more?
We like our rankings around here like we like our submarines: Long, hard and full of…various men compared amongst their peers! I see what you thought I was gonna do and then I 180 degree’d ya. I was pretty sure you were gonna 98 degrees me. You should never speak ill of those who have passed on, imaginary reader. No one from that boy band is dead… I’ll believe you when I see them again on TV. But enough of all that, we’re here to carry on the rankings tradition we started back in June. We’ve capped our Top 100 off earlier this week and gave you the Top 60 Running Backs yesterday. Wanna know where those links came from? Well I’m gonna send you on a site Easter Egg hunt. The first one to find the word ‘Rankings’ wins a box of peeps. Pink or yellow, it’s your choice but I’m here to tell you both are disgusting. Seriously, whoever thought sugar covered marshmallows was a good idea? Yuck…but enough about diabetes, let’s break down the top 60 wide receivers for 2013 Fantasy Football…Please, blog, may I have some more?
Welcome one, welcome all to the big top. We’ve got every type of Ranking you could imagine. We rank players by their individual positions. We also consolidate them and rank them against each other. We even have IDP Rankings and Dynasty Rankings for you this year. We may even rank beards eventually. I already know my top pick. Not sure where to go to find those rankings, you say? Well let your eyes travel north…on the web page you silly! See that menu up there where it says ‘Rankings’? Click on it. Or hover over it. We’ve got you covered any way you go on that. Good, so now if you’re a Razzball Novice we have you up to speed let’s look at what we’re dealing with this week. We left off on our Top 40 Running Backs with a bit of a cling hanger if you’re the excitable type as I said the ‘Know Your Role’ tier went into the Top 60. Well here we are so let’s not keep the suspense too heightened. Here are the Top 60 Running Backs for 2013 Fantasy Football…Please, blog, may I have some more?
Welcome and thank you for following me into July. I will be your host for the rankings show that never quits. If you’re new around here, I’ll get you up to speed. I’ve brought you a Top 10, a Top 20 and a Top 50 to date and will round out the rankings with words version of our overall rankings today while still covering the remaining position ranking needs. Wanna know where I pulled those magical hyperlinks from? Well you can either click here where I say Razzball Fantasy Football Rankings or you can be a big boy/girl and navigate up to the Menu and see where the magical word ‘Rankings’ is to start your journey. Whatever you do on this trip, though, avoid the Swamps of Sadness…ARTAX! But enough of that, I do hope you’ve liked the process of these rankings. I’m not gonna lie, the slow reveal makes me feel sexy. Though of course that has much more to do with me removing an article of clothing each time I do. Thankfully for both of us, I bundled up like I lived in The Northern Territories before I started. I’m getting down to my third thermal layer and I can’t wait to get the wool sweater underneath it off along the way…but of course you came for Rankings and not my unique fashion sense for the hot summer months and that’s what you’ll get. So here is the Top 100 for the 2013 Fantasy Football season. Pardon me while I remove my goose down jacket…Please, blog, may I have some more?